Weekly Randoms - W/O 10/01

ashtuesday

It's one of those days I just want to scream bloody murder at my husband. I know it's 98% hormones because his offenses are minor, but dear God am I struggling to keep my cool!

kosmo86

@ashtuesday - I get this way too! DH just deals with it, he knows I am hormonal and exhausted. You have to carry a baby. They have to deal with the insanity around it. 

So today is our ultrasound appt. With the issues we had a couple weeks ago I have been so anxious. I bought a doppler last week the first 3 days I heard nothing (which i know can be expected bc it is still early). But yesterday I heard the heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So much less anxious about it now. YAY

MRDCle

@kosmo86 hope you have a fab US today! Awesome about the HB.
@ashtuesday ugh hopefully he stops offending and you can relax some.

I went to a reunion type deal at my alma mater this weekend.  I was only there one night but 1) holy eff I cannot stay out late this pregnancy (last time I could DD till bar close and be fine) and 2) wowww my patience for some people I used to spend a lot of time with has REALLY diminished. So glad I only went one day, ha. But the people I DID want to see were totally great.  Overall a good time though I'm STILL wiped out.

Oh! And I finally have gained weight vs. losing this pregnancy - my nausea was better almost all weekend! Woo!

lyse01

Last night I nursed DD after she faceplanted and MIL made a snide comment about her associating food with comfort and having lifelong eating issues 🙄 (see last week’s Randoms for an expanded version). 

I found the correct google term (“breastmilk analgesia”) and for anyone else who needs to fight back on people commenting about their parenting choices, texted her the following this morning (attempt at spoiler because it’s long and wonky formatting): 

Follow up to the comfort nursing thing: 

https://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/illness-surgery/bf-analgesia/

There is clear evidence that breastmilk contains analgesics, as nursing during painful procedures significantly reduces pain indicators and severity of pain, and that breastmilk as a substance far surpasses sweet liquid and skin-to-skin only as pain relief. These studies are primarily conducted in controlled environments like maternity wards and therefore only look at neonates. However, anecdotal evidence shows that the effect extends to all breastfeeding children.

https://www.academia.edu/14158829/Parent_use_of_food_to_soothe_infant_toddler_distress_and_child_weight_status._An_exploratory_study

There is also evidence that using food to soothe a distressed infant/toddler leads to higher BMI. However, these studies don’t separate pain specifically from other distress.

Parenting advice therefore draws from both camps. Those concerned about the etiology of obesity recommend avoiding comfort nursing. Breastfeeding advocates recommend not worrying about comfort nursing as it helps baby feel safe and secure, and baby self-regulates intake.

In DD’s case, we are not worried at all about her weight, comfort nursing is fairly limited (and she refuses the breast if she isn’t hungry), and the breast is only offered if other soothing isn’t working (like last night). She stopped feeding when she was soothed. I’m not worried about it.

kosmo86

@lyse01 MIL are assholes. There are lots of dependency things kids have that they grow out of. DD has a pacifier. She only gets it at night but when she falls or gets hurts she asks for it. Or she needs me to hold her. Kids have comfort items (or food) its normal.

lyse01

@kosmo86 mine has her own eating issues that she projects on DD. DH has to talk to her about it at least once a month. 

thatbaintforbetty

I accidentally put my underwear on inside out(because I got dressed in the dark) and just discovered it when I went to the bathroom. DH thinks this is the funniest thing ever. 

mrstmoose

My coworker mentioned a biscuit and all I can think about is how good a biscuit from McDonald's with butter and honey would be.

MRDCle

Oh yaaay. My doctor's office just called and told me I have to do a 24 hour urine catch to get a baseline reading for future pre-e testing. How fun   

MRDCle

@thatbaintforbetty I do that more often than I'd like to admit. 

lovelybabybumpz

@thatbaintforbetty
I've done this....only to realize at the very end of the day.

professormama

@lyse01 your MIL would drive me crazy!! Nursing for comfort has zero ZERO connection to emotional eating. Ugh. And btw, I say this as someone who hated breastfeeding. I did it for 17 months, but avoided comfort feeding when humanly possible because I hated it so much. But zero percent because of issues with emotional eating!!! What a dumb uneducated comment. 


Im trying a new work strategy today. Time blocking out tasks. Break is over... time to write. wish me luck... 

BarefootContessa

@professormama good luck. What field are you in?

@lyse01 your MIL sounds like a peach. Sorry. Good for you for standing up to her. I would just fester with resentment and never confront her.

@kosmo86 have a great ultrasound!

This is a week of huge deadlines for me at work. The weather is absolutely AMAZING here... and I have ZERO energy. I'm just praying for that second trimester energy to hit. I NEED IT.

lyse01

@professormama @BarefootContessa I definitely vent here more than I express appreciation for her taking DD for fifteen minutes while I put the groceries away or whatever. But it drives me batty when she criticizes parenting choices I’ve researched and made. And I frequently fester with resentment and explode at DH when he asks why I can’t just get along with her. Like it’s that simple.

@professormama good luck with time blocking!

@thatbaintforbetty there’s like a 5% chance of that happening on any given day.

molecularmolly

@thatbaintforbetty I think I did one better (and it was light when I got dressed...); Yesterday I realized in church I had my cardigan on inside out. Yup lol.

I'm so exhausted guys, I'm starting to wonder if this is depression combined with pregnancy? I see my psychiatrist and midwife and counselor this week so I'll get their opinions, but seriously. I have been sleeping for 12-14hrs at night plus taking a 2 hr nap everyday, and still usually barely have the energy to do much :-/. We're considering looking into Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation so that I can hopefully feel better and get off these meds more easily 3rd tri.

chrissdee

I had an eventful weekend. I'm going to **TW** this just in case, with the caveat that we thankfully have a very positive outcome. 

We had a scared this weekend and I thought I was miscarrying. On Thursday evening I began bleeding very heavily and passing several large clots. I was terrified. I'm so thankful that my husband was home (usually he'd still be at work at the time it began, but he's on his annual mandatory leave from the post office). He immediately called his mom, who lives less than 10 minutes away, and asked if she would pick up DD and keep her for the night until we knew what was going on while I attempted to reach the on-call OB. 
Once MIL had picked up DD, and I hadn't heard back from the OB yet, H decided he was taking me to the ER. On the way there, I finally got a call back from the OB, who advised me that I could go to the ER if I wanted to but didn't necessarily need to unless I was saturating a pad in an hour or getting lightheaded/passing out. She told me that regardless, I needed to come into her office first thing in the morning for an ultrasound and a rhogam shot. So we turned around and went back home for the evening. I decided that I was going to attempt not to panic and hope for the best, even while trying to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the worst.
I was still bleeding fairly heavily the next morning, although it was lighter than before. I went to the OB office and they immediately took me back for an ultrasound. I am so relieved thankful to say that we immediately saw a very active, wiggly baby with a strong heartbeat of 175 bpm and measuring right on track!! 
I learned that I was experiencing a subchorionic hemorrhage, which is apparently very common but usually just gets reabsorbed by the body. Because this hemorrhage was located pretty low and close to the cervix, I ended up passing it instead. This was definitely the best case scenario for the amount of bleeding I experienced. I never experienced something like that with my first pregnancy, and I didn't really know this was a thing.

lyse01

@chrissdee hooray for positive outcomes! I would never have heard of that if it weren’t for these boards.

@molecularmolly that definitely seems excessive and warrants an opinion by a medical professional. Are you getting a balanced diet? I have a vague recollection that anemia can cause fatigue too, but am too lazy to google to check Good luck!

MRDCle

@chrissdee I'm glad everything is OK!

ashtuesday

@kosmo86 Yay for hearing a hearbeat!!

@chrissdee Holy cow, what a scary experience!  I'm so glad you and LO are doing okay!

mermaidca

@ashtuesday I'm feeling that way towards my mother and I feel terrible about it.  This weekend we all got together and I know she's trying to be helpful, but she's in everyone's business and I say DD isn't hungry but she offers her food about 8 more times and pisses her off.  I'm trying to help other DD because she peed her pants and mom is saying "Hey, I didn't get a hug!"  Yea, she's covered in pee.  Give me a sec.  My kid will ask me a question and my mom will answer.  She's just trying to be helpful but I'm about to snap.

@kosmo86 Hooray.  I want a doppler so bad!!!  Trying to talk myself out of ordering one all day every day.
@chrissdee I'm so glad for a great outcome.  That would be so scary!
@molecularmolly Hope you get something that helps!  It is absolutely no fun to feel that way.

happymoni21

@molecularmolly

Hugs.

I was struggling with depression before I got pregnant and while it lifted a bit when I found out, it's since returned with a vegence. Like you, I am having a hard time teasing apart normal pregnancy fatigue from my depression.

I hope your appointments go well! I have an appointment with a psychiatrist at the end of the month and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation is one of the treatments my family doctor wants me to look into.

midwestmommy90

@kosmo86 Glad you got the heartbeat!! I’ve been trying every few days and no luck yet. 
@chrissdee How scary, but so happy it turned out okay! 
@ashtuesday My hormones are out to get my husband as well! Ugh, these moods suck! 
@MRDCle I had to do a 24hr urine for the same reason 2 weeks ago. There was something about keeping a jug of pee in my refrigerator that made me feel more nauseous. 🤢


This week I’m really struggling to find my balance of wrangling my toddler, doing my online projects, and attempting to pick up shifts at work. I’m hoping once my fatigue is better that I will get in a groove, but right now I’m not working at all. I need to pick up some shifts though, fingers crossed all these symptoms subside by next week and I will want to work. 

blueberrymomma

Since I just need to vent about today; 
My phone comepeltely lost service today. Won’t connect to the Verizon network. So I drove 20+min to the Verizon store and they told this is a common problem and they need to replace my SIM card. Ok cool, but they needed one of the head people on the account to approve it(it’s a company account with the blueberry farm) So I say lll call grandpa and the lady told me they needed in person approval or email approval(grandpa doesn’t have email). BTW we have always used phone approval in the pass for phone upgrades or changes to the plan.  I left in tears(stupid hormones) and drove 20’min to the farm, got my husband, and drove back(I couldn’t call him since my phone didn’t work!!!). I ended up waiting in the car becaue DS had fallen asleep and DH went inside. The same lady who helped me a) let DH call for approval (no email) and b) said the SIM card wouldn’t work that they needed to order me a new phone! THE SAME PERSON treated my husband completely differently from me within 45 min of seeing her!!!! So now I have no phone till sometime tomorrow and I’m emailing corporate because my hormones are raging about it
On the funny side DH came home from work and told me this was the first time he’s seen my crazy pregnancy hormones surface lol. 

professormama

@blueberrymomma I don’t blame you for being mad. It might be coincidence... but I smell sexism! 

I had a long / productive / busy day. Time block schedualing worked well. But now I’m freaking exhausted. And I have a stack of nearly 200 exams with short answer questions that need grading. Seriously doubt I’m even going to start on that tonight. I’m thinking leftover pizza, because I gagged trying to eat the healthy dinner my husband made, and a bath with cheesy TV on my laptop. 

kangstadt

@molecularmolly, I definitely agree that it can be hard to determine what is "normal," pregnancy fatigue and what might be depression symptoms.  I've been having the same issue, sleeping 9-10 hours a night and still needing a 1-2 hour nap by 1pm to make it through my evening shifts.  I know that some of that is due to my depression and some just seems to be extreme fatigue, more than I had with my first kiddo.  I hope your doctors have some good suggestions for you to help .

lilpotatomama

I caved. I ordered a Doppler today. 🙈 I’m going to try my best to only use it once a week. I have a very uneventful month or so without an appointment and I hope this will be comforting and not anxiety including. 

Edited to add more. 

kaitykins

I spent the evening yesterday and day today cleaning the floors and other items the dog walked on with 💩 in her foot. Gag. Thankfully hubby did most of the terrible stuff. And the carpet cleaner stuff. 

I’m 11 weeks today and really ready for that 12 of next week. 

lyse01

Reasons not to do a gender reveal...

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/border-patrol-agent-pleads-guilty-starting-wildfire-fire-gender-reveal-n915441?cid=sm_npd_nn_fb_ma

kosmo86

So my appointment yesterday went well!! 
Baby is measuring 10W4d (@ 10w3d)  with a heartbeat of 174! 

The issue was that my doctor sent me to a radiologist for this appt and we got to see very little. So if there was anything else wrong with the ultrasound she could not tell me (we couldn't even see the screen) but she did show us the baby for a minute at the end. but we didn't even get a picture! so fustrating. 

My follow-up appt is Friday so after that I should be in the clear! 

BarefootContessa

@kosmo86 That's frustrating, but a relief all the same?

kosmo86

@BarefootContessa - yep we are relieved for sure! but there are still some outstanding questions so hopefully we can get some answers soon! This has been a tough 3.5 weeks! 

squirttheturtle

Question for STMs (or anyone really who might know):

I have frizzy hair and in the summer can get away with the scrunchy-gel look but in the winter, my hair just looks flat and limp.  I wanted to get a blowout (Brazilian or Keratin) but I can't find if it's safe (let alone if it would even take because of hormone changes).  Just wondering if anyone has done a chemical process (ie perm or blowout)?  

I will discuss with my doctor at my next appointment.  Obviously,  if she says no, I'll follow doctors orders.

Piccola1988

@molecularmolly I'm not sure if this helps at all, but I don't suffer from depression and I was extremely tired regardless of how much sleep I got my last pregnancy (I'm exhausted now but I have a kid keeping me up so it's not the greatest case study).  I was probably getting 10-12 hours most nights, plus taking naps, and at least in the first trimester I never once felt rested.  It sounds like it can be hard to tell the difference, so hopefully your doctors can help you out with some answers.

ysotte

@squirttheturtle It depends on the product they use. Some of those products contain chemicals that would be bad for baby. I would talk to your stylist and ask them what product they use so you can get an okay from your doctor.

kosmo86

@squirttheturtle - it really depends on the product but even if safe most recommend waiting until your into the 2nd tri before doing things like dying hair. 

kosmo86

June board opened up! It feels like another milestone when I new board opens lol 

rennie1108

@squirttheturtle I agree with @ysotte I spoke with my hairstylist before I got pregnant, and she switched me over to a more natural hair dye. I don't know about blow outs, though, and I'm still waiting until the second trimester to get my hair died. I have SO many grays! And 2nd trimester begins Friday for me, so you know I have an apt for a dye next week lol.

mermaidca

@squirttheturtle I remember hearing or reading not to do the keratin blowout while pregnant but I can't for the life of me remember where.  Hopefully your stylist has answers for you!

blueberrymomma

@squirttheturtle I can’t tell you becaue I’ve never had a blowout before. But I can say that my hair doesn’t hold highlights as well
when I’m preganant. I don’t get the beautiful pregnancy hair. My normally thick wavy hair turns limp and thin. I depend on dry shampoo and buns lol 

MRDCle

kosmo86 said:

June board opened up! It feels like another milestone when I new board opens lol 

Oh! I feel the same way. I wonder if they'll be as entertaining as May!

harveyisaboysname

@blueberrymomma oh hell no! I don’t fuck with that sexism shit. I would have marched my ass in there and flopped my dick on the table. 

I actually just just went off on my mother because she told me I should be thankful thag DH got up in the morning on Sunday and sat on the couch with DS as she ate her breakfast. Like wtf? I literally do everything that involves DS and never heard her once tell him that he should be thankful. I will happily walk around with a giant dildo if that’s what matters