@hannahbananas11 - Allergies are basically a form of man flu in my experience. Your tolerance for man flu goes way down when you become a mom - And I strongly believe that you become a mom when you get pregnant.
@hk0219 yes, meditation works for some, but someone who is going through a serious depression and has been depressed through their entire life has probably already heard that. Your own words were, "and to just be happy," I guess in case what your "mum" said about depression babies turned out to be true? it all just sounded very simplified to me. Again, from what I read in her post, she wasn't asking for tired advice. What you said was very simple advice for a very complicated problem, to the point that it was insulting, as others agree.
For all those who said they have not told they are pg, right there with you. We have not told any member of either of our families and I am 12 weeks and have had three scans already!
for @cmjenkies- I am so sorry you are feeling this way and there is no shame in reaching out for help. I have been in therapy on an off since the miscarriage I had before I had my son two years ago and am in regular therapy now. You are dealing with two of the biggest stressors in life together right now. That is a load!
@hk0219 yes, meditation works for some, but someone who is going through a serious depression and has been depressed through their entire life has probably already heard that. Your own words were, "and to just be happy," I guess in case what your "mum" said about depression babies turned out to be true? it all just sounded very simplified to me. Again, from what I read in her post, she wasn't asking for tired advice. What you said was very simple advice for a very complicated problem, to the point that it was insulting, as others agree.
Also,depression isn’t something you can just “force” yourself to get out of.
Exactly, @LuLiLaEv. I don't know about you, but I can't force myself to feel any certain way on just a short term, day-to-day emotion level, I doubt one can just happy themselves out of a serious depression. It'd be great if it were that easy.
@cmjenkies something to help is meditation. It calms your mind down. 10mins a day would do wonders. I'm not sure how much of this saying is true, but my mum says what you feel it might effect the baby and to be happy. It's hard, but once you force yourself to take steps to get out of it you will get there. 'Ke sera sera, whatever will be will be' i send your baby good vibes. Hugs gurl..
Yeah, this is insulting to anyone who struggles with mental health issues. You wouldn't tell someone with a broken leg or cancer to "get over it and feel better". Meditation, while a coping mechanism, doesn't help with chemical imbalances in the brain. For me, meditation actually makes my OCD (and depression if I'm struggling with it worse). Medication is the only thing that calms my mind down.
I don’t even mind the suggestion of meditation, it’s the whole “que será será” and (this is paraphrasing) saying you’re gonna hurt your kid for struggling with a mental health issue that makes my blood boil.
I struggled bad with anxiety and PTSD when pregnant with DD and she’s fine. I was medicated with DS and my anxiety was under control. He’s also fine.
It’s actually cortisol levels you need to be worried about and even that, you’d have to have sky high insane levels that are beyond what anxiety/depression would cause. Like an adrenal gland problem is usually the cause of levels high enough to cause a problem.
Guys, forget about meditation AND medication. I don't know if any of you are aware of it, but you can totally cure depression really easily. This foolproof method works 100% of the time, and it's so simple I can't believe more people aren't doing it. Plus, it won't hurt your baby! All you need is worm.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Guys, forget about meditation AND medication. I don't know if any of you are aware of it, but you can totally cure depression really easily. This foolproof method works 100% of the time, and it's so simple I can't believe more people aren't doing it. Plus, it won't hurt your baby! All you need is worm.
When in doubt, the answer is worms. It’s always worms.
@kayjay44 It is literally one of the biggest pet peeves I have as a therapist. SO many times other family members come into a session and say things like "They're just always so negative. They need to stop thinking about that stuff and be happy." OH OKAY I guess I missed that lesson in my decade of work in mental health. Got it.
Guys, forget about meditation AND medication. I don't know if any of you are aware of it, but you can totally cure depression really easily. This foolproof method works 100% of the time, and it's so simple I can't believe more people aren't doing it. Plus, it won't hurt your baby! All you need is worm.
Totally read all you need is worm in the Beatles tune.
Thanks for the love and laughs, bump frands. It’s actually ironic, I preach self care to my patients and their caregivers and advocate for the importance of integrating mental health care into our interdisciplinary treatment plans, but I just am not a good patient. I am prescribed Zoloft (quit when I became pregnant and my OB put me back on it a month ago but I still haven’t started taking it consistently yet because I got sick and just now started being able to stomach any meds/vitamins other than my phenergan) but I’m not taking it right now, and I don’t respond well to professional talk therapy so it has been many years since I’ve explored that avenue. I have a hard time taking the time out of my life to take care of me.
I do think that guided imagery/meditation can be beneficial as stress relief tools, but they are not a cure-all for clinical depression, and it is not healthy or advised to expect someone with a chemical brain imbalance to “just get over it” so to speak. I don’t think that was the intent of that comment though, so consider this a friendly *the more you know* tidbit.
Oh and @grebretso I saw babe today on the little hand held US thingy that my office now has, and am pleased to say that it looks more human than it does worm.. for now.
(Unless those wiggly arms and legs were actually multiple worms, )
Dreading work tomorrow because I have to clean out the fridge and it’s super gross. It’s the receptionist’s job, but the new receptionist doesn’t “feel comfortable” doing it due to her sensory sensitivity issues, so I have to. And yes, this is the same person who basically took two days off for a therapist appointment. Fucking millennials.
(Full disclosure: I am also a millennial.)
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@grebretsoAs a millennial, it is the actions of a few that make us all look bad! It drives me insane. @hannahbananas11 First sour gummy worms are delicious and I had some sour gummies as a snack the other day when my family left me and napping DD alone at Hershey Park. Why can't they make the prenatal vitamin gummies sour as well .
Also the whole sick leave thing in my office drives me bonkers, I wish I could use my sick leave when DD is up through the night because she is getting her molars, or when I am crapping my brains out (sorry TMI) because my digestive system is giving me a big FU during this pregnancy, but since I don't get any maternity leave and I plan on having 4 children, every hour of leave is so precious. So when I am acting manager and someone says they need to take sick leave because they have a hangover I get a little angry.
@grebretso that is bullshit. You should see if you can get another coworker (preferably male ha!) to clean it out. It’s probably mostly their crap anyway!
@allthingsgo and @grebretso, at my work, it's always the women who clean out the fridge. When we suggested a man clean out the fridge, he said "I'd feel uncomfortable doing that." No shit. Who wouldn't? Clean it out anyway. I think a rule should be instated at all workplaces: if you store something in the fridge, no matter how high-ranking you are or what gender you are, you're added to the rotation of cleaning it out.
In regards to the mental health discussion, I truly feel that the reason there is such an epidemic in untreated/poorly treated mental health issues in the US is because it is treated and viewed largely as a ‘mind’ issue and not a medical illness. This makes some people ashamed and afraid to seek help bc they feel they should be able to just get over it if they had that strength of will.
But this isn’t true. It is a medical issue that needs medical attention to treat just like any illness such as cancer, infections, a broken limb etc. I think if our society’s mindset is changed to treat someone who has a mental illness as someone who has a medical condition such as cancer, it will go a long way in changing the stigma around mental health. This ultimately will lead to more people getting the help they need and also talking more openly about it.
That being said, my older brother suffered from major depression and alcoholism (which eventually lead him to take his life) and I also suffer from anxiety. I know personally how hard mental illness can be and how misunderstood it is so I truly feel for others who suffer as well.
@cmjenkies- thanks for sharing more about your struggle. There are so many of us with anxiety and depression issues, including in pregnancy, and we should not be in the closet! Xoxo
@allthingsgo - I’m sorry to hear you’re also a suicide survivor. TW- My brother took his life five years ago next month. I’m dreading hitting the five year milestone.
I completely agree that we have a major problem in this country when it comes with acceptance and treatment of mental health disorders.
@grebretso - I am always bitching about millennials despite being one - I’m an old lady in a 30 year old’s body. I guess I’m an old soul.
Also, why did she take a job where that’s a responsibility if she can’t do it? That’s stupid.
Right?! All job positions have stuff you’d rather not do, but you still do it because it’s your job. No need to be a prissy princess. It’s also super selfish to offload something on someone else because you think it’s gross. Do you think it’ll be any less gross for the other person? I’m totally an old lady in a (almost) 30 year old’s body too.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Re: mental health. Totally agree with all of you. It’s bonkers that once the issue is in the brain, it’s somehow not viewed as a health issue, but an attitude problem or whatever. I know so many people who struggle, and it’s so hard to get proper professional help as well as understanding from people around you. Hugs to all of you.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@kayjay44 I’m very sorry to hear that, *hugs* to you. Being a survivor of suicide is especially hard. We just had the 13 year anniversary for my brother’s passing. The pain is always there but I can tell you it does get more bearable with time but I definitely understand dreading those milestones.
Trying to figure out if your kid has poop or peanut butter on his hands is a delicate calculus on the best of days, but on days like today it’s a job I leave to the dog. Sorry pupper.
Trying to figure out if your kid has poop or peanut butter on his hands is a delicate calculus on the best of days, but on days like today it’s a job I leave to the dog. Sorry pupper.
I err on the side of caution and assume poop. Wipes for everyone!
Trying to figure out if your kid has poop or peanut butter on his hands is a delicate calculus on the best of days, but on days like today it’s a job I leave to the dog. Sorry pupper.
I err on the side of caution and assume poop. Wipes for everyone!
Update: it was peanut butter. There is a god.
I always err on the side of poop as well. When I was DS’s age (18 months) I walked up to my mom after eating a chocolate donut with something brown on my finger. She was on the phone and (as moms do) just licked my finger. It was not chocolate.
Sitting in bed in my dark hotel room while eating fig newtons & listening to the sounds of snores from my mom, husband, and kids. Family vacation. #blessed
Well I think my toddler is gonna transition into a big boy bed. We’re repainting his crib so he slept in a pack n play for his nap yesterday. Last night he climbed out and ran over to his crib mattress on the floor. After about an hour of coaxing and snuggling, he fell asleep on the mattress and stayed in bed all night! He woke up about 7 this morning and ran right into our room and climbed in bed with us! Was NOT ready for him to be in a big boy bed, but I guess now is as good a time as any?
Well I think my toddler is gonna transition into a big boy bed. We’re repainting his crib so he slept in a pack n play for his nap yesterday. Last night he climbed out and ran over to his crib mattress on the floor. After about an hour of coaxing and snuggling, he fell asleep on the mattress and stayed in bed all night! He woke up about 7 this morning and ran right into our room and climbed in bed with us! Was NOT ready for him to be in a big boy bed, but I guess now is as good a time as any?
We're going to be transitioning our 19m old to a bed next month and I'm nervous because she's such a great sleeper. I just want to give her plenty of time to get used to it before the baby comes. I also don't want her to think he's stealing her bed Haha.
Our RainbowBaby H arrived at 37 weeks on 12/20/16!
Baby E arrived at 37 weeks on 01/31/15!
Married my Marine 05.23.14
*TW* TWIN LOSS 7.2.15 BFP 9.7.15 CP BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16 BFP 10.14.17 CP BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
My two year old loves her crib so much, I’m in no hurry to switch her yet. We are moving next weekend so I think once we’re settled in the new place we may try it.. by Christmas time
Re: Weekly Randoms (w/o 7/30-8/6)
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
for @cmjenkies- I am so sorry you are feeling this way and there is no shame in reaching out for help. I have been in therapy on an off since the miscarriage I had before I had my son two years ago and am in regular therapy now. You are dealing with two of the biggest stressors in life together right now. That is a load!
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
It’s actually cortisol levels you need to be worried about and even that, you’d have to have sky high insane levels that are beyond what anxiety/depression would cause. Like an adrenal gland problem is usually the cause of levels high enough to cause a problem.
#science
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I do think that guided imagery/meditation can be beneficial as stress relief tools, but they are not a cure-all for clinical depression, and it is not healthy or advised to expect someone with a chemical brain imbalance to “just get over it” so to speak. I don’t think that was the intent of that comment though, so consider this a friendly *the more you know* tidbit.
(Unless those wiggly arms and legs were actually multiple worms,
I don't eat weird shit/junk food because I "crave" it as much as it's because that's the only thing my stomach won't upchuck.
Nesting is done because gross shit and clutter irritates me 10x more when I'm pregnant, not because I'm idly cleaning "for the baby."
And so on. Pregnancy is way too glamorized to the general public. Still.
(Full disclosure: I am also a millennial.)
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Also, why did she take a job where that’s a responsibility if she can’t do it? That’s stupid.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
@hannahbananas11 First sour gummy worms are delicious and I had some sour gummies as a snack the other day when my family left me and napping DD alone at Hershey Park. Why can't they make the prenatal vitamin gummies sour as well
Also the whole sick leave thing in my office drives me bonkers, I wish I could use my sick leave when DD is up through the night because she is getting her molars, or when I am crapping my brains out (sorry TMI) because my digestive system is giving me a big FU during this pregnancy, but since I don't get any maternity leave and I plan on having 4 children, every hour of leave is so precious. So when I am acting manager and someone says they need to take sick leave because they have a hangover I get a little angry.
I think a rule should be instated at all workplaces: if you store something in the fridge, no matter how high-ranking you are or what gender you are, you're added to the rotation of cleaning it out.
But this isn’t true. It is a medical issue that needs medical attention to treat just like any illness such as cancer, infections, a broken limb etc. I think if our society’s mindset is changed to treat someone who has a mental illness as someone who has a medical condition such as cancer, it will go a long way in changing the stigma around mental health. This ultimately will lead to more people getting the help they need and also talking more openly about it.
That being said, my older brother suffered from major depression and alcoholism (which eventually lead him to take his life) and I also suffer from anxiety. I know personally how hard mental illness can be and how misunderstood it is so I truly feel for others who suffer as well.
I completely agree that we have a major problem in this country when it comes with acceptance and treatment of mental health disorders.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I always err on the side of poop as well. When I was DS’s age (18 months) I walked up to my mom after eating a chocolate donut with something brown on my finger. She was on the phone and (as moms do) just licked my finger. It was not chocolate.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
*TW*
TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
BFP 9.7.15 CP
BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
BFP 10.14.17 CP
BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18