I have fb but might break fb rules and make another account to keep the bump separate from personal life. Heck I don't talk about crazy family, dinosaurs, and blow job's with anyone who knows who I am, but maybe my Dr! I voted for after the babies are born. We can share our birth stories on here and copy them to fb with a picture of our babies if we want to share pictures.
Re: the infamous catfish: there was a girl on J14 who was one of the more “popular” members who developed a whole story about how she was in a same sex marriage and she and her wife had three or four other kids already and she would post pictures of herself and the kids and everything. Some time after all the babies were born on our board, a bunch of other girls did some digging because of some questionable things she said and found out that she had stolen her pictures/identity from some girl in Sweden I believe. They managed to hunt down the actual catfish girl and I think she was some teenager. You can still find the thread over on J14 where they revealed it I think, although most of the users were banned. The whole thing made me so much more cautious about what I post publicly.
TTC History
Me: 35 DH: 34 Married 07/2012 DD born 07/2014 DD2 born 10/2018 DS born 10/2022
IF history: TTC #2 since January 2016 June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018 FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
That is just so creepy and weird to me. I would never think in a million years that someone would want to catfish a pregnant lady or someone with kids. I kind of understand the whole online dating catfish because you might want to feel wanted or attractive and develop a sexual relationship with someone online. And there is a lot of lonely people out there. But what is the point of doing it to someone with a family? Like that teenager would have to do some serious research to know how to talk about pregnancy, labor, children etc. Just doesn't make sense WHY they would do that. It boggles my mind.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
Also, I should add when my S16’group moved over to FB in late July (bc the first of our group was born at 28 weeks) some people didn’t feel comfortable coming over right away (maybe three people?) so they kept in contact with the admin and came over after their babies were born so that’s an option too.
I know an online FB group sounds kind of strange especially to people who have never done it (S16 was my first time having “internet friends”) but it really is so so so awesome. I’m so happy I took the leap of faith and moved over to FB with them or else I’d be missing out on so many friendships for the last almost two years.
I do think, however, that there should be a picture of some kind there, not the general FB no pic pic.
There is a certain irony in the fact that your profile pic appears one of the Bump’s default photos.
However, I do agree that there is no reason any of us should post pictures of ourselves or our kids if we aren’t comfortable doing so. Honestly, since not everyone posts in HBDB, there isn’t any way to verify the picture is of the same person anyway.
I thought of that as I was posting that and almost said something about it. I have tried to change the pic a few times but can’t figure out how to do it on mobile. I don’t ever use the app or a computer. It kind of annoys me that I can’t change it actually - even though there are a few different general pics on here I sometimes can’t tell if I loved something or not because it only shows up as pictures and I have to click the pic to see if it was me or not. Sometimes I think it was somebody else so I love tit it and it resuces the count by 1 so I have re-love tit it.
Later to the poll, but I'm not a fb person. I have it but I'm not very active - as in I log on maybe once or twice a week. I refuse to put it on my phone because your battery dies so fast and I've only ever had software issues when fb was loaded. While TB can be annoying on mobile, it doesn't eat my battery and I've gotten used to it. I don't have an issue with the format. So if we do move to fb... I'll ask to join, but I'll likely be even less involved. Which I know is on the lower end already. So if there's a required participation monthly - at some point I know I'll fail it. I really do like you ladies and I'd love to keep in touch. I don't want to be kicked out because I'm not a fb person.
I have the opposite issue as @Mylitta, TB app is always screwing up and not letting me comment so I’m way less involved than I would like to be. My last BMB moved over after the babies were born and it’s been going great ever since, plus it’s so much easier to participate in.
I'm following whenever we go! I don't know how people did parenting without mama tribes. Like is this normal? I know I've done this a few times but my kid is acting cray, sleep regression, leap? - oh so is everyone else's no need to freak out.
I voted the other day for whenever. I'm over the bump haha. I'm totally understanding of wanting to wait for the babies to get here though.
@missmaehurt I'm having the same issue. I keep getting error messages that I dont have permission to that, be it a love tit or a comment. It's really frustrating and I could and would participate so much more when FB happens.
My vote is for after the babies are born, because i love reading birth stories/announcements. So whatever happens, i will be sticking around that long. And i fully admit i am not always the most active poster on here, so take my vote with a grain of salt
In lurking, it seems like Aug had some drama and split into two FB groups. Super nosey curious as to what happened, but hoping we can avoid this if we do move!
@hellopartyof5 I'm sure we can post birth stories and announcements on either forum, I think for the people who wouldn't be coming over to fb theyd enjoy seeing that we had our little ones and are doing well before we make the switch.
I’m late (like always here) but I’m definitely for moving to Facebook whenever the crowd does. I feel like I can’t keep up as well on the bump platform as I did with my D15 baby. When we moved to a small private group it really brought us closer together and I felt more comfortable sharing pictures and struggles. I still talk with those moms daily and have met several of them in person. I’d love to be more active with you ladies but with a toddler and one on the way, the extra place to check and the technical difficulties responding make it hard. I couldn’t even figure out how to log back into my account for a solid month or two here I hope I’ve been active enough to be remembered when the time comes though!
@hellopartyof5 yeah agreed. Idk about the birth story, but 0% chance I’m posting baby pictures on a public forum. Honestly the more we talk about this the more I want to move to fb ASAP.
@hellopartyof5 yeah agreed. Idk about the birth story, but 0% chance I’m posting baby pictures on a public forum. Honestly the more we talk about this the more I want to move to fb ASAP.
Me too @DunkinDecaf. Plus this app is the worst. Not getting notifications is really obnoxious.
Honestly, even though I hate the app and am planning to join the FB group, I would rather wait until we get to October- even if it isn’t all the way to the end of the month.
We say we will post in both places, but the reality is that after a week or two- everyone will who is planning to use FB will be there not here, and we will be leaving behind some of our regular people just as we are coming to the end of our journey.
Is it really that bad to deal with the Bump for another 12-15 weeks?
I'm happy to be an admin, @DunkinDecaf - HOWEVER...the poll results indicate that the majority would prefer to wait until after October to make the switch.
@sliztee between “whenever” and “before due date” that option actually is a majority, though it’s close. I’m happy to wait until sept 23 if people feel strongly but I’d like to move before the babies are born, and I think enough people feel the same way that it does make sense to make the group before October.
ETA I can’t do math. Whatever. It winds up being like 42 to 43 or something.
I voted for after, but couldn’t we make one sooner and then those that want to join can join and those who want to wait can wait? We’d just have to delay changing it from a private to a secret group for a little bit. As long as enough people would still check in here for a while I don’t see how it would change much.
I voted for after, but couldn’t we make one sooner and then those that want to join can join and those who want to wait can wait? We’d just have to delay changing it from a private to a secret group for a little bit. As long as enough people would still check in here for a while I don’t see how it would change much.
This is an interesting conversation I’m trying to think through while in the car wash line. Ultimately we can’t force anyone to stay here and delay a FB group if they are ready to move. Though the spirit of this seems to be the best way to keep everyone together, which is my go-to mentality, that might not be worth the hassle of this app for some posters, and I need to respect that that is their preference and be okay with this. I think my nature would to try to be active on both groups just to keep in touch with everyone, but who knows how possible or annoyingly redundant that will be over time.
disclaimer: I truly don’t have a perspective bc I am sad we will lose people, regardless. We either lose them now or later, and either way that is sad to me. I’m just sharing the stream of conscience conversation going on in my head right now.
I know I was the one who got this conversation started and I'm very happy to see it so organized and the conversations/ poll provided us with some great insight. I think we should stay until at least October 1st since it seems like there is some regulars that won't be joining FB (makes me sad) I would hate to see them deserted like the poor ladies of August did SOOO early! I'm hoping the people who don't have FB will reconsider for the ability to only talk on the group. I think the redundancy of coming to both sites WOULD be hard and most would give it up.
I agree with a private group to get everyone in that has the secret password then switching it to a secret group. It is good we are trying to figure this out prior to it getting a little more busy in our third trimester.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
I'd follow you guys to FB tomorrow if people wanted, but if there are people who won't be coming, I'd rather wait. As you guys can see, TB is hard for me to get on regularly and I can't say that I would stick around here if we moved over. I would definitely be more active on a FB group tho!
I share the same concerns as @chopchop25 and @chyvie, but mostly I'm nervous that we'll split in two because of redundancy and ease of use (for the FB platform, anyway).
@DunkinDecaf I agree about making a FB group and having people who are comfortable joining whenever it is made (now, in a few weeks?) do so and others going when they want to? I am SO over TB app and it’s non-notification situation!!
@sliztee that’s totally valid. It will almost certainly split the group, but tbh it’s really just a question of now or later and I would rather go before babies start popping up because squish pictures and the internet is creepy.
I totally get that, @DunkinDecaf. If @mamabearcj and @sammierose464 want to assist with the admin roles and we can all come to a conclusion about how to vet individuals, I'm on board to do both platforms.
@sliztee@sammierose464@mamabearcj if all three of you recognize someone as having been around, personally I’m comfortable with them being in the group as we start it initially. We can come up with a system for adding people later if they’re joining once the group is up and running. Maybe you three could just have a private admin chat going on messenger or something where you agree that someone has been around, and then we could do an intro thread on FB where people post a selfie with a pencil and a stick of butter so we know they’re not a crazy catfish face?
eta: also definitely ok with a religious exemption on the picture, I think someone mentioned having a problem with that
I'm good with all of that. I'm really torn about starting now vs Oct. I'd like to go now, but I don't want to abandon anyone who's not ready to go yet.
Re: Statistics 101 - Post Bump Facebooking
Married 07/2012
DD born 07/2014
DD2 born 10/2018
DS born 10/2022
IF history:
TTC #2 since January 2016
June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
I kind of understand the whole online dating catfish because you might want to feel wanted or attractive and develop a sexual relationship with someone online. And there is a lot of lonely people out there.
But what is the point of doing it to someone with a family? Like that teenager would have to do some serious research to know how to talk about pregnancy, labor, children etc. Just doesn't make sense WHY they would do that. It boggles my mind.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I know an online FB group sounds kind of strange especially to people who have never done it (S16 was my first time having “internet friends”) but it really is so so so awesome. I’m so happy I took the leap of faith and moved over to FB with them or else I’d be missing out on so many friendships for the last almost two years.
So if we do move to fb... I'll ask to join, but I'll likely be even less involved. Which I know is on the lower end already. So if there's a required participation monthly - at some point I know I'll fail it. I really do like you ladies and I'd love to keep in touch. I don't want to be kicked out because I'm not a fb person.
@missmaehurt I'm having the same issue. I keep getting error messages that I dont have permission to that, be it a love tit or a comment. It's really frustrating and I could and would participate so much more when FB happens.
I hope I’ve been active enough to be remembered when the time comes though!
We say we will post in both places, but the reality is that after a week or two- everyone will who is planning to use FB will be there not here, and we will be leaving behind some of our regular people just as we are coming to the end of our journey.
Is it really that bad to deal with the Bump for another 12-15 weeks?
Are we a democracy or nah?
ETA I can’t do math. Whatever. It winds up being like 42 to 43 or something.
disclaimer: I truly don’t have a perspective bc I am sad we will lose people, regardless. We either lose them now or later, and either way that is sad to me. I’m just sharing the stream of conscience conversation going on in my head right now.
I agree with a private group to get everyone in that has the secret password then switching it to a secret group.
It is good we are trying to figure this out prior to it getting a little more busy in our third trimester.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
eta: also definitely ok with a religious exemption on the picture, I think someone mentioned having a problem with that
Can we pick a name? Lol