I feel like I recognize most people that post, even somewhat sporadically. I’ve occasionally wondered who somebody was, but I think that’s because we’ve had some new people join. If we have 2-3 admins, between them, they should recognize just about everybody’s screen name.
I like the idea of the FB admins PMing a password to people that request to join because otherwise there isn’t much to stop a random person from claiming they are a regular on the board since all our screen names are public.
we could have a thread on here where people post asking for an admin to pm them the password and if admins don’t recognize the screen name then ask the group if anybody knows them?
@HoosOnFirst I don’t feel like it would need to be a big deal, I just think we need a system so that a bunch of randoms aren’t joining. I think there was a thread where an admin would post someone’s name after they’d messaged and asked to join, and then it was just having people “like” their name/post. That way everyone knew when new people were added, and no random people were over there. Any other suggestions on how to vet people work for me, but I do want there to be a system.
D16 didn’t vote people in or out, per se, but when someone requested to be invited into the group, our admin made a post asking if anyone remembered seeing them participate on TB, and we kinda came to a consensus that way.
Im ok with moving to Facebook but I’m definitely pro waiting a bit. Particularly because I don’t want this board to die right as we are getting to births!
D16 didn’t vote people in or out, per se, but when someone requested to be invited into the group, our admin made a post asking if anyone remembered seeing them participate on TB, and we kinda came to a consensus that way.
This is a better idea. Would probably feel more natural, and would still give the whole group a heads up on a new person joining, and a chance to remind us all who they were if it was someone who wasn’t around often.
Another way to do it would be to start a thread here on The Bump, and as people respond to the thread, the admins of the FB group can vet them and correspond privately (through the Bump) with how to join the FB group.
If there was a rule to judge participation, such as 5 Bump posts in the last three months, then it would be pretty easy for the admins to vet (using the Bump search function) and be impartial.
I’m sure other people may also have ideas on how to do this too.
I don’t think we need to vote people in or out, just set a criteria for participating. Like if you just posted in the intro thread and never anywhere else then you’re a stranger.
I also agree greed with the start out as a closed group then switch to a secret group. The initially people can find the group. For the record admins of a FB group can require people requesting to join the group to answer questions so we could pick some to weed out the strangers.
Also on my last private group, about once a month we did a roll call, and if people didn’t reply within a certain amount of time (maybe 3 days?) we removed them.
I said I'd move with you guys, whenever. But think waiting a little longer isn't a horrible idea. I'm bringing up the end of the due dates, but I'll be in both groups (here and there) regardless. I didn't move to fb with my J16 group, but did move to the private bump group we have for J16. That way whoever doesn't do fb can still feel comfortable sharing pictures etc.
I actually have FB and don't mind being in a private group. FB isn't a thing in the Mennonite circles, but I have one to keep in touch with family and friends, mostly my brothers. I mean unless you were hoping to get rid of me there. I'll keep up with peeps on TB as long as anyone is here one sort of hard to explain thing is we don't have pictures for personal use, but I could do one to verify I'm me, I think.
I'll join a private or secret group on FB with y'all, whatever works for the majority. I have FB open a lot more often than this board, which I sometimes forget about until I'm totally exhausted but can't get off the couch because everything hurts...like right now.
@knottieamusements eh. I guess I just feel weird about only the admins doing it, but I don’t feel crazy strongly about it if everyone else is comfortable with that. Also even though it was just a hypothetical, 5 posts in 3 months would be wayyyy low IMO.
@DunkinDecaf - It could be 10 or 100 or some other specified criteria altogether.
I get the thing about not making the admins do it; honestly, at that point ain’t none of us got time for that shit. Most of us are just going to recognize each other by Bump name anyway, so whoever is in charge of adding people wouldn’t actually need to check.
Mostly, by having a criteria similar to that, it would allow the Admins to let in someone like PrincessandtheGator who isn’t posting frequently, but still part of the community, and kick out drive-bys. At the same time, it would keep out the perception that only the “cool kids” got invited to join the FB group.
*Gulp* I’m starting to feel anxious like in high school having to fit in to get accepted into a group. Shy outcast here. My parents live in my hometown where I went to high school and mention my name if they meet someone who says they were in high school at the same time as me and none of them remember me. With that said I understand and appreciate having a criteria to ensure safety of people joining the Facebook group when coming from a place where we are so anonymous.
im not sure the significance of the “activity points” when you click on someone’s username but that could be helpful in determining if someone was actually an active member here.
@rabtaido1214 don’t be silly you’re around all the time. Definitely when the time comes we’ll have to find a system that doesn’t feel exclusionist though. I’m sure we can find something that balances that with the stranger danger.
+1 to secret/closed FB group and moving later although it doesn't matter to me whether it's before or after babies are here. I probably won't be posting newborn pics on TB due to privacy concerns. Even tho I'm not huge about my digital footprint, Im going to guard my kid's pretty heavily. I think this group is mainly about support to one another though so I will continue to check in here later on. I do like the idea of having push notifications tho especially for when we're all up in the middle of the night at similar hours. May help with my sanity
Like others have said if we have a closed FB group I'd be a lot more active. TB is hard to keep up with especially when busy so I only check it a few times a week depending what's going on in life but I check FB multiple times a day. Because of that I'm also hesitant towards setting voting criteria for letting people in although I do agree there needs to be a way to screen for safety purposes. It sounds like some good ideas were thrown out around PMing, taking pics with usernames, etc.
I think it makes sense to have it be easier to join at the beginning and then like someone else said, start removing people at regular intervals as ppl become inactive. That way you give those who haven't been as active as others due to time/user interface/whatever but who are really interested in connecting a chance to get closer with everyone and if they don't make the effort there then boot em. That's the nice part about FB is the admins have control over the membership unlike here.
@sammierose464 Idk how many newer ppl there are but I wonder about them. (I'm really bad at checking threads that have like 50+ posts since I last opened it and the Introductions thread is nearing 200 for me so I have no idea who joined recently haha.. I'm the worst)
@Jellybelly114 - we’ve had a couple of ladies join in the last month; one or two have posted beyond the introduction thread.
I’m of the opinion that if the only place you have posted is intros, AW ultrasound, or a thread you created for yourself, then you aren’t an active member of the community.
Beyond that? We get into a vast grey area between the people who spend waaaay too much time on here (like me- you guys want me on FB, right? ), and people who have posted a handful of times over the course of their whole pregnancy (they’re the ones we look cross eyed at sometimes when they post, but we search their name realize they have posted a few times, and so we move on without giving them grief).
Thanks for the feedback on my situation. I just didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable by creating a FB just for the group.
I agree on some kind of criteria to determine active members. My last BMB FB group turned into a complete popularity contest and that's why I didn't even bother trying to join. I really don't see that happening with this group though.
The move to FB was the best thing my S16 group ever did. We became so close we actually go to visit each other! FB is SO much more user friendly and to be honest Inhate TB app. I’m down to wait til Sept. to move to FB, but waiting any longer would be a shame since I def loved sharing those first newborn questions/concerns/comments on our FB group!
The move to FB was the best thing my S16 group ever did. We became so close we actually go to visit each other! FB is SO much more user friendly and to be honest Inhate TB app. I’m down to wait til Sept. to move to FB, but waiting any longer would be a shame since I def loved sharing those first newborn questions/concerns/comments on our FB group!
The move to FB was the best thing my S16 group ever did. We became so close we actually go to visit each other! FB is SO much more user friendly and to be honest Inhate TB app. I’m down to wait til Sept. to move to FB, but waiting any longer would be a shame since I def loved sharing those first newborn questions/concerns/comments on our FB group!
100% agree with this.
I’ll just say that my j15 group is the same - we have visits, do FaceTime, etc - but we use a bump private group. So it’s not really the vehicle we use, as much as it is the existence of the smaller group itself.
For the record, I don't think anyone who has expressed concern about not being "invited" is someone I've looked at and said "who are they?".
I agree. Everybody participating on this thread I’ve recognized.
I prefer Facebook to a private group on TB. TB kills my battery for some reason so I have been careful about only coming on when I know I’ll be able to charge my phone again and feel like I’m missing out on a lot of the conversations happening because I’m coming in late.
I’m down with moving to FB but I voted for after babies are born. I also won’t be posting baby pictures on here (my last BMB was July 14 with the infamous catfish) but I think it would be nice for everyone to be able to post their birth stories. Also +1 to private closed group on FB. I was in a moms group on there for awhile and basically anyone could join as long as they had a friend in the group and it got insane after awhile.
TTC History
Me: 35 DH: 34 Married 07/2012 DD born 07/2014 DD2 born 10/2018 DS born 10/2022
IF history: TTC #2 since January 2016 June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018 FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
I’m down with moving to FB but I voted for after babies are born. I also won’t be posting baby pictures on here (my last BMB was July 14 with the infamous catfish) but I think it would be nice for everyone to be able to post their birth stories. Also +1 to private closed group on FB. I was in a moms group on there for awhile and basically anyone could join as long as they had a friend in the group and it got insane after awhile.
I actually have FB and don't mind being in a private group. FB isn't a thing in the Mennonite circles, but I have one to keep in touch with family and friends, mostly my brothers. I mean unless you were hoping to get rid of me there. I'll keep up with peeps on TB as long as anyone is here one sort of hard to explain thing is we don't have pictures for personal use, but I could do one to verify I'm me, I think.
I don't post pictures of myself or my children either anywhere as a religious preference. I think I've maybe gone as far as the back of their heads or tiny feet for my babies. There is a difference in opinions in my faith, some do, some don't. So if showing a photo is made part of the requirements I can say for sure I wouldn't join the group.
I think the comment about posting a pic with your TB name was more so that we could associate your FB name with your TB name. I have no problem with the pic you use being your profile pic, whatever it may be, if you aren’t comfortable with posting a pic of yourself. I do think, however, that there should be a picture of some kind there, not the general FB no pic pic.
I also dont don’t post a lot of pics anywhere, especially recent pics of my kids faces.
Re catfish - we recently had one join our mother’s of multiples FB group. We found out pretty quickly and blocked her, but she was pretending to be pregnant with triplets. It actually happens more often than you’d think that people steal pics of twins/triplets and claim them as their own. For a while it was so frequent mothers of multiples were watermarking their photos with their names across places that would make it really hard to crop out.
@purplegoldfish2 ugh that’s creepy that people would use other people’s photos and call them their own. I just can’t understand why someone would want to do that...
I do think, however, that there should be a picture of some kind there, not the general FB no pic pic.
There is a certain irony in the fact that your profile pic appears one of the Bump’s default photos.
However, I do agree that there is no reason any of us should post pictures of ourselves or our kids if we aren’t comfortable doing so. Honestly, since not everyone posts in HBDB, there isn’t any way to verify the picture is of the same person anyway.
I’m on my last night of babymoon so super late to this thread. I voted to move whenever, but will go along with whatever the group decides.
Has there been any discussion about moving to pro boards as an alternative to the bump and to FB? There’s a way to lock it down and make it private while still allowing a bit more anonymity than FB. Not sure if any of you were on The Knot / The Nest back in the day when there was a mass exodous to proboards. While the larger board isn’t private, some of the local spin offs (like the DC board) are private. Figured I’d toss that out as an option.
@purplegoldfish2 ugh that’s creepy that people would use other people’s photos and call them their own. I just can’t understand why someone would want to do that...
Re: Statistics 101 - Post Bump Facebooking
I like the idea of the FB admins PMing a password to people that request to join because otherwise there isn’t much to stop a random person from claiming they are a regular on the board since all our screen names are public.
we could have a thread on here where people post asking for an admin to pm them the password and if admins don’t recognize the screen name then ask the group if anybody knows them?
Another way to do it would be to start a thread here on The Bump, and as people respond to the thread, the admins of the FB group can vet them and correspond privately (through the Bump) with how to join the FB group.
If there was a rule to judge participation, such as 5 Bump posts in the last three months, then it would be pretty easy for the admins to vet (using the Bump search function) and be impartial.
I’m sure other people may also have ideas on how to do this too.
I also agree greed with the start out as a closed group then switch to a secret group. The initially people can find the group. For the record admins of a FB group can require people requesting to join the group to answer questions so we could pick some to weed out the strangers.
I mean unless you were hoping to get rid of me there. I'll keep up with peeps on TB as long as anyone is here
one sort of hard to explain thing is we don't have pictures for personal use, but I could do one to verify I'm me, I think.
DD 3/15/12
DD 6/3/14
#4 Due 10/26/18!
I get the thing about not making the admins do it; honestly, at that point ain’t none of us got time for that shit. Most of us are just going to recognize each other by Bump name anyway, so whoever is in charge of adding people wouldn’t actually need to check.
Mostly, by having a criteria similar to that, it would allow the Admins to let in someone like PrincessandtheGator who isn’t posting frequently, but still part of the community, and kick out drive-bys. At the same time, it would keep out the perception that only the “cool kids” got invited to join the FB group.
im not sure the significance of the “activity points” when you click on someone’s username but that could be helpful in determining if someone was actually an active member here.
Like others have said if we have a closed FB group I'd be a lot more active. TB is hard to keep up with especially when busy so I only check it a few times a week depending what's going on in life but I check FB multiple times a day. Because of that I'm also hesitant towards setting voting criteria for letting people in although I do agree there needs to be a way to screen for safety purposes. It sounds like some good ideas were thrown out around PMing, taking pics with usernames, etc.
I think it makes sense to have it be easier to join at the beginning and then like someone else said, start removing people at regular intervals as ppl become inactive. That way you give those who haven't been as active as others due to time/user interface/whatever but who are really interested in connecting a chance to get closer with everyone and if they don't make the effort there then boot em. That's the nice part about FB is the admins have control over the membership unlike here.
I’m of the opinion that if the only place you have posted is intros, AW ultrasound, or a thread you created for yourself, then you aren’t an active member of the community.
Beyond that? We get into a vast grey area between the people who spend waaaay too much time on here (like me- you guys want me on FB, right?
I agree on some kind of criteria to determine active members. My last BMB FB group turned into a complete popularity contest and that's why I didn't even bother trying to join. I really don't see that happening with this group though.
I prefer Facebook to a private group on TB. TB kills my battery for some reason so I have been careful about only coming on when I know I’ll be able to charge my phone again and feel like I’m missing out on a lot of the conversations happening because I’m coming in late.
Married 07/2012
DD born 07/2014
DD2 born 10/2018
DS born 10/2022
IF history:
TTC #2 since January 2016
June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I also dont don’t post a lot of pics anywhere, especially recent pics of my kids faces.
Re catfish - we recently had one join our mother’s of multiples FB group. We found out pretty quickly and blocked her, but she was pretending to be pregnant with triplets. It actually happens more often than you’d think that people steal pics of twins/triplets and claim them as their own. For a while it was so frequent mothers of multiples were watermarking their photos with their names across places that would make it really hard to crop out.
However, I do agree that there is no reason any of us should post pictures of ourselves or our kids if we aren’t comfortable doing so. Honestly, since not everyone posts in HBDB, there isn’t any way to verify the picture is of the same person anyway.
Has there been any discussion about moving to pro boards as an alternative to the bump and to FB? There’s a way to lock it down and make it private while still allowing a bit more anonymity than FB. Not sure if any of you were on The Knot / The Nest back in the day when there was a mass exodous to proboards. While the larger board isn’t private, some of the local spin offs (like the DC board) are private. Figured I’d toss that out as an option.