Aww that makes me sad that some people don't feel connected. I love all you ladies and hope we all stay in touch in some way after the LOs are born.
As for it being harder for a STM, I agree a little bit. This BMB is so different than my last, but in the best ways possible. It was super cliquey and I was honestly a little scared to chime in for fear of being flamed. I try and give advice based on my experience when I can, but fear that sometimes it may come off as being a know it all. I don't want all my posts to start it as "with DD I did this" or "With my last pregnancy I felt that." But since high school I've always had bad anxiety around being accepted, so that's just par for the course with me.
I can totally understand the not feeling connected because it's hard to read all the responses AND be able to chime in with a well written response/ or questions. I find myself just trying to keep up with all your responses. However this doesn't mean I don't feel connected it means I feel like I'm sometimes not participating/ contributing as much I would like to. I think this group of ladies is amazing and supportive. I also love that we are so diverse in our backgrounds and can all get a long so well and respect each other's views/ opinions. Every time one of you directs us to the drama threads I feel grateful we aren't dramatic and have to deal with all that extra stress.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie that’s exactly how I feel. I try to respond when I can, sometimes im just lurking and don’t have time to get my thoughts together. I definitely feel connected and I’m sad to hear that this board doesn’t feel that way for everyone. I think we are a welcoming group but I recognize it’s always easier to say that when you feel welcomed.
Oh man I was catching up on Jan and fell behind here!! As for one off threads, I know I've started a handful in what feels like the last week and I usually debate if I should put it in the questions/randoms/specific thread. Since I can't decide I just make a whole new thread about something I think will get a lot of conversation. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. I liked the GTKY posts as well because they're fun but fall down the page relatively quickly.
I think @chyvie said it best sometimes i don't feel like I'm contributing enough or being as apart of the group as I want but I'm trying so hard to keep up and read everything that when I do want to comment on something it's well past that and onto a new topic.
@mamabearcj, @chyvie, et al I think it's interesting to hear many of us feel like we're not here and posting as much as we'd want to / feel we 'should be.' It's insightful. It makes me think we're all being a lot harder on ourselves than anyone else...plus, this is just supposed to be a fun thing! (I think...right?) There are weeks I fall behind and feel bad, but that's life and to be expected with everyone's IRL priorities. It's impossible to keep up on all of the threads - admittedly I skip one or two almost entirely because I can always count on being 60+ posts behind by the end of the week and I don't want to jump in . I know I don't have an expectation for anyone else, so it's making me wonder why I'd hold myself to a certain expectation on contributing sometimes.
I'm grateful for everyone's contributions, as much or as little as possible, because everyone here has a unique story and voice. Especially for the STMs who may not always have as much to receive but still selflessly offer their advice (which I, for one, never take as a 'know it all' @SawyerRichardson - you DO know more than me, so please tell me! )
Wow...That Jan thread. One of my secrets is that I just love me some good drama when I’m not involved!! I binge watch super shitty shows on Hulu when DH isn’t around just to get my drama fix. I’m sure I’m weird but I am so entertained by other people making fools out of themselves.
Thanks for saying what I was thinking, @chopchop25! I think women, in general, tend to take on emotional responsibility in many facets of our lives. It's my hope that you ladies feel supported and as though this BMB is a safe zone for you to drop some of that mom/female guilt!
@chopchop25 ITA. Sometimes it feels like if I haven't commented enough in a week people will forget I exist. But it is funny...the people on here saying they are worried they dont post enough to be 'known', I definitely 'know'
Holy shit balls, the anti-vaxxers. I am so ragey right now.
seriously...trying so hard to not comment...
yes, I'm aware that HPV does not cover all of the strains. In fact, I didn't have the HPV vaccine, but only because it was so new when it was offered to me I wanted more research. It still protects against the few most common strains and those most likely to lead to cervical cancer. I'd probably reconsider it if I wasn't now married and monogamous. I also don't get the flu shot...which would probably change if I had the flu, I'd probably get it going forward.
However, measles is still very common and I don't want my baby who can't be vaccinated against it yet to get it because some person was worried that their kid might have a minor adverse reaction to it.
I LOVE all the STM advice! It is valuable and very much welcomed and appreciated! I know it's got to be hard to take time out of your busy days with kids and all other life aspects to give us long lists of items we need or education on important decisions. I can't even keep up and I work from home and slack on here all the time! LOL Also as I said before I'm still getting used to this talking to strangers via internet and learning on how to write better - I'm more of a talker than a writer! I agree @chopchop25 maybe we are being hard on ourselves when we feel like we don't participate, but all I know is I friggin enjoy my time reading and learning about all the topics we share on here and wouldn't want it to change to the catty drama some other BMB are going through!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@mamabearcj, @chyvie, et al I think it's interesting to hear many of us feel like we're not here and posting as much as we'd want to / feel we 'should be.' It's insightful. It makes me think we're all being a lot harder on ourselves than anyone else...plus, this is just supposed to be a fun thing! (I think...right?) There are weeks I fall behind and feel bad, but that's life and to be expected with everyone's IRL priorities. It's impossible to keep up on all of the threads - admittedly I skip one or two almost entirely because I can always count on being 60+ posts behind by the end of the week and I don't want to jump in .
I agree here. All of you who have said that, I don't feel like that's the case at all.
(Sorry it's easier just to quote and respond in separate posts to separate topics)
Wow, that January thread was just crazy. I can't believe I read all that.
I have to ask about Tdap vaccine. It's not something I hear very much about here in Canada. Fellow Canadians, am I just crazy? My doctor has never mentioned the vaccine, I certainly don't remember getting it during my last pregnancy, and nothing has been mentioned about it for this pregnancy. Is it the norm in Canada to get this vaccine while pregnant? Or even post delivery?
I hadn't heard much about Tdap and pregnancy until getting pregnant. All I knew prior was that I need a booster every 10 years. From what I understand, it's common in your 3rd trimester because of the "p", which protects against whooping cough and passes on some of the immunity to your child. So, if the vaccine is only the Tetanus booster, its not neccessary.
Not sure about Tdap in Canada but I had to get it again before going to China/Taiwan/Vietnam last winter (I can't remember for which country they were saying I needed it.) I think I could have opted for just tetanus, but I didn't see the point in skipping the others. I think I had it once when I was little, too - but we couldn't find the records. I get that things like diphtheria are not common in the US, but with how global this world has become - all it takes is one person in an airport...
I had to have my Tdap done before I could attend grad school in 2015, and it's good for 10 years. Someone on the January board said that you should get a booster regardless of the expiration of your current vaccination when pregnant? I haven't discussed that with my doctor yet, so I'm not sure.
@sliztee I wonder if that's true! My doc hasn't said anything yet, and I just got the shot last Nov/Dec. I hope I don't need it again so soon! (It wasn't painful / didn't cause a reaction, but I'd love to not need it )
You would want the booster while pregnant in your 3rd trimester because it passes on part of the immunity to your baby. That's the key reason to have it while pregnant.
Holy shit that January thread was a doozy. I wasn’t ready for the turn it took with the anti-vaxxers. I seriously just can’t comprehend how those two main anti-vaxxers can justify their opinions.
@sliztee re: my OB last time had me get it during my 3rd tri, even though I had gotten it only 4 or 5 years earlier when my SIL had a baby. My OB this time (at a different practice) also said the same thing to get it in 3rd tri. My understanding is like @sammierose464 said, it’s to pass the immunity on to the baby before they can get their shots.
I thought it was really interesting the one was a nurse and SO anti-vaxx. The other at least is more about delayed, which I can somewhat understand. However, if my kid got measles at an age they could have been vaccinated because I decided to wait I will feel horrible.
I'm so glad I finally had my coffee so I could read the Jan thread. That made my day. Also super glad that I dont forsee people turning on each other like that here.
Back a little late again, but I can understand where people may not feel connected. I know I don’t post a ton, but I try to do my best and I do feel connected to so many of you! I so appreciate all the advice, and I appreciate that our board is relatively drama free. Having a new baby is a very new thing to me so just knowing I’m not alone in that is a huge connection for me personally.
@sammierose464 agreed about the nurse. I also find it curious that she didn’t mention what type of nurse she was, even when specifically asked. The other thing that bothered me was that she mentioned towards the end that she met two of her “IRL” people who had experienced negative vaccine side effects at the candlelight vigil for her cousin’s kid (or whoever it was to her, I can’t remember). I’d bet you dollars to doughnuts that those two people had already experienced their vaccine issues when they went to the vigil, and that was the reason they were there. I may be wrong, but that’s what I’m guessing.
I can't sit with anti-vaxxers. Maybe this belongs in UO or FFFC but I lose all respect for someone when they tell me they're anti-vax, and 9 times out of 10 I also start to question their intelligence.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
It also bothered me how she used her 'im a nurse, I know how to do research' to justify her opinions. Sorry if anyone is offended by this, but doctors and nurses are not the same. Nurses are/can be extremely smart and well read and intelligent, but sifting through dozens of medical journals can be thick and hard for people who are actually trained to do it (doctors and researchers), let alone people who are not trained to do it, and nuances don't always translate well when someone is not trained to read through PPV/NPV, prevalence, study exemptions and why they were exemptions etc...
I agree @kiwi2628. I'm trained in psychology research and writing research articles. Her comment about "looking at the data and not just the conclusion" bothered me. It takes a strong understanding of statistics and research methods to fully understand data presented in an article, graphs can easily be misinterpreted and sometimes purposely distorted, and yes conclusions can be biased. you truly need to dig through articles like that and look at everything from research methods, sample size, sampling methods, data results and the conclusion. And as was pointed out, saying something is statistically significant is great, but there's more to look at (sample size, threshold level, possible study biases and truly overall risk vs rewaed analysis).
Data is my thing. I get geeky over it, which is why my masters is in a related field.
Huh, so I just had a tetanus booster 2 years ago because I sliced my thumb open...i suppose TDAP is still necessary because of the other stuff? (Not anti vax, just don't like taking meds that are needed!)
So I'm not anti-VAX but I do hate getting needles especially ones that inject things into me because of my fear from childhood. I probably way behind on my vaccinations because of this fear. I honestly don't know when the last booster I got was. I never have had the flu shot but also never had the flu so if I have had it I might be more inclined to avoid it!
When we traveled around the world we got some obscure vaccinations for those really bad diseases (can't remember what). I passed out and hated every moment.
I understand that vaccinations are smart and everyone should have them. Especially kids. I wish I wasn't such a chicken. I think after all the medical /needle stuff I have been through this year has hardened me and I might be able finally get a vaccination. I'll talk to my OB next ap
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Randoms 6/9
eta: PSA- if you haven't started reading the Jan UO just skip to page 4!
As for it being harder for a STM, I agree a little bit. This BMB is so different than my last, but in the best ways possible. It was super cliquey and I was honestly a little scared to chime in for fear of being flamed.
I try and give advice based on my experience when I can, but fear that sometimes it may come off as being a know it all. I don't want all my posts to start it as "with DD I did this" or "With my last pregnancy I felt that." But since high school I've always had bad anxiety around being accepted, so that's just par for the course with me.
Every time one of you directs us to the drama threads I feel grateful we aren't dramatic and have to deal with all that extra stress.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I effing love drama thats not related to me.
100%
just lurking and don’t have time to get my thoughts together. I definitely feel connected and I’m sad to hear that this board doesn’t feel that way for everyone. I think we are a welcoming group but I recognize it’s always easier to say that when you feel welcomed.
As for one off threads, I know I've started a handful in what feels like the last week and I usually debate if I should put it in the questions/randoms/specific thread. Since I can't decide I just make a whole new thread about something I think will get a lot of conversation. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. I liked the GTKY posts as well because they're fun but fall down the page relatively quickly.
I think @chyvie said it best sometimes i don't feel like I'm contributing enough or being as apart of the group as I want but I'm trying so hard to keep up and read everything that when I do want to comment on something it's well past that and onto a new topic.
I think it's interesting to hear many of us feel like we're not here and posting as much as we'd want to / feel we 'should be.' It's insightful. It makes me think we're all being a lot harder on ourselves than anyone else...plus, this is just supposed to be a fun thing! (I think...right?)
There are weeks I fall behind and feel bad, but that's life and to be expected with everyone's IRL priorities. It's impossible to keep up on all of the threads - admittedly I skip one or two almost entirely because I can always count on being 60+ posts behind by the end of the week and I don't want to jump in .
I know I don't have an expectation for anyone else, so it's making me wonder why I'd hold myself to a certain expectation on contributing sometimes.
I'm grateful for everyone's contributions, as much or as little as possible, because everyone here has a unique story and voice. Especially for the STMs who may not always have as much to receive but still selflessly offer their advice (which I, for one, never take as a 'know it all' @SawyerRichardson - you DO know more than me, so please tell me!
One of my secrets is that I just love me some good drama when I’m not involved!! I binge watch super shitty shows on Hulu when DH isn’t around just to get my drama fix. I’m sure I’m weird but I am so entertained by other people making fools out of themselves.
yes, I'm aware that HPV does not cover all of the strains. In fact, I didn't have the HPV vaccine, but only because it was so new when it was offered to me I wanted more research. It still protects against the few most common strains and those most likely to lead to cervical cancer. I'd probably reconsider it if I wasn't now married and monogamous. I also don't get the flu shot...which would probably change if I had the flu, I'd probably get it going forward.
However, measles is still very common and I don't want my baby who can't be vaccinated against it yet to get it because some person was worried that their kid might have a minor adverse reaction to it.
Also as I said before I'm still getting used to this talking to strangers via internet and learning on how to write better - I'm more of a talker than a writer!
I agree @chopchop25 maybe we are being hard on ourselves when we feel like we don't participate, but all I know is I friggin enjoy my time reading and learning about all the topics we share on here and wouldn't want it to change to the catty drama some other BMB are going through!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
(Sorry it's easier just to quote and respond in separate posts to separate topics)
I have to ask about Tdap vaccine. It's not something I hear very much about here in Canada. Fellow Canadians, am I just crazy? My doctor has never mentioned the vaccine, I certainly don't remember getting it during my last pregnancy, and nothing has been mentioned about it for this pregnancy. Is it the norm in Canada to get this vaccine while pregnant? Or even post delivery?
I get that things like diphtheria are not common in the US, but with how global this world has become - all it takes is one person in an airport...
@sliztee re: my OB last time had me get it during my 3rd tri, even though I had gotten it only 4 or 5 years earlier when my SIL had a baby. My OB this time (at a different practice) also said the same thing to get it in 3rd tri. My understanding is like @sammierose464 said, it’s to pass the immunity on to the baby before they can get their shots.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Data is my thing. I get geeky over it, which is why my masters is in a related field.
When we traveled around the world we got some obscure vaccinations for those really bad diseases (can't remember what). I passed out and hated every moment.
I understand that vaccinations are smart and everyone should have them. Especially kids. I wish I wasn't such a chicken. I think after all the medical /needle stuff I have been through this year has hardened me and I might be able finally get a vaccination. I'll talk to my OB next ap
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada