July 2018 Moms

Weekday Randoms 5/14-5/18

1356

Re: Weekday Randoms 5/14-5/18

  • @acunamatada glad you didn’t lose power, we also managed to keep our power, we’re lucky in that we share a power grid with the elementary school so we
    often stay on when the rest of the town is out. Apparently most of our town has no power, trees and lines down everywhere, no school, they’re saying power will take days to restore, and they’re assessing whether there was a tornado touchdown in the area. Crazy stuff. I also just read the storm spurred some time of mini tsunami in NJ. Whattt. 
    acunamatada
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  • I cannot get DH on board with a good budget tool. Everyone loves YNAB but I'm not in love with it right now, although I've only spent like, 15-20 minutes setting up the free trial, so maybe I just haven't fooled with it enough yet. The idea of living on income you've already earned sounds cool but I like mint, where everything is easily categorizeable and shows up in your budget. What I hate about Mint is I just spent two hours of my life (last ngiht and this morning) setting up a budget that it turns out is $250 over my monthly income...which is set in Mint....and Mint did not mention this. They just let me set it. This is what I hate about it.

    This is what my husband hates- that we get paid 3 times a month twice a year and none of our budget tools account for this month to month. He thinks any budget tool we use should automatically take into consideration that we will have two months a year where we get 3 pay checks not two so we'll have extra catch up those months. He think we should take that into account by splitting the extra paychecks into 12 monthly payments to add to each month. I think this makes no sense-I currently do the budget in my own spreadsheet per pay period and adding that extra every month to the budget doesn't make any sense...we couldn't spend it, its not there. So its just money in the budget not useable. Why would any budget take that into account? I am not a financial expert by any means but this really doesn't make any sense to me and I am gonna be stuck spreadsheeting my own budget so my husband can say things in his head like, "In November we get three paychecks so I can by beer today, in June." WHAT. It's so frustrating I just want to be on the same page and we aren't.
    gingerbride26
  • acunamatadaacunamatada member
    edited May 2018
    @runsomewhere I saw it. I wanted to like it, I didn’t hate it but it was a little crass for my taste. 
    @gingerbride26 oh no! Glad you’re feeling better! It’s crazy the number of colds going around this time of year, I thought we were out of the woods! 
    @SmashJam I like mint, I never sat down and set up YNAB once I heard you had to input all purchases manually lol. DH’s income changes monthly based on the sales of his restaurant plus he gets his salary 3x a month twice a year just based on how the calander is set up too. I never really know what his bonus check will look like, so I have to lowball and work the budget around it when it comes. When we have extra money coming in it either goes straight to catch up or into savings for when we need it. Splitting it monthly would be so much work! 

    I want to clean to much today. I’ve got a list and I’m going to see how much I can get done. Problem is, the toddler that can’t seem to occupy himself lately. I can’t get 10 minutes without hearing a “moooooooooom” from the other side of the house. 
  • wildtotwildtot member
    @gingerbride26 hope you and your DH feel better soon! 
    @SmashJam i have no experience with either of those tools but yeah i wouldn’t account for it ahead of time. We have the same pay schedule but honestly we forget about most of the time and just see it as extra savings or debt money. You should calculate what you normally get on a regular month since that’s your real month income to live off. 
    gingerbride26
  • @smashjam I hear you on the 2 vs 3 paycheck thing. The thing is, both my H and I are paid every other week, me on Wednesday and him on Fridays. So there are 2 months out of the year where we each get a 3rd paycheck, but they are different months for both of us. He USED to get paid every Friday at his old job, and when that was the case, there were a handful of months where he'd get paid 5 times instead of 4. Honestly in trying to set a budget without taking those extra paychecks into account, it always came up short and we'd be spending more than our monthly income. So I always take the # of paychecks per year, multiply by the amount of the checks, then divide by 12 to get our average monthly income. So I guess I do it the way your husband said. We need that extra money, so we average it and spread it out through  the year. You could pretend those extra checks don't exist when budgeting, and then the months you get them, either put them into savings as a bonus, or use them to pay off debt. That's what I'm trying to do with my husband's bonus checks. He gets monthly bonus/commission, plus annual bonus (I get annual bonus too), and I am trying not to factor those into the budget, and then when they come I plan to use them towards savings or bills/debt as needed. I've yet to  find a budgeting app/tool I really like. I find Mint just takes so much time and effort to use. I haven't tried the other one you mentioned. 
  • older catch-up in the spoiler
    runsomewhere - that is so frustrating when you get stuck between the 2 offices - I'm just doing what y'all told me to!
    @SmashJam I tend to read a lot of YA these days myself - sometimes adult novels rely too much on sex to move plot without having actual plot while YA needs to keep it a bit more plot - though sometimes the teen angst gets to be too much ;-) If you like high fantasy, my favorite series is Green Rider by Kristin Britain - there are currently 6 of them in the series and more expected. Strong female protagonist and amazing use of hints/foreshadowing.
    runsomewhereKatyF0813. DD is a May baby, we mostly hung out on the deck with a lot of shade, went on some neighborhood walks, and didn't go to any major parties until 4th of July anyway.  I def pushed it too fast last time and plan on taking it easier myself RE walking until my hips/pelvis settle down.
    @zande2016 it was crazy last night - moved quickly in our area but we missed the brunt of the path - 2 dead and most people without power in CT
    @SmashJam I like mint - mostly for taxes purposes though.  DH has been a PITA about budgeting for years - right now i'm just letting him do his own rocket scientist thing in excel and staying the F out of it.  His way makes no sense to me and i'm sick of him not liking my way or spending all this time updating it and then no one uses/looks at it.
    @acunamatada thanks.. I was just saying this kid is going to have a monster immune system... i don't remember being this sick with DD... this is my 3rd stomach bug, 2 sinus infections, bronchitis, and I lost track of how many head colds.  Also what is up with the toddlers losing their damn minds!? I'm slightly ahead of DH so I did drop off at daycare last 2 days (while trying not to pass out the whole time) and DD just kept clinging to my legs legit sobbing! This morning she did not want to get out of PJ's and into real clothes either and kept kicking me.
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    zande2016
  • @gingerbride26 wow I didn't hear about 2 dead in CT, I'm in NY but bordering CT, surprised I didn't hear anything on the news/radio. That sounds awful about being sick, I hope this is it for you for the rest of the pregnancy! Stomach bugs are just the worst. Also highly contagious, maybe your daughter was fighting you because she wasn't feeling well? Hopefully she cooperates so you can recover! 
  • So I started my out memo for work yesterday...basically I need to leave a document with the status of where all my cases are at when I go on leave. I'll need to update it weekly until I actually go on leave, but it made it feel so real...probably only 7-8 more weeks to go until I'm out of here! (hopefully never to return but not really counting on that, it's more wishful thinking). It feels so close, and yet still so far when I am struggling daily just to motivate myself to care about work. 
    gingerbride26
  • @zande2016 It was on our radio while i was driving DD to daycare - 2 separate towns, 1 death each....dear god i hope she's not getting it again.... she had it a solid week before us - I'd actually thought we'd made it through without catching it having no idea some stomach bugs can lie dormant for up to 2 weeks... mom friend said to bleach everything because you can get it again but we have not had the energy... I told DH this morning I'm ready to just have MIL go nuts cleaning the house and hang the consequences. I think she just doesn't like when I drop her off...we keep getting photos from the teacher before I even get the mile home that she's smiling and fine...
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    zande2016hillbillywife
  • Thank you @comealongponds@kissableviv

    @runsomewhere that’s actually the one I’m looking at getting! It’s so good to hear from someone who has it! Now I just need to research ikeas shipping. I haven’t heard great things about it so that worries me some.
  • zande2016zande2016 member
    edited May 2018
    @ashbub714 pick it up in person if possible! We have the Hemnes for our son and we brought it home in our Subaru Forester, it fit fine with the back seats down. We recently had to order a futon and changing table online for delivery because our local store was sold out and the futon wouldn't have fit anyway. Well, it was quite a frustrating experience. For one thing, Ikea has NO customer service. I mean you have to wait an hour just to speak to someone, and I tried facebook messaging and emailing since I couldn't wait on hold, and they just never responded to me. Just straight up ignored me. Our issue was we arranged for someone to be home for their 12 hour delivery window (they narrow it to a 4 hour window the day before, but by that point arrangements already had to be made), and even though we had someone home the entire day, it never came and they told us they came, knocked, waited 20 mins, and no one was home so they left. This is just a straight up lie, either they went to the wrong house (unlikely, it's a huge loud truck, my mom would have noticed even if it went to a neighbor's house), or they just lied and never came (btw, they had my phone number but never called me to say they were there and no one was answering the door...I am pretty convinced the company/driver just didn't feel like making the delivery and decided to lie). They contract out to a local delivery company, so experience can vary depending on that company. Anyway, they rescheduled us for a week later, and it was supposed to come between 12 and 4. Then at 3:58, I got a call that they were late and would be there between 4 and 6. No joke, they showed up at 5:58 pm. NEVER AGAIN. 
    gingerbride26
  • Why am I transitioning DD to her toddler bed again?! ugh we currently have to have the other crib mattress up in the hallway to block it off so ahe can't wander in the night until we can get a gate that fits our stairs but she still tries. 

    I know it's necessary but now seeing that we should really take her pacifier away once she thens two (two weeks after baby 2  is born) is giving me major anxiety. I just feel like i am forcing so much change on her at once and I am feeling really guilty about it. 
    April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing


  • @zande2016 @ashbub714 unfortunately too true about local company and depends on location.  We had a pretty ok experience with the kitchen cabinet delivery from IKEA but if you're getting less than 40 boxes I would even recommend borrowing or renting a uhaul/budget truck and just running to the store and back.
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    ashbub714
  • Ugh.... I am so over renos!  Every step of the way there has been a problem.... Nothing huge, but missed electrical outlets, drywalled over the storage space, trim wasn't installed to match the rest of the house, windows were ordered in the wrong size etc etc.  I just feel like at the price we've paid I shouldn't have to hold their hand every step of the way to ensure everything is done to the standards they promised us. So frustrating...  9 weeks until baby and we can't start the nursery until this reno is finished...  Gah. 
    stillcozygingerbride26
  • @lindsayleigh1989 would it be better to start transitioning her off the pacifier before baby 2 comes? Like give her a few weeks to get semi used to her new sleeping arrangements and then take it away so you have some time for her to adjust before baby? Are you being induced/scheduled c section where you know the exact date so you can plan accordingly? I hope she takes the adjustments smoothly, best of luck!
  • amdftwamdftw member
    @SmashJam For what's it worth, when I was pregnant with DS1 and we were trying to get our finances in order to be able to pay for daycare, we started using YNAB.  It is kind of a pain to enter everything and keep up with it (which frankly is why we kind of stopped using it) but we DID successfully get "ahead" by at least a month (aka living on income you already earned) and I completely give YNAB credit for that.  Of course, DH and I had to be good about our spending but knowing that we were sticking to the budget helped keep us accountable.

    I've actually thought about trying to get started with it again because we need to shape up our spending.  We are comfortable with our lifestyle right now but daycare is going to nearly double by the end of the year and it's a little scary!  I haven't had a chance to bring it up to DH though.
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @lindsayleigh1989 I know what they say about the pacifier but I probably wouldn’t rush it. If you can wean her down to at bedtime and nap time I think it will be more helpful for her to self soothe with something she’s already used to than try and get her to figure it out on her own at first with a new baby. 
    gingerbride26
  • ashbub714ashbub714 member
    edited May 2018
    @zande2016 ugh that’s so disheartening to hear. There’s no IKEA anywhere near us so my only option is ordering online. Closest one is 3.5 hours away  :/

    ETA I HATE dealing with time windows for delivery! It’s so rare that they show up at the beginning or even middle of the window and I just get super frustrated with them.
  • Ikea shipping is pretty bad, they are stuck in the 80s. I had to ship some decorations to my in laws for my wedding (there is no Ikea in San Antonio, shocking) and it took almost a month! 

    I'm currently working with a financial advisor and they suggested ynab. I hate it with a passion I think I just don't have the time to set it up correctly and stay on top of it. Our issue is also that we shared all of our accounts and cards, and that means I see everything he buys and vice versa. So it can be an issue with gifts and we do like to keep some privacy with our personal spending since it's such a small part of our overall budget anyways. I think we may switch back to Mint.


  • @SmashJam we use YNAB and I like it well enough.  I'm still getting the hang of it though.  We are new to budgeting (although we should have started years ago) so I'm still learning the best way to go about things.  Maybe it's the bank I use but I can import our transactions so I don't have to input everything manually.  There is a day or two lag though.  I like that you can move money from one category to cover overspending in another because we suck at keeping our dining out category on track lol.  But your DH's thought process doesn't make sense to me either.  I would budget those extra paychecks like @zande2016 said.  Treat them as a bonus and put them in savings or do what you want with them but not until you actually have that money.
    Married 9/19/09
    Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues
    TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
    TTC#1  starting Nov. 2009
    3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui
    TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12 
    TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks 
    Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15.  Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15.  Forever in our hearts.
    TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I've never heard of YNAB.  I don't even like using Mint though, so it's definitely not for me.  DH would probably like it.  

    @lindseyleigh09 - if your gut tells you that you're pushing change on her too quickly, listen to it.  You know her best and what she can handle!  We are about to push our 2 year old into potty training - I think she'll be fine, but my mom said that she never had to with me because once my little brother was born (I was 21 months) I decided that only babies wore diapers and I wasn't a baby.  
    stillcozygingerbride26
  • @zande2016 so I just tried what you did with the average monthly income and it is about $500 over what we actually put in the bank every month. So how does that work for you guys? Do you just budget to keep that extra in the bank every month (like, not spend it at all) or does it wash out by the time your DH's bonuses come? My issue is that if I budgeted for that extra $500 every month, we'd be short, its not actually there, right?  Until like, May and Nov, when it is. So it seems like a waste for me to keep it in, although really no harm done I suppose he never looks at the budget at all so I could just tell him its there. 
  • @lindsayleigh1989 I second what @hillbillywife said, I wouldn’t rush getting rid of the pacifier if you don’t think she’s ready. With a new baby on the way it might be too much change, and the comfort of the pacifier might help with the bed transition. A few extra months isn’t the end of the world. 
    hillbillywifestillcozy
  • @lindsayleigh1989 +1 to the pacifier issues. My son turned two last month and my DH has been pushing the issue of getting rid of the pacifier like crazy. My thinking is that we should wean a little bit but wait until later this summer/early fall to completely take it away. I have a feeling that DS will regress and it will be a terrible time for all of us if I do it right now, with all of these big changes on the way. Same for potty training. 
    hillbillywifestillcozy
  • @lindsayleigh1989 my DS who turns 2 in August still has his paci.  We recently started only giving it to him for nap and bedtime (it stays in the crib) and that has gone pretty well.  I'm not concerned about him using it to fall asleep so he will likely have it for awhile.  I agree that taking it away completely right before baby comes could be problematic and that's one of the reasons I'm not worried about taking it away completely for the foreseeable future. We started the nap and bedtime rule because he wasn't talking as much with it in during the day and I've noticed improvement already in how many words he has just because he doesn't have the paci in the way.  We are also keeping him in his crib for quite a while longer and the new baby will be in our room.  He sleeps so well in it, I'm not messing with that! lol.  If it's possible, I would keep her in the crib and let her keep her paci (I may have missed some back story though).  Sometimes it's better not to mess with what works to keep things simple especially in times of big change like this.  
    Married 9/19/09
    Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues
    TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
    TTC#1  starting Nov. 2009
    3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui
    TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12 
    TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks 
    Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15.  Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15.  Forever in our hearts.
    TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
    BabyFruit Ticker
    hillbillywifestillcozy
  • chaser61chaser61 member
    edited May 2018
    @lindsayleigh1989 DS is 2.5 years old and we took the paci away on Saturday. He only used it while he was sleeping but the dentist said that she can tell by the shape of his mouth that we used one. I am not sure if I believe it but that is what prompted us to make the change. I feel so bad about it. He has had a couple of melt downs and in general looked sad but it hasn’t been that bad. Once baby comes, we don’t want to make anymore changes for awhile so the struggle has been worth it. 

    We have been staggering the changes. Potty training started at 2 yrs and 3 months. We wouldn’t have taken the paci if he wasn’t doing well with that.  DS never took to the crib so he has been sleeping in a full size bed since 15 months..one thing we have not had to deal with. Anyway, pushing changes help kids grow and mature. So don’t feel like the bad guy or guilty for moving things along. But I agree with others... if it feels like too much then take a break from changes.
    stillcozySmashJam
  • Thanks everyone! I think we will wait for a bit I think she will regress with new baby thanks for reassuring me to trust my gut! 
    April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing


    SmashJamhillbillywifefoxbaby2016
  • @gingerbride26 I hope you and hubby feel better soon.

    @acunamatada it was way too crass for me and I didn't find it funny. 

    I'm working from home today because I can't deal with commuting to work and wearing real pants.

    I'm also feeling bad for DH, he's swamped at work and so overworked, then he comes home and is a great husband and dad. I feel like he needs a break. My parents are taking DD for 2 nights during the long weekend in May and hubby and I are planning some serious R&R.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    hillbillywife
  • wildtotwildtot member
    @lindsayleigh1989 my SIL started to wean our nephew around the time DS was just a few months. She would tell him that it was the babies turn to us them and if he would “share” them with him but keep one for now. Little by little he weaned out of it since he only had one. But i think one step at a time is best too. Too many changes might backfire. It’s definitely a struggle.
    stillcozy
  • My daughter is a thumb sucker and I feel like the harder I try to break her, the worse it gets. She will be 3 in August and starting part time pre school, so I am hoping it resolves itself (everything I read says don't push her on it)
    gingerbride26acunamatadastillcozy
  • We use YNAB and love it. Used it about 3 years so far. My husband is the guru in our house for it and though he's a software engineer he said there was a definite learning curve. Ours imports most of our transactions and then he just goes in every couple of days to move things into categories.



    Isabella & Julian & and now #3!
    SmashJamSarafussamdftwadventuresawait2
  • Does anyone have a recommendation for a really moisturizing bath oil or melt? My skin is so dry, especially on my belly but warm baths have felt so good!
  • Mildly freaking out- my baby shower is June 10th and we are mid-construction on our master bath (will be ready JUST in time for the baby to come in mid-end of july)
    We knew my mom and sister would be staying with us the weekend of the shower (because they are from CT) but now my 2 brothers, their girlfriends, my aunt and cousin are staying with us too!  (flying in from CT and GA)

    And we will have 1 shower because of the construction....ahhh totally wasnt planning for this and there is no way to speed up construction.  9 people getting ready the morning of my shower (which is at my house at 10am)...anxiety attackkk
  • And846And846 member
    I’ve been using palmers cocoa butter for my skin and it has been good. Retains moisture all day! 
    @babygagnon2018 sounds like a fun big sleepover! Don’t stress it - it’s only a weekend.
    babygagnon2018SmashJam
  • @babygagnon2018 maybe set up a showering schedule, so half the guests shower the night before and half the morning of? Or just tell your brothers they don't get to shower. Hopefully you won't have to do any of the cleaning/setting up, and can just soak up some extra quality time with your family!

    Has anyone ever been to one of those baby shows? There is one this weekend and I got free tickets to it a few months ago and totally forgot about it. Now I can't decide if its worth going. It's about 45 mins away and it'll be a lot of walking, which can potentially be an issue depending on how my sciatica is. Then again, it's a family ticket so it would be a free way to spend some quality family time. I just feel like the main point of it is to buy/browse products and I am done buying things at this point. Then again, there could be giveaways...link below if anyone is interested. 

    https://newyorkbabyshow.com/
    SmashJam
  • @runsomewhere the a-hole and his iron stomach is already eating pizza and giving me crap as I've been laying in bed all day vurping up mouths full of acid and cringing at food commercials trying to force down toast. I made him go pick her up from daycare since he's so much better.  >:)

    KatyF0813 Solidarity! We met with the GC today for a quote on the kitchen... he passed the interview and seemed to think it would only take 3 weeks - not including DH doing demo and IKEA doing the countertops - so i'm just hoping we can get it done before the baby comes... of course we're only engaging them for the kitchen and not the other 3 room reno/switch.

    @cseley321 that is why I was grateful we had a pacifier kid and not a thumb :( I can take away the pacifier but even sour nail polish can only do so much.  I wish you luck.  @lindsayleigh1989 We are in the same boat of trying to do toddler bed and DH pushing for pacifier weaning.  My take is she's just going to take the baby's and use it if we push it too fast.  She barely uses it at daycare except for naps or REALLY bad days, at home we put it out of reach and wait for her to ask for it before giving it back. She talks around it, which is supposed to make the teeth thing worse - but honestly she was already doomed with DH and mine's mouths.
    (totally pushed post on this yesterday but it's still here when i log in...)
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  • @MichelleAG05 I like the Butterball bath bombs at Lush.  It definitely makes the water oily and moisturizing and they smell awesome.  And they are one of the cheaper ones. 
    Married 9/19/09
    Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues
    TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
    TTC#1  starting Nov. 2009
    3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui
    TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12 
    TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks 
    Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15.  Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15.  Forever in our hearts.
    TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
    BabyFruit Ticker
    michelle_bird
  • @babygagnon2018 that's a lot of people for one bathroom but I'm sure it will work out and you'll have a fabulous shower. I like the above idea of a shower schedule. Other than that at this point all you can do is consider it an adventure!

    @gingerbride26 lol at your H already going for the pizza, glad he picked kiddo up. Feel better soon.  

    18 more work days after today for me. I cannot wait. I have so  much to do at home. The baby's room is not set up at all and there is so much around the house to organize. The nursery thread is putting me to shame, badly. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    babygagnon2018
  • Thanks @Sarafuss!  I actually used a Lush massage bar last night and it helped some, so I ordered some bath oils and bubble bars, etc. this morning.  
    Sarafuss
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