@smashjam haha I just read a lot and ask a ton of questions I guess. I don't know if there's actual scientific research showing supply issues are hereditary, but it's what nurses and lactation consultants have told me...I've also read that only about 5% of women actually have low supply, the rest who think they do just do not know what normal supply is like. For example, baby clusterfeeding is totally normal, but some women might become concerned and think it means they are not producing enough, so they supplement with formula, which subsequently does lower your supply (unless you pump during formula feeds to keep supply up, but still, pumping is not as effective as having baby latched so it can still lower your supply), and the cycle continues.
@zande2016 - love all your advice and it lines up perfectly with what I've read and researched! Breastfeeding Made Simple also talks about how every woman has a different storage supply (amount of milk you can hold max) and a different amount of time it takes you to generate that milk. So it's completely normal for one woman to need to feed every 2 hours and someone else every 4.
According to the book, in the first 3 months or so, breastfeeding is 100% supply and demand. If baby is having trouble latching, when formula is supplemented, etc - it all reduces the amount you're taking out, which reduces the amount your body will keep making. It's not until after the 4th trimester that the body regulates and it becomes hormonal how much you make instead of supply vs demand.
I agree regarding low supply. I think that many BF women get really discouraged about their supply when they feel like baby is eating "all the time" and they assume it's because they aren't producing enough and then start supplementing with formula or give up entirely. This is about half true, assuming latching is not the problem. We have talked about how tiny baby stomachs are at first right? So ur body produces a highly nutritious and caloric thing-- colostrum. They don't need much at any given feeding, but they still need to feed very often. Then ur milk comes in but baby's also getting bigger and so is their caloric need. Hello cluster feeding! Breast milk goes through them so fast and they get hungry sooner than formula babies. When they go through a growth spurt your smart little newborn then cluster feeds (eats more frequently than ever) to tell ur boobs to start making more milk. It takes ur body a couple days to catch on (maybe longer?) but if u get through this period then your baby is happy again with regular nursing sessions...until their next growth spurt. Pumping between feeds can make this happen faster with artificially telling ur body that baby needs more milk...hence the potential problem (or blessing) of over supply. If u supplement with formula and don't pump when baby is taking the bottle, then ur body never gets the message to increase production. Source: my own experience, kellymom.com, and my crazy informative first BMB.
Ya'll - I read something the other day about a "super producer" who donates her milk. She generates 1.5 GALLONS of breastmilk a day. What the What?!?! That's a freakishly large amount!
Thank you!!!@zande2016 my doula and birth class instructor said the same about supply, saying it is indeed rare and that it's all about being able to latch correctly. My mom had no issues and neither did my grandma so fingers crossed! They moved up my appointment so I'm going in at 3, hopefully babe is growing well!
@kissableviv mine have leveled off as well, and they did last time too! Then my milk came in after the boys were born and I swear they grew six cup sizes overnight so I wouldn’t worry! Right now your milk ducts are just growing and expanding so there’s a finite amount of growing they’ll do until they fill with milk! I had a massive oversupply once my milk came in last time (my record in one pumping session was almost 30oz!)
@MichelleAG05 I’ve seen stuff about her before..that must be sooooo uncomfortable! It’s nice that she is able to donate to a bank to help out medically fragile preemies though!
@comealongponds whoa! I struggled to pump 30 oz in an entire day! I had good supply in the beginning and became a just enougher once I went back to work.
We installed the car seat this weekend, DH did a great job and I was all excited, then I realized...we installed it in the middle seat, not behind the passenger seat, because we were told it is the safest place. And now I'm thinking... isn't it going to be a pain to get the baby in and out though??? Are all of you having the car seat behind the passenger seat? I'm totally ok with that too, just bummed now because we did such a good job, haha. I guess we could trial and error it, but wanted to hear what y'all are doing.
@kissableviv - middle seat isn't an option in my car, so DD is behind me (because 1. I have short legs and 2. I read you naturally protect your side of the car more when driving). She's in the middle in DH's truck - I'm short and sometimes struggled but would just set her car seat in the chair, then climb up and move it over. Not a big deal. I love it now that she's RS in a convertible because it gives me room to get in next to her and get her buckled in.
We put together the stroller and swing this weekend, but probably need to get the car seat out of the attic. I installed the 2nd base in may car months ago, but it's not level and my pregnant belly kept getting in the way so I just left it for DH to handle.
@kissableviv does your car's user manual say where safest place is? I haven't looked in mine yet but all the car seat safety things I've read say that your car should have specific instructions based on the make/model.
@canucklehead123 middle is best according to manual but we had to use the seatbelt because the latch installation is only available on the other two seats. I do like the option of being more comfortable if sitting in the back seat next to baby rather than in the middle seat which no one wants to sit in lol. We will try it out and see how it works!!
@kissableviv great job to your H! I’m going to put baby behind the drivers seat. DD is currently in that spot. I’m struggling with car seat arrangements too. I will have 3 in car sears (1 infant, 1 convertible, 1 booster) I don’t feel comfortable having DS in the middle seat because it doesn’t have a shoulder strap, but I don’t want LO there because then it’d be ridiculous to get him out of the car. I think DS will end up being in the third row, but I never thought it’d be so complicated with so much room!
Thanks Y'All, love the feedback, I love how I get excited to cross things off the list and then it's almost like I find some reason to continue to worry about it, lol. @hillbillywife I can definitely see the struggle when you have 3 car seats! And space to configure, sometimes having too many options is actually the worst, right??
@hillbillywife I feel the struggle. Dh wants to move our oldest (almost 5, almost 40lbs) into a booster to make fitting 3 cars eats across in our mdx easier. I'd like to keep him in a convertible, but two convertibles and a bucket is proving to be a challenge. Especially with all of these "the seats may not touch and any point" rules... I thought tops could touch just not based or belt paths.... Also I have to figure out how to do a seatbelt install on the olests convertible since he's over the weight for safe latch use. Car seats stress me out SO MUCH
@KatyF0813 - We just got a MDX. We played musical car seats. We will have three in car seats (1 convertible RF, 1 convertible FF, 1 infant). We bought a Diono brand convertible because they are known for being narrow. It works! The best fit for us (obvi this is pre-actually doing it when the baby comes), is convertibles on the outside, and carrier on the inside. Guess we'll see. Hoping to not have to utilize the back row yet.
We have the twins in the captains chairs in our van and that's where they've always been. I'm part of an awesome car seat group on FB and they typically say that wherever you can get the best install is the safest. All installs being equal, the middle is statistically just slightly safer than the sides .
I'm still contemplating how we're going to arrange the seats with baby girl. I have to decide if I want to load her through the trunk or if I should pull out a captains chair, move the boys to the third row and put her in the remaining captains chair. Not sure what will be easier.
@kissableviv we had DD in the middle, still do actually. I actually liked having her in the middle. Not only is it the safest, but then we could comfortably fit two adults in the back seat on either side of her. Plus if it was raining I could easily sit in the car and stay dry while getting her buckled. And when someone parked really close to my car on the drivers side, I could just as easily get her in from the passengers side.
@KatyF0813 that's the first I have heard of the car seats not being able to touch! When I looked up what car seats would work for our Forester 3 across it mentioned having to "puzzle" some combinations in but never that they couldn't touch.
kc1293 how do you get the carrier around the giant convertibles? I was trying to work that out in my head this weekend when we saw a 3 across family at the mall. That thing gets heavy FAST. We're still at 2 kiddos so we're just doing the two sides and leaving center open for purse/diaperbag/car basket and no more free rides for grandparents. DH just got a new lease last week so the carrier is back in the house for cleaning for new baby and then the bases should prob go in soon... will be weird not being able to crawl back there with DD for eating during road trips or because she asks nicely with please.
@gingerbride26 that's going to be our trial and error. We think since DS is FF that it will easier to click by putting the carrier in before him. In our heads it works. We got a new convertible, Diono R120, which is more narrow and not as bulky as other car seats. Also, luckily, I have really small kids, so they aren't as heavy I'll let you know if it works!
Oh I forgot to mention for any FTM struggling with car seats - most police stations have someone trained/certified who will check the install to ensure you did it correctly. You do need to call the non-emergency line and make an appointment though. Some hospitals do it too. It was a nice ease of mind after installing the first time.
I found out that one of the local pediatricians offices has a car seat tech too! Might be a good place to start! I think I’m going to get my car seats checked out here soon. Our car is old and doesn’t have latch and I feel like DD’s car seat isn’t ever tight enough.
Oh I forgot to mention for any FTM struggling with car seats - most police stations have someone trained/certified who will check the install to ensure you did it correctly. You do need to call the non-emergency line and make an appointment though. Some hospitals do it too. It was a nice ease of mind after installing the first time.
In our area it’s the fire stations. So you can try there too.
I was told it's difficult to get someone to inspect for free in my area and that fire stations don't do that anymore but AAA has monthly free events where they do it so I'll try to stop by. I don't want to pay someone$40 but I'll do it if I really have to...
I know some baby consignment events also do car seat inspections. Both of my hospitals also offer them for free. Check on your city website too! I just noticed ours gives us a list of events. @kissableviv i wouldn’t want to pay either, seems silly to charge for that service but it is AAA.
@kissableviv contact your local CHP office..they should do free inspections I believe
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
I forgot but my old hospital had someone who did it before you left with the baby. I dunno if this hospital will offer similar options, I'll have to check!
When do you start to enforce your kids to sit at the table during meal times and not leave until everyone is done eating?
My BIL/SIL's kid is almost 2. I don't think they've eaten a meal together since he was born. We'll all sit down for dinner and as soon as we do, the boy will start getting fussy in his high chair and one of them will get up and entertain him somewhere else while everyone gets to eats dinner. Then when someone is done, they'll switch so whoever was watching the kid finally gets to eat his dinner.
Just curious for all the moms and how they handle meal times.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@rachelsogo we don’t always have meals together but we do manage to get a few. It’s tricky because I have to sit and feed DS first so he’s entertained while we get our food ready. He can’t get out of chair at home but it’s a different story at restaurants (i gotta trap him lol) i think it’s a good idea to start as early as you can. DS sometimes eats better seeing others eat the same food. DS is 2.
@rachelsogo my H is basically never home at dinner time so I’m fairly relaxed with sitting at the table. My 6 year old has a bad habit of getting distracted while eating and will get up and jump around. I’m definitely more strict with him. My 3 year old is kind of a grazer so she’s up and down a lot. We never stop eating to entertain them though. Unless it’s at the table so we can all eat. I would be so hangry all the time. Lol
We have always had dinner as a family and everyone is expected to stay until everyone else is finished. My kids are slow eaters though so it's almost always dh and I waiting for the kids to finish. My sils family doesn't do this (her kids are 9, 7 and 5) and it makes me crazy. The kids scarf their food before anyone has even started and then they run off to play. Wouldn't be so bad except they make multiple trips back to the table to grab more food (often straight from the serving dishes) and often break into the dessert before its been served. It's hard to convince my kids to stay at the table when their cousins are eating cake in the next room... And Bil gives me dirty looks evertime I say to my kids "every family has different rules, but we follow ours where ever we are" ... Oh well. At least I can trust my kids to be well behaved at restaurants
@rachelsogo dinners are usually just me and DS too, they’re also the hardest meal of the day to get him to sit properly. He’s almost 3. He’s much better if he sees me or DH eating the same thing with him, but that doesn’t always work. Im big on doing whatever works for your family, one of us would never leave to occupy DS while the other ate, especially at home. I’ll let him get up and down to play, but no TV. He’ll usually grab a few toys and bring it to the table if we’re all eating.. He’s a grazer too and will usually pick at his dinner later on if he doesn’t eat it with us, after we’re done I put the plate on his mini table so it’s on his level.
He’s pretty good in restaurants but that’s partly because we spend a good amount of visiting DH at his restaurant for lunch. When we’re all out together I’ll order his meal with apps/drinks so that he has something to occupy him while we eat. He’ll normally make it a whole meal if I pack a bag of toys to occupy him, and I only need to break out the phone if service is slow towards the end.
@rachelsogo my boys always sit at the table for meals. I usually eat breakfast and lunch with them and DH sometimes joins us for breakfast. They eat dinner just the two of them at the table because they go to bed way earlier than DH and I eat. If we go out for dinner, I usually order their dinner when we order drinks and appetizers and then just give them toys/snacks while the adults eat (but they stay in their chairs).
@rachelsogo we do family dinner together every night and have since DD was able to sit in her high chair. DD is 2.5 and able to feed herself she also understand that dinner is family time. However since before she turned 2 she started refusing to sit in her high chair or booster so she just sits in a regular chair. She's too small for it and sometimes gets out before we're all done eating but whatever. We are pretty relaxed with her getting up to grab a toy or something really quick during dinner as long as most of the time she's at the table with us. Also, hubby and I will chat over dinner and take our time and we do allow DD to get up from the table to go play before we are done if she is done eating and sat there for a reasonable amount of time.
Re: Ask a STM- May Edition
According to the book, in the first 3 months or so, breastfeeding is 100% supply and demand. If baby is having trouble latching, when formula is supplemented, etc - it all reduces the amount you're taking out, which reduces the amount your body will keep making. It's not until after the 4th trimester that the body regulates and it becomes hormonal how much you make instead of supply vs demand.
We have talked about how tiny baby stomachs are at first right? So ur body produces a highly nutritious and caloric thing-- colostrum. They don't need much at any given feeding, but they still need to feed very often. Then ur milk comes in but baby's also getting bigger and so is their caloric need.
Hello cluster feeding! Breast milk goes through them so fast and they get hungry sooner than formula babies. When they go through a growth spurt your smart little newborn then cluster feeds (eats more frequently than ever) to tell ur boobs to start making more milk. It takes ur body a couple days to catch on (maybe longer?) but if u get through this period then your baby is happy again with regular nursing sessions...until their next growth spurt.
Pumping between feeds can make this happen faster with artificially telling ur body that baby needs more milk...hence the potential problem (or blessing) of over supply. If u supplement with formula and don't pump when baby is taking the bottle, then ur body never gets the message to increase production.
Source: my own experience, kellymom.com, and my crazy informative first BMB.
@MichelleAG05 I’ve seen stuff about her before..that must be sooooo uncomfortable! It’s nice that she is able to donate to a bank to help out medically fragile preemies though!
We put together the stroller and swing this weekend, but probably need to get the car seat out of the attic. I installed the 2nd base in may car months ago, but it's not level and my pregnant belly kept getting in the way so I just left it for DH to handle.
@hillbillywife I can definitely see the struggle when you have 3 car seats! And space to configure, sometimes having too many options is actually the worst, right??
I'm still contemplating how we're going to arrange the seats with baby girl. I have to decide if I want to load her through the trunk or if I should pull out a captains chair, move the boys to the third row and put her in the remaining captains chair. Not sure what will be easier.
@kissableviv i wouldn’t want to pay either, seems silly to charge for that service but it is AAA.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
My BIL/SIL's kid is almost 2. I don't think they've eaten a meal together since he was born. We'll all sit down for dinner and as soon as we do, the boy will start getting fussy in his high chair and one of them will get up and entertain him somewhere else while everyone gets to eats dinner. Then when someone is done, they'll switch so whoever was watching the kid finally gets to eat his dinner.
Just curious for all the moms and how they handle meal times.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
He’s pretty good in restaurants but that’s partly because we spend a good amount of visiting DH at his restaurant for lunch. When we’re all out together I’ll order his meal with apps/drinks so that he has something to occupy him while we eat. He’ll normally make it a whole meal if I pack a bag of toys to occupy him, and I only need to break out the phone if service is slow towards the end.