@zande2016 my one concern with her driving him would be that even though her driving record is clean doesn't mean it's due to safe driving. I got a 77 in a 55 speeding ticket when I was 18 that never touched my record because my uncle was an A.D.A. and got it dismissed in exchange for me taking a defensive driving class. So with her dad being a cop she probably wouldn't have anything on her record unless it was really serious, like an accident.
Also I'd be paranoid about her taking him to a park and him wandering off or her not paying close enough attention but I'm also a crazy paranoid person. I probably would feel the same way about DH taking LO to the park honestly
Yeah my neighbors kid got clocked doing almost twice the speed limit on a residential street and called her dad (former homicide detective now shift supervisor) crying and got off with a warning.
I have no real advice, my kids are 20m and they’ve never been left with anyone other than grandparents because I haven’t the faintest clue how to go about finding a sitter I’d be comfortable with!
@comealongponds my kid is also 20 months, well he will be next week, and he's really only ever been taken care of by us, my mom, my MIL, and one babysitter who babysat our niece for 4 years and basically became a part of their family. So this is all new to me too. But unfortunately we really have no choice, we need someone to watch him while we work and no family member can do it on Thursdays.
@zande2016 I definitely don’t envy you the search! I’m already dreading figuring out what I’m going to do with these three at the end of this maternity leave. I don’t plan on returning to my current job (floor nurse, hour plus commute, shift work...yuck) so I won’t be able to do the same part time schedule I’m doing now. Thankfully the boys will be almost three and half by the time I need to figure it out (and Summer will be 18m). Good luck!
Confession, our sitter does take DS out places every so often and I probably don’t worry as much as I’d normally do for other stuff idk why. I do ask her to let us know where they will be, time and how long in case of emergencies. I’m probably too trusting but i can’t live my life with too much worry, my anxiety would sky rocket. I do voice my safety requirements (rear facing etc).
I will have no choice but to get a sitter. I don't want to -or can afford to - be a sahm, and our families are far away. We'll do day care once he is a year old probably. As @wildtot says I think at some point I'll just gave to be trusting, I don't want my kid to be home all day and not being taken anywhere. For now the parks and the beach are not walking distance for us so driving is the only way.
@wildtot it is extremely common around me for people to use a nanny and have them take kids out on errands, to activities, etc. So you are in no way alone on that. Aside from hiring a private investigator to follow her when she drives and see if she speeds, I guess I have no real way of knowing how safe of a driver she truly is, but my husband keeps saying when you have a cop for a parent you learn to drive safely. But I guess the flip side, as others have pointed out, you could also drive fast because you have a get out of jail free card.
@wildtot i think that it's great that the sitter takes your kiddo out. A little kid doesn't want to be stuck at home with an adult all day. Plus, that's so bad for their verbal and social development.
I've said it before and I know not everyone agrees but to me the safest and best child care is a reputable, licensed day care canter/preschool. Based on my experience and observation it's by far the best for little ones.
@runsomewhere I definitely felt safer with my son in day care than with a babysitter who I barely know, but I am really happy for the 4 days a week he spends with his grandma. They absolutely adore each other and I love the bond they've developed. Also, I never stepped foot in a daycare and my mom was a SAHM so I figure he's basically getting the same experience I had growing up and I turned out okay If a daycare would take him for that one day per week my mom can;t be with him, I'd do it, but none around me will do that.
@wildtot wish I had some advice but same struggles here.. But with my IL’s. He stays at their house sometimes while I work but I try and keep it to a minimum because it stresses me out and I don’t trust them 100%. They watched him while we went to the movies this past Monday, I packed him his two favorite foods to eat for dinner so I know he would eat and we get back and MIL says he wouldn’t eat so she gave him gummy bears.. Gave a 3 year old gummy bears for dinner. Then DH is feeding him while we’re picking him up so he wouldn’t go to bed hungry (he ate no problem) she says she didn’t even give him the broccoli because she didn’t think he’d like it.
I don't want to assume or brag but I feel like my in laws would not have issues with feeding the baby/kid weird food, or doing odd things against our parenting style. I just wish they were not in Texas:(
I'm on board with daycare but I work from home. I kind of like the idea of being able to take care of him part time until he is maybe 12 months, with the help of a sitter. I'm hoping my plan works out, but I'm also looking at daycares, that way we can pivot in case stuff doesn't work the way we hope.
We went to a car seat safety class and I have a couple of questions. 1) Do you wash the car seat fabric parts when you buy a new one? 2) Any STMs using a mirror to look at the car seat? They highly discouraged their use in the class.
@kissableviv i don’t remember washing the seat until much later after a blowout. But funny you say that i was just think of i should wash the new carrier we got. We use the mirror but I’m curious to know why they discourage them. I’ve never heard of anyone saying anything against them.
@kissableviv@wildtot I heard the same thing from a relative who saw it on my registry! "The Carseat Lady" says the mirror could hurt the baby because it fails the "ouch test" and that it makes you a distracted driver. I am not great at search terms and I'm having trouble figuring out what the eff the "ouch test" is, lol.
ETA: the ouch test is if you hit yourself in the head with the object and say "ouch" it will hurt your kid during a crash, apparently.
@kissableviv no I didn’t wash the fabric before using. I never even though about it. The mirror thing is because it could become a projectile in a crash. But literally everything in the car would become a projectile so by that logic no cell phone, coffee, dog, etc. We use the mirror and it has padded rounded corners and the glass is set inward so less likely to break.
@zande2016 oh man my whole car is filled with projectiles. I should really clean it out better I never thought of that. Oi. I have actually pulled over and checked DS when he was still rear facing because I was worried he spontaneously stopped breathing, I feel like the mirror would really help that anxiety.
@smashjam haha same, my car is filled with projectiles. I practically live in it so it gets pretty messy. I like having the mirror, when he was a baby I always had to make sure he was okay. now I like to see if he’s sleeping, and also just see his funny faces and he makes in the car.
@SmashJam yes! One time DS was really sick and all of a sudden no sound on the way to the doctor. The mirror really help with that anxiety. Ours is also padded, strapped in two ways, and mirror isn’t really glass. It’s more of a fake/plastic thing. There are way more loose toys in my car that I’d consider more projectile than the mirror.
The lady who gave the class is from AAA and said that it adds another distraction for the driver. And yes, it could be a projectile but mostly in the event of a crash it *could* shatter (she said it's hard to know what they crash test with, if with a vehicle going 5 or 30 miles/hr, etc). I had literally just added 2 to the registry, lol.
Re: washing, I will open and test installation of ours today and see what it looks like. I washed the used one we got and it was kind of a pain haha. So I might just wipe it off.
@kissableviv I was paranoid about the car seat with #1 because there was a local case of asphyxiation in a car seat just before he was born. The mirror helped calm my mind, especially since he started teething almost immediately, so we drove him a LOT to help sooth him. I'll definitely be using it this time, too, because quite frankly I don't trust my son not to "share his toys" but tossing them into the baby's carseat, lol. Those two dangers rank higher to me, personally, so it might just depend on what concerns you more. Also, I'm in the "never washed the seat cover until I needed to" camp.
P.S. Hi, Mamas! I'm sorry I've been MIA for months and not here expressing my support of all you amazing ladies. I hope your journies so far have been happy and healthy!!!!
@kissableviv I know they are technically projectile risks but I feel more comfortable being able to see my kids on road trips (we travel 2.5h to the cottage regularly) and it made me 100000x more comfortable when they were tiny newborn preemies. I'll be getting a third for baby 3.
Also, I didn't wash our car seat covers .I've never washed the bucket seat covers and I only washed the convertible seat cover on one of my seats after a drink got spilled all over it. I don't think it's necessary to wash before use. Our buckets actually still look really clean so I don't think I'll even wash the cover before this baby uses it .
Thank you!!! I feel the same about the mirror...I think we'll still be using it. And yay, one less thing to wash. In all honesty I don't wash my own clothes when I buy them, only underwear.
@kissableviv thanks for sharing the info you get on the car seat mirrors, I never thought of that, although I still plan on using one with this baby. It's the same one we had for DD and she loved it. It comes with a little remote so you can turn on lights and music if baby starts fussing. Also, it's super lightweight and cannot shatter.
Another question! It's about the changing pad. I have a cover for it. But I also got some of those washable pads to put on top of the changing pad. My question is, do you still need a cover? Or do you all use those thin pads on top of the changing pad instead of the cover? I have ordered a bambo changing pad but I was going to use the other one they got me (a basic one from summer infant or something like that) for night changes on the go on the bed. That's the one that has the cover. Thoughts? TIA!!!
@kissableviv we used both, the full cover plus the small washable pads right under her bottom. Ours changing pad itself is the standard plastic one, so it wouldn’t be very soft or comfortable for baby, particularly for bare skin. Just my two cents, it’s probably fine either way though
@kissableviv we mainly just used the cover on the pad. Ours has a plastic/easy clean center that made it easy to use. Only issue with that was on cold days the plastic was too cold and had to put a burp cloth or something for comfort.
@kissableviv Our changing pad is also plastic covered so I kept the cotton sheet cover on with the disposable just resting on top of that. It helped a lot for the new baby blow-outs in the middle of the night!! Just tossed the disposable cover and didn't need to strip the whole changing pad (though this will happen at least once )
Speaking of changing pads. Has anyone used the Keekaroo peanut changer, or one similar? They’re supposedly waterproof and don’t require a cover, but dam it’s so expensive! My little boy always pooped and peed all over the cover, even when we used One of those liners he’d still get it everywhere, and we were constantly having to change the cover. Wondering if this is worth it.
@zande2016 I heard the Bamboo did a similar job for less. It's still $70but I think it will be worth it. Apparently you can also use it for sponge baths. Don't quote me too much on that because as an FTM I am still pretty clueless lol.
@kissableviv are you talking about the bumbo changing pad? I don't see any bamboo changing pads (though lots of bamboo liners) on Amazon, but did come across this. It does look really similar but I don't like any of the colors for our nursery.
Okay now I just discovered a changing pad with a waterproof light at the end for middle of the night diaper changes. It's not waterproof and does require a cover, but that's kind of a really good idea so you don't have to turn a light on and mess with the whole night vs day thing. I mean a cell phone flash light could accomplish the same thing, but still a pretty good idea.
Our changing pad is also waterproof and easy to wipe, we didn't use it much, just changed the baby wherever. The covers we have are mostly for looks and comfort.
I never used a change table or actual pad, just a waterproof travel change pad. It was easier for me since we have a two level house and I didn't want to be running upstairs every time one of them needed to be changed. I just had a diaper caddy with diapers, wipes, cream & the pad in it that I brought up when we went to bed. Same plan this time around.
For dim light at night I used my phone's flashlight. I would turn it on and put it on my nightstand to give me enough light to change/feed/pump without lighting up the whole room.
We had lots of accidents on our changing pad - used the cotton stretch pads on it and then the bumbo brand pads on top of that. They have to be washed on cold water or else the backing will get all stuck together. This time I bought some Munkin brand to try - my friend had them and didn't have the backing issue.
We also had lots of accidents in the bucket chair and had to take off the cover and wash it at least 3-4 times. I definitely don't wash the brand new car seat though, and won't now either. And we use the mirrors even though they're not recommended. I still have mine up with my RF toddler and bought a new one for the baby's side of the car.
I got the gerber cloth diapers and just would lay them flat on the changing pad as an extra layer of protection haha definitely had some poop splosions haha
Re: Ask a STM- May Edition
I have no real advice, my kids are 20m and they’ve never been left with anyone other than grandparents because I haven’t the faintest clue how to go about finding a sitter I’d be comfortable with!
I've said it before and I know not everyone agrees but to me the safest and best child care is a reputable, licensed day care canter/preschool. Based on my experience and observation it's by far the best for little ones.
They watched him while we went to the movies this past Monday, I packed him his two favorite foods to eat for dinner so I know he would eat and we get back and MIL says he wouldn’t eat so she gave him gummy bears.. Gave a 3 year old gummy bears for dinner. Then DH is feeding him while we’re picking him up so he wouldn’t go to bed hungry (he ate no problem) she says she didn’t even give him the broccoli because she didn’t think he’d like it.
I'm on board with daycare but I work from home. I kind of like the idea of being able to take care of him part time until he is maybe 12 months, with the help of a sitter. I'm hoping my plan works out, but I'm also looking at daycares, that way we can pivot in case stuff doesn't work the way we hope.
1) Do you wash the car seat fabric parts when you buy a new one?
2) Any STMs using a mirror to look at the car seat? They highly discouraged their use in the class.
We use the mirror but I’m curious to know why they discourage them. I’ve never heard of anyone saying anything against them.
ETA: the ouch test is if you hit yourself in the head with the object and say "ouch" it will hurt your kid during a crash, apparently.
now I like to see if he’s sleeping, and also just see his funny faces and he makes in the car.
Re: washing, I will open and test installation of ours today and see what it looks like. I washed the used one we got and it was kind of a pain haha. So I might just wipe it off.
P.S.
Hi, Mamas! I'm sorry I've been MIA for months and not here expressing my support of all you amazing ladies. I hope your journies so far have been happy and healthy!!!!
Also, I didn't wash our car seat covers .I've never washed the bucket seat covers and I only washed the convertible seat cover on one of my seats after a drink got spilled all over it. I don't think it's necessary to wash before use. Our buckets actually still look really clean so I don't think I'll even wash the cover before this baby uses it .
I have ordered a bambo changing pad but I was going to use the other one they got me (a basic one from summer infant or something like that) for night changes on the go on the bed. That's the one that has the cover. Thoughts? TIA!!!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MU4B1MW/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?pd_rd_i=B01MU4B1MW&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=950202000752607969&pf_rd_r=T89QR015SQ9PMCJRSH5Z&pd_rd_wg=zt95a&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&pd_rd_w=8n0cD&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pd_rd_r=483eff9a-5cee-11e8-95cc-8d6372de52a3&th=1
ETA: I meant salt lamp:)
For dim light at night I used my phone's flashlight. I would turn it on and put it on my nightstand to give me enough light to change/feed/pump without lighting up the whole room.
We also had lots of accidents in the bucket chair and had to take off the cover and wash it at least 3-4 times. I definitely don't wash the brand new car seat though, and won't now either. And we use the mirrors even though they're not recommended. I still have mine up with my RF toddler and bought a new one for the baby's side of the car.