@jessiestg1980Perhaps the responses seemed rude to you as you are a brand new person in this community. If you’d been here long enough you would have known that this board is different than others in that it doesn’t encourage BS, non-factual theories, including “guessing the gender!1”. These types of threads have popped up before so now it is apparent that any person who posts them is clearly just randomly posting without having looked at any previous discussions. The people you insulted in the other thread are some of the most active and supportive participants on here, so your first interactions don’t make the best first impression. If you stick around you'll see that this board is a great community (and one that understands snark is not a personal attack).
@jessiestg1980@deutschmama Is correct. Those posts are against he rules. It's clear when it's random people posting without reading the rules or introducing themselves. After the first 5-10, they just get old so people respond with snarky remarks. Half of the time, OP never even comes back to read the responses, which actually makes them the trolls.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Oh, are we still talking about that rando who drive-by posted 3-4 “guess the ‘gender’” posts in a row and was treated kindly until gif snark on the most recent obnoxious post? Awesome. **insert Grandpa Simpson walking back out the door gif here**
I mean, she doesn't really have to apologize. Just look at Randoms or the Judgment from others post. Most people on an anonymous forum have short attention spans. But that's why some of us keep post-its.
I'm confused about how she thought that thread was "higher up" than this one when this thread is pinned at the top. *shrugs* @jessiestg1980 we pin this thread and the READ THIS FIRST thread at the top for a reason, so when new people join they can read the rules before posting. Not our fault if people decide to ignore those threads and post things we've clearly already stated not to post. This is a give and get community, not just a place to come create an AW post and never come back and join conversation. As someone else mentioned, that thread was about the 5th or 6th one like that we have had posted this week, all by random people who don't take time to read the rules. So yes, it gets very annoying very fast and we respond with snark.
Hello! I guess I never hit post reply a few weeks ago. Oops! My EDD is 12/2. I have a 6yr old son. Struggled with unexplained secondary infertility the past 5yrs. ***TW, I had a MMC 4/16. End TW** I'm Plus size & AMA.
@morgantu Its something you write down the usernames of people you maybe don't like, or have said crazy things because sometimes BMB get pretty crazy. That way if/when people move to Facebook, you know who you might not want to include
@AdorkablePixie@deutschmama I do understand they’re against the rules. That’s why I said the lady mistakenly posted. I also understand that watching so many people make the same mistake would be frustrating. What I don’t understand is lashing out at a fellow expecting mama, in her first trimester, when we all know how emotional it can be. A gentle reminder to read the rules and if you’re not capable of it keep scrolling. I have been hella sick so I haven’t been up to speed on who posts what and when so if she is a repeat offender I really didn’t know. I came here once to post my ultrasound pic then back to the porcelain throne I went for a week. I don’t believe I broke any community standards and I don’t understand why two women following me here from that thread when I’m trying to introduce myself is ok. It’s not. It also doesn’t say anywhere in there it’s ok to be rude when others make a mistake (re “culture”). Perhaps I’ve wandered into the wrong community
@jessiestg1980 perhaps you have. Would you wander up to a group of women talking, whom you don't know, and call them trolls and losers? And then, a moment later, introduce yourself as if that never happened?
Trust when I say that this group has been kind to the lost who wander in here with their random nonsense that they shouldn't post here. And then we were not so kind. And then we were flat out rude, yes. And once you've been here for more than a hot second, you will see that these kind of these keep popping up, and there's only so much "please read the stickied posts, or just read ANY of the things that have been posted here at all" before you get snarky.
It's apparent who's here for attention for themselves, and who's here for support. People who are here to join the community would read the sticky posts, and read other posts within the community to get a feel for it. People who only care about themselves come in and post whatever the hell they want without bothering to get to know any of us first, or find out what this place is about. I can't get worked up about offending people who only care about themselves. I'm here for the community and the support that comes with getting to know people.
Have you considered why you're here? Have you considered that you've offended a large number of us with your white knighting?
Also, this hill that you're so keen to die on, is all for someone who isn't going to return. Even when we're nice to them, they don't come back to join. They only care about people fawning over their situation, so when we suggest they intro and participate more, they generally peace out. So... you can keep defending this person, but she's gone. Or you can put on your big girl panties and realize that if you want to stay here, this is who we are. You're not going to change that, no matter how Canada Nice you are.
And plus also, you are quick to place blame on women who have been supporting one another for weeks through tough times, losses, fears, moments of illness, etc. Have you thought that maybe you made a faux pas yourself, and should apologize for being rude (for honestly no reason) to people who are regulars of this board, and have offered so much support and advice to other ladies. If you apologize for what you've done wrong, we can move on and continue to support one another like we did before you got here.
Just tagging you one final time to explain how the board is laid out @jessiestg1980 because you seem to be confused. No one is "following" you here - everyone reads and posts in all or most of the threads. We can see everything you write, so if you post in one thread calling people losers and trolls and then post in another thread as if nothing happened, people are going to call you out on your rude behavior. Like if I insulted a bunch of people in the appointments thread and then asked for changing table recs in the Randoms thread, people who saw what I wrote in the other thread might call me out there, in the original thread or, you know, anywhere on this board.
I get that you believe you were protecting someone who innocently posted something against the rules, but there are plenty of ways to do that without calling people losers and trolls. That part of your behavior was rude and people aren't just going to let it slide. Many of us have been contributing to this board for months. We are lucky to have a great group of ladies here and if you'd like to be a part of this community you need to understand that rude things you post are visible to everyone, and will be called out either in the thread you posted in or elsewhere.
@maureenmce I was kind with the first two comments. I was personally attacked and I clapped back. That’s when I said those two were losers and trolls. Not sorry. Bringing this discussion over to a new thread is essentially following me, as I’m not allowed to join in other conversations without that one thread being brought up. Please stop
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@runrinserepeat I’m here for support not attention. To join in conversation with other mamas. I read the rules before I posted... maybe about a month ago. I’m not mean in nature but I also find it difficult to stand by while someone is being attacked. So it’s been made clear that she didn’t read rules and is a repeat offender. In real life I would put my hand up and say “oh nah girlfriend you’re on you’re own now!” I did say I wasn’t aware she’s a repeat offender. It’s not my intention to go away and I’d like to be able to participate in conversations without THIS being beaten to death. If that can’t happen I’ll go. I don’t apologize for defending myself. I do apologize for not knowing I was defending a woman who has a blatant disregard for rules.
It confuses me that you don't realize how your actions will affect our opinion of you. Or that you think by telling us to forget about it will actually make us forget about it. Sure this thread has nothing to do with the other one, except that you called us names in the other one, so ... yeah. We remember that. And without an apology, we're all just sitting here thinking you believe us to be trolls and losers. And honey, I hate to fall short of expectations.
I called the people trolling me trolls. I called the people who were making fun of me losers. I’m not sorry for that. Maybe if you weren’t such a mob of rude mamas I wouldn’t have to defend myself. Of course you turn it around on me like I’m the bad guy just like a typical bully but enough is enough already. @BumpAdmin
Why are you tagging the bump admin @jessiestg1980? No one has insulted or attacked you, we've simply explained how you were out of line to call people trolls and losers, and how our board/culture works. Now we're a "mob of rude mamas?" I can't imagine why your tactic of 1. insulting people, 2. refusing to apologize 3. demanding people stop bringing up how you insulted people and 4. insulting people again hasn't gone over well...
This is insanity. Honestly. I was attacked and defended myself. This is, by definition, mobbing. You’re being rude. I’ve asked “please stop” a few times now after explaining myself. You guys are like a dog with a bone. Enough!
@jessiestg1980 I think you have a bad memory. Your first post was criticizing us and someone called you a white knight, which is honestly not an attack. You then asked if there was something wrong with her and that’s when people became defensive. No one attacked you out of the gate. You are in the wrong. If you want to be a part of this community you need to humble yourself and apologize to the members you insulted and personally attacked. You need to grow up.
Welcome @mommythlegend! I am AMA/infertility dx as well. Nice to have you, congrats on your rainbow and wishing you a H&H Pregnancy.
@jessiestg1980 and Regs, please move the conversation to another thread so our Introduction Thread doesn’t get shut down for change of topic. It’s important people are able to use this thread as intended so we have intros in one place. The easiest way to ‘please stop’ is to simply stop replying and let the convo die. Thank you in advance!
Hi everyone! I've been waiting to join until I was ready and felt comfortable. I have one DD that will be 2 in August and was active in that BMB! *TW* I had an early MC in March and was devastated. *End TW* We decided to TTC the next cycle and now here I am 9+4 with a healthy pregnancy so far! I had a dating ultrasound that showed baby is measuring a few days behind but that's probably related to when I ovulated. My EDD is staying 12/22 at this time! WellW be team green for this babe, we knew with our DD. I'm looking forward to getting to know you all!
@Gingersnap_mama Hi and congrats! We have a wonderful PGAL (pregnant after a loss) check in, if you'd like to join us. And team green - how exciting! Welcome!
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Hello! My name is Thalia, 28 years old and pregnant with baby#3. I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow and my due date is 12/16/2018. I've been waiting to introduce myself due to early complications due to SCH. But, its been a whole month and no bleeding so here I am!
Re: Introduce Yourself Here
If you stick around you'll see that this board is a great community (and one that understands snark is not a personal attack).
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!DS2 due 12/12/18
post its for the win
Its something you write down the usernames of people you maybe don't like, or have said crazy things because sometimes BMB get pretty crazy. That way if/when people move to Facebook, you know who you might not want to include
Trust when I say that this group has been kind to the lost who wander in here with their random nonsense that they shouldn't post here. And then we were not so kind. And then we were flat out rude, yes. And once you've been here for more than a hot second, you will see that these kind of these keep popping up, and there's only so much "please read the stickied posts, or just read ANY of the things that have been posted here at all" before you get snarky.
It's apparent who's here for attention for themselves, and who's here for support. People who are here to join the community would read the sticky posts, and read other posts within the community to get a feel for it. People who only care about themselves come in and post whatever the hell they want without bothering to get to know any of us first, or find out what this place is about. I can't get worked up about offending people who only care about themselves. I'm here for the community and the support that comes with getting to know people.
Have you considered why you're here? Have you considered that you've offended a large number of us with your white knighting?
Have you thought that maybe you made a faux pas yourself, and should apologize for being rude (for honestly no reason) to people who are regulars of this board, and have offered so much support and advice to other ladies. If you apologize for what you've done wrong, we can move on and continue to support one another like we did before you got here.
eta: tag @jessiestg1980
I get that you believe you were protecting someone who innocently posted something against the rules, but there are plenty of ways to do that without calling people losers and trolls. That part of your behavior was rude and people aren't just going to let it slide. Many of us have been contributing to this board for months. We are lucky to have a great group of ladies here and if you'd like to be a part of this community you need to understand that rude things you post are visible to everyone, and will be called out either in the thread you posted in or elsewhere.
just in case anyone needs it...
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I honestly thought it would be here when I woke up this morning.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
I did say I wasn’t aware she’s a repeat offender. It’s not my intention to go away and I’d like to be able to participate in conversations without THIS being beaten to death. If that can’t happen I’ll go. I don’t apologize for defending myself. I do apologize for not knowing I was defending a woman who has a blatant disregard for rules.
Can this please stop?
@jessiestg1980 and Regs, please move the conversation to another thread so our Introduction Thread doesn’t get shut down for change of topic. It’s important people are able to use this thread as intended so we have intros in one place.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022