ugh.....I barely remember to take my prenatal once a day, I can't imagine if I had to take it more than that!
I tried to take the fenugreek to increase my supply last time but it's like 9-12 pills a day you have to remember to take and I was just so sick of pills.
@mrsbubbles-2 I love the idea of a freezer meal thread! Haha, as you can see from my picture, I'm sort of a doomsday prepper when it comes to this stuff. I'd love to see what recipes other people are using! It's tedious to wade through pinterest sometimes. I feel like I see the same old recipes over and over again.
I would love to have a meal prep/frezzer meal thread! I didn't even think about this sorta thing. This is another reason I am so glad you STM are on here. I never would have thought about stocking up meals. I don't really want to cook dinner now let alone when the baby comes home. lol.
I love this meal prep thread idea! I will print them and hand them to my mom when she's in town. ha, I can barely get dinner on the table, let alone prep more meals
@livinthesunnylife don't worry, you didn't miss anything with fenugreek. It did nothing for my supply and I smelled very strongly of maple syrup. I still can't have syrup to this day because of those pills.
Pages behind but @alinafed I had birth photos all 3 times and they are among my most cherished possessions. I didn’t find it intrusive or anything and I love looking at them as a record of the birth - which as the one doing it we don’t get to SEE. The details get fuzzy and the photos help remember. And seeing the moment we met our babies is priceless.
Dh isnt good at taking pics so I didn’t want to be mad at him for not getting them or take him away from the experience.
@juliebird6. I love the idea of just making a double batch when you were already making dinner! I would do a big cook on Sundays and get pissed when I was cooking for multiple hours.
Yes to a freezer meal thread! I had great intentions with DS and it just didn't happen. We have since gotten a deep freezer, so I plan on doing it this time! I know with a newborn and a toddler, plus a working husband, it’s going to be so helpful!
You guys are convincing me to get a birth photographer. I’m so glad we have a few my doula took because I made DH give her his phone, lol. I do regret not having more/better ones but I also didn’t think I’d want them.
I asked this in our ticker change thread but I’ll ask here, too: did anyone else’s hair turn straight to curly after baby one and did it get more curly after baby 2+? Mine is now super curly in the back and I miss my straight hair!!
@ladygali. YES. I had a slight wave in some parts of my hair pre-pregnancy, and now it's really wavy, almost curly, in the back in the under layers. The top and front are still straight, which makes for some weird hair. I actually had a kink in the top layer of my hair from right around when I gave birth, and I watched it slowly grow out for the next year.
I only have the one kid, so I can't speak to what happens next. I'm actually hoping for more curls, as long as they are more consistent curls.
ETA: I found a picture of my hair 5 months post partum. You can see the bump in that one section, but the rest is pretty straight. But you can also see the curls in the lower layers.
Has anyone been successful in getting short term disability after finding out you were pregnant? Best 3rd party to go thru? My work offers it but they denied me a few years ago, not sure why because I never received anything from the company.
@hoodwink89 generally pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition for short term disability insurance purposes. I had a friend that had to opt into her employer's plan during the annual enrollment period, and decided to skip it the years she wasn't pregnant with the assumption she could hop on during annual enrollment once she was pregnant. It got denied, and she couldn't find coverage elsewhere, so she was fully unpaid for her maternity leave.
My employer covers and pays for short term disability for all full time employees and has a separate maternity leave policy that guarantees salary continuation for 16 weeks, thank god.
@hoodwink89 generally pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition for short term disability insurance purposes. I had a friend that had to opt into her employer's plan during the annual enrollment period, and decided to skip it the years she wasn't pregnant with the assumption she could hop on during annual enrollment once she was pregnant. It got denied, and she couldn't find coverage elsewhere, so she was fully unpaid for her maternity leave.
My employer covers and pays for short term disability for all full time employees and has a separate maternity leave policy that guarantees salary continuation for 16 weeks, thank god.
Same to this. That sucks your work doesn’t offer it as company paid. I handle STD leave among other things for my organization. Now I know ones like Aflac you have to be on for a year before giving birth. Is yours like that?
@scottishlass1213 I've worked at places previously that had the one year rule for STD. Our maternity leave policy is what governs maternity leave, rather than the STD policy. You are required to have been a full time employee for a year to qualify for the maternity leave payout. They've been willing to allow the standard 12 weeks unpaid for employees that haven't been around long enough to qualify for the maternity leave payout.
I work for a large company that doesn't always get the best press, but the benefits are really top notch. I basically can't convince myself to leave because where else am I going to get 6 weeks of vacation time? Nowhere, that's where.
I don't think we have maternity leave for my company? Because STD isn't maternity leave, right? We qualify for FMLA after a year of full-time employment but my understanding is that that means your job is guaranteed for 12 weeks, it's not paid, right? (I wasn't with the company for a year when DS was born so I'm learning this as I go...)
Gah, the maternity and paternity leave policies here are making me sad
@laufisch we have one. My son had major gas issues and ended up sleeping in the grace swing and sleeper but I’m looking forward to using it. The big thing is that you don’t have to scoot down your bed to get out. I loved the swivel. I will prob get the mattress that goes with this time so it’s more comfy.
@calimom2524 I don’t mind discussing weight. My goal was to not gain weight during the first tri because I don’t need to... already 15 overweight. I had my appointment and I didn’t gain so I was very happy. I gained a ton last time so I’m really trying to eat better and be active- hard to do when we feel awful
@mrsbubbles-2 You're right about FMLA. It protects your job for 12 weeks, but it is unpaid. There's not maternity leave or STD with my job. My plan is to use all the leave I have accrued. I'll still have some unpaid leave because I won't have enough for 12 weeks paid, but I'll at least have enough to ensure my benefits will still be paid.
@mrsbubbles-2 correct FMLA is job protection, not paid. Can be used consecutively or intermittently. There are other rules, but that's the gist of it. STD isn't maternity leave but pregnancy is a disability in which it can be used for...but also surgeries, accidents, etc..
@delujm0 Ugh that year rule sucks, but I know some companies do it. I know DH working for the govt has to buy his STD if he wants it. Luckily, my organization it's automatic which is nice. In April I bump up to 2 years of service and I will get 7 weeks of PTO plus all the holidays and we have winter break.
I'm so thankful that we have such knowledgeable women on this board!
Is there a standard for STD pay or does it vary employer to employer? I might be in a position where I need to start job hunting soon, things are kind of up in the air with my current position. I'm not sure what to ask in the event that I do need to find new employment to make sure I'm as covered as I can be for maternity leave. Is maternity leave something that can even be negotiated upon new employment?
Sorry for so many questions, I never really understood how this works.
I'm so thankful that we have such knowledgeable women on this board!
Is there a standard for STD pay or does it vary employer to employer? I might be in a position where I need to start job hunting soon, things are kind of up in the air with my current position. I'm not sure what to ask in the event that I do need to find new employment to make sure I'm as covered as I can be for maternity leave. Is maternity leave something that can even be negotiated upon new employment?
Sorry for so many questions, I never really understood how this works.
I currently pay 50.00 a month for STD. I believe it varies by employer. The number of employees plays a part into the cost of the insurance. Also you can not negotiate maternity leave, it is usually standard. So what ever they offer is what you are able to obtain. My employer doesn’t have maternity leave that is why I signed up for STD. The thing about STD is it can’t be a preexisting condition. So since you are already pregnant they are not going to cover you. Do you have benefits through your current employer?
@ssthomps - I do, I got the STD last time with DS but now that I've been with the company for more than a year I'm in a different category for benefits and such. I think I'm going to have to call HR to get it all sorted. I do worry about the preexisting condition part in the event I need to find a new job, plus not qualifying again for FMLA isn't the end of the world but it hurt my heart that I had to go back after DS was born after 8 weeks (I took 2 weeks leave / unpaid leave to get to the 8 week mark)
@mrsbubbles-2 Definitely talk to your HR because STD plans can definitely vary from company to company as to if they are company paid or you have to pay it yourself, etc. The average I have seen at companies I have worked for can be they cover 60% - 80% of your salary. Vaginal deliveries are typically 6 weeks paid STD and c-sections are 8 weeks of coverage. There's typically also an "elimination period" where you wait for STD to kick in after you have a baby. For instance, my plan at my job is a 7 day elimination period which essentially means I have to use 5 days of my own leave before STD kicks in. From there, my plan allows me to supplement PTO with STD to get my full salary for that time, or I can use my PTO after my STD ends.
For FMLA - have you been at your current job for at least a year and worked at least 1,250 hours in that year?
@scottishlass1213 - I've been here a year and when baby comes I'll be just over the 1250 mark. The way that you explained STD makes so much more sense than the explanation I got last time with DS, same info (we have the same length elimination period and same STD coverage as you wrote above) but the explanation I got from my HR rep was so confusing and the answers I got were spread across multiple emails so I didn't have it all in one place. Thank you!!! I think I'll call HR Monday and get the ball rolling. Plus breast pump stuff! I want to know what models are covered ASAP so if I need to pay a fee to get the model I want I can plan now.
I've said it before, I'll say it again, I frickin our board! You ladies are the best!
@mrsbubbles-2 anytime! I don't know if your HR is near you where you can meet someone face to face to go over things. I always try to do that with our employees because it can be SUPER confusing all the different variations and the rules to try to explain to them via email/phone. I hope it works out for you though! It will be kind of weird doing my own leave this time hahaha....Ill have to fill everything out and I guess have my boss sign off on it for me so nothing looks shady LMAO
Also some companies require employees to use PTO/vacation in different formats in conjunction with STD, but mine is pretty liberal in which we allow employees options. So if you have an employee handbook, that may be helpful too.
@calimom2524 hey friend, I'm HR! You're California, and this is the one time that's awesome (kidding). FMLA/CFRA (most companies run FMLA & CFRA concurrently) and PDL protect your job- so you apply for both of those to give you job protection.
Your income protection comes from STD or from the California SDI coverage. But that's a separate application you complete directly with the state.
@mrsbubbles-2 Sorry I'm catching up here so double posting. In most states it's up to the employer whether they offer STD or not and whether it's paid. I can't remember what state you are in?
What was said above about the amount of coverage being 6 weeks for a vaginal birth or 9 weeks for a C is correct- usually you have the elimination period- ours is 1 week. But also the coverage is usually a percentage of your salary. Our is 60% of base salary. But like was mention I can use PTO concurrently.
Typically if it is a company policy there is no pre-existing conditions. For example, when I got our company to add the coverage, I was already 6 months pregnant. But if it is an individual election, like not every person has it and you have to buy the coverage- there may be a worry of pre-existing conditions.
Hope that helps! Sorry to hear your HR people were confusing. I hate it when people in my function make it more complicated than it needs to be.
@ladygali Yes! During my first pregnancy, about a 3” wide chunk of hair on the left side of my head decided to start coming in wavy. It lasted through my pregnancy with DS and only in my last pregnancy last year did it seem to go back to straight. It was so awkward whenever I’d want my hair to actually look nice because I’d have to spend extra time trying to get that section to straighten out.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
@neeraja_k you don't know how many times I have tried to explain to my grandmother in Scotland how shitty things are here for women. She just can't comprehend how I don't get a year paid off work for having a baby LOL
@calimom2524 hey friend, I'm HR! You're California, and this is the one time that's awesome (kidding). FMLA/CFRA (most companies run FMLA & CFRA concurrently) and PDL protect your job- so you apply for both of those to give you job protection.
Your income protection comes from STD or from the California SDI coverage. But that's a separate application you complete directly with the state.
I have hundreds of employees in California. I'm jealous of everything you guys get!
I had to re-read these questions to figure out if I asked this question then realized you were just being nice and telling me. I was actually going to ask about this. On my local mom group the other day it was asked how much paid leave we get. If I read the laws correctly, California pays you disability for 4 weeks before your due date then 6 weeks after you deliver and then longer if it was a c-section or you have any comlications including PPD/PPA. This is correct, yes?
@mrsbubbles-2 after I lost my job in October I received notice from AFLAC that I could continue paying for my STD plan (mine was around $60.00 a month) until I found a new job. Not sure which carrier you have but you can always ask if the same policy can continue with a new employer.
I made two claims total with my AFLAC STD policy ( childbirth and two months later gallbladder surgery) and was very pleased with their speedy payment and ease of the process.
@calimom2524 SDI will actually pay as long as your Dr says you are 'disabled'. I swear all my pregnant employees seem to go off MONTHS before they are due. I swear they are surfing and enjoying the paid leave lol
@calimom2524 SDI will actually pay as long as your Dr says you are 'disabled'. I swear all my pregnant employees seem to go off MONTHS before they are due. I swear they are surfing and enjoying the paid leave lol
Hahaha we don't ALL surf out here. I mean, I could try but it wouldn't be pretty.
@calimom2524 My employees are all southern CA- San Diego to Northern LA. You're different up there in the north. They should really break that state in half.
@laufisch That would make sense! They should put those two states together cause they act more like one than California lol
Re: Weekly Questions 2/19
I tried to take the fenugreek to increase my supply last time but it's like 9-12 pills a day you have to remember to take and I was just so sick of pills.
I think I have a bump crush
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Dh isnt good at taking pics so I didn’t want to be mad at him for not getting them or take him away from the experience.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
I asked this in our ticker change thread but I’ll ask here, too: did anyone else’s hair turn straight to curly after baby one and did it get more curly after baby 2+? Mine is now super curly in the back and I miss my straight hair!!
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
I only have the one kid, so I can't speak to what happens next. I'm actually hoping for more curls, as long as they are more consistent curls.
ETA: I found a picture of my hair 5 months post partum. You can see the bump in that one section, but the rest is pretty straight. But you can also see the curls in the lower layers.
My employer covers and pays for short term disability for all full time employees and has a separate maternity leave policy that guarantees salary continuation for 16 weeks, thank god.
I work for a large company that doesn't always get the best press, but the benefits are really top notch. I basically can't convince myself to leave because where else am I going to get 6 weeks of vacation time? Nowhere, that's where.
Gah, the maternity and paternity leave policies here are making me sad
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
@delujm0 Ugh that year rule sucks, but I know some companies do it. I know DH working for the govt has to buy his STD if he wants it. Luckily, my organization it's automatic which is nice. In April I bump up to 2 years of service and I will get 7 weeks of PTO plus all the holidays and we have winter break.
Is there a standard for STD pay or does it vary employer to employer? I might be in a position where I need to start job hunting soon, things are kind of up in the air with my current position. I'm not sure what to ask in the event that I do need to find new employment to make sure I'm as covered as I can be for maternity leave. Is maternity leave something that can even be negotiated upon new employment?
Sorry for so many questions, I never really understood how this works.
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Thanks for your response
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
For FMLA - have you been at your current job for at least a year and worked at least 1,250 hours in that year?
I've said it before, I'll say it again, I frickin
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Also some companies require employees to use PTO/vacation in different formats in conjunction with STD, but mine is pretty liberal in which we allow employees options. So if you have an employee handbook, that may be helpful too.
Your income protection comes from STD or from the California SDI coverage. But that's a separate application you complete directly with the state.
ETA: This chart is helpful for understanding how the separate laws interact:
https://pages.theabdteam.com/rs/abdinsurance/images/Leaves - Federal and CA leave comparison - revised 2014.pdf
I have hundreds of employees in California. I'm jealous of everything you guys get!
What was said above about the amount of coverage being 6 weeks for a vaginal birth or 9 weeks for a C is correct- usually you have the elimination period- ours is 1 week. But also the coverage is usually a percentage of your salary. Our is 60% of base salary. But like was mention I can use PTO concurrently.
Typically if it is a company policy there is no pre-existing conditions. For example, when I got our company to add the coverage, I was already 6 months pregnant. But if it is an individual election, like not every person has it and you have to buy the coverage- there may be a worry of pre-existing conditions.
Hope that helps! Sorry to hear your HR people were confusing. I hate it when people in my function make it more complicated than it needs to be.
Also, yes to the CA employees...man they have it good. We don't have any where I work, but man haha
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
I made two claims total with my AFLAC STD policy ( childbirth and two months later gallbladder surgery) and was very pleased with their speedy payment and ease of the process.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
@laufisch That would make sense! They should put those two states together cause they act more like one than California lol