TTC After a Loss

January TWW

124

Re: January TWW

  • I go here now too.  3 DPO and our timing was perfect so we shall see.  I don’t really have any intuition one way or the other.  I was hoping to wait for AF since I’m not sure what a BFN will do to me, but MH wants me to test as soon as I can so I guess I’ll humor him
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • @offtoneverland It's hard to say for sure if you're not sure exactly when you O'd, but, are you doing acupuncture? I may be misremembering. One of the things acupuncture can allegedly do is help women lengthen their LP, don't know if that's something that would only happen if the acupuncturist is trying to (some women have too short of an LP), or if it is a natural outcome of fertility related acupuncture. There can also be some natural variation in LP length, I had a set your clock by it 13 day LP for a while and then it was suddenly 15 days. 
    offtoneverland
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  • @lin0442 I can't believe I missed your post! Congratulations! Crossing everything for a sticky little bean.
    @zamora_spin I was wondering if it could be because of the acupuncture! I also started taking a new prenatal which has a higher vitamin B content, which I think I've heard can extend your LP too. But I started AF today finally and am pretty relieved that I can stop being crazy. I was getting some nasty indents on my Wondfos which had me second guessing my FRERs. And I scheduled my baseline u/s and HSG for next week! 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
    zamoraspin
  • Argh. Well it’s only 9dpo but BFN on Osom so far. I know it’s early but **TW my last pregnancy I got my BFP by 8/9dpo (FF and I disagreed by a day). Others I’ve had at 11dpo but I was able to turn digis by then...End TW**

    So... I know I’m not out for sure but not feeling optimistic anymore.
  • @zamora_spin with my last one I tested neg at 10 DPO but positive at 12 DPO.  So you are not out til AF shows.   FX for you and the other ladies still here 
    zamoraspingalactickates
  • edited January 2018
    @zamora_spin FX it's too early! I hate that guessing game of wondering if it's just too early if you're out. Are you planning to test again? 
    ETA: Messed up the tag.
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
  • etnyahetnyah member
    edited January 2018
    Not sure if I should go here or not now. I was originally waiting for my first post-MC AF, but my husband and I have BD'd a couple times recently and this morning I noticed my CM looking stretchy. I guess I didn't expect O to happen so soon. My doc told me to except AF in 4-6 weeks, and it's not even been two weeks since my MC. I don't know exactly when I O'd (or will O), but seems like it's around now.

    I have mixed feelings about this, I could really have used a break for my own sanity's sake - TWW sounds excruciating. I know I'll keep looking for symptoms in the next couple weeks. And how safe is it to get KU immediately after a MC? It was a very early MC (didn't even make it to 5 weeks), so maybe it'll be ok if it happens? The dating will be all messed up too, no idea which day I'd count as CD1.

    If I get a BFP I'll be happy and also worried. If I get a BFN I'll be disappointed and also relieved. Ugh, why does it have to be so complicated?
  • @offtoneverland Oh yes, once I started testing things get a little out of hand. It’s like a science experiment in my bathroom. 

    @gebretso Gl. Sometimes your cycle can ne wonky after loss, so if you aren’t strictly tracking it can be hard to say for sure when you O’d (my first post-loss cycle I had EWCM 10 or so days before O and never had it again, not saying that’s typical, just there is no typical).
    offtoneverland
  • @grebretso I definitely understand needing a break for sanity's sake. After my 2nd loss at about 4.5 weeks, my doctor asked me to take a cycle off, not for medical reasons, but just to make dating the possible next pregnancy easier. So at least for medical reasons, I don't think it's bad at all that you guys kind of accidentally tried this cycle. I completely get what you're saying about all of the mixed emotions. It's so hard! 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
  • @offtoneverland Yeah, after some googling there doesn't seem to be anything medically bad about trying this cycle, especially after such an early loss. The dating would be the only thing, but that's just a technicality. My doc didn't mention anything about holding off on trying (or having sex in general) either. In hindsight I probably should have asked him when he told me about my mc, but sex was the last thing on my mind in that moment. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens! Thanks for reassuring me! 
    offtoneverland
  • @grebretso we're also TTC before AF. There is no risk associated with conceiving in that first cycle. But it is confusing. I have no idea if my body is coming or going. Every day I cycle between thinking my HCG is still too high, to thinking I'm O'ing, to thinking I'm already PG. It's emotionally exhausting.
  • @kikimi83 Good to know I'm not the only one then! I haven't taken a pregnancy test after my mc, but I doubt a positive would mean leftover HCG from before as my levels were down to 13 during my last blood test, which was on the 19th. Seeing how the HCG left my body so rapidly, it would make sense for my cycle to return to normal sooner rather than later. I'm not even going to consider testing again until at least two weeks from now though! Emotionally exhausting is definitely the right phrase. 
    offtoneverland
  • Well, still BFN. I have had some dye run issues with the Osoms that have confused me but I think I'm just unlucky with tests and also I scrutinize them too much. 
  • Ugh sorry about the BFN @zamora_spin. What dpo are you again?  There’s always still a chance until AF comes. 

    AFM, my temp was still up higher this morning than last week, so if tmrws temp stays the same-ish, then FF moves my crosshairs to last Thursday instead of Tuesday. That would make my timing -1 instead of -4 and +1. Really hoping that’s the case!! 
    zamoraspin
  • @pumpkinpancake Hope the new O day is right! I am 10dpo. I know that is still technically early, but I've never had a first BFP past 11 dpo. I also had a temp drop today which doesn't seem encouraging. 
  • @zamora_spin Sorry about the BFN. I had one this morning too at 9dpo and I stared at it for like an hour trying to figure out if I could find another line. :# FX it is too early for both of us!
    offtoneverland
  • Sorry @zamora_spin boo for the temp drop and bfn. I wish I got bfps that early! But nooo! Lol
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Boo BFN @zamora_spin

    I'm so lost. My temp's been higher all week and I'm sure I'm feeling some soreness. But I can't even pinpoint an O. I think I'm obsessing...
  • Sorry everybody for the BFNs... I'm hoping there's at least 1 more BFP before the end of the month by someone!
  • Hopefully someone will get a Feb TWW going soon. ..I think I had a stalled O for a few days. Came down with influenza but ewcm continued until 19 dpo! I thought I was crazy! I guess it was a good thing I was paying attention....but I tell ya BD when you're sick is no Buenos! !  :D
  • It just occurred to me that if I do conceive around now I’ll be due around my 30th birthday. Lol! I’m gonna say the chances are slim though, which I don’t mind because I’d like to keep my birthday to myself. Both my dad and my sister’s birthdays are also in October, so it’s already crammed enough!
  • @grebretso my bday's in October as well. I always find it a crappy time of year to celebrate, too cold to do anything summer-y and yet not cold enough to do anything winter-y. 
    I'm likely here now but I'm just here to root everyone else on. DH is still too apprehensive about going down that road again. We may have one more shot tonight but last night we BD and DH put on a condom before I could say anything.... ugh.
  • @40momma - oh I'm so sorry :(  guess he's little nervous to get back into it?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • yeah the last year was definitely pretty hard on our relationship. I know everyone with kids will tell you it's so worth it in the end but since we are currently without any living children, all we can relate to is the pain and suffering that go along with TTC. I just wish I could look ahead to see if we would ever become successful and if I knew for sure we would get there someday, I would be willing to take those risks again. But knowing that all of this pain may be for nothing in the end, just plain sucks. 
    zamoraspindpjennifer
  • @40momma I'm sorry it does suck. Truth be told I'd like to quit right now. I'm just over it all by this point. I feel like I've been thru the ringer of emotions. I want to stop the ride and exit. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @40momma I’m so sorry you are struggling today.  It would be nice if you could see the future to know what would happen if you continued trying.  
  • 40momma That is EXACTLY how I feel! I wish I could know the future and know WHICH pregnancy would be successful, so I could relax and know when the happy live baby will be. OR if none of them will be successful, I want to know that too. So I can grieve my inability to ever have children, and to move past TTCAL and try to live a happy life childless. All this pain and suffering, when you are uncertain if it will ever work out, are so difficult. Especially when it's gone on for years, as we have done.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    galactickatesofftoneverland
  • @40momma @dpjennifer I agree with all of what you are saying. I just don't want to waste all this time and all these emotions if I'm not meant to have another baby. I'm fine with it, I just want to know so I can stop trying. 
    dpjenniferofftoneverland
  • Hugs to everyone today, since it seems like a lot of us are having a rough time. @40momma it’s so hard mentally to get back into trying again, not knowing what the future has in store. I’m sure this year has been tough on you and DH, so maybe it would be good for the two of you to go to counseling or therapy of some sort together to work through some of the emotions? Either way, it’s a sucky place to be in, and we’re all here for you. 
  • I'm actually thinking adoption now - but I'll see first what my doc suggests for an unexplained couple like us.  I just want happiness wether than means baby or not. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    acciocoffeerowedking6
  • I made the mistake of lurking a little on the newly opened October BMB this morning... probably not the best idea for my sanity’s sake.  Only 6dpo here and already getting antsy and wanting to pee on all the sticks, even if I know it’s way too early. At least, to me, the TWW is less stressful than WTO, since I’ve done all I can do at this point. But god does waiting suck! 
    zamoraspinofftoneverland
  • October birth month board already? @pumpkinpancake wow time is flying
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • zamoraspinzamoraspin member
    edited February 2018
    @40momma I’m so sorry YH is feeling apprehensive about trying again. I hope you are able to discuss it with him and get on the same page soon. 

    AFM Just WFAF at this point. Stopped my progesterone last night. 
  • Ughh 8 DPO...the urge to test is super strong! Even though I’m sure it won’t happen this month. The only I did get pregnant I took femara and we didn’t do that this month! 
  • @mrsjcrane I’m 8 DPO today too, I’m going to test tomorrow because I have no self control.  
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • @dpjennifer @acciocoffee @40momma CHEERS to what you are saying... that is SO how I feel.  If someone could tell me, “You’ll have a successful pregnancy in two years” I’d probably go “Wow, that sucks” but then I would feel so much better and relax.  It’s the uncertainty.  Stinks.  Big time.

    So in a spontaneous turn of events (which now that I’m thinking about it is what led to conceiving the last time, look at that, I’m a SS already) I’m here!  About three months sooner than I was thinking.  I saw a new naturopath today... his whole family carries different combos of MTHFR and he was so not freaked out about it... that now makes my OB, RE, and two NDs.  Lesson = chill, girl.  (He did want me to alter my diet to ridiculous levels, though, for a bunch of Chinese medicine reasons and other things and I said NOPE... I’ve cut wheat and dairy and I’m on board to cut way back on fruit and grains and pump up protein but this was like CRAZY restrictive and not going to happen!  Besides the point...) I’m taking the right form of folate and avoiding folic acid... OB will refer to MFM for an opinion if I get pregnant... if homocysteine is high (having drawn tomorrow) I’ll add more folate.  OB and RE both told me my hormone profile could make it harder to conceive but didn’t cause a blighted ovum.  I looked at DH tonight and was like “what if it happened again and worked... what if it just worked out without me spending my life’s savings on supplements and restricting the crap out of my diet and taking medication?”  I knew we had to give it a shot so here I am, closing out January... fertile CM and a positive OPK this morning, just waiting on the temp spike to confirm it.  Already feeling nervous.  
    dpjennifer
  • ccvslp  Glad you met with a new naturopath today and that seems to ease your mind some! And yes... the uncertainty kills.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    zamoraspin
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