TTC After a Loss
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January TWW

I figured we needed to start this thread. GL to all the January TWW's and BFPs.
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Re: January TWW

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    Well I’m going to here.  I’m still waiting on AF after MC but I’m pretty sure I ovulated last Thursday.  I initially self benched myself while waiting for genetic test results. However, last week we decided to NTNP until we met with RE which is Friday.  So while I’m not super hopeful we did BD three times last week so I guess there’s a chance 
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    @Mack2342 FK and good luck at the RE; I’ll be thinking about you and hoping the appt goes well.
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    woah, slow board! It's Jan 12, where are all the BFP's??? Come on ladies, let's get this going!! ;)
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    @40momma I’m 8 DPO I think and think I’m alone over here
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    @Mack2342 I’ll join you! I had a trigger shot on Wednesday night and just had my IUI today. DH’s sample looked great. RE said to do more BDing this weekend, in case. Progesterone check next Friday. FX
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    @cassafrass15 glad you are joining me.  FX it worked!   We always BD the night of IUI.  we will start ours back up when and if AF arrives.  
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    Good luck ladies! I won't be here until mid next week.
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    @mack2342 I'll join you too! I'm not officially in the TWW yet, but I got a positive OPK yesterday and today, so O should be tomorrow. Hope it's okay that I'm joining here a tad bit early. I haven't been on this board for long so I'm not sure what the norm is. Was your RE appointment today? How did it go? I just scheduled my first RE appointment for the week after next. 
    @cassafrass15 Good luck to you! 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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    @offtoneverland we are pretty casual group and most ladies chime in on all boards so it’s fine if you jump over a tad early.  Yes I had RE consult....it was fine. So my last MC was chromosomal triploidy and we know that 2 sperm entered egg. He said my eggs are permissible so instead not allowing another sperm it did.  Yes we know this time but that doesn’t mean they all are.  He explained our options moving forward which are the same naturally, medicated timed, medicated IUI (which is what we’ve been doing) or IVF.  He explained cost for IVF which aren’t as high as I thought and he said they would just inject one sperm into egg to make sure it was not triploidy. Our odds are not very high any way as I’m over 40.  So IVF doesn’t seem right financially for us since we have DS. But to me it seems to be the best option.  I think we are sticking with treatments.  DR did say if it were him he would try again.  Which we were already thinking that Just weighing our options.  We already started basically and AF hasn’t even returned from MC. If AF starts next week then I will call them to start IUI process and get my prolactin level checked as it was still a little high at the 2 week mark.  Here’s to hoping I’m KU and no AF. 
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    @Mack2342 I'm glad your appointment went well. It sounds like your RE was really helpful and explained everything in detail. That's great that you've come to a decision you're comfortable with (trying again) and I'm very hopeful for you that this cycle will work out so you won't have to continue treatments or consider IVF. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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    I’m actually 11 DPO so I belong over here too. Haven’t ever replied in this board. Any helpful tips on dealing with the waiting game for the TWW? I feel like this month’s wait is taking forever.
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    @Knottie1467758220 not a lot of help as I go BSC about 10 DPO and start testing.   If I stay busy it helps 
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    @Mack2342 haha I feel like I’m going BSC right now. I tested early the first month we began ttc after my mmc and it made me more stressed out as it was negative and AF came the next day. So for me I’ve been trying to hold off til at least the date of AF scheduled to arrive. None of this is easy though and I’m trying to stay busy.
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    @Knottie1467758220 The waiting game is so hard! I haven't found any tips or tricks to get through it either. I usually try to watch a good show or read a book so I can distract myself, but that's easier said than done. I find that once I start POAS I can't stop, so in my last few cycles I've been trying to hold off as long as I can, which still hasn't been very long.  :# Good luck to you! 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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    @Mack2342 I’m so glad you guys have a plan. I don’t know why, but just having a plan makes me feel so much better about this whole TTC process. Maybe because it restores a moticum of control over the situation? I dunno. My RE also suggested that IVF might be our best route and that, after 3 early losses in 2017, my body might be “too accepting” of all embryos, as opposed to just the “good ones.” I want to try a few more rounds of medicated IUI first...

    @offtoneverland Welcome to the board!

    @Knottie1467758220 Welcome! I’ve been here a while and have zero clue how to not be crazy with testing every month. The best advice I can give you is that if you’re going to join me and many other ladies in BSC town, buy cheapie HCG tests in bulk online. Then at least your not breaking the bank while losing your marbles!
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    @cassafrass15 I totally agree about buying a big stock of cheapie HPTs. My first few cycles trying I was reluctant to buy them because I kept thinking "For sure this cycle will be it and then I'll be stuck with dozens of tests I don't need." So I kept wasting money on FRERs. I definitely learned my lesson! That's really interesting about your RE saying your body might too accepting of all embryos instead of only the good ones. I didn't even realize that was a thing, so that's really interesting to know about. Good luck with your medicated IUIs! 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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    vlagrl29vlagrl29 member
    edited January 2018
    @Mack2342 at my clinic Ivf cash pay is 14k but that's not including meds. So expensive!! As it is right now if we do the clomid we are only out for the meds at $200 for the u/s.
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    @vlagrl29 it is expensive.  We would have some med coverage but still expensive and if we did it we would add the genetic testing so a couple thousand more.  I pay about $175 for each medicated cycle but my insurance covers a portion and good chunk of meds.  
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    @offtoneverland Yeah, I had read about the “too accepting” ute theory briefly before, but didn’t give it much credence until my RE mentioned it. Of course, there could also be a myriad of other reasons for my RPL, but it’s nice to think that someday my overly-accepting body will accept that “good one” and this will all be over!

    @Mack2342 You must have a better version of the federal employee insurance than I do - mine will cover some “testing” for infertility treatments, but I have zero coverage for actually “treating” any issues we find. Sigh.
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    Ours covers nothing not even testing. Luckily I got my testing done a year ago with an OB that coded everything abnormal period to get it covered.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    @cassafrass15 @mack2342 Are you both federal employees? I am too. My insurance brochure didn't explain much besides infertility testing after 12 months, so I'm curious to hear how much I'll have to pay for any testing the RE recommends.
    @vlagrl29 That's awesome that your OB was able to code it as abnormal periods!
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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    yeah it was thank goodness @offtoneverland but when I told my RE about it last week she wondered how she did that because it's insurance fraud for the HSG cause they don't do one of those for abnormal periods.  Oh well.  My RE clinic has a cash pay of $600 for an HSG OMG - if we had to pay that we wouldn't of gotten it done.  That's outrageous.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    @cassafrass15 and @offtoneverland yup federal employee.  In the state of OH, HMO insurances have to cover fertility testing and some treatments. So mine covers 50% of everything except IVF it covers zero.  Insurance also covers medication.  I researched and re researched all insurance options and the state law regarding fertility and insurance when I selected my insurance before we started TTC in case I had to go this route since I was 39 when we first started TTC.  We didn’t need it first go had my DS and then shortly after started for #2 and after 2 MCs we went to treatments since I’m now 42
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    @offtoneverland Yep - federal employee over here. I’m in AZ so I don’t have all of the coverage @Mack2342 has in OH, but they do cover some things. For example, for my HSG and endometriosis removal laparoscopy, I only paid co-pays. But that was likely because my RE coded those as “recurrent loss.” I only pay co-pay for ultrasounds and office visits, but any medication or ART procedure is OOP. If you get a smart RE, their office will know how to code things in their billing to be sure that anything that can be covered, will be!
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    @offtoneverland here is a list of states that have some fertility insurance mandate 

    Arkansas
    Illinois
    Montana
    Rhode Island
    California
    Louisiana
    New Jersey
    Texas
    Connecticut
    Maryland
    New York
    West Virginia
    Hawaii
    Massachusetts
    Ohio
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    Fed here too. However, Mack2342 Feds are exempt from following what their state says. So even though I work in Maryland, the govt. insurance only covers the fertility testing and NOT IVF or whatnot. Annoying!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

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    @Mack2342 Thank you for the list!
    @dpjennifer I'm in Maryland too! That's good to know, thank you for sharing. My insurance brochure says it doesn't cover IVF at all, so your statement makes sense with what I've seen. It's so stupid though! I don't understand why more insurances don't cover it. :/ I haven't looked at any of the other available insurance types though to see what they cover. However, I don't foresee having to get IVF (although, you never know), but I'll see how much of the testing will be covered. Hopefully mine will be similar to yours and cover the testing!
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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    This is a good website that talks about insurance coverage for infertility and whatnot. It also talks about how to request IVF and other coverage from your work. They even have some 'form' type letters you can send. https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/insurance-coverage/health-insurance-101/
    Here's the part of the site (under Step 2) that talks about Feds https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/insurance-coverage/coverage-at-work/your-employer-and-your-options/

    I've been wanting to advocate more for this... but my plans have fallen through the cracks. I had no idea there were so many feds on TTCAL!  Maybe we should make a pact to follow through with the steps and checkup/update each other on how it goes?

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

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    I'm going to move over here now I think since I'm CD20 currently.
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    Hi there! Haven't introduced myself before, but happy to e-meet all of you. I'm really hoping that talking with some women who have actually been through loss and who are TTCAL will help me as my DH and I move forward. This was my first pregnancy and first loss.

    The thing I've heard the most is "I know someone/many women who had no problems and got pregnant right away - next month!" I swear... is this something ppl just say because they think it helps? Or, is it reslly true for a lot of women?

    I'm 8DPO and waiting, waiting! I'm a big distraction freak for the TWW - lots of baking, games, and even talked my DH into a random Ikea trip lol really hoping for a BFP on my first re-try here, but nervous to get too optimistic.

    Best wishes to everyone here!!
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    Welcome @wlynnscott06. I'm so sorry that you find yourself here. Regarding your question, I've heard the same thing too-that women are really fertile following loss. However, from what I've seen on the boards, it doesn't really seem all that typical to get pregnant again right away. I'm sorry that people have been repeatedly telling you that. It's not all that helpful for sure! 
    Great job distracting yourself this TWW. Now I want to go to IKEA. I may have to drag MH there this weekend. :)
    @dpjennifer Thank you for the links. I'll let you know what I hear about what my insurance will cover after my appointment!
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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    wlynnscott06  I think the PG right away thing is a hopeful myth. I mean, it could be true... but every person is different. It depends on your body, what caused your first MC, how long it takes your body to go back to 'normal' after MC, etc. Don't get your hopes up. After my first MC I was told that it was probably just a fluke and that a lot of women have a MC and go on to have a happy, healthy PG after that with no problems. My OB was SOOoo optimistic. So I came in all hoping that maybe I'd get PG within a few cycles, get out of this group, and go on to have my happy rainbow baby...  well, over 2 years and 3 more MC later, I'm still here. So I'm just saying that it could go either way and don't get your hopes too high. Better to be happily surprised than to be depressed because you expected something to happen within a very short time frame.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

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    @wlynnscott06 my sister and one of my best friends did but clearly not the case for me and most of us on this board. Everyone is different. Welcome and sorry for your loss. 
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    @wlynnscott06 so sorry for your loss but welcome to the board. I haven’t researched it to know if it’s based in science, but I’ve heard the same thing said many times about being “more fertile” after a loss. I don’t know that I really believe it though, just from my own personal experience and that of those others on this board. I think it really depends on your own body and what caused you to have a loss. I’ve also heard some people say that it depends on how late in the pregnancy the loss was, but who knows really?  In the end, my approach has been to try to not get overly hopeful each cycle, so that I'm not as disappointed if it doesn’t happen. The mind plays lots of games with you after a loss, so take it easy on yourself. It’s great to have this community of women who get what you’re going through. We’re here if you need us. 
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    @wlynnscott06 - We have a living child that is almost 7 and it only took 1 month to get pg with her.  With our loss it took 6 months - not bad.  Currently on our 12th month :(  not a thing any doc can find off with me or DH.  I had people tell me - at least you can get pregnant - I already knew that.
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    @vlagrl29 The platitudes can be tough. Lately I’ve gotten really tired of people saying ‘Well at least you have a lot of time left.’ I’m turning 30 in a couple months, and I understand what they mean, but uh I’d like a child in my life and I’ve been trying since I was 27. Even DH has said it a couple times and I just need to back out of the conversation when he does. 
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    @lin0442 - I don't have plenty of time :(  as I'd love to take a break from it all I can't afford to.  I'm 37 but started trying #2 when I just turned 36.  I'll be 38 in may.  I told DH this is the last year I want to TTC - it's  a tiring process.
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