@MJDsquared@clovelyone yep. Same here. They mean it as a compliment.... but to me I'm like... hey I'm not normally this big! Do I always look this big to you?!? Haha Why comment on size at all...
So myself and another friend at work are pregnant and our boss keeps making the dumbest jokes about being fat. He says to me the other day "are you still going to Orange Theory Fitness?" to which I reply "no". He proceeds to say "I didn't think so since you've put on some weight". He knows I'm pregnant but for some reason he thinks jokes like that are funny. He told the bigger boss, about my friend "she's not fat, she's pregnant.
@casace I'm not sure how big your company is, but if I were in that situation I would speak with HR. Personally, I think having your boss comment on your weight qualifies as harassment.
@leilagphillips I am just going to equate it to him being an absolute moron in the situation. I know it bugs my friend more so I "jokingly" let him know that if he made another comment like that to my friend she was liable to punch him. Also I had a witness so I "jokingly" turned and said "sorry but you have now become my witness". Later on he was talking about someone and I asked if it was the "fit one with the nice athletic body" to which he goes "like me?" and I roll my eyes and said "yeah okay" very sarcastically. He was semi offend so I told him "I guess we are even now". Although he looked for his insult. This pregnancy I've decided pretty much nothing can phase me. Last time I was offend people would tell me I wasn't going to make my due date. I was convinced I was looking oh so good only to realize I gained 50 lb and looking back at the pictures I was huge. I was carrying a 9 and a half pounder so at his point I feel accomplished and could care less. I decided that just for shits and giggles I am going to come up with something insulting to say back and watch the fallout of them being offend lol
@casace I'm glad you're not letting it get to you. I think if it was just one time, I would let it slide, but if it was being brought up repeatedly I would definitely have a problem. I also work for a huge, male dominated company that has had to combat decades of basically institutionalized sexual harassment in the workplace, so that definitely influences my opinion on the matter.
@leilagphillips It would have to be a pattern where he comments only on women's weight. If he says something about everyone's weight (men, too), he's an idiot, but you wouldn't have any grounds for harassment because weight is not a protected class. If he repeatedly makes comments about the women's bodies, though, that could definitely be a problem.
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@leilagphillips and @cait5413 where I work I understood it's only a harassement issue if it's associated with some short of health issue and then that person would be in a protected class.
He he told me today as I stuff a donut down my throats (shipley's just opened here and they are delicious!) "it must be for the baby". I said no...I don't need an excuse...it's for me and it's delicious thank you! He then asked where the box was lol
@casace correct, health issues are protected under the ADA. But repeatedly commenting on women's bodies (and only women's) could be construed as sexual harassment and creating a hostile work environment. It would have to be a repeated pattern and would have to make people feel uncomfortable.
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@cait5413 men are idiots. Some much more than others. I can't equate this one to sexual harassement...doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. But I wonder if I can get some workmans comp because I feel my eyes are going to be hurt or sprained from all the eye rolling I do when he says dumb things lol
@TigerCakes I haven't read this whole thread, but I'm pretty sure that isn't kosher or legal... I've mentioned some of the things I've heard at my office to HR not as a reporter, but I'm friends with the recruiter, and she has said comments I've received which are nowhere near that are reportable, so I imagine what you experienced 100% was.
Just to jump in and vent along with you ladies, because it's been a rough week. I NEVER dealt with any comments with my first, everyone I worked with (customer and employee) was super sweet and respectful of me.
The place I work at now is SO insensitive. I can't even say it's the ratio of men:women because I've always worked in more predominantly male environments. The women at my current work are just as bad as the men.
I've had to deal with people I don't know or know well just touching my belly, which I, luckily, didn't have to deal with when I was pregnant with my first.
I've also gotten the "you can barely tell you're pregnant" and "the HOLY COW!!! when are you due?!?!" I'm 5'1" there is nowhere for this baby to go but out!
I also had a women mention how wide I was... which is exactly what everyone woman wants to hear, especially whilst pregnant.
The men commenting on how "big" I am cracks me up because they have huge beer guts. I just say "I may be big now, but I know in about a year mine will go away. How long have you had yours?"
@txmomma16 my nephew was 7 weeks early. He obviously had to stay in the nicu. When she was discharged the orderly her out said "you ain't got no baby?" It made furious. She was crying and o was pissed. What if her baby died? What an asshole that person was. People are so stupid sometimes
@jesrude Yea I'm debating filing a complaint with HR. I want to see if I get a raise in October (which I should) and if my maternity leave plan gets approved first. If they don't go how I want them to go I will definitely be complaining.
After I told a group of people in a meeting that I'm having a boy - one woman asked "Is that what you wanted?"
Thankfully everyone else in the meeting reacted like normal human beings and were like why in the world would you ask that?! I told her that I just wanted a healthy baby.
After I told a group of people in a meeting that I'm having a boy - one woman asked "Is that what you wanted?"
Thankfully everyone else in the meeting reacted like normal human beings and were like why in the world would you ask that?! I told her that I just wanted a healthy baby.
you should have told her you were very upset because you wanted a unicorn
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
When my step mom asked me "how's baby?" for the fourth time in the same conversation, I told her he's successfully realizing his dream of turning into a dinosaur. She gave me the stink eye. My dad, without missing a beat, asked what type. DH matter-of-factly responded: T-rex. And then we went on with dinner.
@dkizz82 Ugh, that would make me rage. I was lucky my baby was doing great and still where he needed to be, but I cannot imagine the rage I would feel if someone asked me that while my child was fighting for his life, or god forbid had lost the fight. Ugh!
Me: 30 DH: 31
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #1 07/2016 BFN
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
My friend is 26 weeks pregnant with twins and she looks fabulous. She said people have asked her if she wants to jump off a bridge (because she'll have 3 boys and all under 2). Wtf people?
I wasn't told today that wearing tight clothing wasn't good for me or the baby. Apparently I need to wear the "tent" style shirts they used to wear back in the day..
So literally EVERY TIME I tell someone I'm having twins, they feel the need to tell me about some long lost relative or friend who had twins once. I swear to god, someone went into a story about how his grandmother had twins in 1942. Lol. Ok that's totally relevant to me dude.
A couple of days ago, my next door neighbor said to me "wow! I haven't seen you for a week and your stomach has popped!! Are you like due tomorrow?" cue blood boiling. I wanted to scream "I'm 24 weeks pregnant with my second baby in a year and a half. OF COURSE I look pregnant you nimrod!" but instead I just awkwardly laughed and said "not yet. Thanks, though" haha
@breezybee I admit that I'm guilty of mentioning my twin nephew and niece whenever someone tells me that they have/are pregnant with twins. I'm obsessed with them!
@breezybee@blueskies17I also have heard a lot of twin stories lately, but generally they don't bother me as long as they're positive! I'm still in that combo terrified/excited mindset, so hearing good stories about people's random twin experiences keeps me optimistic! I thought it was funny though that one woman I know from work didn't even mention to me until weeks after I told her I was having twins that she herself is a twin. I guess she figured I'd heard enough of the twin anecdotes since she's probably experienced it her whole life!
@leilagphillips I only have good stories to share about them They are wonderful and hilarious little kids (7 now) with built-in playmates. My sister had a smooth, uneventful pregnancy with them (they went to full term- 39 weeks!)
Haha @blueskies17 and leilagphillios. It doesn't bother me at all, I just find it funny that everyone has some rando in their life that has something to do with twins lol.
I work in a pharmacy. The other day I had a customer come in looking for a recommendation for an OTC for bloating and gas. He described his symptoms as, "I feel about like you look only I'm not pregnant."
Gee, thanks. All the time.
Fortunately I haven't been super emotional and could just laugh it off. It wasn't meant maliciously, but it was still a little annoying.
I work at a CDC and my classroom is on the far in if the building so I have to walk allot I jokingly said I was gonna buy a segway so I didn't have to walk and the lady at the front desk goes "really you aren't even that pregnant yet are you" and I go actually I'm 25 weeks and walking hurts thanks. And walked away
@sierragood Ugh! People are the worst! I HATE when people say that. It's like the comments about sleep after baby. Yes, I recognize that things can get worse, but don't belittle me for being miserable now!
Me: 30 DH: 31
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #1 07/2016 BFN
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
@SierraGood love your response. Thankfully no one has given me any kind of reaction to parking in handicap spots. I got a placard signed off by my OB bc parking at work is ridiculous, and I literally have to take a break to catch my breath when walking to the building. It's good until Feb, so I'm taking full advantage of it until then.
In the elevator the other day someone asked what I was having. I smiled and said, "it's a girl!" And the other person said, "oh." Like she was disappointed? I was like, wtf? It's not YOUR baby.
I went for my 6 monthly check up with my dentist on Thursday, and he asked me how many weeks pregnant I was, to which I replied "22 weeks". He then said to me, "gosh he's going to be a big bugger, your already huge" really?? I put it down to the fact that he is only young and a guy so I'll let it pass. I didn't even think I was that big, obviously I do now
Well, I got my first unsolicited size comment tonight, and instead of backing off, the guy doubled down! He was one of the servers at the function hall where we were having our dinner. First he comes up to me out of the clear blue and say "let me guess...... October 2nd." I paused for a second and said no, December 4th. His jaw drops... "Whaaaat? You must be having triplets!" I said no, just one. So he said "good luck" in that "you're totally fucked" tone and walked away.
I work at a church so every Sunday is like walking through a gauntlet of crazy old ladies. Lately they all say "You don't look 6 months. You keep getting smaller!" First, I've seen my weight and that's not true. Second, after 2 losses all I want to hear is that things are normal. Tell me I look fine for goodness sake. I worry enough!
Chatting on the phone with my coworker. For reference, we had a coworker who gave birth to a 12-pound baby. We were talking about how big my baby might be, blah blah, and then she mentions this 12-lb baby. CW: I'd be saying give me the drugs on that one! Me: I'll be saying that even if she's only like seven pounds! CW: No, you don't want to do that! You'll be fine without them.
I then told her it has always been and will continue to be my plan to get the epidural, and she kept arguing trying to tell me I shouldn't. Um, excuse me? You had your chance at this like 9 years ago. If you have another kid, that's when you can decide on a birth plan, but your input is not welcome on mine.
Re: Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
He he told me today as I stuff a donut down my throats (shipley's just opened here and they are delicious!) "it must be for the baby". I said no...I don't need an excuse...it's for me and it's delicious thank you! He then asked where the box was lol
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
Just to jump in and vent along with you ladies, because it's been a rough week. I NEVER dealt with any comments with my first, everyone I worked with (customer and employee) was super sweet and respectful of me.
The place I work at now is SO insensitive. I can't even say it's the ratio of men:women because I've always worked in more predominantly male environments. The women at my current work are just as bad as the men.
I've had to deal with people I don't know or know well just touching my belly, which I, luckily, didn't have to deal with when I was pregnant with my first.
I've also gotten the "you can barely tell you're pregnant" and "the HOLY COW!!! when are you due?!?!" I'm 5'1" there is nowhere for this baby to go but out!
I also had a women mention how wide I was... which is exactly what everyone woman wants to hear, especially whilst pregnant.
The men commenting on how "big" I am cracks me up because they have huge beer guts. I just say "I may be big now, but I know in about a year mine will go away. How long have you had yours?"
Thankfully everyone else in the meeting reacted like normal human beings and were like why in the world would you ask that?! I told her that I just wanted a healthy baby.
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
She gave me the stink eye.
My dad, without missing a beat, asked what type.
DH matter-of-factly responded: T-rex.
And then we went on with dinner.
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN
IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
On a positive note: I'm 24 weeks today! Milestone!
cue blood boiling. I wanted to scream "I'm 24 weeks pregnant with my second baby in a year and a half. OF COURSE I look pregnant you nimrod!"
but instead I just awkwardly laughed and said "not yet. Thanks, though" haha
Edited to add: See, I went and did it again...
i can't believe someone actually said that to you. Grrr
Gee, thanks. All the time.
Fortunately I haven't been super emotional and could just laugh it off. It wasn't meant maliciously, but it was still a little annoying.
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN
IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
Asshole.
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
Me: No.
"You have to! It's your chance to be a human submarine."
Me:
Brought to you by my overly-enthusiastic coworker.
CW: I'd be saying give me the drugs on that one!
Me: I'll be saying that even if she's only like seven pounds!
CW: No, you don't want to do that! You'll be fine without them.
I then told her it has always been and will continue to be my plan to get the epidural, and she kept arguing trying to tell me I shouldn't. Um, excuse me? You had your chance at this like 9 years ago. If you have another kid, that's when you can decide on a birth plan, but your input is not welcome on mine.
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020