I'll start... Last week I was on a business trip in London and went to the market to pick up a quick dinner from a Thai food stand. The woman running the stand asked me if I was pregnant and then told me that I should be eating home cooked food. I'm trying to give you business and I'm 3500 miles from home, lady!
"You've got a tiny bump, that must mean a tiny baby." Nope. Measuring 3 days ahead, thank you.
"Did your employer know that you're pregnant, when they offered you a permanent contract? I'm sure they'd have loved to know that." Thank you so much Sir, for a. implying that the status of my uterus influences my past and present work, b. implying that I should open myself up to possible discrimination, c. assuming that my employer and I didn't have any prearranged agreements and d. for showing you're a narrow-minded prick, who was born about 50 years too late. (I already shared this one before, but it still infuriates me!).
I mean, sure sometimes, but giving up alcohol is so completely worth it that this shouldn't even be a question. Also it's not like drinking was my only pastime. It's weird that this is sometimes the first question people ask me.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@blueskies17 No joke, I almost started this yesterday! Thanks for this! @whiska OH MY GOD YES. I'm so damn sick of that question. Especially when I keep getting it from the same people. Like, it's been a week, I already told you I was lucky enough to have no morning sickness/nausea, what do you think has changed? (Maybe they're hoping I'll say I'm tired so they can say, "Just you wait.") The only other time in my life I remember getting the same questions over and over to the point of annoyance like this was when college was looming. I remember we were going to dinner at the home of the parents of a friend of my brother and I didn't know them, so I told my mom, "I'm not going if they're going to ask me about college plans." Lol.
Some older woman at the office yesterday who heard through the grapevine about my pregnancy. "I thought you were pregnant! I noticed you have gained some weight!" like she was complimenting me. I have lost a lot of weight during this pregnancy. I have HG. I basically told her off.
This was not when I was pregnant, but ***TW*** it was after my miscarriage which happened while I was out of town on business so work knew we were trying. ***End TW*** I found out one of the men on my team was making more than me I complained to my boss. Despite having more experience, more education and better performance than him my boss didn't care. She told me that the company has other benefits that are good for my lifestyle and I wouldnt want to leave given my situation. So basically we know you're trying to get pregnant so we don't have to pay you fairly because we're confident you won't leave.
@peachy13 When people ask me "do you miss drinking?" I've taken to answering "every time I'm asked that question." And it usually curbs further lifestyle, "do you miss..." questions.
my last pregnancy was twins, so I think literally everyone has asked if its just one this time. I'm ready to smack someone if they ask again. just because it was twins before does not mean it will be twins again.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Call me crazy, but I hate when people say they can barely notice I'm pregnant . I mean, I'm not skinny and didn't have rock hard abs, but my stomach was nowhere near the size it is now. It's like basically you're saying I'm fat so it doesn't look any different. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm as big as Demi Moore in her naked pregnant photo shoot LOL (OK, I'm not that big, but I feel huge).
I love how interested complete strangers or even random family members are in my boobs!! "Are you going to breast feed?" Well, that's none of your business, TYVM.
Ive gotten "so this one was an accident. You'd never have 2 under 2!" Again, not your business. But I'd never admit to anyone besides my immediate family and close friends that yes, this one was ALSO an accident.
My mom has been on this kick of trying to get us to move into a bigger house BEFORE this one is born. That's 4ish months. That's not going to happen. The housing market in California, like so many other places, is a shit show.
"You're going to have to hire some help! You can't take care of twins alone!" Uuuummm, yes I can, I'm going to be a SAHM and I'm not super rich. I'm not paying someone to come when I'm not working myself. Thanks anyway.
"You're only ____ weeks???!!!!! You're going to be HUGE!!!!" Yes. Thank you. I'm fully aware.
"You're only _____ weeks? Wow, you're still so early." Or "You still have a long way to go." This one especially bugs me. Because every single day that I'm still pregnant with these guys is a fucking miracle and one day closer to them being real, live, cooing, crying, pooping babies. And saying that I'm still so early is diminishing how much work I've put into this already and how important this is. It almost feels like they're not counted yet by other people and that really fucking bugs me.
@whiska "how are you feeling?" That also drives me completely crazy!
@moonlady-2 I had a very similar situation happen with DH's aunt. When we announced to DH's family her response in front of about 30 people was "oh! You're pregnant I thought you had just gained weight"
I was completely mortified and I had actually lost weight, she just hadn't seen us since our wedding 3 years ago.
Me: 28 | DH: 30 BFP #1 April 12, 2017 EDD December 19, 2017
@splsmama2016 I hate that! I got a lot of "was this planned?" from people after announcing because my kidddos will only be 19 months apart. I don't know why people think it's okay to ask that! None of your business, thanks.
@moonlady-2 when we told my mil (I feel like I talk about her too much here) she said "I guess that's why you never bothered losing all the weight from (dd)." Why do people think it's okay to comment on a woman's weight, breaststroke, belly size, diet, etc just because they are pregnant?? Ugh.
@whiska I had a complete stranger (a middle-aged man) in the grocery store ask me "is this your first?" and "how do you feel?" Um..... why do you give the slightest of shits "how I feel", we've never met before and we'll never see each other again. The whole thing just seemed weird to me. I get he was (probably? hopefully?) just trying to be nice, but like @MJDsquared said, you end up having to answer this question SO many times over and over for the same people, it's even more bizarre to be getting it from a stranger.
@Tennis11785 good point! It's usually a question asked by women who have never been pregnant before or men, so that's interesting. And sometimes after I respond the person will be like "I don't know if I could do that/I don't know how you do it."
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@wabash15 Yup, every single person. "Is there just one in there?"
If it's not that for both pregnancies, you're so small. I do carry the weight well and luckily haven't gained too much, but I still don't know if this is considered a compliment or not?
@kaylawing we have gotten the planned question too, probably because they will be 18 months apart when this one comes.
the old lady with the weight gain comment also asked if this was planned. not that it's any of her effing business but yeah, it was, and i have been married for 9 years. eff off!
I was asked if my doctors were okay with me getting pregnant again since my husband and I are carriers of a genetic disorder asswipe.
When I was pregnant with my first, a coworker said "I can't imagine how you could get any bigger". I was 35 weeks. Jokes on her though, she was huge during her pregnancy lol
In addition, since I'm married to my wife, lots of people feel like it's appropriate to ask things like, "omg, how did you do it?", or "how did you decide who was going to carry?"
Super personal questions from people I don't know very well, who I guess are curious and think they have the right to ask.
My wife replied to someone who asked "how did you do it," and said, "doggy style." Shut them up really quickly.
Especially first trimester when I was exhausted and nauseous and cranky, I really didn't know how to answer- in some cases I did tell random acquaintances some personal information I wish I hadn't. I was just caught off guard and annoyed and blurted something out. Now I am just saying that the details are not their business.
___ Due date 12/9 I can't figure out the pregnancy countdown tickers, but I do know how to make a signature! #40andpregnant
As of 12/15/2017, my new hashtag is #41 and pregnant!
In addition, since I'm married to my wife, lots of people feel like it's appropriate to ask things like, "omg, how did you do it?", or "how did you decide who was going to carry?"
Super personal questions from people I don't know very well, who I guess are curious and think they have the right to ask.
My wife replied to someone who asked "how did you do it," and said, "doggy style." Shut them up really quickly.
Especially first trimester when I was exhausted and nauseous and cranky, I really didn't know how to answer- in some cases I did tell random acquaintances some personal information I wish I hadn't. I was just caught off guard and annoyed and blurted something out. Now I am just saying that the details are not their business.
I'm just surprised at how many people bring up the fact that I'm pregnant. I mean, I am showing, but it's still small and my own personal policy is to NEVER EVER EVER bring up a woman's pregnancy unless she has already brought it up first. Just in case.
Seriously, like half a dozen people have said something. "I didn't know you were pregnant!", or "You are looking different *wink* *wink*" (yes, referring to pregnancy; no, I wasn't sure, either).
TCC since Feb 2013 No, I'm not an early bird, but that doesn't mean I'm a night owl.... I guess I'm an afternoon duck? Type A personality, Type B body First BFP with donor sperm 04/11/2017
I got my first "are you sure there is only 1 in there!?" Comments the other day. I'm not even that big. I've actually lost weight this time around thanks to HG.
and when I tell people we are having another boy "oh so you'll have another to try for a little girl..". No, just no.
Started work back this morning (I'm a teacher). Another teacher said "well baby is making herself known today"! Yes thank you for calling me fat and I can't help I'm showing so much, 3rd pregnancy, it happens.
I keep being told it looks like I just have a food baby. Not a real baby because I'm so small. I guess it's supposed to be a compliment.... but I'm not sure why people feel the need to comment on size at all...
We have a fringe friend who drives me nuts any time I actually make it to a social gathering by constantly barking at anyone who comes near me that there is a baby present and not to swear or bump me or be too loud etc etc etc. she just goes on and on about how I need to have a party after the baby is born and acting like she will for some reason be super involved once he is here. Lady, this is not your baby and we are not besties go police your own space and leave me be.
I have a son already so when people find out this one is a girl they inevitably say "Oh, perfect! Now you'll have a complete family!". WTF? An alive baby is all we wanted, the sex wasn't even a thought. If it was another boy, would we be 'incomplete'?
Also lots of "OMG! You're only 22 weeks?!" Yep, assholes, when you have three pregnancies go into the second tri in one year, your body kind of knows the routine.
Me: 38 l DH: 41 Gavin - 8/27/10 *TW* Gabriel - 2nd tri loss 5/17/16 Trisomy 18 & 21 Hope - 2nd tri loss 12/7/16 complications from pneumonia
@thatlauragirl SAME with the "one boy and a girl on the way! You're complete - What a perfect family! " comments. I just find it so odd to hear; as if another boy would cause us to be a defective family? and while I know it's not meant this way but we'd like 3 kids soooo the subconscious comments on the totality of my family size are noticed and not appreciated.
I get the boy/girl comments often. We already have one of each and are expecting one of each, so people generally say "oh, that's perfect" I usually just respond with, "yeah the kids each got what they wanted"
blueskies17
member
Re: Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women
April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal
June 2016 - HSG clear
*TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16
BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17
DS - 12/9/17
TTC #2 December 2018
BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19
DD - 11/1/19
My Chart
"Did your employer know that you're pregnant, when they offered you a permanent contract? I'm sure they'd have loved to know that." Thank you so much Sir, for a. implying that the status of my uterus influences my past and present work, b. implying that I should open myself up to possible discrimination, c. assuming that my employer and I didn't have any prearranged agreements and d. for showing you're a narrow-minded prick, who was born about 50 years too late. (I already shared this one before, but it still infuriates me!).
"In about 4 months..." *glare*
I mean, sure sometimes, but giving up alcohol is so completely worth it that this shouldn't even be a question. Also it's not like drinking was my only pastime. It's weird that this is sometimes the first question people ask me.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@whiska OH MY GOD YES. I'm so damn sick of that question. Especially when I keep getting it from the same people. Like, it's been a week, I already told you I was lucky enough to have no morning sickness/nausea, what do you think has changed? (Maybe they're hoping I'll say I'm tired so they can say, "Just you wait.") The only other time in my life I remember getting the same questions over and over to the point of annoyance like this was when college was looming. I remember we were going to dinner at the home of the parents of a friend of my brother and I didn't know them, so I told my mom, "I'm not going if they're going to ask me about college plans." Lol.
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
"I thought you were pregnant! I noticed you have gained some weight!" like she was complimenting me.
I have lost a lot of weight during this pregnancy. I have HG. I basically told her off.
Together since May 19, 2001
Baby #1 was born in May 2013.
I'm only 22 weeks, and I'm dreading getting huge bc I'm already uncomfortable and in pain, and duh?
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Call me crazy, but I hate when people say they can barely notice I'm pregnant
i can't relate to yours abecause all I've been getting is people telling me I'm huge haha.
Ive gotten "so this one was an accident. You'd never have 2 under 2!" Again, not your business. But I'd never admit to anyone besides my immediate family and close friends that yes, this one was ALSO an accident.
My mom has been on this kick of trying to get us to move into a bigger house BEFORE this one is born. That's 4ish months. That's not going to happen. The housing market in California, like so many other places, is a shit show.
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
FTM and PGAL
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---
"You're going to have to hire some help! You can't take care of twins alone!" Uuuummm, yes I can, I'm going to be a SAHM and I'm not super rich. I'm not paying someone to come when I'm not working myself. Thanks anyway.
"You're only ____ weeks???!!!!! You're going to be HUGE!!!!" Yes. Thank you. I'm fully aware.
"You're only _____ weeks? Wow, you're still so early." Or "You still have a long way to go." This one especially bugs me. Because every single day that I'm still pregnant with these guys is a fucking miracle and one day closer to them being real, live, cooing, crying, pooping babies. And saying that I'm still so early is diminishing how much work I've put into this already and how important this is. It almost feels like they're not counted yet by other people and that really fucking bugs me.
@moonlady-2 I had a very similar situation happen with DH's aunt. When we announced to DH's family her response in front of about 30 people was "oh! You're pregnant I thought you had just gained weight"
I was completely mortified and I had actually lost weight, she just hadn't seen us since our wedding 3 years ago.
BFP #1 April 12, 2017 EDD December 19, 2017
@moonlady-2 when we told my mil (I feel like I talk about her too much here) she said "I guess that's why you never bothered losing all the weight from (dd)." Why do people think it's okay to comment on a woman's weight, breaststroke, belly size, diet, etc just because they are pregnant?? Ugh.
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
If it's not that for both pregnancies, you're so small. I do carry the weight well and luckily haven't gained too much, but I still don't know if this is considered a compliment or not?
@kaylawing we have gotten the planned question too, probably because they will be 18 months apart when this one comes.
Together since May 19, 2001
Baby #1 was born in May 2013.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
When I was pregnant with my first, a coworker said "I can't imagine how you could get any bigger". I was 35 weeks. Jokes on her though, she was huge during her pregnancy lol
In addition, since I'm married to my wife, lots of people feel like it's appropriate to ask things like, "omg, how did you do it?", or "how did you decide who was going to carry?"
Super personal questions from people I don't know very well, who I guess are curious and think they have the right to ask.
My wife replied to someone who asked "how did you do it," and said, "doggy style." Shut them up really quickly.
Especially first trimester when I was exhausted and nauseous and cranky, I really didn't know how to answer- in some cases I did tell random acquaintances some personal information I wish I hadn't. I was just caught off guard and annoyed and blurted something out. Now I am just saying that the details are not their business.
Due date 12/9
I can't figure out the pregnancy countdown tickers, but I do know how to make a signature!
#40andpregnant
As of 12/15/2017, my new hashtag is #41 and pregnant!
"It's a boy right?.....It looks like a big one from what I can see"
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Seriously, like half a dozen people have said something. "I didn't know you were pregnant!", or "You are looking different *wink* *wink*" (yes, referring to pregnancy; no, I wasn't sure, either).
No, I'm not an early bird, but that doesn't mean I'm a night owl.... I guess I'm an afternoon duck?
Type A personality, Type B body
First BFP with donor sperm 04/11/2017
and when I tell people we are having another boy "oh so you'll have another to try for a little girl..". No, just no.
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
Due date 12/9
I can't figure out the pregnancy countdown tickers, but I do know how to make a signature!
#40andpregnant
As of 12/15/2017, my new hashtag is #41 and pregnant!
Also lots of "OMG! You're only 22 weeks?!" Yep, assholes, when you have three pregnancies go into the second tri in one year, your body kind of knows the routine.
Gavin - 8/27/10
*TW*
Gabriel - 2nd tri loss 5/17/16 Trisomy 18 & 21
Hope - 2nd tri loss 12/7/16 complications from pneumonia
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
When we told family that we were having another girl: "Oh, DH must be SO disappointed!" Ummm, no he's thrilled actually.
And my personal favorite" "Two girls huh? They're going to hate each other you know. Sisters never get along"