Here's a dumb random: Can I drive whilst in labor? For instance, if I go into labor while at work can I head home and have H drive us to the hospital? I'm guessing it may depend how progressed I am/ what kind of pain.
This was my plan last time and sort of still is this time. Last time my water broke and then contractions started shortly after and were manageable for a couple hours, so I could have driven home from work if needed. I read somewhere that first time moms typically go labor at home during the night (something about your body being more relaxed) and I was just hoping that is what would happen to me - and it did luckily. Actually... all the first time moms I know that went into labor on their own were at home at the time.
That would be the best ever to go into labor in the night when H is there! I'd feel much more comfortable, not that my boss isn't capable, but ya know.
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Thanks @KMD1106 for bringing up STM anxiety as I, too, have been having the same feelings you have all responded with. I also decided that, if I'm lucky enough to work each shift I'm scheduled this month I'll qualify for FMLA and will take off of work after that giving me 9 days until my EDD. I was originally planning on going right up until I go into labor, but I realized I want the time with MH and DS. I've been working so much lately that DS was totally attached to me this weekend and I've totally been missing our time together too. Also, thanks to the STM+ encouragement posts... they really do help!
We will not be using the RnP for sleep this time around. Not because of any flat head issues, but because there's more information out there to suggest it's not a safe sleep environment due to its recline. We discussed this awhile back but i think it was probably in a Randoms thread and not easy to find. I won't beat that dead horse. I only mention it to say that I borrowed a Halo bassinet from friend. She used it with her 2nd because her 1st had flat spot issues and she believed it was partially caused by the RnP. She swears by the Halo and 2nd kid did not have similar issues.
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot - Thank you!! DS had pretty bad reflux, so the RnP will just be in case that's an issue with DD too, but totally noted! I will definitely check with the Halo bassinet.
Re: the RnP - I've heard a lot about recommendations against using it for sleep. The neonatologists, however, have said our kiddos *should* sleep in them after they go home (presumably to help with reflux). Across the board, they agree - not an isolated opinion. Strange.
@saric83 - My son had plagiocephaly and torticollis. In our case, I really think we overused our RNP in the beginning because it was the only place where he would sleep. I never noticed he tended to position his head a certain (always facing left) when he slept until our pedi pointed out the issue at his 2-mo checkup. We did PT and home exercises for several months. I really wrestled with whether to helmet and ended up not (his flatness was borderline in terms of severity). Anyway, my plan is to avoid the RNP and minimize car seat naps and be more diligent in monitoring how this one sleeps. It doesn't sound like there was much you could have done (who wouldn't want such a great sleeper!). I hope things are better this time around!
@mdlorenz That's interesting. I'm in a safe sleep group and there are several members who have actually lost babies in the RNP. They also advocate against using it even for reflux. Obviously they are not medical professionals, but it does seem to go against the AAP recommendation of sleeping on a flat firm surface. It was definitely a godsend w/ DD, but I'm too much of a worrier to use it now after reading some of the stories in that group.
@mdlorenz That's interesting. I'm in a safe sleep group and there are several members who have actually lost babies in the RNP. They also advocate against using it even for reflux. Obviously they are not medical professionals, but it does seem to go against the AAP recommendation of sleeping on a flat firm surface. It was definitely a godsend w/ DD, but I'm too much of a worrier to use it now after reading some of the stories in that group.
I think we may be in the same group. I won't be using the RNP based on what I read. If baby has reflux, I'm not entirely sure how we will manage that, but I'm too worried to go down the RNP road.
It hasn't been mentioned this time around, with DD. However when DS1 was released from the NICU, they also recommend the RNP to help with his reflux issues. Granted that was 5 years ago, so I know things may have changed.
RnP - I feel like this was covered at some point, but since we're on the topic again, I'll ask. Even if the RnP isn't advised for most kids for overnight sleeping, it's ok to use occasionally throughout the day, correct? Even if they end up falling asleep in it briefly?
ETA: My main thinking being what would make it any different than plopping the kid in a bouncer or swing.
Hi everyone! I was MIA last week due to being busy with DD and my birthdays and just general life.
RE STM anxiety: I only get anxious about adding a second when DD is being a terror. When she is being sweet, it makes me so excited to add another kiddo and to see their bond. But I have this total feeling of "what are we getting ourselves into" when she is acting up.
@jayandaplus I'm sorry you're feeling bad, I too feel like I got run over by a truck. I ended up taking the day off, but even sitting on the couch is making my whole body ache.
@lrwardrop I believe the deaths were chalked up to positional asphyxiation and/or SIDs. It's hard to pull official non-personal story stats because they mark all deaths in non-crib items as a sleep surface, without specifying location (i.e. bed sharing, swing, car seat, etc.). There are some blog post-type stories shared there. I'm not sure if I want to put them here as they are a very heavy topic. Let me know if you want a PM.
@mcvgal I think many doctors still do recommend RnPs to help with reflux. There's some studies to suggest that an incline doesn't help at all. I'm sure many reflux moms would argue otherwise.
@starphish18 Technically, positional asphyxiation can happen at any time with no outward signs. So a baby could be unable to breath with mom in the same room and not noticing. Personally, I think the RnP makes a great place to set an awake baby when you need free hands to shower or just wave them around without a baby in them.
If anyone is interested, the FB group name is "Safe Infant Sleep - Evidence - Based Support Group." It will make you super annoyed with all of the various "sleep surfaces" that are advertised for sleep (dock a tot, RnP, etc.)
Apologies if I'm beating this to death, but I just want to make sure I'm understanding correctly. If you put a baby in something (RnP, swing, bouncer, etc) while they're awake so you have some hands free time, should you not let them sleep in there? Would you pull them out if they fell asleep? Would you let them nap for a short period of time? I think I'm learning everything, and then something as simple as this throws me for a loop.
Apologies if I'm beating this to death, but I just want to make sure I'm understanding correctly. If you put a baby in something (RnP, swing, bouncer, etc) while they're awake so you have some hands free time, should you not let them sleep in there? Would you pull them out if they fell asleep? Would you let them nap for a short period of time? I think I'm learning everything, and then something as simple as this throws me for a loop.
I'd like to know too... If they fall asleep, do you then pick them up and put them in their pack & play or whatever? And for how long should we not let them sleep there? Six months? Forever? SO MANY THINGS.
@saric83 - DS had plagiocephaly and torticollis and ended up in DOC band for about 4 months. The only PT we really did for it was taking him to a chiropractor. Our biggest plan this go round is to start chiropractic care right out of the gate. I mean, it made a pretty big impact on our world, so even if she doesn't have the exact same issues I feel like it's a good investment. We never used a RnP at home, but daycare repeatedly was using one, even after we asked them to stop. We ended up changing centers specifically because of that, but will be asking again that she not be placed in anything like that.
@starphish18 - I think some of the other ladies might be more educated than I am on this, but from what we were told it sounds like anything that you use that sits the baby at any kind of incline should only be used for short periods of time. Early on (if you're lucky) most naps are 1.5-2 hours. A lot of babies get kind of dependent on the motions or vibrations that the chairs provide, since that is what they are used to in the womb, and so they end up taking all of their naps or spending the entire night in them. By the time we started having issues, we were in full blown "do not use this at all" mode, but I think that the concept of using them in small increments of the baby's day is ok.
@BabyMC517 you get the 10 percent as a small postcard snail mail from bru at least two years ago that was. The kicker is you don't get your cash back for three months after dd I believe
I feel like each day that continues I feel less and less prepared to be a parent. There are so many things to do and to know. I hope I'm not alone in feeling WAY over my head right now lol
I'm in the same FB group. @starphish18 I believe you would move baby to a safe sleep surface (crib, bassinet, PnP) as soon as possible. They shouldn't sleep in RnP, swing, bouncer, etc. AAP recommendations are until age 12 months, I believe. I'm still learning though so someone please correct me if I'm wrong.
@Jens_Hoes I feel you. I've been of the mentality that I'll be set after the classes H and I are taking this month, so I'm kind of allowing myself until the end of April to freak out. I know there's still a lot of basics I just don't know, but between classes and continued learning from this board (I seriously don't know what I'd do without you guys), I feel like I'll be prepared in time. And I'm sure I'll learn a LOT once I go through it with the baby.
@starphish18 I intend to try to avoid sleep in any of our non-flat things. That said, I also stare obsessively at my sleeping babies when i'm awake and its during the day, etc. So if I'm desperate for the kid to catch a few winks, I imagine I'll give myself some wiggle room on that.
@Jens_Hoes I've already done this once and I still feel the same way.
We have a designated safe sleep space downstairs, in our room, and the nursery. If baby falls asleep in their Mamaroo, RNP, whatever we will move them (yes, at the risk of waking!) to a safe sleep space. We also do not plan on having baby in their car seat outside of the car.
I mean, at least I say that now I do feel pretty strongly about it though. Same group. It's a good one, but dont read too deeply at first as it can be over whelming and make you a bit anxious. I like to skim.
I also had a mild freak out this weekend about adding another one. Funny how it's all happening to everyone at the same time. My biggest reason is breastfeeding, which is really hard for us the first 2-3 months, mainly because I have a really slow let down, which means that initial bf'ing sessions take a good hour and 15 minutes at the beginning and we never get below a 20-25 minute feeding. I was remembering how I sort of made a deal with myself that I wouldn't bf baby #3 for more than the first 4-6 weeks and yet here I find myself fully planning to bf with 2 other little kids at home. It'll be interesting to see how it all works out and I really hope I can make the right decision based on how things go without feeling guilty or putting too much pressure on myself.
@jayandaplus - With my first, it was extremely hard to know when I was having BHC, mostly it felt like baby was pushing on my belly and I actually don't think I had too many or at least not many effective ones because I was completely closed and hadn't effaced 3 days before going into labor and my pre labor lasted over 24 hours, which is really when things started to happen.
@nda_roxybabe - As far as driving, I think it will depend on how far along in labor you are and how quickly things are progressing. I had a full day of pre-labor with DS and was fine driving. Even the morning I went into labor I drove myself to and from the gym and it wasn't until I got home that things really got too painful to be driving. An hour later when I went in to be checked I was already 4 cm dilated but I'm guessing since things progressed slowly was because I wasn't in so much pain to be driving. With DD, it was different and I don't think I could've driven myself beyond a few minutes once I went into active labor.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
I feel like each day that continues I feel less and less prepared to be a parent. There are so many things to do and to know. I hope I'm not alone in feeling WAY over my head right now lol
I'm in the same boat with everyone about worrying about doing things wrong and so much to know especially for a FTM. I think we just need to do the best we can with the knowledge we have, continue to try and learn, and not stress when we don't know EVERYTHING. You can't possibly know everything. I'm not suggesting we throw caution to the wind and let our babies sleep with pillows and comforters or put the chest strap on the car seat across the abdomen but I do think we need to give ourselves some grace and know that none of us will be perfect parents! Plenty of parents who try zero percent have babies that grow to be healthy children. We just need to do the best we can. As a group you are all amazing and caring women and either already are or will be amazing parents. How lucky your little ones will be to be so so loved! I guess what I'm trying to say is that we need to keep trying to do the "right" thing about sleeping, breastfeeding, car seats, etc but we need to allow ourselves to be less than perfect because we are all human. This board is a great place to learn from each other and support each other. We can do it!
On on another note: LO and I are32w. She is remaining breech. I know there is more time to turn but I want to help her. Some of you have previously discussed using the exercises to try and get the baby to turn, so I guess my main question is how often did you do the exercises and what not? Like once a day, multiple times a day, as much as possible? I will do whatever is the best for us as far as delivery but I want to give us the best chance possible for vaginal delivery.
I let DD sleep in her mamaroo if she fell asleep in it. (Honestly this is the only thing that got me through from 3:30-5ish most mornings during the 2ish month) however I would constantly check on her and never felt that she was unsafe.
Now obviously crib/bassinet is the safest, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. It was literally the only thing to get her to sleep and it was between that, her crying in her crib, or holding her (which some mornigns I didn't feel it was safe for me to try to hold her)
DS slept in the RNP almost exclusively (naps & nighttime), and it was pretty tough to transition him to the flat surface of his crib. That, combined with the repeated warnings on this board (thank you, Bump friends (sincere - not sarcasm)), has inspired me to buy a Lullago off of a local yard sale group. I was already planning for May Baby to sleep in the 'top shelf' part of the PNP, but this will give us another option. WHEW. If I can get my hands on a double stroller I'll feel ready for this baby!
@emilyalso Excellent point on transition. The RNP to PNP/crib transition was killer for us. Looking back, I think it would have been easier to do flat sleeping at the beginning. DD was such a jerk about flat sleeping. Even in the hospital she refused to lay in the bassinet and flipped out when she went flat, regardless of level of sleep.
What is everyone getting for presents for older kids and presents for baby from older kids? I like the busy box idea but worry DD is a little old for some of it. I think I'll for sure get her some sewing cards. She has tons of coloring/art stuff already.
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot, this doesn't really answer your question, but I think we are skipping the hospital gift to DS and instead throwing a big brother party for him. Fancy cupcakes, party hats, and balloons. The kid is obsessed with birthdays right now. I also picked up a big balloon with fun tassels from the one spot at Target that my mom will take him to get filled and bring for his little sister at the hospital.
I completely forgot about the transition from RNP to crib. With DS1 it was a horrible transition and he kept waking up at night. DS2 was in a crib from day 1 and slept through the night at 3 months. I don't know if there is any correlation, but Lucia's been sleeping on her back this whole time so I hope she will do well in the crib.
re: Presents. DS2 "gifted" DS1 a ride along wagon when he was born. This time around we are planning on getting the boys a 2 seater power wheel vehicle for outdoors. They will get it once Lucia is home so DS2 can try to understand.
We used the RNP for night time sleep for the first couple of months before transitioning to the PnP and then crib. During the day we would rotate her between swing, PnP, and crib. We plan on doing the same this time around. I know there is so many conflicting opinions out there about RnP use and I talked with our Pedi and some Neos at the hospital about it and they all okayed RnP use until baby started rolling.
Got a plan today for my polyhydramnios management. Some blood work tomorrow and normal appointment, then weekly NSTs and BPPs, full ultrasound and consult with MFM this week, starting blood sugar testing (fasting and after meals), and for sure induction at 39 weeks. These next few weeks are going to fly by!
I really want to know if baby is breech still. I know he could flip, but I want to ask if they'll do a quick bedside ultrasound (which they said they'd do at 36 weeks) at check at my 34 week appointment on Thursday. Is it unreasonable to ask?
May Siggy Challenge: Labor Memes
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10 DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI) BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
Since we are on the topic of safe sleep. Can anyone explain to me why it's better to keep baby in your room and not their nursery with a monitor? I've googled and I feel like I get conflicting answers
I didn't know this with DD a few years ago and she was in her crib in her room the first week. I was originally planning on putting this baby in his crib in his nursery from the beginning too, but then saw about keeping baby in the room with you. Nursery is maybe 20 feet from our bedroom....
i have a co-sleeper set up in our room right now, but realized the side doesn't line up with our bed so we'll use it like a pack n play with the side raised... so we may do a few weeks in that then transition to baby's room.
@BeachMommy2B I could be wrong but I believe the idea is that if baby is in the same room, you will be more aware of breathing patterns and notice an apnea episode before it is harmful/fatal to baby. I don't think a monitor can necessarily do that for you. Personally we'll do at least 3-4 months in our room I think and then reassess. The AAP recommendation of a full year seems excessive. Babies - especially by then - make too much noise in their sleep!
Re: Randoms and Questions 4.3-4.7
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
We will not be using the RnP for sleep this time around. Not because of any flat head issues, but because there's more information out there to suggest it's not a safe sleep environment due to its recline. We discussed this awhile back but i think it was probably in a Randoms thread and not easy to find. I won't beat that dead horse. I only mention it to say that I borrowed a Halo bassinet from friend. She used it with her 2nd because her 1st had flat spot issues and she believed it was partially caused by the RnP. She swears by the Halo and 2nd kid did not have similar issues.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@mdlorenz That's interesting. I'm in a safe sleep group and there are several members who have actually lost babies in the RNP. They also advocate against using it even for reflux. Obviously they are not medical professionals, but it does seem to go against the AAP recommendation of sleeping on a flat firm surface. It was definitely a godsend w/ DD, but I'm too much of a worrier to use it now after reading some of the stories in that group.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
ETA: My main thinking being what would make it any different than plopping the kid in a bouncer or swing.
RE STM anxiety: I only get anxious about adding a second when DD is being a terror. When she is being sweet, it makes me so excited to add another kiddo and to see their bond. But I have this total feeling of "what are we getting ourselves into" when she is acting up.
@jayandaplus I'm sorry you're feeling bad, I too feel like I got run over by a truck. I ended up taking the day off, but even sitting on the couch is making my whole body ache.
I hope everyone has a great week!
@mcvgal I think many doctors still do recommend RnPs to help with reflux. There's some studies to suggest that an incline doesn't help at all. I'm sure many reflux moms would argue otherwise.
@starphish18 Technically, positional asphyxiation can happen at any time with no outward signs. So a baby could be unable to breath with mom in the same room and not noticing. Personally, I think the RnP makes a great place to set an awake baby when you need free hands to shower or just wave them around without a baby in them.
If anyone is interested, the FB group name is "Safe Infant Sleep - Evidence - Based Support Group." It will make you super annoyed with all of the various "sleep surfaces" that are advertised for sleep (dock a tot, RnP, etc.)
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
If they fall asleep, do you then pick them up and put them in their pack & play or whatever? And for how long should we not let them sleep there? Six months? Forever?
SO MANY THINGS.
@starphish18 - I think some of the other ladies might be more educated than I am on this, but from what we were told it sounds like anything that you use that sits the baby at any kind of incline should only be used for short periods of time. Early on (if you're lucky) most naps are 1.5-2 hours. A lot of babies get kind of dependent on the motions or vibrations that the chairs provide, since that is what they are used to in the womb, and so they end up taking all of their naps or spending the entire night in them. By the time we started having issues, we were in full blown "do not use this at all" mode, but I think that the concept of using them in small increments of the baby's day is ok.
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
There are so many things to do and to know. I hope I'm not alone in feeling WAY over my head right now lol
@starphish18 I believe you would move baby to a safe sleep surface (crib, bassinet, PnP) as soon as possible. They shouldn't sleep in RnP, swing, bouncer, etc.
AAP recommendations are until age 12 months, I believe.
I'm still learning though so someone please correct me if I'm wrong.
@Jens_Hoes I've already done this once and I still feel the same way.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
I mean, at least I say that now
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
@jayandaplus - With my first, it was extremely hard to know when I was having BHC, mostly it felt like baby was pushing on my belly and I actually don't think I had too many or at least not many effective ones because I was completely closed and hadn't effaced 3 days before going into labor and my pre labor lasted over 24 hours, which is really when things started to happen.
@nda_roxybabe - As far as driving, I think it will depend on how far along in labor you are and how quickly things are progressing. I had a full day of pre-labor with DS and was fine driving. Even the morning I went into labor I drove myself to and from the gym and it wasn't until I got home that things really got too painful to be driving. An hour later when I went in to be checked I was already 4 cm dilated but I'm guessing since things progressed slowly was because I wasn't in so much pain to be driving. With DD, it was different and I don't think I could've driven myself beyond a few minutes once I went into active labor.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
I'm in the same boat with everyone about worrying about doing things wrong and so much to know especially for a FTM. I think we just need to do the best we can with the knowledge we have, continue to try and learn, and not stress when we don't know EVERYTHING. You can't possibly know everything. I'm not suggesting we throw caution to the wind and let our babies sleep with pillows and comforters or put the chest strap on the car seat across the abdomen but I do think we need to give ourselves some grace and know that none of us will be perfect parents! Plenty of parents who try zero percent have babies that grow to be healthy children. We just need to do the best we can. As a group you are all amazing and caring women and either already are or will be amazing parents. How lucky your little ones will be to be so so loved! I guess what I'm trying to say is that we need to keep trying to do the "right" thing about sleeping, breastfeeding, car seats, etc but we need to allow ourselves to be less than perfect because we are all human. This board is a great place to learn from each other and support each other. We can do it!
On on another note: LO and I are32w. She is remaining breech. I know there is more time to turn but I want to help her. Some of you have previously discussed using the exercises to try and get the baby to turn, so I guess my main question is how often did you do the exercises and what not? Like once a day, multiple times a day, as much as possible? I will do whatever is the best for us as far as delivery but I want to give us the best chance possible for vaginal delivery.
I let DD sleep in her mamaroo if she fell asleep in it. (Honestly this is the only thing that got me through from 3:30-5ish most mornings during the 2ish month) however I would constantly check on her and never felt that she was unsafe.
Now obviously crib/bassinet is the safest, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. It was literally the only thing to get her to sleep and it was between that, her crying in her crib, or holding her (which some mornigns I didn't feel it was safe for me to try to hold her)
May '17 labor memes
What is everyone getting for presents for older kids and presents for baby from older kids? I like the busy box idea but worry DD is a little old for some of it. I think I'll for sure get her some sewing cards. She has tons of coloring/art stuff already.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
re: Presents. DS2 "gifted" DS1 a ride along wagon when he was born. This time around we are planning on getting the boys a 2 seater power wheel vehicle for outdoors. They will get it once Lucia is home so DS2 can try to understand.
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Got a plan today for my polyhydramnios management. Some blood work tomorrow and normal appointment, then weekly NSTs and BPPs, full ultrasound and consult with MFM this week, starting blood sugar testing (fasting and after meals), and for sure induction at 39 weeks. These next few weeks are going to fly by!
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
May '17 labor memes
I didn't know this with DD a few years ago and she was in her crib in her room the first week. I was originally planning on putting this baby in his crib in his nursery from the beginning too, but then saw about keeping baby in the room with you. Nursery is maybe 20 feet from our bedroom....
i have a co-sleeper set up in our room right now, but realized the side doesn't line up with our bed so we'll use it like a pack n play with the side raised... so we may do a few weeks in that then transition to baby's room.