I understand not making DH get up when LO is waking up once or twice a night and you are EBF. But when DS was waking up once every hour and a half, DH was sure as hell getting up and at least changing a diaper to make my life a little bit easier.
@Bailey8809 Was there a reason your DH didn't change diapers that first year? No judgement at all, it's just so far out of my realm of reality. Also, hey girl heyyyy to another Coloradan!
Yay another Colorado girl! Ready for the snow tomorrow? There was never a real reason that he didn't change diapers it wasn't like he refused or said he didn't want too, I just always did it. I think I tend to be a bit old fashion when it comes to roles in house though, like I do 95% of the cooking, all the laundry, etc and he takes out the trash, takes care of the cars, most the yard work etc. We're not totally 1950's standards by any means but we just tend to gravitate to more "traditional" rolls at home I guess? <--------That may be an UO in it's self but it works for us!
@Louise_Belcher: about the sports teams thing, yes!!! I could not agree more!! I live in Michigan too and got my first degree from MSU. I have been harassed by UofM fans who never went to either school and it really upsets me when I'm insulted academically (like them saying I couldn't get into UofM). Ironically for my second bachelor's degree in nursing, I went to UofM. I don't care when people like college sports teams when they didn't go to the school, but I hate it when those people insult other schools.
My UO right now, is I'm sick of strangers commenting on me being pregnant. Even when they are nice or just happy for me. Maybe I just want to go to the grocery store without being asked questions about my pregnancy. My husband actually said to me the other day, "you're going to miss all the attention once the baby is born." Are you kidding me!? Heck no! I'm looking forward to just being a normal person again and my baby getting all the attention.
@jens_hoes I went to the University of Hartford. Not sure what years you were there. I graduated 2003. The cheerleading coach for UConn was also the coach for UHA. A sorority sister of mine transferred to UConn and cheered for them too....small world....
I went from 2005-2009, and the coaches were Derron Forrest Neal Kearny, ring any bells? was the sister during my time at all?
@starphish18 - those late night bottle feedings saved my sanity. I have to tip my hat to women who manage to be breast-only. We had a little monster who was still waking up really frequently when I was making plans to head back to work. I don't know if I could have survived without it. We did give him breastmilk exclusively, but I would just squeeze in a pumping session right before bed, and that is what DH gave him in a bottle around 11 while I snored!!!
@ChristinaWild Yes, that is what I'm envisioning! Me popping off to bed a bit earlier and H handling that last feeding before he goes to bed. I think even one feeding like that would be immensely helpful.
To echo @starphish18's sentiment, that was the reason DH and I split night duties. Granted, he doesn't have a safety sensitive job and I was EBF'ing at night (meaning we never intro'd a bottle for night time feeds). When the kid cried, he'd handle all of the non-Bf'ing duties so I could catch a few more minutes of sleep. I did all of the Bf'ing and he would change a diaper if necessary or attempt any required soothing needed before or after the feeding. DD hated sleep and I would have gone insane without his nighttime help during mat leave and after returning to work. Sleep deprivation is no joke regardless of whether your job is child rearing or sitting at a desk. Plus, it was so very helpful for DH to take over night duties when I was trying to night wean.
Inductions: YES!! We all know how long it takes baby to cook, don't be selfish and induce so that the arrival is more convenient for you. I couldn't be in the same room with my cousin's wife every time she talked about wanting to be induced once she hit 38 weeks! & yes, I understand if it needs to be done for medical reasons.
I just feel like we should trust our bodies and our babies. Women have been at this a long time and on some level we know what to do. Let nature take its course naturally.
@Louise_Belcher - Omg, trees smelling like semen. I almost spit out my water. @nda_roxybabe, @starphish18 - I'm planning on introducing bottles right away in addition to breastfeeding. DH has said it's really important to him that he be able to bond with the baby by sharing feeding duties, and that sounds good to me. Yesterday, I said I wouldn't expect him to get up in the middle of the night when I'm on maternity leave because it's during his crazy busy work season, but he said he wants to at least do one feeding at night so that the baby is used to him when I go back to work.
My UO which probably isn't a UO: I hate mommy martyrs. I know so many women that take on way more of the parenting duties when their child is an infant because their spouses "won't do it right." Then as the kid gets older, they bitch about their spouse not helping enough, but they created the dynamic.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@kayemjay2 - I had no clue something like that could be prosecuted but I am with you. I definitely think it should be on a case by case. Two older adults especially of past child bearing age, should be able to decide if that's what they want to do, as strange or gross as it might be to a lot of us.
@kat81 - I agree with you. I don't believe in inducing early for non-medical reasons. Anyone complaining and saying that they want their baby to come already by 36-37 weeks will get flamed by me. I have a friend who just had an induction at 38 weeks just because she did with her previous kid and she didn't want to be pregnant the last 2 weeks. Major side eye from me. With that said, I must admit that I have been considering an induction out of convenience this time around. DH's insurance through his work renews on May 1st and we've discussed that if the coverage gets worse, we might try to evict baby early. It would be at 39w4d so pretty close to his due date but I have felt so conflicted about it because of how strongly I oppose inducing and forcing baby out without medical need. It is almost April and we haven't heard of changes so I am majorly crossing my fingers that it means that there will be no coverage changes at all so that I don't have to think about this anymore. With DD, we set my induction date for 41w and even that made me uncomfortable (I just wanted her to come on her own) but luckily she came before then.
@Louise_Belcher - I was coming to say the same thing about birthstones. Not something I'm into and I think that if you (general you) want a specific type of stone, you should just get it, whether it's your or your kids' birthstone or not. I don't even know what my kids' birthstones are.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@MoshiMoshi7 & @Bailey8809 - I can't remember but are you both Coloradans that live in Colorado? Because if that's so, there's 4 of us here!
I'm a native Coloradan living in Colorado! I grew up in Idaho Springs and now living in Castle Rock, which is DH's home town. Where is everyone else? Totally fine if you don't want to say, maybe just general area in the state!
Re MOTN: so, after I'm home from my CS, my DH handles all MOTN feedings since he's off work. This is for me to get as much rest as possible and hopefully heal quicker. When he goes back to work, I handle the MOTN, unless he's off the next day. Then he will do it so that I can get some sleep. It worked for us with our other two babies. And for me, my anxiety seems to get worse if I haven't had very good rest/sleep. (The past few weeks have been awful for me, since third tri sleep is near impossible some nights)
@MoshiMoshi7 & @Bailey8809 - I can't remember but are you both Coloradans that live in Colorado? Because if that's so, there's 4 of us here!
I'm a native Coloradan living in Colorado! I grew up in Idaho Springs and now living in Castle Rock, which is DH's home town. Where is everyone else? Totally fine if you don't want to say, maybe just general area in the state!
Fun! I am in the SE part of the city so really close to your town. @RainyDays86 is up in the mountains.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
I'm "input" and Fiance is "output"... this was our schedule with DD -DD wakes up (she was about every 3 hours) -Fiance gets up, changes DD while I pee (because even when I'm not pregnant if i wake up I have to pee), then hands DD off to me and goes back to bed -I feed DD normally in living room and get her back in crib asleep (with DD she was in the crib from Day 1, this time we may keep him in our room for the first few weeks) -I pump for next feeding after DD asleep (hopefully EBF this time without pumping)
It worked for us with DD, but this time around things may be totally different. We'll just plan to wait and see.
I don't care about sports but I live in an area with two recognizable/sporty universities--I went to one for grad school and now work at the other, so I'll allow my kids to be fairweather fans of whichever they prefer if they're into that sort of thing with only minimal side-eyeing (tangential UO--I fully intend to judge my kids when they're into stuff I think is dumb)--I can see it starting as a generational allegiance and then sort of spreading as a geographical one? Regardless, my UO that really isn't an UO other than in my superobnoxious academic/professional environment is that I hate it when people make a big deal about NOT being into sports and feel the need to perform their disdain. Like, chill out, people enjoy it and it brings communities together and out in the fresh air, good grief. I was at a wedding during some sports excitement once and a professor at my table was like "why is it not that people take to the streets in such a manner FOR THE SAKE OF POETRY" and, like, are you seriously 70 and haven't figured this out I can't help you buddy.
There is one single college game I have a slight interest in each year. I didn't attend either school, but I have to stay loyal to West Point as I spent 8 years in the Army. So, GO ARMY! BEAT NAVY!
My OB and I will consider induction at 39 weeks due to my history of precipitous labor. It is solely to prevent another emergent delivery, ensure it does not occur outside of a hospital (because my first almost did), and only if my body seems favorable for it at that time. If I'm closed up tight like a clam at 39 weeks, we'll check again at 40 weeks.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
RE Middle of Night Feedings, I tackle that because I breastfeed almost exclusively but DH does diaper duty while I get situated or use the bathroom. I do introduce a bottle early on in case I was sick or out and DH needed to handle feedings. DH does wake really early for PT and then comes home for an hour or so before returning back to work. During the time he's home, he wakes the girls up and gets them breakfast and dressed and I get to sleep a little longer or take a shower in peace! So I'll handle middle of the night feedings if he does morning duty with the kids! If I was not a SAHM I would fully expect equal night time duties!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I wanted to weigh in about the MOTN feedings. I think there is no need to involve your DH as long as you have an arrangement that works for both of you. As for us, DH is a night person and I'm a morning person. I expect I'll go to sleep at the 9pm feeding and he'll deal with that first feeding (like at 11pm), perhaps as a pumped bottle. Or he'll deal with it diapers & holding-wise while I snooze/feed. And entertain the kid if the kid just wants to be awake but not eating. But when all 3 kids are up at 6am or whatever, he can sleep in and I'll deal. Also, DH is more of a sleep intertia person (hard to fall asleep and hard to wake up) whereas I'm not. So I can deal with interrupted sleep more easily than he can, usually. I don't typically have trouble with the "sleep while the baby sleeps" advice. Probably I'll be up a lot at night while he sleeps, and he'll do all of the house work during the day while I take naps during the baby's naps. This is for when we're both on leave. But in the past even when he was back at work he was the lead on house stuff while I kept to feeding. DH was always good about being like, "go take a nap! I'll take care of this" with this being the awake baby, housework, or whatever else could be going on. And I was good about dropping everything and napping. Makes the overnights a bit easier.
DH will also be the go-to person for anything happening overnight with the other kids (e.g. if they wake up from the baby, or just if they have their own issues.)
@kns1988 I couldn't agree with you more about the mommy martyrs! Then they complain about their incompetent husbands! I'm like, "if you ever let him TRY maybe he'd be able to do it!" So bad. DH and I fully subscribe to the "both of us need to be experts at everything" mantra. We still divide up some things, but there's no house expert or child expert...and if there is, it's not me! haha
Don't get me wrong, MH will get up in the MOTN of I ask him to. I would just prefer for him to sleep and help out in other ways during the day. Most likely, he will get up with DD if the baby wakes her up. We'll have to see how things go this time.
I wake up regardless if it's my "turn" or DH's. when she was a baby and I EBFed of course it just made sense for only me to get up (also SAHM). DH would be pretty good about getting up in the morning (for a while).
Finally I thought of a UO - baby talk is dumb. My cousin called nursing "num nums". Ew. Or even my adult friend calls things "super yum". So not really baby talk, but it's like a Rachel Ray-ism. Can't we just call it olive oil or a sandwich??
sort of random tangent to that - last week I was on a plane reading the safety info card to DD (she loves it so I read it every flight. Usually both legs, since we almost always have a layover.) the lady next to me, a mom of two young kids says to me "wow you talk to her like a real person". Thanks? Because a 4yr old isn't a real person? Or because I didn't talk down to her?
@MSU0514 Go green!! I know a few people that have done both schools. And while I never attended class at UofM I spent a huge amount of time in the ugli studying with DH and drinking at marching band parties. @kns1988 No joke! I remember my first encounter with one of those trees. I was with my mom and turned to say "OMG that tree smells like.." and she stopped me and said "Don't say it" lol. Also totally agree on mommy martyrs. Let him try and he will be great. Maybe he will do something different then you but it doesn't make it wrong. It might be dark, but I can't help but think I want him to be prepared in case something happens to me.
I love reading everyones different ways to handle MOTN. Ours was pretty much the same as @BeachMommy2B with DH getting up first and doing diaper duty then I stepped in for feeding. Once we had to give up on bfing and switch completely to formula we assigned nights. I took 4 nights and he took 3 based on next day schedules. This way multiple times a week we each got a full night's sleep. He also took Saturday morning and I took Sunday so we each got to sleep in a smidge once a week. Also regarding diapers he basically changed every diaper he was present for in the first few months. It now goes by who smells it firsts wins the honor. Winner, winner, poopy diaper!!
I wake up regardless if it's my "turn" or DH's. when she was a baby and I EBFed of course it just made sense for only me to get up (also SAHM). DH would be pretty good about getting up in the morning (for a while).
Finally I thought of a UO - baby talk is dumb. My cousin called nursing "num nums". Ew. Or even my adult friend calls things "super yum". So not really baby talk, but it's like a Rachel Ray-ism. Can't we just call it olive oil or a sandwich??
sort of random tangent to that - last week I was on a plane reading the safety info card to DD (she loves it so I read it every flight. Usually both legs, since we almost always have a layover.) the lady next to me, a mom of two young kids says to me "wow you talk to her like a real person". Thanks? Because a 4yr old isn't a real person? Or because I didn't talk down to her?
Agreed. When talking to her kids, my friend calls poop "stinkers" and pajamas "jammers." Once DH was alone in their house with the kids while the rest of us were at the pool. My friend's 3yo told him she had to go "stinkers" and he said, "its poop! You have to poop!"
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot whyyyyy??? Those are the kids who become the weird ones when they get to school.
However. You know how some people say pa-jam-as and some say pa-jah-mas? My friend (a different one than super yum) calls them "jah-mees" - like jammies but the soft Ah sound. It's weird and adorable at the same time.
On incest: I would probably be all for keeping brother/sister father/daughter etc relationships illegal on a case by case basis, like the example of unable to have children, but honestly don't see the harm in cousins, I mean most royal families have done it for decades.
collage teams: don't even understand in the slightest. It's not a thing here and I just don't understand at all, but then your pathetic version of "football" is laughable anyway so what does it matter to me
MOTN: when DS was born H was unemployed and we FF so we shared duties, usually we would both be up, but he was a pretty good sleeper so it wasn't an issue. It was solely me when H went back to work and I assume it will be just me again, he may take over a morning feed this time depending on when he gets up/when LO wakes up, we'll just play it by ear, hopefully DS will be sleeping in his own room by that point so I won't have to deal with 2 kids up, but H should be able to deal with DS pretty easily.
Me - 22 | DH - 32 | Married - 24 May 2014 DS - January 2014
TTC#2 - December 2015
BFP - 6 March 2016 | MC Confirmed - 21 March 2016 TTCAL | April 2016 CP | June 2016 CP | July 2016
BeachMommy2B - Yes! Why do they think he's so funny? I don't get it.
My husband has been counting down. We saw him live about a year and a half ago and some of his stuff is funny but I still don't really get the huge appeal.
I dont have an opinion on the collegiate sports fans locality issue but I also don't understand collegiate sports really anyway. Give me Professional sports anyday.
TTC1: May 2015
Primary IF May 2016; Failed HSG; Scheduled Lap Sept. 2016
Lots of interesting opinions. I feel like im the one who has complained about dh not getting up during the night, so since i may have inspired the topic, let me clarify why i complained. I always planned on me doing the motn and have done them for 20 months now without it bothering me. I stay home so i tthoughttit was perfectly fair for that to be my thing and dh to rest for work. Its only upset me since this pregnancy has been rough and now im not even allowed to lift her so i literally need his help. I will be having a csection and then have three kids who are up during the night so during recovery and until i can make sense of having twins i will need his help, but when/if thins settle down i agree that dh shouldnt have to get up if im just nursing and i can rest during the day.
As for the other uo's i dont have much of an opinion on them but dh does root for a team that is not where we went to school.
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot OMG you must know my family! my aunt literally uses both of those and it drives me crazy! luckily my extended family are all 800 miles away so they don't have much input on our daily vocab!
We don't do baby talk. Other than Fiance says poops (plural) I have no idea why, and his family calls pacifiers "chuppys" WTF is that? We also don't talk in baby voices, I hate when people do that! My family up north still talk to their 4 year old in a baby voice...
Birthstones- The only piece of jewelry I treasure is a pendant my husband and I had made with all our birthstones. I am diamond- april he is ruby- july ds is peridot I am looking forward to adding to my pendant another that goes with our colors. I just grew up with diamond and you never get anything with it that isn't super expensive. Pearl isn't going to happen no MD would make me wait that long if baby didn't come on due date. I really don't do much jewelry. I wear my wedding band/engagement ring and this one pendant every day. I just MOTN duties- My husband doesn't hear the monitor which I think is something of a lie except when he watches ds on sundays he needs the monitor turned up to 5 or 6 before i leave so he will wake up when ds does. I need it only on one! Anyway when I am on maternity leave I am "not working" according to him and am solely responsible for the baby at night. When I go back to work DH takes the anytime after the baby goes to bed till 1230 am shift then I take the 1230 to anytime I get up to go to work time. I eped with ds so this worked out fine when I would leave some milk out for dh during that time. But again my husband doesn't hear the monitor and wont take the monitor over to his side during his shift I have to hear the baby and wake him to go do his shift which is so irritating. He also "cant be expected to remember to turn the volume back up on the monitor" when he comes back from feeding baby so I have to deal with hearing that over the monitor as i am trying to sleep.... Its an imperfect system we have but the shift worked best for us.
@Jkp7749 I totally get your situation and reasoning for wanting him to get up. And I'm sorry that your H isn't always cooperative. Hopefully he will help more when there are three little night owls in your house.
An honest question for those that handle all or most of MOTN stuff on their own...do any of you have the baby in your room for a period of time at the beginning? I was just sitting at my desk pondering what exactly I'm going to do when my baby wakes up in my room crying in the middle of the night, assuming she doesn't just need to be fed/changed...do I take her into her room and let her cry then bring her back into our room to go to sleep? With DS, he slept in his room but his nursery literally had an adjoining door to our room, so it was easy to go back and forth. With DD, we are in a larger house, so her room is down the hall. And even if she just needs to be fed/changed, it's not like DH could possibly sleep through that...
@MoshiMoshi7 & @Bailey8809 - I can't remember but are you both Coloradans that live in Colorado? Because if that's so, there's 4 of us here!
I'm a native Coloradan living in Colorado! I grew up in Idaho Springs and now living in Castle Rock, which is DH's home town. Where is everyone else? Totally fine if you don't want to say, maybe just general area in the state!
Fun! I am in the SE part of the city so really close to your town. @RainyDays86 is up in the mountains.
As @vrj0522 said we're in the mountains, Evergreen specifically. @Bailey8809 DH and I were just talking about how we always forget how close we are to Idaho Springs. We were saying that we should go there more often for dinner when we want to get out of Evergreen because it's basically the same distance to the western suburbs of Denver and they have some cute restaurants and brewpubs.
Along the lines of baby talk vs adult talk to children, I've got a question that I've been struggling with a bit. I generally avoid baby talk and talk to my kids as if they're people. (Although I do call pajamas jammies! I've never thought of it as baby talk!). But, in some older books, there are words that have changed meaning since the book was written. What is everyone's opinion on reading those? Example, because I don't think that makes sense: One of daughter's favorite books is Jemima Puddleduck. So, at one point it describes a little house as being "made out of faggots." Which is a perfectly correct description, but I feel really weird reading it to her and teaching her a word like that. I generally just read it to her as "made out of wood" instead. What's everyone else's take on it?
@vrj0522 , @Bailey8809 , @RainyDays86 , I don't live in Colorado now, but wanted to say "heyyy!" because I went to college at CSU, my husband went to CU, and my father in laws still live in Boulder. Miss it terribly...it's so beautiful!
ETA: Despite my earlier declaration about being "meh" about college sports, DH is a die hard CU football fan (even though they have pretty much been the worst for the past near decade). We actually have a CU flag currently flying in the front of our house...
An honest question for those that handle all or most of MOTN stuff on their own...do any of you have the baby in your room for a period of time at the beginning? I was just sitting at my desk pondering what exactly I'm going to do when my baby wakes up in my room crying in the middle of the night, assuming she doesn't just need to be fed/changed...do I take her into her room and let her cry then bring her back into our room to go to sleep? With DS, he slept in his room but his nursery literally had an adjoining door to our room, so it was easy to go back and forth. With DD, we are in a larger house, so her room is down the hall. And even if she just needs to be fed/changed, it's not like DH could possibly sleep through that...
HAHAHAHAHA oh they do just fine.
Baby was in our room until 3/4 months and my husband was clocking in a solid 7-8 hours a night while I was getting maybe 3 total broken up by about an hour at a time. I never left the room and would either sit in bed with Mr. Fussy Pants or pace the room with him.
@Squirtgun We have a few older books and I generally paraphrase or rephrase. For instance, Disney's Peter Pan is not at all culturally appropriate anymore so I change up the Native American storyline a bit. And I have an old Rainbow Brite book that DD loves. In it, the bad guys (Murky and Lurky) get in a fight and one calls the other an "idiot." I didn't think much about it until DD called my friend's husband an idiot when he was teasing her. I mean, she did use it correctly but...
Also, I think "jammies" and "Pjs" are perfectly acceptable. I just can't handle "jammers" as it's not even a NN for PJs.
Along the lines of baby talk vs adult talk to children, I've got a question that I've been struggling with a bit. I generally avoid baby talk and talk to my kids as if they're people. (Although I do call pajamas jammies! I've never thought of it as baby talk!). But, in some older books, there are words that have changed meaning since the book was written. What is everyone's opinion on reading those? Example, because I don't think that makes sense: One of daughter's favorite books is Jemima Puddleduck. So, at one point it describes a little house as being "made out of faggots." Which is a perfectly correct description, but I feel really weird reading it to her and teaching her a word like that. I generally just read it to her as "made out of wood" instead. What's everyone else's take on it?
Personally, I would change the word to something like wood, as you said. In a situation like that, I think a lot of people don't know that an original meaning of faggot was a bundle of things like sticks etc. It's definitely taken on a different mainstream connotation, and I'd be concerned about my LO using the term and not having people understand, and thus assume they meant it in an offensive manner.
An honest question for those that handle all or most of MOTN stuff on their own...do any of you have the baby in your room for a period of time at the beginning? I was just sitting at my desk pondering what exactly I'm going to do when my baby wakes up in my room crying in the middle of the night, assuming she doesn't just need to be fed/changed...do I take her into her room and let her cry then bring her back into our room to go to sleep? With DS, he slept in his room but his nursery literally had an adjoining door to our room, so it was easy to go back and forth. With DD, we are in a larger house, so her room is down the hall. And even if she just needs to be fed/changed, it's not like DH could possibly sleep through that...
HAHAHAHAHA oh they do just fine.
Baby was in our room until 3/4 months and my husband was clocking in a solid 7-8 hours a night while I was getting maybe 3 total broken up by about an hour at a time. I never left the room and would either sit in bed with Mr. Fussy Pants or pace the room with him.
Maybe I just need to buy him some earplugs or more likely, an extra glass of scotch before bed, haha...I know he will be getting up with me, but he doesn't need to get up EVERY TIME the way he did with DS.
Re: UO 3/23
My UO right now, is I'm sick of strangers commenting on me being pregnant. Even when they are nice or just happy for me. Maybe I just want to go to the grocery store without being asked questions about my pregnancy. My husband actually said to me the other day, "you're going to miss all the attention once the baby is born." Are you kidding me!? Heck no! I'm looking forward to just being a normal person again and my baby getting all the attention.
was the sister during my time at all?
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
Inductions: YES!! We all know how long it takes baby to cook, don't be selfish and induce so that the arrival is more convenient for you. I couldn't be in the same room with my cousin's wife every time she talked about wanting to be induced once she hit 38 weeks! & yes, I understand if it needs to be done for medical reasons.
I just feel like we should trust our bodies and our babies. Women have been at this a long time and on some level we know what to do. Let nature take its course naturally.
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
@nda_roxybabe, @starphish18 - I'm planning on introducing bottles right away in addition to breastfeeding. DH has said it's really important to him that he be able to bond with the baby by sharing feeding duties, and that sounds good to me. Yesterday, I said I wouldn't expect him to get up in the middle of the night when I'm on maternity leave because it's during his crazy busy work season, but he said he wants to at least do one feeding at night so that the baby is used to him when I go back to work.
My UO which probably isn't a UO: I hate mommy martyrs. I know so many women that take on way more of the parenting duties when their child is an infant because their spouses "won't do it right." Then as the kid gets older, they bitch about their spouse not helping enough, but they created the dynamic.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@kat81 - I agree with you. I don't believe in inducing early for non-medical reasons. Anyone complaining and saying that they want their baby to come already by 36-37 weeks will get flamed by me. I have a friend who just had an induction at 38 weeks just because she did with her previous kid and she didn't want to be pregnant the last 2 weeks. Major side eye from me. With that said, I must admit that I have been considering an induction out of convenience this time around. DH's insurance through his work renews on May 1st and we've discussed that if the coverage gets worse, we might try to evict baby early. It would be at 39w4d so pretty close to his due date but I have felt so conflicted about it because of how strongly I oppose inducing and forcing baby out without medical need. It is almost April and we haven't heard of changes so I am majorly crossing my fingers that it means that there will be no coverage changes at all so that I don't have to think about this anymore. With DD, we set my induction date for 41w and even that made me uncomfortable (I just wanted her to come on her own) but luckily she came before then.
@Louise_Belcher - I was coming to say the same thing about birthstones. Not something I'm into and I think that if you (general you) want a specific type of stone, you should just get it, whether it's your or your kids' birthstone or not. I don't even know what my kids' birthstones are.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
I'm "input" and Fiance is "output"... this was our schedule with DD
-DD wakes up (she was about every 3 hours)
-Fiance gets up, changes DD while I pee (because even when I'm not pregnant if i wake up I have to pee), then hands DD off to me and goes back to bed
-I feed DD normally in living room and get her back in crib asleep (with DD she was in the crib from Day 1, this time we may keep him in our room for the first few weeks)
-I pump for next feeding after DD asleep (hopefully EBF this time without pumping)
It worked for us with DD, but this time around things may be totally different. We'll just plan to wait and see.
My OB and I will consider induction at 39 weeks due to my history of precipitous labor. It is solely to prevent another emergent delivery, ensure it does not occur outside of a hospital (because my first almost did), and only if my body seems favorable for it at that time. If I'm closed up tight like a clam at 39 weeks, we'll check again at 40 weeks.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
DH does wake really early for PT and then comes home for an hour or so before returning back to work. During the time he's home, he wakes the girls up and gets them breakfast and dressed and I get to sleep a little longer or take a shower in peace! So I'll handle middle of the night feedings if he does morning duty with the kids!
If I was not a SAHM I would fully expect equal night time duties!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
DH will also be the go-to person for anything happening overnight with the other kids (e.g. if they wake up from the baby, or just if they have their own issues.)
@kns1988 I couldn't agree with you more about the mommy martyrs! Then they complain about their incompetent husbands! I'm like, "if you ever let him TRY maybe he'd be able to do it!" So bad. DH and I fully subscribe to the "both of us need to be experts at everything" mantra. We still divide up some things, but there's no house expert or child expert...and if there is, it's not me! haha
Finally I thought of a UO - baby talk is dumb. My cousin called nursing "num nums". Ew. Or even my adult friend calls things "super yum". So not really baby talk, but it's like a Rachel Ray-ism. Can't we just call it olive oil or a sandwich??
sort of random tangent to that - last week I was on a plane reading the safety info card to DD (she loves it so I read it every flight. Usually both legs, since we almost always have a layover.) the lady next to me, a mom of two young kids says to me "wow you talk to her like a real person". Thanks? Because a 4yr old isn't a real person? Or because I didn't talk down to her?
@kns1988 No joke! I remember my first encounter with one of those trees. I was with my mom and turned to say "OMG that tree smells like.." and she stopped me and said "Don't say it" lol. Also totally agree on mommy martyrs. Let him try and he will be great. Maybe he will do something different then you but it doesn't make it wrong. It might be dark, but I can't help but think I want him to be prepared in case something happens to me.
I love reading everyones different ways to handle MOTN. Ours was pretty much the same as @BeachMommy2B with DH getting up first and doing diaper duty then I stepped in for feeding. Once we had to give up on bfing and switch completely to formula we assigned nights. I took 4 nights and he took 3 based on next day schedules. This way multiple times a week we each got a full night's sleep. He also took Saturday morning and I took Sunday so we each got to sleep in a smidge once a week. Also regarding diapers he basically changed every diaper he was present for in the first few months. It now goes by who smells it firsts wins the honor. Winner, winner, poopy diaper!!
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
However. You know how some people say pa-jam-as and some say pa-jah-mas? My friend (a different one than super yum) calls them "jah-mees" - like jammies but the soft Ah sound. It's weird and adorable at the same time.
collage teams: don't even understand in the slightest. It's not a thing here and I just don't understand at all, but then your pathetic version of "football" is laughable anyway so what does it matter to me
MOTN: when DS was born H was unemployed and we FF so we shared duties, usually we would both be up, but he was a pretty good sleeper so it wasn't an issue. It was solely me when H went back to work and I assume it will be just me again, he may take over a morning feed this time depending on when he gets up/when LO wakes up, we'll just play it by ear, hopefully DS will be sleeping in his own room by that point so I won't have to deal with 2 kids up, but H should be able to deal with DS pretty easily.
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
I dont have an opinion on the collegiate sports fans locality issue but I also don't understand collegiate sports really anyway. Give me Professional sports anyday.
As for the other uo's i dont have much of an opinion on them but dh does root for a team that is not where we went to school.
We don't do baby talk. Other than Fiance says poops (plural) I have no idea why, and his family calls pacifiers "chuppys" WTF is that? We also don't talk in baby voices, I hate when people do that! My family up north still talk to their 4 year old in a baby voice...
MOTN duties- My husband doesn't hear the monitor which I think is something of a lie except when he watches ds on sundays he needs the monitor turned up to 5 or 6 before i leave so he will wake up when ds does. I need it only on one! Anyway when I am on maternity leave I am "not working" according to him and am solely responsible for the baby at night. When I go back to work DH takes the anytime after the baby goes to bed till 1230 am shift then I take the 1230 to anytime I get up to go to work time. I eped with ds so this worked out fine when I would leave some milk out for dh during that time. But again my husband doesn't hear the monitor and wont take the monitor over to his side during his shift I have to hear the baby and wake him to go do his shift which is so irritating. He also "cant be expected to remember to turn the volume back up on the monitor" when he comes back from feeding baby so I have to deal with hearing that over the monitor as i am trying to sleep.... Its an imperfect system we have but the shift worked best for us.
ETA: Despite my earlier declaration about being "meh" about college sports, DH is a die hard CU football fan (even though they have pretty much been the worst for the past near decade). We actually have a CU flag currently flying in the front of our house...
Baby was in our room until 3/4 months and my husband was clocking in a solid 7-8 hours a night while I was getting maybe 3 total broken up by about an hour at a time. I never left the room and would either sit in bed with Mr. Fussy Pants or pace the room with him.
May '17 labor memes
Also, I think "jammies" and "Pjs" are perfectly acceptable. I just can't handle "jammers" as it's not even a NN for PJs.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor