Waiting for AF after MC

justsuzie

@keaton732 Glad to hear your news but next time please include a tw in your post.  This board is waiting for AF.  A lot of us are fresh off of a loss and get upset by a bfp mention especially when we haven't even gotten AF yet. Some of us ignore certain threads to avoid bfp mentions. 

RiverSong15

justsuzie said:

@keaton732 Glad to hear your news but next time please include a tw in your post.  This board is waiting for AF.  A lot of us are fresh off of a loss and get upset by a bfp mention especially when we haven't even gotten AF yet. Some of us ignore certain threads to avoid bfp mentions. 

This^^^ Especially since this is the only thread you've participated in, most people on this board probably don't know you and this BFP announcement could be hurtful. 

SP128

@justsuzie and @RiverSong15. My, you ladies are so much more polite than my thought bubbles!  Agree to everything you said. 

RiverSong15

@SP128 I was also more polite than my OWN thought bubble.... LOL.

Also, I'll now be on the lookout for neighbor cats sitting on my doorstep, since that apparently means I'll be pregnant....

babypi

Question for the ladies that have been temping to figure out their cycle after MC, when did you start? I'm a week out from my D&C and have been sleeping poorly because of the pains and meds, so i haven't started tracking temps yet. any suggestions for the best time to do so? If it matters, I'm most interested in tracking this cycle for peace of mind, not actively TTC this month.

RiverSong15

@babypi I had natural MCs, but I started temping about 10-12 days after the MC. I Od a little late for me both times (CD19-CD23), so it was plenty of time to catch it. If you feel like starting temping, I'd just go for it.

keaton732

Well I'm sorry ladies, thanks for that notice. I was actually asked from someone else to post it on here that's why it was done because I wasn't going to say anything on here. I know how painful it could be for I have experienced it myself. But anywho, I apologize!!!!! 

justsuzie

@babypi I started temping even before AF.  I figured that the more info I had the better.  Also, I had never tempted before so I was trying to get the hang of it.  I have noticed through temping that I have a fairly consistent bbt. Like @RiverSong15 said it can't hurt to start now.  

babypi

Thanks @RiverSong15 and @justsuzie  I did go ahead and start this morning. I think it'll take a while for me to get good at consistency.

Uhlease13

@babypi I think it's a good idea to start temping as soon as you feel ready (and to get some consistency like you mentioned!) I started temping 4 weeks after my D&C and it's really helped me see what my cycles were doing! 

justsuzie

I've had the worst cramps the past few days but still no AF.  I saw my new OB today and she said that it really is just a waiting game.  I think I O'd last weekend but I am a moron with those OPKs and I just started temping so who knows if I am doing that right either.  My HCG is less than 5 so it should be any day now.   All I want for xmas is AF, weird. 

@babypi  Hope you are sleeping better and are in less pain.

babypi

I'm finally not cramping anymore and the bleeding has slowed to light spotting, so I'm really hoping for the all-clear from my OB tomorrow morning. 

@justsuzie How are you doing? It's great to hear you're below 5 so your body can start to return to normal. I'm finally getting only faint positives on HPT, which I wasn't expecting at 10 days out. I hope your wait goes quickly. 

justsuzie

@babypi Still no AF.  So weird, but I guess the first cycle is going to be wonky.  I am benched 2 cycles so the wait is killing me.  I just need to get the game started!

SP128

@justsuzie  Still here rooting for you!!!

justsuzie

@SP128 Thanks.  I'm trying not to think about it.  Ugh, no luck.

TheFox&TheSparrow

*****TW***** previous pregnancy/child mentioned (is that how i'm supposed to that? Its been so long since I've been on here, I'm sorry if I'm doing it wrong)

Hey guys, jumping in here late to the party. I'm new to this board, I haven't really been on here regularly since 2011 actually. Anyways, I had a surprise pregnancy. We were done having kids since my last baby was a really scary experience. I had a clot in my placenta that traveled the chord to his brain and caused a hemorrhage, he was born 5 weeks early but the size of a 30 wker due to the IUGR and spent a while in the NICU. He now has hemaplegia cerebral palsy from the brain damage. He is doing really well though! 
SO. When I got pregnant again after we were done it was really shocking/scary. Just when we started to get excited things went downhill. I had ultrasounds every 5 days for over a month. They thought at one point I had a twin stuck in my left tube but decided it was a cyst. Then finally when i should have been about 10 weeks I had a d&c, the baby was not developing. We have been absolutely heart broken, and I don't even know how to just move on with life.
That was 4 weeks ago now and I'm hoping my period returns soon. BUT I am still getting positive pregnancy tests so it seems like my hcg is declining slowly. I thought last night that i'd finally gotten a negative test, but it just took longer to develop and its definitely still positive. SO frustrating!!!
I don't know if we'll be trying again or not since it was such a horrible experience, and because of the high risk/health risks we'd be taking on. But I also don't know how to heal from something like this without getting pregnant again. Its all I can think about. 

Wingless00

@TheFox&TheSparrow I'm so sorry for your loss and the difficult times you have faced. I am wishing the best for you and your husband and hope that you find the support you need, here or elsewhere.

Since one of the things that has helped me the most is to know that I'm not alone in what I have experienced , I will say that I strongly identified with what you said about not being sure if you want to get pregnant again because of health risks but also the sense that getting pregnant is the only way to heal from a loss. I'm TTC right now despite a number of risks and the possibility of a poor outcome (DH and I are carriers of the same genetic disease). It was hard to make the decision to TTC again and the process of trying is very scary. I'm terrified, sad, and anxious. Somedays I wonder if we are being insane to try despite everything. But I can't think of anything else and feel like if we don't try all I'll be left with for the rest of my life is the loss. In addition, my husband desperately wants children and I'm not ready just yet to face potential consequences that deciding not to try might have on our marriage. 

While we were making up our minds about trying again, I lurked this board like crazy! I have found tremendous comfort and support here but also don't come across a lot of discussion about feeling conflicted about TTC. PM if you ever want to vent your thoughts and feelings to someone. 

justsuzie

@TheFox&TheSparrow Sorry you are here. This board has helped me not only grieve, but learn more about what was happening to my body by people who have experienced loss.  I feel like the women here actually hear what everyone says and respond helpfully and with empathy.  

I am scared as hell to ttc again.  I have 2 months on the bench which I am using to gain perspective and practice staying calm even when times are stressful.  I have anxiety and after a loss I am scared that the anxiety of getting pregnant again will take over.  

Good luck in the process.

TheFox&TheSparrow

@justsuzie and @Wingless00 thank you SO much for the kind words, it really helps. This entire experience is just crushing. I've also had three chemical pregnancies and IF issues, but they didn't affect me the way this loss did. Maybe because this one way so much later, and this was my first d&c. And also having to watch how it's impacted my 5 and 3 yr old has been so hard...they don't understand and keep asking if we can have the baby back, or they forget and I hear them chatting about what we'll name it. Also my best friend and my SIL are three weeks ahead of what i should be. 

Does anyone else feel like they just can't stand being out in public and having to fake normalcy/happiness? I don't want to talk to any of my friends. 

@Wingless00 , I totally understand your hesitancy and feelings. Its such a hard decision to make period, but also when you're considering how to have your family and your spouse's feelings too...agh it just gets so complicated. My husband is kind of on the other side of the fence. He is terrified of the health risks and seems to think that tempting fate so to speak would be careless and we should just be done. Or foster or adopt. Which i am NOT ready to think about at all, we already have a ton on our plate. Its the being pregnant again that I can't imagine being able to let go of. But at the same time I feel like the experience is totally ruined for me. GAH! 

@justsuzie
I'm so sad that you're having a hard time too. Two months feels like an eternity at this stage in the game doesn't it?! I hope it doesn't drag too bad for you, and that once you're pregnant again you'll be able to look forward in hope and not let the fear take over. I don't say that lightly, because I KNOW how insanely impossible it seems, especially now. But I know its possible too.  

TheFox&TheSparrow

Woke up with AF this morning!!!! I have never had heavy bleeding in my life, but I figure since it's my first since the miscarriage that it's from that. Super relived that it's here. 

Mack2342

@TheFox&TheSparrow. My first cycle after d&c was crazy heavy.  I'm on 4th cycle and it finally feels normal. Glad it finally arrived for you 

TheFox&TheSparrow

Thanks @Mack2342! It started off heavy but has trailed off to light (which is normal for me). I'm definitely feeling better now. 

justsuzie

so 3 weeks of AF cramps and no AF...wtf?  Did any of you get major cramps before your first cycle?

Mack2342

@justsuzie.  My cramps come stronger now but usually just a few days before.   Maybe a week ahead but not 3.  I hope you get relief soon. 3 weeks of cramping is no fun 

weareturtles

@justsuzie - I've been choosing to stay away from the boards due to all of the stress and complication from my own situation, but dammit I'm sad to see you here in this situation. Hang in there, but definitely advocate for yourself with your doctor. I'm a doctor and I noticed things that my doctors weren't noticing, which prompted me to push them to do more. I cannot even imagine what the situation would have been if I did not have medical training. *hugs*

justsuzie

@weareturtles Thanks for the encouragement.  I am giving it until the new year before I am going to go back in.  This is pushing my ttc way back.  I was hoping to be ttc by february.  Now it looks like March is the soonest. So disheartening.  Trying to stay optimistic though. 

RiverSong15

@justsuzie I don't know much about ectopics and methotrexate, but I thought the issue was that methotrexate binds folic acid, and you need three cycles (or months) to build it back up. How long has it been since your ectopic and when you got a negative test? If AF goes 60 days without showing, your OB can give you meds to jump start your cycle. You could also ask your OB if the three cycle rule is really three cycles or three months. She may still give you the go ahead to try in Feb. Hugs tho!

MimoCa

@justsuzie with my last MC, my doctor told me if I didn't get my period within 2/3 months, she would give me a pill to jump start it. Definitely go back to your doctor and let them know.

brooklyngirl18

@justsuzie i'm sorry you're still waiting on AF, i know the wait is brutal. It should be any day now that your hcg is super low. For what it's worth, I started trying after my second period following my ectopic. i hope af shows up soon!

justsuzie

@RiverSong15, @MimoCa, & @brooklyngirl18  My dr said 2 full cycles before I can try again.  She is a big proponent of getting your folic acid levels up naturally rather than relying solely on prenatals.  I guess it will also make me feel like I did all I could, waiting-wise so when I do get pg again I will have that piece-of-mind.   I will definitely request the jump start meds after the weekend if it doesn't get here.  

Another thing that has got me riddled with anxiety is that I have odds stacked against me with having another ectopic, and then if not, the chance of a MC and the fact that I'm almost 37.  It's all so daunting.  All the fun has been taken out of the process.  I think back to before the ectopic when everything was so exciting....can't take anything for granted anymore. 

MimoCa

@justsuzie honestly I don't know what to say to help. I feel the same. It's all so daunting and you don't want to be hurt or disappointed anymore.

SP128

@justsuzie I think calling doctor if af doesn't show up is a good idea. I so heAr you on being afraid of another mc. Ignorance was bliss. I'll be 36 in January 

Mack2342

@justsuzie. I think calling your doctor is a good idea too. I'm 41 and will be 42 in a few months.  While the age makes me nervous as well as that fact that I had a MC, the idea of not trying again makes me more nervous. I want so much to be pregnant again.  ***TW-LC**** I had my son at 40 and he is healthy.   So I don't think your age should be of great concern.   While I know it is a concern my doctor is great about it.  

jen83mn

justsuzie said:

How low did everyone get with their HCG before you didn't have to go for blood tests any longer?  

My doctor is having me get tested weekly until my levels are 3 or lower. However, because I had an early miscarriage at 4.5 weeks, my HCG level was only 57 to start with and dropped to 46 within 2 days.

Also, I took a pregnancy test today and the line was just barely there - I had to squint to see it. So I'm guessing my levels have dropped even further since Friday when I had my last HCG drawn.

Hoping AF comes soon for you!

justsuzie

@jen83mn I actually got AF 4 days ago. Long wait!  Thanks though.  Even when my hpt line was barely there my hcg was 17 and took another 2 weeks to drop below 5.  Then AF showed 3.5 weeks later and I had cramps the entire 3.5 weeks.  Good luck to you.  The wait for AF was by far the worst wait for me in this whole process.  

jen83mn

@justsuzie

Thank you for letting me know what to expect! At least now I won't go in expecting my blood work to be back to normal already, even with an almost negative pregnancy test. It helps to be prepared

Glad you finally got AF! We're going to hold off on trying again until June, so I won't have an urgent need for AF to come right away other than wanting to know my cycles are back on track by the time we do start trying again, but it is very helpful to know your experience so I don't get discouraged if my numbers don't drop as quickly as I'd hoped they would. Thank you! Good luck to you!

NYTino24

Hi, ladies! I introduced myself in the MC / Loss group after a loss three days ago. I'm nowhere ready to start TTC again (have some medical issues to sort out apparently) but I have a couple of questions and wanted to ask them here, so I hope it's okay. I wasn't thinking clearly enough to ask my OB these. Should I stop prenatal vitamins?  We will ultimately TTC again in a few cycles depending on how far we get with testing. I know temping is a crapshoot for a while post loss, but how much have your temps varied? I know I should spend more time lurking... it just feels so personal considering the situation we are all in. Love to you all.

RiverSong15

@NYTino24 I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome to the board. Don't worry about not being TTC right now. We have many women here on the bench for various reasons (I spent 6 months on the bench myself), and no one ever minds if they participate in any of the threads. And feel free to lurk (or not) as much as you want or are able to. 

As as far as PNVs go, I've only seen women told not to take them if they had an ectopic and were given methotrexate. I MCd naturally twice, and my OB said to keep taking them. I stopped for a week each time just because taking them made me cry, but that wasn't for medical reasons. After my first loss, I started temping about 10 days afterwards. My temps were a little rockier, but I still ovulated almost on time. Unfortunately, every woman is different, and so women do see wildly varying temps or annovulatory cycles. So, there's no real way to know what will happen with your body. 

Hugs for all of this though. It's not easy and really sucks.

laeberge3

@NYTino24. Sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. I kept taking my PNV after my natural MC so I think you're okay to continue unless you had methotrexate. I didn't temp before the first BFP but started to afterward so I can't compare, but my cycle itself was completely out of whack for a number of months with anovulatory cycles and unexplained bleeding. It really is different for everyone, but I hope your cycles and temps are back on track quickly! 

NYTino24

Thank you @laeberge3. I don't know if I should call the OB to see my HCG level (I asked her to order it when I had to get my rhogam shot at the hospital.) I had it done when they did the blood typing confirmation and that came back in a couple of hours, so I feel like I should have gotten an answer. My HPT is still positive, as I expected, about as dark as it was at maybe 5 weeks. I wish I had gotten that and the progesterone taken when I started to bleed and when we did the MC confirmation... hoping to hear from the perinatologist soon.