TTC After a Loss

**June TWW**

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Re: **June TWW**

  • Sorry @Aera11 and @TScalei  This whole process can be so frustrating. 

    I am 9DPO and stark white test this morning. Too early to expect much else, but still a bummer.
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



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  • edited June 2016
    I'm hanging tight at 7dpo. The wait is almost over! 

    Here's my chart- 



    Time for some mindless Netflix. 

    Edit typo 
  • roper2617roper2617 member
    edited June 2016
    Sorry to hear about the BFNs and AF showing her face. I'm still keeping my fingers and toes crossed for everybody still waiting. 
    Edited because it didn't want to post my whole thing. Grrrr mobile. 
    ------------------------------------------------------------
    Me: 26 DH: 28  
    TTC #1 since 06/2014
    BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
    BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17


  • @reneeannemm - I know i have wondered if I should take a cycle or two off because it's just too much.  But then I don't know if I could do it. We did NTNP when we first started TTC and then nothing happened and we have been NTNP since my mc in March until this past cycle. I feel like I try to relax and nothing happens and then I do OPKs, plotting out when to BD and nothing happens except the one time it did ending in mc. Its just so frustrating.
    Anyways, good luck with your appts this week I hope you get some answers and decide to do whatever feels good for you!
  • @reneeannemm Glad you have your ultrasound tomorrow, hopefully it gives you some answers regarding your pain. I just noticed that you are coming up on your year TTC, I know that's a hard milestone that I've unfortunately seen twice. If NTNP feels right to you and would make you feel more peaceful maybe it's worth a shot? I know for me after temping so long, I had a very good indication as to when I was ovulating regardless, so I'd just focus on that time period. Sometimes the OPKs, temping and obsession can make it hard to focus on anything else. 

    @TScalei So sorry about AF. I have convince myself I was pregnant more times than I care to admit. The brain is so powerful. I used to laugh at phantom pregnancies I"d see on TV, but having been down this crazy TTC/TTCAL road I can actually see how that happens. Seriously.

    Pretty chart @iceandsnowflakes29!

    @Aera11 So sorry. This all sucks. 
  • @reneeannemm I agree. Ditch the temping and opks. Or, if you temp, just confirm O and don't temp your Luetal phase. 
  • Thanks @TScalei @iceandsnowflakes29 Maybe I'll stop temping my luteal phase, though I sometimes have a slow rise and that means O is hard to determine. Actually, FF moved my crosshairs so I'm 11DPO (again) today, which makes more sense when I look at it. 

    @BornReady I'm sorry. It's not a milestone I want to get to, as it follows my EDD by about four days. I feel guilty like I'm making this all happen - I thought I would miscarry, I did. I thought we'd be the people who have trouble having a baby - here we are. Obviously that's not true, but those irrational feelings always hang out in the background. I'm generally super positive, but there's a nagging sensation regarding all of this - what if that's holding us back in some way?

    I have to ask, do you think we should have a sperm analysis done on DH? The doctor said "well, we know you can get pregnant so that's probably not it, but we'll test if you want". What if that conception was a one-off? 
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @reneeannemm I also have been considering a sperm analysis for DH. I feel like just because we got pregnant once doesn't mean that their isn't some type of problem with DH. It seems to take us way longer than normal to get pregnant which makes me worry that something is off with one of us. With sperm my understanding is that they test more than just the sperm count. They also look at how they move and the quality. From what I've read most of these things can be corrected or helped with supplements or dietary changes...but I'm not an expert. 

    I I did have DH talk to his primary doc and he wrote up a prescription for one no problem. We are waiting though because he didn't get a chance to do it before I went into my FW and we obviously don't want to waste those guys right now! Lol
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @reneeannemm I think we should be welcome to all the tests we want. A semen analysis costs like $70 out of pocket. I begged my OBGYN for one after my miscarriage and he refused like I was asking for a CT scan or something. Turns out when we got one we have a significant MFI issue. I've been pregnant twice, once resulting in a live birth (over a year trying) and another in miscarriage. While my doctor thinks we can obviously get pregnant on our own, it would likely take a significant amount of time or luck. 

    I got pregnant the month of my testing the first time around. DH had an order for a SA, but we held off until I knew the results of that cycle. It remains one of my biggest regrets that we didn't do that SA then because we wouldn't have had to wait another year for more testing this time around. Honestly, the whole testing thing makes me crazy how it is so closely guarded.  

    I had similar feelings to you as well and I constantly go between whether or not that was intuition or just plain old anxiety on my part. I listen to a podcast every once in a while about potential blocks we put out that are impacting our TTC journey. It's a little out there talking about energy and ancestral karma etc., but I find the woman's voice relaxing and try and use the meditations to project more positively. It's hard for me, I feel like I have some sort of TTC PTSD that makes me super guarded and negative. 

    Sorry for the long response!
  • @reneeannemm I am all for getting all the information so I think if you guys want it you should get the SA. Esp since like Pp said its not super expensive. 
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • @bornready - that was super helpful. I know i was just thinking last night I wonder if DH should get an SA. It took us 8 months to get pregnant the first time (ended in mc). My Dr was pretty firm that it had to be a year of trying to refer me to an RE but ordered initial bloodwork on me and everything came back fine. I just feel that it takes us a long time to get pregnant and I don't know why. I just started my second cycle post mc so maybe it really doesn't but I just feel so negative about it. I'm afraid I'm too stressed/ negative about it and maybe that's why it's not happening. Then I'm stressed about being stressed.  I just wish I had a reason it wasnt happening. 
  • @reneeannemm okay forgive me because this is a bit of a trigger but



    TW pregnancy mentioned 




    It took 4 years to conceive the first time. DH had a SA done and the results came back 15 million with low motility and low morphology. Our IUIS only resulted in about 3 million good swimmers and they failed. 

    Fast forward about 2 years and I started to get pregnant every month. My loss due date months are July, August, September, and October. 

    I asked my OB what changed, how could we go from zero to fertile and he said sperm changes. He said guys can have bad months and really, to diagnose MFI you should take the average of 3 SAs. 

    Our SA was cheap and other than the masterbating into a cup, not bad. Honestly, I think it's a good place to start. 





  • @BornReady No, thank you so, so much. Not too long. I appreciate it a lot. I don't think that you're negative at all; I think you have had a hard road and you have a different perspective. 

    @TScalei I just want a reason, too. 

    @iceandsnowflakes29 Thank you, that's very helpful.

    My provincial insurance will definitely cover the SA, so not out of pocket. I think genetic testing, without waiting the full year (which may be in November if they're counting the loss) would be out of pocket, but I can wait for that. Our insurance here in Ontario is really amazing - our first round of IVF is actually covered, if that's where we end up. Anyway, I'll be discussing this all with my family doctor very soon but it's nice to go in with  all the information possible. 
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • So sorry @Aera11 and @Tscalei :(

    Keep holding strong @iceandsnowflakes29!

    @reneeannemm good luck at your ultrasound tomorrow. I think if you feel you want to start some testing, I don't think it would hurt if its possible.

    My DH got a SA before we got married- we met in the USA but he's from Germany so before he moved here permanently he decided to get things checked out while he could still use their insurance because it would be covered. Everything looked great but that was 3 years ago so not sure if he would need another one if its still hard for us to get pregnant again.

  • Aera11Aera11 member
    Thanks ladies :) it's always so stressful at the end of the TWW and now at CD2, I'm all zen-like, which is hilarious.
  • @iceandsnowflakes29- that really gives me hope that your fertility can change. I guess I just feel that since it took us longer the first time that that is the way it is always going to be. It makes me feel bad bec it seems it likes its so easy for other people. Its like whats wrong with me?

    @aera11 - I know I feel like go from crazy at the end of tww, breakdown when I get AF and now I am at CD2 as well and starting to feel all zenlike again. No wonder this process is so draining!?

    @bornready - I also know how you feel about ptsd from ttc I feel that way too. Sometimes I lurk on the ttc boards and some of the girls their seem so happy and excited. Everything about it fills me with anxiety and dread. Also what is the name of the podcast you listen too _ i could use all the help with relaxing I can get! lol
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    Still no AF. She's 2 days late but I am too afraid to test again. I am going to stick to my resolve and not test until I get home.
  • Just another note on sperm and why SA's can be so different. While there are definitely sperm issues that an be permanent, there are also many things that affect sperm temporarily. Sperm takes three months to develop, so our men's sperm today could be affected by things they did three months ago. I discovered this partly because DH is a bit of a smoker (smokes at work, when drinking, when stressed) and I absolutely hate it and want him to quit and HE wants to quit but struggles. He promises to quit once I get pregnant but after googling I really wish I could get him to quit NOW, since it can affect his sperm three months from now when we start TTC :(  I know plenty of smokers have healthy babies but I don't want to take chances. Anyways, my point is that diet and lifestyle can cause temporary changes in male fertility and result in vastly different SA results.
  • Aera11Aera11 member
    @TScalei I am glad you're feeling zen-like too! yes, the emotional rollercoaster we all ride is so draining...we need to cut ourselves a little slack :) I had to go buy a baby gift for DH's cousin who lives out of state and I barely know....but I did that today because I knew my zen-like mood could handle Buy Buy Baby/Baby Gap with all the newborns and bumps.  


  • Congratulations @jdmrs! A line is a line!!! That sounds like a BFP to me. Wasn't going to say anything on your post the other day, but I had the faintest of the faint line right before my last BFP. I was guessing your line would get darker and I was right! Yay!! Good luck to you.
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    @chloe97 thank you! I can't allow myself to be happy about it yet. I'm still not convinced it's but I'll call tomorrow and beg for some betas. We're leaving for home tomorrow but I'll call when we're on the road.
  • Technically I'm supposed to be over at WTO but I just love reading all the boards! Hoping for an even darker line tomorrow @JDMRS! Good luck :)
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • edited June 2016
    @JDMRS  I'm hoping to follow right behind you! Congrats!!!

    Edit to add I type this as DH is out buying more tests. I have 4 of my 8 left but, 3 of those
     are digitals. 

    Eta × 2 3 digitals because they came with the flat FRERs. 
  • @JDMRS eee! FX for you :) And also for @iceandsnowflakes29, your chart looks good!
  • Congrats @JDMRS!!! Hope you can get those betas and everything looks good!
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • Exciting @jdmrs!! Fingers crossed! A line is a line!
  • FX @JDMRS!!!!
    “Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”  ~Maya Angelou

    ~~~~ TW ~~~~~~

    Me: 40    DH: 39
    Married 12.19.13
    BFP #1 1/14, MC 2/14 (6wks)
    BFP #2 1/15, MMC/D&C 3/15 (12wks)
    BFP #3 6/15, MC 8/15 (9wks)
    BFP #4 4/16, MC 4/16 (5wks)
    BFP #5 7/16, MMC 8/16 (10 wks)
    BFP #6 3/4 , EDD 11/9/17
  • Coming out from lurking - congrats @JDMRS
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • Congrats @JDMRS!
    Me: 31 DH: 32
    Married April 2014
    TTC since December 2015
    1st BFP: February 8, 2016; MMC at 7 weeks, 3 days; Discovered at 10 weeks; D&C March 25
    2nd BFP: June 20, 2016; CP June 22, 2016
    3rd BFP: August 13, 2016!!  Fingers crossed!!

  • Coming back after taking a weekend off the boards. Congrats @JDMRS FX for good betas!! Sorry about the AF and BFN for everyone else! I officially had AF come over the weekend but wanted to check in with you ladies before I go off to WTO!
    Married: June 2011
    TTC #1: September 2015-January 2016
    BFP #1: 1/25/16 - MMC Diagnosed 3/22/16
    TTCAL: June 2016
    BFP #2: 8/26/16 - EDD 5/9/17
    Jackson born 5/6/17 at 8:36 PM - 9lbs 5oz & 21in
      Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @JDMRS Congratulations! I hope you feel more comfortable soon. Best of luck to you in your pregnancy!
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • FX! @natsfan2442

    @dpjennifer How long is your usual luteal phase? If it's 14 or less, I don't think you need to use FMU, just something concentrated. FX!!!
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @reneeannemm Well, ever since the MC it's been running 11-14 days (skipping the first cycle after MC they are respectably 11, 12, 14, 13, and 11).  The problem is my temps are SO wonky this time and never truly 'jumped' like they usually do so I'm not 100% on my day of O.  That's really what's throwing the whole day count off.  
    FF says O on day 19.  I think O is day 22 cause that was my last day of EWCM and temps jump a bit more after that.  The big jump doesn't happen til after day 26... but CM and everything don't really point to that.  Guess we'll wait and see? 

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    FET #2: September 2024 (failed)

    FET #3: December 2024 (failed)

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • Spartanrd4Spartanrd4 member
    edited June 2016

    FX @natsfan2442 and @dpjennifer! Lets keep this BFP train going! :)

    I am at 6DPO and trying not to SS....I have been feeling some cramping on/off past few days and a lot of creamy CM. Last cycle I had a shorter lp than normal so I am so scared this is AF coming. Until she shows up I'm going to just try and keep my mind off it all (and stop stalking at my chart every 5 seconds).

  • @JDMRS Congrats! So happy for you!

    Fx for @dpjennifer and @natsfan2442!

    This is so exciting!
  • @dpjenni You could try adjusting the O detection method to Fertility Awareness method and see where that leaves you?
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

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