So there is a Dixie Chicks song that's been on my mind lately. It's called "More Love" and this line especially keeps popping into my head: "the doors are all closed between your heart and mine." To me it just perfectly describes trying to keep a marriage together through this kind of a change. We're both trying our hardest, there's just all this crap in the way these days. I just remind myself a lot these days to keep that door open.
Two nights ago I was crying a little after the kids went to bed and DH crept into the room and said he'd noticed I was having a rough week and carefully asked if maybe I might possibly be PMSing. You can imagine how well that went over. Well, this morning I went to the bathroom and... god dammit, he was right. Not telling him though.
Two nights ago I was crying a little after the kids went to bed and DH crept into the room and said he'd noticed I was having a rough week and carefully asked if maybe I might possibly be PMSing. You can imagine how well that went over. Well, this morning I went to the bathroom and... god dammit, he was right. Not telling him though.
Omg!! The only thing worse than a man suggesting PMS is when he's right in doing so
I love that my fiancé and I have reached a point where I'm asking him for advice about LO. He is so good at everything! It's amazing to watch him become such a great father. We are very lucky to have him. I want to install a nanny cam so I can learn his tricks...
Rave: Had a great Halloween with DH. Put LO to bed, then ate lots of candy while making out on the couch and watching the X Files. It was just what we needed to reconnect. I don't always have the energy to get down to business so it's easy to forget how important the physical part can be in a marriage. Feeling warm and fuzzy today
Rant - DH had most of the week off, and is now gone for most of this coming week (he left already today and will not return until late Friday or possibly Saturday). While he was home his habit was leave his shoes all around everywhere in the living room, even tho I have designated the bathroom right next to living room as the area for the few pairs of shoes we switch out of. Its literally two feet away from where he had three pairs of shoes everywhere. Left clothes just thrown all over the room, despite the hooks I put up to hang hoodies and hats on. And each time he took a bottle to the kitchen he just left it next to the sink, so when I went into the kitchen later there were 4 bottles all waiting to be washed. So I wash them and tell him that just because we have more bottles now doesn't mean they shouldn't be washed as we go along, like we did when we only had three bottles. So what happens the next day? All the bottles are dirty except for one when I go into the kitchen. Repeat the day before, along with the wish that he wash the bottles when he takes them into the kitchen (as we use them). And yesterday, I wash 4 at a time again after returning from the store, and then at the end of the night end up washing two more.
Basically, all he did with 5 days off is a load of LOs laundry (which I have to fold and put away), and brought a rug upstairs for LOs room (which I vacuumed). I now am going to be spending my 'after LO is in bed' time this week cleaning up the various clutter and mess I've been left with.
He did, however, put LO to bed every night because he will be gone this week and I could get some time to just veg while he changed LO and got him to sleep. So there's that
Two nights ago I was crying a little after the kids went to bed and DH crept into the room and said he'd noticed I was having a rough week and carefully asked if maybe I might possibly be PMSing. You can imagine how well that went over. Well, this morning I went to the bathroom and... god dammit, he was right. Not telling him though.
This made me laugh. Nothing is worse than a husband who is right about PMS.
now we're fighting because apparently i was rude while telling him that i wish he acted more like a father and actually spent time with LO. his argument is that i dont let him parent, and i just shut down all his parenting ideas. but.. so far the only idea ive heard from him is letting LO cry till he gives up hope/wears himself out at night.
@JessHeppell I'm going to go here and ask something so very inappropriate...... Does he have a giant package? And not the kind that you open at Christmas ?!
Is that why you tend to put up with this behavior. Love you girl I really do........ But this is crazy.
its mostly just venting. sure he's frustrating as all hell but i do love him. he's definitely amazing. just has those "i really wanna punch you in the face" moments
I need to vent for a second here. About a month ago my husband told me to pick vacation days for him to use for the remainder of the year. I specifically requested tomorrow (11/3) since it is my Birthday and I want to have a day with my little family together. He just informed me that he is working tomorrow. I actually just want to cry... I know it's silly, but I know we are not doing gifts this year, so it was the only thing I wanted and was very important to me. I am pretty sure he doesn't even remember that it is my Birthday tomorrow. I'm also upset that our CO inspection failed for 2 incredibly stupid things so another week at the I laws awaits me. I just want to tap out of life for a minute - all I wanted was a passing CO and a day with my family...$&@#%^*!!!!!!
I need to vent for a second here. About a month ago my husband told me to pick vacation days for him to use for the remainder of the year. I specifically requested tomorrow (11/3) since it is my Birthday and I want to have a day with my little family together. He just informed me that he is working tomorrow. I actually just want to cry... I know it's silly, but I know we are not doing gifts this year, so it was the only thing I wanted and was very important to me. I am pretty sure he doesn't even remember that it is my Birthday tomorrow. I'm also upset that our CO inspection failed for 2 incredibly stupid things so another week at the I laws awaits me. I just want to tap out of life for a minute - all I wanted was a passing CO and a day with my family...$&@#%^*!!!!!!
Not silly at all. I'm definitely finding it's easy to feel let down, now that my life has become one constant sacrifice. Much lesser things have made me cry in the last 5 months. Hopefully he didn't actually forget your birthday, and you can work out a "make-up" day.
Me-37, DH-38
Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012
Baby Boy born June 1, 2015
He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)
So DH is out of town for the week for work. I texted him to see how he was doing. He texts back what he's doing and then asks 'how's my boy?' Usually its something like 'how are you guys doing?' I think he was having that problem connecting at first but the bond is finally forming. He admitted to me the other day he spent a couple hours sitting and looking thru all LOs pictures when he was staying over at work. It warmed my heart to see that - 'how's my boy?' :x
I need to vent for a second here. About a month ago my husband told me to pick vacation days for him to use for the remainder of the year. I specifically requested tomorrow (11/3) since it is my Birthday and I want to have a day with my little family together. He just informed me that he is working tomorrow. I actually just want to cry... I know it's silly, but I know we are not doing gifts this year, so it was the only thing I wanted and was very important to me. I am pretty sure he doesn't even remember that it is my Birthday tomorrow. I'm also upset that our CO inspection failed for 2 incredibly stupid things so another week at the I laws awaits me. I just want to tap out of life for a minute - all I wanted was a passing CO and a day with my family...$&@#%^*!!!!!!
Aw, that sucks! I'm so sorry. Hopefully you can let him know how much this hurts you, and it means he'll never mess up your birthday ever again. (Spoken from experience!)
Maybe someone can watch LO for you tomorrow and you can go treat yourself to something fun?
Anyway, I don't have a fix, unfortunately. Just wanted to validate your disappointment.
This isn't necessary a rant or a rave but does anyone else's DH never take LO out of their pajamas? DH watches him most days and if I don't take him out of his fleece sleeper in the am he stays in it. It's comfortable, convenient, and cute. So its probably better than what I do. Maybe I should just buy some less grubby/threadbare sleepers and keep my mouth shut!
@henrytviii - I laughed out loud reading your post...I am all about comfort. As far as I'm concerned, LO doesn't care what he looks like and footie pjs are comfy and cover all the bases...warm body, warm feet, comfy, and no over the head battles to get him dressed , AND they are a breeze for diaper changes. Until he gets to the point of walking, I will dress him soley in footies...my MIL looks at me like I have lost my marbles, but we don't go anywhere anyways - other than walks and quick store trips for baby supplies (LO is still on his monitor) so why should I go through all the grief of getting him dressed? He is perfectly happy and so am I
Oh...and thank you for the kind words ladies...I am still feeling pretty down. DH just told me "just an FYI, I have to leave early for work tomorrow" in other words...don't expect help with LO tonight because I want to sleep. I know I should give him the benefit of the doubt but I am tired and cranky after a long day...LO was an unhappy little camper for some reason...because bottles on demand, warm baths, and snuggling with mommy is pure hell I guess???
^^Maybe he has a big surprise planned for your birthday and this is the messing with you part . . . Wish I had his number, I'd be calling him right now to make sure he comes through.
I want to tell you to remind him its your birthday and not play games. But I know I too would wait to see if he remembers. Its meaningless if it has to be with a reminder.
Good to know my kid isn't the only one in PJ's. We are out if the house a lot though. I have an only hand me downs and goodwill policy for kid clothing. The real clothes I have are cute and nice, our PJ's are frankly shabby. Might have to breakdown and get some new ones.
@henrytviii DH actually does a good job dressing LO but only because she goes to daycare. On the weekends, LO and DS might wear pj's until bath time and then get a clean pair for bed. Less laundry for mom.
@henryviii I dress LO daily for some reason, but when it's on DH, yep, he's in PJs!
@kezdk I am also hoping he has a surprise planned and is trying to throw you off. Happy early birthday, and I hope you get to do something fun tomorrow!
Another vote for pjs all day. For both baby and mom. And actually, I change him INTO pjs in the morning! Because I use the heavy fleece sleep suit, he sleeps in a thin onesie. If it kept him in a long sleeved and footed jammie he'd be too hot overnight. But just a onesie isn't warm enough anymore during the day, so when we wake up and he comes out of the sleep suit he goes into footed jammies. He does get fresh clothes (onesie at night, jammies in the morning) every day, but I don't 'dress' him unless we're doing something. Grocery / Target / Walmart runs don't count as 'something'. He gets dressed for bowling and when we go to things like festivals or social things (watching football games out of the house, family 'events' put on by the city, etc). Maybe he actually gets for real dressed once a week.
Too funny! Like @amccoy129 our LO gets dressed every day. Sometimes it's not til afternoon, but yeah. Mostly because he's been given SO many clothes and cute outfits, and I already feel like he barely gets to wear them all.
We try to send a postcard picture of him in the outfit (through Postagram) as the Thank You note.
We are so NOT a Pinterest Perfect family, though. This post is basically summarizing the one thing we have a handle on! I'm in yoga pants daily, while LO is lookin all fly.
Now that I have more actual clothes that are season appropriate, I may dress him more. If for no other reason than to get pictures of him in the clothes. Until I bought those clothes from that gal I had been slowly gathering cold weather gear. I had two pants and five hoodies, and that was the limit of my cold weather wardrobe for him. She had a bunch of cute stuff tho, so I may as well dress him in it. Maybe on the days DH is on duty, and I'll send him the photo for the day
@virginiaunicorn11 I am also in workout gear the majority of the time. It's incase I suddenly get the motivation to work out. I don't want my clothes to be what holds me back...haha
Rave! DH landed a great job and is loving it! Long hours but beats having duty or deployments! I'm so proud of his drive to provide for our little family and still striving to be the best father he can. Plus that overtime compensation =D>
I have a rave also...DH after being gone for week visiting his dad came home and decided he would take the 5am feeding, LO goes down for the night around 730 and sleeps till 530 and then wakes up hungry but she will go back to sleep after a bottle for about 1 1/2 hrs. For me to sleep a little extra( I always stay up after DH goes to bed, doing clean up from last bottle and dinner time clean up, DH goes to bed right after LO) has been great! We were on day 4 this morning, so I hope tomorrow works out this way also! It has been so nice to have my coffee and get everything squared away before she wakes up! I know when he has duty I will complain, but right now I'm riding this restful wave!
Rave - It's been a rough go the past month or so for me & I sent DH this text last week. "I promise one day you will come home from work & I won't be dead tired, talking about my long, not good day & I'll have a meal ready. This won't last forever"
& this man says. "& I promise to love you and help you until that day." not a huge deal, but the man is getting quite a bit of pizza & stouffers lately with a pitiful wife after a long days work. He's dealing pretty amazing for me.
Hooray for husbands stepping up and wives recognizing it! Marriage, yo. Not for the weak.
DH is back to being my love after a needed four days apart. He got up with LO at night without my asking (LO was up every. hour.), took LO downstairs at 6:45 so I could sleep more (Bump), and has apologized and said lovely things.
Poor guy, though. We were so excited to see LO's reaction when he saw DH. LO was all, "Meh. I want Mom" both last night and this morning. It bummed DH out a bit, though I hear them giggling together downstairs, so hopefully that's passed.
Love my little family. I definitely feel closer to DH and more "complete" now that we have LO.
Yeah, ^^ I kinda wish LO would be more obvious in his happiness at seeing DH again when he comes home from being on duty. But then again, he laughs a lot more for DH than he does for me. I must not be very funny.
Re: DH rants and raves for October
We had some same-sex lady couples on here. Wonder if it's a marriage thing or a guy thing?
wow jealous.
Basically, all he did with 5 days off is a load of LOs laundry (which I have to fold and put away), and brought a rug upstairs for LOs room (which I vacuumed). I now am going to be spending my 'after LO is in bed' time this week cleaning up the various clutter and mess I've been left with.
He did, however, put LO to bed every night because he will be gone this week and I could get some time to just veg while he changed LO and got him to sleep. So there's that
Is your man more redeeming than he sounds? Because from what you've posted, frankly, it sounds like you and LO deserve better.
If you're just venting, cool. I do that, probably too much. But some of the things your man pulls are pretty crappy.
So unless he's making up for it in other ways, maybe some type of action is needed to make him step it up?
I'm going to go here and ask something so very inappropriate......
Does he have a giant package?
And not the kind that you open at Christmas ?!
Is that why you tend to put up with this behavior. Love you girl I really do........ But this is crazy.
Maybe someone can watch LO for you tomorrow and you can go treat yourself to something fun?
Anyway, I don't have a fix, unfortunately. Just wanted to validate your disappointment.
I want to tell you to remind him its your birthday and not play games. But I know I too would wait to see if he remembers. Its meaningless if it has to be with a reminder.
Good to know my kid isn't the only one in PJ's. We are out if the house a lot though. I have an only hand me downs and goodwill policy for kid clothing. The real clothes I have are cute and nice, our PJ's are frankly shabby. Might have to breakdown and get some new ones.
@kezdk I am also hoping he has a surprise planned and is trying to throw you off. Happy early birthday, and I hope you get to do something fun tomorrow!
We try to send a postcard picture of him in the outfit (through Postagram) as the Thank You note.
We are so NOT a Pinterest Perfect family, though. This post is basically summarizing the one thing we have a handle on! I'm in yoga pants daily, while LO is lookin all fly.
It's been a rough go the past month or so for me & I sent DH this text last week.
"I promise one day you will come home from work & I won't be dead tired, talking about my long, not good day & I'll have a meal ready. This won't last forever"
& this man says.
"& I promise to love you and help you until that day."
DH is back to being my love after a needed four days apart. He got up with LO at night without my asking (LO was up every. hour.), took LO downstairs at 6:45 so I could sleep more (Bump), and has apologized and said lovely things.
Poor guy, though. We were so excited to see LO's reaction when he saw DH. LO was all, "Meh. I want Mom" both last night and this morning. It bummed DH out a bit, though I hear them giggling together downstairs, so hopefully that's passed.
Love my little family. I definitely feel closer to DH and more "complete" now that we have LO.