Low AMH Level

hopefuljj

I’ve been POAS every morning, and this mornings is much lighter than yesterday’s:(  It looks like this is going the way of a chemical:(

JamieH2000

@hopefuljj- nooooooo!!! It just can't be. I don't get it. I am so sorry. Sending all my positive vibes your way and thinking of you!!

Kp214

@hopefuljj oh no!!  I’m so sorry. Praying for you. 

emmasemm

@hopefuljj ahhhhh I’m really hoping this turns around for you. Take it easy and take care of yourself this weekend 

Well, finally on CD17 after 15 nights of stims I finally get to trigger tonight!!! ER is 10am Sunday.
My estrogen has hit 1200, two follicles were just over 21mm today, the others still at the same distance. 
I am soooo relieved- I’ve been feeling sick all afternoon in case they cancel or tell me to keep stimming. This morning I went for a walk down Oxford Steeet for some retail therapy to ease my nerves.
Because the morning was already too exciting even before I got to the clinic - the hotel fire alarm went off at 0730 so we all had to evacuate. I grabbed my handbag and my cetrotide! Then proceeded to sit on the pavement and do my injection whilst we were waiting to be let in. Yet another weird place to have done an injection on this journey!!! And then on the way to the clinic the underground train stopped in a tunnel for almost 30 minutes - a few people were starting to stress (despite the announcements) and it was very very warm.
One day all these adventures will make us laugh I hope when we look back on it.
DH arrives around 1am so no partying tonight and probably a leisurely late breakfast tomorrow. 

@jamieh2000 hope you’re also taking care of yourself and doing nothing this weekend

@kp214 have you got the go ahead to prep for your FET if your back is under control now?

@adc0417 hope you’re doing well too and managing better with the medication 

Kp214

@emmasemm wow!!! Good thinking to grab the cetrotide.  This has been a crazy cycle for you. However, yay!!!  You’re going to retrieval!  That’s great!  I’ve started PT for my back in addition to the decompression therapy, which I don’t think is helping much. I’m going to cut that back to twice a week and PT twice a week. I haven’t said anything to my RE about it or my recent diagnosis.  I figure it won’t affect anything as far as transfer and implantation. I go Monday for an u/s to see if everything still looks good. If so, I’ll get my FET medication schedule. Yay!  

hopefuljj

@emmasemm nice job grabbing that cetrotide and YAY for finally triggering!!!!  My goodness this has been one wild ride!  Let’s hope that means it’s going to be an excellent result this round!     @kp214 Yay for FET schedule!!  

AFM pregnancy tests are fading away into the past, I literally took 3 at once around 2pm to make sure this am’s wasn’t a fluke.   They are very light which I guess is good becaue that means it’s resolving itself....

I’m setting up my WTF appointment to figure out if I go back to retrieval or if I go for transfer with the last embryo.  I’ve been a hot mess all day but I need to just look to the future over here and deep moving forward.   Thanks for all the support ladies. 

Kp214

@hopefuljj I am so sorry. This is difficult and sh!tty. Take time to grieve or do whatever it is you need to do.  

adc0417

@hopefuljj oh goodness, so sorry about this.  It’s not easy and all of us on this board know this.  We think we’re finally there, and then hit another road block.  Take time to grieve.  We are all here for you.

@emmasemm nice!! Seems like the follies are growing the way they’re suppose to.  Good luck on Sunday!!

Hopeful_mom

@emmasemm so glad things are moving in the right direction best of luck for a great ER!

@hopefuljj ugh was really hoping thebtest would get darker, still hoping for the best!  Come on universe!!!! Thinking of u and still praying!! 

JamieH2000

@emmasemm- what a crazy busy week you have had!! Yay for triggering! Let's do this ER and get those eggies!! Hope you are having a nice saturday in London with your DH! Can't wait to hear your update tomorrow!

@hopefuljj- I'm so sorry girl, i am just devastated for you! I think its good to get the follow up scheduled and try to figure out next steps. That always helps me. Hoping you are hanging in there this weekend and taking it easy.

AFM- Yesterday I met with a NP at the new OB office I am going to for my intake appt since I am a new patient. They ended up doing an ultrasound, which I wasn't expecting, and didn't have DH with me. I was terrified. I am sad to say that the one baby with the slower HB no longer has a HB we were expecting this, but its still sad. The other baby grew and HB went from 115 to 133 in 3 days, so i was happy about that. My SCH is still very large, so overall I am just terrified something will happen to our one remaining baby. I go back to my RE on Tuesday. Its going to be a long few weeks until we hopefully make it through the first trimester.

Hopeful_mom

@JamieH2000 like you I have mixed feelings on your update.  I'm so sad and sorry that the HB is no longer there but glad that it's happening early on giving ur healthy baby a better chance to thrive!!!  It's because of what I went though that I say this as the body has a better fighting chance.  Hope that makes sense! So glad ur baby had a nice strong HB! When is ur next appt??  Sending u extra hugs and love!!!

emmasemm

akp214 good luck for the US tomorrow! 

@hopefuljj my heart breaks for you. You did everything right but this whole process is such a lottery. I hope they still do the BW (which I guess they will as they will need to monitor you back to zero) and you have your WTF asap 

@jamieh2000 oh.... I can imagine there was a moment of terror when she said she would do an US. But I guess also at least now you know. And like @hopeful_mom said if it happens the earlier the better to not affect the other twin. I can only imagine the feelings though, trying to be happy about the one but the heartbreak on the other hand. Keep resting up my friend so that SCH has the best chance to settle down.

AFM just back in recovery- a bit stressful this morning as my blood pressure on intake was 165/130!!! There were a few moments where they had to decide if they would sedate me or not. It’s always a bit higher than normal just prior to ER but that was extreme! 
In the end we went ahead and guys we have 5 eggs!!! So I really hope we have some nice mature healthy ones in there! 
DH is just giving his sample now - I’m keeping Fx that is ok after his surgery two weeks ago!!!

Kp214

@JamieH2000 I am so sorry. Grieve the loss of this one. I know you have mixed emotions, glad that the one is ok, sad at the loss of the other. Rest as much as you can. 

@emmasemm 5 is fantastic!!!  Yay!!  Can’t wait for your fertilization update. Do you plan to do another cycle?

hopefuljj

@jamieH2000  Oh my gosh lady, i am so sorry for the loss of the one baby  That is truly heartbreaking  I am so glad the other baby is doing well, i can imagine this is a time of many mixed emotions.  Thinking of you and praying everything goes smoothly from here on out.  I know that SCH must be terrifying to have to think about.
 Thank you for your kind and supportive words

@emmasemm OMG LADY!!! 5 eggs!! YAY!!!!!!  I'm so hopeful for you lady!! and thank you very much for your kind words.  pregnancy test is basically negative now so hopefully i'm close to 0 by the time i go in for BW tomorrow and can figure out what to do next  

@adc0417 thank you for your kind words lady.  It is nice to know I am amongst people who truly get it. 
Thank you @Hopeful_mom and @Kp214 I appreciate it.

I am wondering if i should just go for my last transfer now and see what happens since i took 1.5 yrs of IVF to get those 2 normies...and then back to the drawing board if it does not work, or if I should go back to egg collection and see if there is anything left to collect??? Is there something to be said for being more fertile post chemical??   I guess i will see what my doctor says Monday (if that doesn't get canceled, she may have to do ER's which would move that appointment)  I swear if she tells me to do 3 months of Lupro

Kp214

@hopefuljj I’m sorry. I know how much this hurts. As to your question post chemical, my experience is in my signature, but the short answer is no, it didn’t in my case. This whole journey has taught me to do what you can love with so you have little to no regrets. If you want to do another cycle, go for it. If you want to do a transfer, do it. The not knowing is so hard. Hang in there. 

adc0417

@JamieH2000 so sorry for this loss, but glad that the other one is doing well.  Realize this is a very stressful time for you.  Hopefully the SCH resolves soon, so you can relax a bit.

@emmasemm you go girl!! 5 is a great number!! Waiting for your next update.

@hopefuljj Hang in there!! You’ll figure out a plan in due time.  

Hopeful_mom

@emmasemm YES!! Awesome come on fertilization report!!! Let's do this!!

emmasemm

@kp214 yes we already have one more cycle booked. Then we will see what we do depending on number of embryos. At the moment I guess we might need to do another 3 rounds... 
We had an interesting conversation with the doctor and embryologist yesterday where we talked about how misleading “odds of success” can be. The embryologist is doing a PHD part time and is researching success rate statistics- she said although many DOR women (she was looking at AMH less than 1 and AFC less than 5) might be told that there is eg a 3% chance of success, that her preliminary findings are that 80% of those 3% actually do more than 5 retrievals... 

@hopefuljj sorry I don’t remember how old you are? And it’s not in your lovely siggy:-) If you’re early 30s or less you could maybe go ahead, if you’re nearer 40 then personally I would probably do another ER cycle, but of course it might not be only 1 you need... but it’s a lot of money, time and heartache all over again and maybe your other embryo is the one!
And in the end it’s probably not a logical choice but an emotional one you need to make...
Plus you could ask if you could do an ER and then transfer your frostie straight after the fresh cycle? So you avoid one whole FET cycle that way???

@adc0417 how are you doing for FET prep?

AFM - well out of the 5 only 3 were mature... and then just got the call that 2 fertilized normally and already started to divide. She said they look like they’re in a race! The other one didn’t fertilize properly - and of the immature ones one did not mature, the other did but then had already started to break up. 
Going to be nervous for Wednesday. Two good quality embryos to be frozen on day 3 would be awesome but I hardly dare hope for that... 

JamieH2000

Thank you ladies for all the kind words. Its definitely been hard, but just staying as positive as I can for our one baby now. Just praying this is the end of the bad news for me!!

@emmasemm- OMG 5 is great! I wish they were all mature, but it sounds like you have 2 great embabies!! So many prayers they are still going strong on day 3!! You deserve this so much You are going to do one more round for sure right?

@hopefuljj- I am hoping you can talk with your RE today and get their thoughts on next steps. There are no "right" next steps. I understand being torn between transferring again or going back to ERs. Hopefully your RE will have some insight on your odds of getting more normals. You have been on such a long hard road, and I just want you to have success SO bad. I wish I could do more to help. I am always here if you want to chat!

Kp214

@emmasemm 2 fertilizing and dividing is great!  Really hoping they are still being overachievers on Wednesday. 

@hopefuljj I hope you get some guidance on what to next today.

@JamieH2000 you have another u/s tomorrow, right?

afm, I have a schedule and am starting estrace today. 

capps42613

@hopefuljj ugh. I'm sorry, there are no words to make this any easier for you. I'm curious as to what your RE will suggest. Not trying to sway you one way or the other, of course, but if it were me I'd try to transfer the other embryo and see if it sticks to try and avoid another round of meds & retrieval. Unless you really want to collect more eggs for future siblings if the last one takes. If that's the case then you may want to do another cycle first, since our eggs clearly don't get any younger with time. Whatever you decide, you have my support, always!

@emmasemm I know you were hoping for more than 2 to fertilize. Hell, I was too. I had 4 follies, 6 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized, & 1 stuck. You could have your golden egg (or 2!) in this batch too. 

@JamieH2000 oh mama, I'm sorry to hear about baby B. I always try to find light in any sucky situation... as much as it sucks to lose one of them, if it was going to happen at least it happened early on instead of later. At least that is what I told myself to try to make the loss easier. I still wonder what life would be like had both of my embabies kept growing. The only reason we knew both implanted was bc there was a 2nd sac, but it was empty. Meaning our 2nd embryo arrested shortly after implantation. Regardless, I'm sorry you had to witness this loss. 

@Kp214 yay for a schedule! Let the fun begin.  I remember being ecstatic once I received a schedule. 

Imajin99

Hi everyone, I just returned back from my trip and it was exactly what we needed of fun and relaxation.  I have been catching up on the posts that I have missed today.

@emmasemm Wow, you are an absolutely amazing women, just reading about your last week and conquering any hurdle thrown your way is inspiring. I am happy that you were able to get to ER and had 5 eggs!  I am praying that the two eggs that have fertilized will be the lucky ones for you.

@hopefuljj I am sorry to hear about the fading line, did you have bw done today?  After my last cycle I booked an appt with the RE right away and found it reassuring to have another plan in place and hope you can do the same soon.

@Kp214 I am starting my estrace and provera on July 11, have been applying  the Androgel during my trip. Looks like our cycles will be close together.  Hoping both of us have a great cycle.

@JamieH2000 Sending you a virtual hug, sorry to hear about Baby B but glad the heartbeat of Baby A is so good.  I can't imagine the mix of emotions you are feeling right now, hope you pamper yourself as you deserve it.

adc0417

@emmasemm awesome girl!! I know you were hoping for more than 2 to fertilize, but you may have these 2 as your golden eggs  .  AFM I have my lining check on Wednesday, so let’s see.

hopefuljj

 @Emmasemm  somehow i am now 37...i don't know how this has happened, i think the panic of inferitlity makes every week you are not a mother feel like it is dragging but then you turn around and realize you are like 3 years older and you don't understand how you have wished away all this time...
I am crossing EVERYTHING for your 2 embabies!  Please please grow and divide and be strong embabies! Your momma has worked so hard and been such an inspiration with all she has gone through, i just know you will be strong like her!

@JamieH2000  I hope you are doing OK lady!  I am waiting on pins and needles form you for the next update, i want to hear that that baby is growing healthy and strong for momma!!!!    My WTF appointment got canceled I had a feeling it would because she said she might end up triggering people on Saturday, but no one contacted me unfortunately so i didn't find out until i was pulling into Grand Central on the train and so i had to go to work late for nothing cuz i would have just been able to get bloodworm done much earlier.    oh well.  Appointment will be next Monday.   I have to go back to see if beta is at 0 because now it is at 30, so we will just try again next week. 

@Capps42613, thank you lady Thank you @emmasemm and @kp213
you ladies are all so sweet to share your thoughts around what i should do.  It is so hard to decide sometimes! I just wish i had a crystal ball so i really appreciate hearing everyone perspective.
I have though a lot about it and although my instinct is to go back and bank because of my AFC and the clock ticking, but I think i need to just transfer this last embryo. It took a year and a half of banking to get to these 2 shots, i just need to transfer and then decide what to do if that does not work.  I've been trying to work donor egg back into the convo a little with DH....just to see if he has a reaction like the first time i tried to bring it up....so just taking things one day at a time here.  If i didn't have this BS empty follicle situation, i would possibly go for another IVF but i also feel like if I DO have endo, i should transfer while i have the Lupron shot behind me and have been suppressing it instead of getting it all angry again with Stims and then trying to transfer.  I always get lots of pain during sims, which is bananas cuz i will have like 2 follicles on one side and 3 on the other at the most, so it has to be endo...i mean right? i dunno.   i'm all rambly and confused but SO GLAD for no PIO tonight!  doing those shots when i knew there was no point was SO HARD!

adc0417

@hopefuljj I’m so sorry that you didn’t get to meet with your RE today.  When we are in this limbo, we crave to have answers right away.  There really is no right or wrong answer, it’s only what you can live with.  I dealt with the empty follicle syndrome too and also of course struggling with DE vs giving my resources another shot.  It’s not easy; hoping you get peace in your decision.  Enjoy this PIO free night 

Kp214

@Imajin99 yay!!  It’s nice to go through this with someon on a similar timeline. 

@hopefuljj I hate that you weren’t able to speak with your RE and that you didn’t get notice until the last minute.  It sounds like you have an idea on what you want to do.  I hope you are able to do another transfer if that’s what you decide. 

hopefuljj

Thank you @adc0417 I feel better today.  I’ve been dealing with a very dramatic if male coworker who has a newly pregnant wife and every time he tries to talk to me about it I feel the urge to tell him I can’t hear him because I’m waiting for my HCG levels to get back down to 0:-/. Thanks @Kp214 I really wish my clinic was better at canceling appointments before you are already there! Lol but it is what it is and Monday will be here soon enough hopefully. 

JamieH2000

@capps42613- thank you for the kind words!! I think i have been handling it ok because I still have the one baby going strong. We also have 8 more embryos, so hopefully there will still be a second baby someday! Twins would have been special, but I also would be even more stressed about the risks than i already am right now!

@lmajin99- glad you had a good trip and that you are getting started soon on another cycle! I really hope this is a great one for you!!

@hopefuljj- I'm so sorry your appt got cancelled at the last min! That is frustrating, but its nice they do try to squeeze you in when they can! You are handling this like a wonder woman! Its hard to know what one would do in your shoes since we aren't in them, but I think I would probably try  transferring the other one. Did you talk with your DH about DE at all? Obviously its a hard call, but its a great option to have a family and in the end thats what we are all trying to do. Always here if you want to talk about that option! Thinking of you and sending love!!

@kp214- yay for getting started!! Sending lots of good vibes for a great lining! When do you go back in?!

AFM- We saw a strong HB of 155 on our baby yesterday! I get SUCH anxiety during the U/S i can barely look at the screen. I was feeling pretty good until last night when i had some odd cramping. No bleeding or anything, but there is always something! Now I am just anxiously waiting until TUesday when we can check on the baby again. That will be my last RE appt (hopefully!). and then I see the OB the following week. 

adc0417

My lining is 8.2 today and so I will be starting the PIO shots on Friday.  

How are you doing @emmasemm did you get your 3 day fertilization report?

capps42613

@JamieH2000 I'm glad to see you're coping well. Thats the one b*#%+ after having a successful IVF... even after the embryo sticks, it's like you're still waiting for SOMETHING to go wrong with each appt. Totally normal but try to relax & enjoy the ride. 

Kp214

@JamieH2000 the anxiety is understandable. Don’t beat yourself up over it. After everything youve been through, it’s normal. My anxiety tainted the whole pregnancy. I hope it’s not the same for you. 

@adc0417 yay!  That’s a great lining thickness! When do you transfer? How many will you transfer?

@emmasemm hope you had a good day 3 report. 

JamieH2000

@adc0417- yay for starting PIO! You are soo close now to transfer!! remind me, are you doing one or two?!

@emmasemm- anxiously awaiting your day 3 report! Hoping its great!

@kp214 and @capps42613- thanks ladies! so glad we all have each other or we would all feel crazy going through this process! I just keep telling myself it will all be worth it

emmasemm

@jamieh2000 wow 155! And you graduate already on Tuesday??? 

@adc0417 good luck with the PIO tomorrow - you’ve moved so far forward in the last few months!

@hopefuljj Do you know when your appointment will be yet?

@imajin99 glad you had a great trip

@kp214 how is the estrace going?

@kp214 @adc0417 @jamieh2000 @hopefuljj @capps42613
thanks so much for all the thoughts and checking up on me!

So... we have another two embryos frozen! They are not good quality, but they are frozen all the same.
One 4 cell and one 7 cell.
I had a long talk with the embryologist as embryo quality has been significantly lower at this clinic so far. We talked about the dosage of stims and how it’s potentially affecting egg quality, also the DHEA (which they’ve now told me to stop) and ICSI. So next time we might go back to natural fertilization. But they will do a complete case review on Friday and we should get the new plan next week.
So not sure if we will baseline to see if we go again back to back or if we skip a cycle. Let’s see!

Hopeful_mom

@jaimeh2000 of course it's all worth it! Just frustrating it can never be smooth sailing for all of us!!  Hoping it will be for u here on out!! How is the sch?

@emmasemm yay for getting something to freeze!! I have friends with low quality that has a 3yr old girl from that AND some of my normies weren't the best grade.  I had perfect looking ones that came back abnormal so u really never know... I'm super hopeful for u

Hopeful_mom

@hopefuljj thinking of u sending big hugs!!

adc0417

@Kp214 @JamieH2000 @emmasemm Thank you for your support.  Transfer date is 7/18, keeping FX everything goes well.  Very nervous, but I'm y'all can definitely understand.  We are not completely sure how many to transfer, but thinking of 2.  Both have its pros and cons.  We also have to see how many embabies we'll form.  They will be thawing the eggs tomorrow and fertilizing them, which is why I'm very nervous and anxious.

@emmasemm So happy that now you have 2 more embryos.  How many more cycles do you plan to do?

hopefuljj

@jamieH2000 HB of 155!!!! omg:)  wonderful!    I can only imagine you must have so so  much constant anxiety.   I hope you are able to have moments that are anxiety free!  I hope Tuesday gets here fast so you can see baby again!!!    I have not yet brought donor egg back up, i'm worried about his response so waiting a little bit until i'm in a better place to have the convo.  My older sister is demanding she get checked to see if she can be a donor.  She is literally the greatest sister on the planet.  She wants to start trying for her second kid but wants to see if this is an option first.  Have not yet told DH about that either....gonna wait and see what my RE says and likely try to get to another FET with my last embaby before being able to have that convo.

@adc0417 that lining sounds greeeeaat!!!

@Emmasemm  YES!!!!!!!  2 more embabies! I love it:) I try to ignore quality too cuz i always hear about people having luck with not great embryos and i too had all my perfect AA embryos come back abnormal. That is interesting about the natural fertilization over ICSI to improve quality...is it because the ICSI can injure the egg?

@Hopeful_mom  Thank you lady  I hope you are doing well!!!!!  And getting sleep!!

AFM appointment will be Monday at 2:30.  I'll go in for another Beta to see if we are back down to 0 that morning because this Monday it was at 30.  Just want to get this party started again, lol. I don't like having to stand still.

Kp214

@adc0417 not too much longer until PUPO!  I hope you have a great report today. Looking forward to hearing your update!

@emmasemm that’s great to have boy to freeze!!!  Yay!  Grading is subjective, and like the others have said, a lower graded embryo can still result in a healthy baby. We did PGS testing and some of our better graded embryos were abnormal while some of the lower graded embryos are normal. try not to be discouraged. 

@hopefuljj Monday will be here soon. I hope you’re at 0 so you can start. Having a plan is nice and helps the waiting. 

Afm, still taking estrace. I feel moodier than I did before but that could be from other things. I go for a lining check on 7/18. 

Imajin99

@emmasemm Great news on freezing the two embroys!  Will another cycle be your last cycle before you start transfers?  I have opted for fresh transfer but that is also because I am new to this and not sure what the best thing would be at this time.  I guess if this cycle goes well we can talk to the RE about having back to back cycles to have some frozen but who knows if I will make it to ER or not like last time.

@hopefuljj Hope Monday gives you a nice 0 and you can get started.  Did you decide on whether you will transfer the frozen or complete another cycle?

@adc0417 Good luck next week! Hope the transfer goes well.

@Kp214 Are you also taking Provera? For my priming they have me doing the Androgel, estrace and provera. 

AFM

Just waiting to start my cycle, the clinic my period could be delayed because of the estrace and provera and that did happen during the last cycle as well.  I just want to get started!  They sent over the new protocol and this time I will be starting with Lupron and they will add in Saizen (GH) while I am taking the stimulating injections.  Hoping this protocol gives me better results.  They also advised I may be stimulating longer so I don't think ER will happen until August.

JamieH2000

@emmasemm- Yes I graduate on Tuesday at 8+6. I'm nervous to not have the weekly ultraosounds! Though I know some REs don't even do that, so I am very lucky how much OB care I get thru my RE. I am SO happy you have another two to freeze! I wouldn't worry about the day 3 quality (i know- easier said than done). I will say that i had great day 3, but most wouldn't make it to day 5, so I think if they are gonna make it, they will regardless of how they look on day 3. How many day 3 would your RE transfer? I am assuming like 3-4 given your age and history?

@hopeful_mom- thanks! SCH is still there, but looks to be clotting up! Just hoping it gets smaller soon.

@adc0417- aww only a few more days!! I think that makes sense to see how many you get and then decide! Definitely pros and cons of two. I think you just trust your gut on that.. my gut said two and now I'm glad i did it obviously since one didn't make it.

@hopefuljj- omg wow, your sister sounds great! SO kind of her! I am not sure your clinic would approve her given her age, but maybe she has a ton of reserve and could get a decent amount of normals. I think you will know when the time is right to discuss it. Obviously its a decision you make as a couple, but my opinion is the person giving up the genes should get the final call since its truly a one sided loss in a way. PRaying its back to 0 on Monday and you have a great chat with your RE!

@kp214- wow, you are gonna be transferring before you know it! How is your back doing?

@lmajin99- waiting for AF is the worst. Hoping she comes soon so you can get going! I always find stimming exiting Hopefully the HGH will be the magic ticket this time!