All Work and No Spam Makes Jack a Dull Boy

needanustart

ASmallWonder said:

FOUR IS NOT BETTER.

I'm plugging my ears and singing lalalala. I honestly can't even imagine G being more difficult. Shudders.

ASmallWonder

Pardon my intensity lol  It's better in some ways like, I trust that he won't run into traffic now and when the fancy strikes him, he's able to do more in the house and for his brother.  Unfortunately, that fancy rarely strikes him.  He's a sweet boy but he's also whiny, argumentative and manipulative.  I think that's the definition of age 4 though.  I still can't figure out how he consumes enough calories to survive but I should be skinny with the amount I probably burn getting ripping mad at him over it lol

itsStackie

@subliminalrabbit‌ hope you all have a good night! Hope it's nothing more than over eating.

lioness13

Watching the wedding on 19kids... Such a cute family. Crying now...

lioness13

steamboat123 said:

Everyday DD screams the whole way home after daycare. Thankfully it is only 15 minutes, but man are they a long 15.

Have you tried snacks? I bribe my kid with goldfish. I don't care if she eats 100. And our drive is only 8 minutes. Sadly I have created a monster and she says "I want snack" every time we get in the car. Don't care. I need my sanity.

needanustart

lioness13 said:

Watching the wedding on 19kids... Such a cute family. Crying now...

I'm watching too but Jim Bob just creeps me out. I find him so fake, like a bad politician. Also the fact that he just asked if they had a chaperone when they said they were going to call his mom I was like "wtf?!" Because when your future son in law says on his wedding day that he is going to the chapel to pray and call his mother who is critically Ill and undergoing chemo the first thing you should think about is "are they going to make out right now?"

itsStackie

Hugs @violet1183‌.

lioness13

@violet1183‌ - Sorry I wasn't there for you last week. I feel you. I got 10 minutes with KJ today. I normally pick her up but couldn't because of a late meeting. I had to participate in a meeting convincing a single mom to 3 (who was crying) that working until 9pm is a good idea for her career. I felt like a traitor and hated myself afterward.

needanustart

@violet1183 there really is no winning. I would love to stay home full time with my sweet little Lo, but G is such a handful these days that I almost want to go back full time! I really feel like no set up as a parent is "perfect" and not having a clear black and white answer is what makes it so hard.
And sorry you didn't get responses before- I for one have been spotty on here lately so I miss lots.

daffy2k

@violet1183‌ I am so sorry you are struggling! That is such a huge part of why I am so hesitant to go back to work, even though part of me really wants to get back at it. DH has been working absolutely insane hours since July and finally just slowed down this last week when he moved back to his old company. He was able to participate in our bedtime routine for the first time in I don't even know how long and it just hit him how badly he had missed her. They sat on the floor in her room hugging and he was almost in tears. I really hope you are able to find a way to get the time you need with J. Balancing work and home is really tough. don't have any real suggestions for you, just lots of hugs!!

momofcatan

@violet1183 Hugs. I'm sorry you are having a tough time. If you ever want to vent, ask for advice, or a second perspective we are here.

musicalsilver

@violet1183‌ - the working mom gig is rough. In between jobs right now and really conflicted about what I want to do next for a lot of the reasons mentioned.

And for a complete change of subject - I think my first PP period started. DH is thrilled. I'm excited in a weird way to use my cup again but otherwise very unexcited to be joining this party again.

Eta: and I just realized that despite knowing we're not quite ready for another baby, I'm rather sad to have missed an opportunity.

numbersgirl08

@violet1183‌ I totally get you. I was so excited, thinking is figured out a way to "have it all" by getting work to let me work 10 hr days Mon-Thurs and take Fri off. But then my mentor told me the other sr partners didn't love it and I could only do that until I moved back.

I told him that I don't know if that would work. I don't know if a regular schedule will work with how busy my husbands job will be.

Now I don't know what to do. MH keeps telling me I'll just convince them that this works and then it will work out. But I just think my career is going to be stalled as long as I don't conform to their expectation of a normal employee. Every single partner (except one) is male with a stay at home wife. They have no clue.

So anyways. Career vs kid issues are so hard. I knew it would be hard but I guess I thought somehow Id figure out how to do it all.

dmlk413

So many hugs @violet1183‌ . Being a working mom sucks.

dmlk413

I spent the whole evening getting puked on by DD. For a while she was in pod spirits but by the time she crashed, she was so miserable. It broke my heart.

To add insult to injury, I went into my work email to let my boss know that I'll be out tomorrow and there is a horrible, life ruining shit storm of an email in there. Knowing that I won't be at work to come up with a game plan is giving me major freak out anxiety. Work has been hell lately and this could be the straw that breaks me.

WasNotWas

@violet1183‌ being a mom is hard. Every decision is loaded and it never feels like I make the right one. I know your family knows they are loved and, ultimately, that's all that matters. Big hugs

WasNotWas

@dmlk413‌ throw uppy babies are so sad. Hoping it passes quickly!

megaroo64

@violet1183‌ - lots of hugs. Being a working mom is really taxing.

@andreamarie77‌ - thoughts and prayers for a smooth surgery for your mom- hope the time can pass quickly for you as well.

@dmlk413‌ - hope your LO feels better soon. Sick babies are no fun at all.

I wish men could breast feed too. My H had N for all of two seconds because she would not go down after her MOTN feeding and then passed her back to me because he is convinced she is still hungry. She is eating a little more, but I need some sleep!! Oh and another thing, H, when I pass her over to you because she won't go to sleep- leave the room with her!! I'm giving her to you so I can go to sleep and you "quietly" consoling her two feet away from me is not really aiding to that cause. Yeah- tomorrow is going to be a shit show seeing that it is 5 am and I have only slept for 2 hours.

lioness13

Today is my DH's bday and he's being a big asshole. It started out well then KJ peed on him. He normally does mornings so I helped by taking over so he could change. Then he was rushing me and tore her away when I was trying to brush her teeth. He has no real schedule so there is no reason to rush. It really pissed me off but I didn't say anything because it's his birthday. But I kind of don't want to speak to him for the rest of the day.

momofcatan

@nubmersgirl08 & @violet1183 I want to add that nothing is written in stone. Keep an eye out for alternatives and opportunities, its never too late to make a switch if that's what you decide to do. Also look ahead. Our kids are not going to be going to bed at 7:00 forever. You may feel like you are missing a lot now, but maybe in the grand scheme its only a short period and soon there will be more opportunity for quality family time. Do you have PTO that you could use to just a take a day or two for family time every once in a while? Maybe plan a stay-cation?

cynthia2007

@violet1183, being a working mom is hard! There are never enough hours in the day. I used to work easily 60+ hrs a week but when A came, it all changed. I had to have a "come to Jesus" with my boss to discuss that I just couldn't put in all those hrs and all the domestic and overseas trips like I did before. He's a male so hard for him to understand but I think he got the point that I would work my hardest working 40-45 hrs and do great work vs working those extended hrs making me resent my job and be counter productive.I don't get everything I need to get done at work but there is always tomorrow. And my house is not as clean and tidy as before but oh well. And we did move to be closer to both our jobs because for awhile it was 3hrs everyday in the car to and from work and I was miserable so it is something to consider. And if your H is home and you are in car/subway etc traveling, skype or facetime to see LO. I do that if I have a late mtg.

I hope you are able to find some time to have wuth your LO. Hugs

itsStackie

So topic of discussion at work.

Pole dancing... would you post a video of you pole dancing on facebook?  (a coworker did.) 

:-O

dmlk413

@subliminalrabbit‌ is your H on meds for his depression? I worry about the way he treats you.

daffy2k

@subliminalrabbit I would probably reach through the phone and punch your H. I know he's in pain and feeling defeated, but that is no reason to treat the one person holding both your lives together while he gets treated the way he is. Good for you for getting the dog to do her business outside. Treat training always works the best for us. It will be such a relief for you to not have to worry about walking her down the block everytime she needs to go now. As far as all the other stuff goes, well I think you already handled it all quite well with him. Just know you've got support here if you need advice or to vent. Big hugs!!

lioness13

itsStackie said:

So topic of discussion at work.

Pole dancing... would you post a video of you pole dancing on facebook?  (a coworker did.) 

:-O

Yes. If I was good at it and fully clothed. But I also wouldn't be friends with coworkers on FB.

PS - I'm not on FB at all.

WasNotWas

Step one of my captain America costume completed

itsStackie

Oh yeah.  We watched the video it is titled as a debut performance, she is not fully clothed (belly dancer type outfit), and there is an audience watching her.    @-)

itsStackie

@coffeeismylyfe is it Publix?  You should go!

momofcatan

What is the appropriate thing to do these days when someone asks you about salary expectations at an interview? I was always taught to not give a number. FWIW the job title is "account director" at an ad agency.

musicalsilver

@42Butterflies - me too!!  Mostly flute though.  :-)

GraceInCA

kari5186 said:

@musicalsilver I'm so glad you liked it!  Are you caught up this season?  Try Mr. Selfridge on PBS as well (might have to watch via Amazon Prime or Netflix if its there) and you HAVE to watch Downton Abbey and the Colin Firth Pride and Prejudice or we can't be friends

Have you watched Parade's End?

daffy2k

@mcbush‌ not exactly, but muscle is more dense than fat, so if you have a pound of fat and a pound of muscle the pound of muscle will occupy less volume than the fat. So I think what he's probably trying to say is that if you burn off 2 lbs of fat, but replace that empty space with muscle, it will weigh more than the fat did. Make sense?

WasNotWas

This made me laugh way too hard

itsStackie

I may have done some facebook stalking today.

momofcatan

Thanks @meloHdy and @steamboat123. I've been asked about salary at almost every interview. I think if it comes up in this interview I might go with "I'm hesitant to give a number without knowing more about the company. I've been very happy with my starting salary in the past, to then find out that the company never gives raises to anyone." The truth is I know exactly how much I would need to be offered to consider leaving my current job so maybe I should just be honest and give a range if asked.

momofcatan

steamboat123 said:

If you know how much you need to leave I would be honest. If they can't meet that number why waste anyone's time? DH does that when he gets contacted on LinkedIn- it isn't worth his time unless they can meet x vacation and y salary.

I worry about low balling myself. But honestly if being "cheap" gets me the job then I should consider that an advantage because I'll need a leg up over anyone with actual agency experience. Thanks for the feedback, it really helps.

GraceInCA

kari5186 said:

kari5186 said:

@musicalsilver I'm so glad you liked it!  Are you caught up this season?  Try Mr. Selfridge on PBS as well (might have to watch via Amazon Prime or Netflix if its there) and you HAVE to watch Downton Abbey and the Colin Firth Pride and Prejudice or we can't be friends

Have you watched Parade's End?

I haven't yet! I'm going to start it soon. Is Benny delicious in it???

Yes!!

GraceInCA

@subliminalrabbit, I hope that E kicks these sickies very quickly, and that things in general settle down for you.

GraceInCA

momofcatan said:

steamboat123 said:

If you know how much you need to leave I would be honest. If they can't meet that number why waste anyone's time? DH does that when he gets contacted on LinkedIn- it isn't worth his time unless they can meet x vacation and y salary.

I worry about low balling myself. But honestly if being "cheap" gets me the job then I should consider that an advantage because I'll need a leg up over anyone with actual agency experience. Thanks for the feedback, it really helps.

Ask HIGH. There is no downside to that. Ask for more than you need, and let them know the number is negotiable once you see the entire salary and benefits package. If they are truly interested, they'll come back and counter with something in the range of what they intended to offer in the first place.  This is also a good way to keep from getting lowballed.

daffy2k

I agree with @GraceInCA‌ , but try not to go too high. As someone who has interviewed people who think they are worth far more than they are, try to stay within the realm of normal (so do your research on the position). When i had people come in and tell me they deserved double what I would have even considered paying them (and my wages were consistently on par with the industry for our area) it really turned me off and didn't give the impression that they would be willing to do what was required if they were so poorly compensated.