Longest Thread EVER! (aka Random Thoughts Thread )

Teresa1896

Hey Canadians: my dad will be retiring inMarch and will be taking a railroad trip across Canada (Toronto to BC). Has anyone done this, and are there any guidebooks that correspond with that route?

Jessimax

Teresa1896 said:

Hey Canadians: my dad will be retiring inMarch and will be taking a railroad trip across Canada (Toronto to BC). Has anyone done this, and are there any guidebooks that correspond with that route?

I've always wanted to do the Rocky Mountaineer one. 16 days, gourmet meals and such but it's around 5000$ a person. I could go to Europe for that. One day when I strike it rich.

deidremaria

aronie82 said:

We just fought over talking about getting counseling. It's annoying that we can't talk to each other without bickering lately. Really annoying that I can't offer constructive criticism without him acting Like I stabbed him in the heart. And I can no longer suggest that he's being a little sensitive because he's a man and men are tough fucking dudes with balls and hair and testosterone argh argh argh.

(((Hugs)))

hlm184

It just occurred to me, and I don't know why it took so long, but now that DS is back on a one-poo-a-day schedule, and his big poops always come as soon as he wakes up, that if I switch to sposies overnight I don't have to deal with cleaning that awful diaper every morning.

WIN!

snowbound

Is it me or is my avatar different? I let DS chew on my phone and I think he managed to change it. Strange. I wonder what else he did

juniper75

Been behind on RTT for days - finally catching up!

@ambarnett1 - yay for another baby boy! Love the announcement

@MrsW26 - Congrats!! So exciting

Hugs and TP's to those that going through a rough time or worried about people they love.

@aronie82 - thinking of you. DH and I can't seem to communicate well these days either. I try really hard to find ways to change the way I express myself to get through to him but I often wind up feeling like he doesn't really get it. I have suggested counselling many times but he isn't interested. I think he thinks I am just hormonal and everything will be fine if he just rides it out. He's a good guy and a good dad but as a husband I feel like he has let me down and I worry that we are never going to get back to where we used to be and that I won't be able to get past the resentment when its all said and done. At least you both recognize that there are things you need to work on and as a minimum counselling should give you a safe place to share what you feel. In the interim I hope it doesn

ETA: just realized my last sentences never made it...lol. It was supposed to say, In the interim I hope it doesn't overshadow everything else and that you are able to enjoy the holidays. Maybe sharing LO's first holiday will bring you closer together.

lokimau

Just a vent (sorta)
DH's dad has been in the hospital for 6 weeks now. He went in for a bowel obstruction. Had surgery. And because he is a stubborn ass, he kept ripping the feeding tubes and ivs out. Well he got an infection from it a few weeks ago that almost destroyed his lungs. He has been on a ventilator do the past two weeks. He is not there mentally anymore. Not sure of it is the infection or what. Tomorrow, DH and his mom have to decide what to do since medicate won't pay for him to just sit in a hospital.

They either have to perform tracheotomy and then he will be moved to a nursing home or they take him off the ventilator and see what happens. The doctors are 99% sure he will die. The family has has chosen to take him off the ventilator because they feel he would hate to be kept alive in a nursing home.

So on top of that stressful situation, we have found out in the past few weeks that DH's dad was hiding from everyone that DH's mom has Alzheimer's. He has been hiding it for years. She can't function on a day to day basis by herself and no one hD any clue because he is the in charge of everything asshole.

So we are trying to figure out what to do with his mother if his dad passes. And they have no will. Nothing arranged for them. They are not young. (76) so we are trying to do all of this. It sucks and is putting a lot of stress on DH. We are fighting constantly. He told me yesterday if I don't want to help then to just leave. All because I told him that while he does need to make sure his mother has a home, he needs to remembe that we are going to have to move now too. Since we currently live with them so I would have to work. If we have to get a place, we need to figure out a lot of things and it just sucks.
And DDs first Christmas is going to be non existent. No tree no anything. And it sucks.

Sorry for the wall of text

lokimau

It is definitely hard. we moved from Atlanta to Sarasota to stay with his parents so I would not have to work until DD got a little older. Now that plan is out the window. We are essentially stuck in a city with no family and no where to go. We are not going to try to keep the house. It is too expensive and if we need to get his mother care, there just isnt enough money. I wish I knew what to do. My mom  lives 2 hours away. The rest of my family is back in Atlanta and cant really help. I just feel trapped and helpless

Tferr02

I'm so sorry @lokimau‌ that you are dealing with all of this right now. My family has had a lot of alheizmers in it, and unfortunately every spouse tried to hide it. They feel that they are saving their loved ones's dignity by Keeping it hidden. Bothh of my grandparents had it in Venice, my great uncle had it in Sarasota and my mom's best friends brother has it in North port, so if you need any resources to help your DH deal with it, then please let me know and I'll see what info my mom has on local resources.

RedDawnsRevenge

@lokimau‌ here in Ca family members can be paid by the state to provide in home care, such as to a family member with dementia. It's complicated, but worth it. It may allow you to SAH and keep mom out of a home. The first step would be to see her PCP for a referral to geriatric specialist. Their case workers should be able to point you in the right direction from there for what you need to do in Ga. They will also be able to help you get a power of attorney so you and YH can make legal/financial decisions for mom.

hlm184

Hugs for @lokimau and anyone else who needs them.  Alzheimers is incredibly difficult to deal with in and of itself, let alone on top of everything else.  

juniper75

@lokimau. I am so sorry. That's an overwhelming load to deal with. Give your DH a little time to come around. It's got to be horrible essentially losing both your parents at once. Your LO's holiday will be special because you are there. It sounds corny I know - but at the end of the day the love is all that's important and especially at this age that's all LO is going to take away from it anyways.

speechie517

@lokimau I can understand how overwhelmed you are. I was in a very similar position two years ago. The ladies have had some very good advice. I'd also recommend getting in touch with an elder care attorney.

As for Christmas,it doesn't need to be over the top for LO. Do holiday things outside the home, like going to see lights! You are there with him,which is the most important part. 

edoliesmom

@Lokimau That's so stressful. What a difficult situation! Not sure when you'll be having to move, but maybe you can get a little tiny Christmas tree, that way it's a little something special? Getting a 1' tree seems like a stress-free, low maintenance option, and then you can keep it to put in Aryssa's room for the years to come as a special memory!

@aronie82 Just looking at your ticker... I can't believe you have an almost 9 month old, and Edolie isn't even 8 months old yet! @-)

hordol

@lokimau‌ I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. Such a stressful situation.

Tferr02

@lokimau‌ it's in Venice, but my dad's boss has a huge house on Venice Ave on the island and he does a big christmas display every year. He has an amazing Santa Claus there to take pics with kids, a lot of times they have a pro photographer doing free pics. It starts this weekend and is every night until eve of Christmas eve (he's obviously busy on Christmas eve). Just a free Christmas idea for you to do with your little one. Also in Venice area, there is a house in Mission Valley (a neighborhood ) that does a MASSIVE christmas light display. You get out of your car and walk all through it. It's pretty amazing. I can get you the address for that too if you want. I've realized with Ds1, it's the fun memories like those that I really love looking back at.

JessieAlbin

@MrsStanton87‌ shooting pain when caring for your baby is no fun. I am really hoping that there is a period soon where playing with/reigning in/caring for our little guys isn't so rough on our bodies! Dick move, Mother Nature, designing a system in which our bodies, hormones, joints and muscles go through the wringer just before we need to be able to lift a growing squiggly wiggly baby all. Day. Long.

My pre-pregnancy body was way more equipped to do this stuff.. Can I have it back?

deidremaria

@JessieAlbin‌ check your inbox

deidremaria

@lokimau‌ I wish there was something more supportive I could offer you than a hug.

Shelbysteffens

@lokimau‌ I'm sure his frustration and snappiness is based off of sadness and grief. Though he does need to see the bigger picture, that there will be long lasting effects on your family because of the medical issues that were hidden. Alzheimer's is sure a rough condition, but there is lots of local resources that help family's and help you with your options.

Christmas is no way about gifts, or the tree, the memory is the 3 of you together surrounded with love, and maybe some cookies.

Hugs to you, and your family, I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

cnbean

@lokimau That is a lot to deal with! Hopefully you guys will get a handle on it and still be able to enjoy the holidays. I'm sorry you are having to go through this all at once.

deidremaria

FFTC: Dylan is playing with my bra and I'm not stoping him

michaelad3

@lokimau‌ many people have already offered advice and support, but I'm a social worker with aging service for my state and work with community based care. A lot of my clients have Alzheimer's/dementia, and there is likely a state run home based care Medicaid program for Florida if you are interested in helping her to remain at home. Also, you can find great support through the Alzheimer's Association, so it would be a good idea to see if they have a local branch. It's such a tough situation. Try to be patient with your husband, and like others said, Christmas is special because of family and memories. The rest is just extra! Hugs to you!!

lokimau

Tferr02 said:

I'm so sorry @lokimau‌ that you are dealing with all of this right now. My family has had a lot of alheizmers in it, and unfortunately every spouse tried to hide it. They feel that they are saving their loved ones's dignity by Keeping it hidden. Bothh of my grandparents had it in Venice, my great uncle had it in Sarasota and my mom's best friends brother has it in North port, so if you need any resources to help your DH deal with it, then please let me know and I'll see what info my mom has on local resources.

Some resources would be great. Thank you so much

lokimau

Thank you ladies for all the hugs and support. We did get Santa pictures today. I will post some later

Shelbysteffens

I'm really ready for 2014 to be over. I have to take my sweet nina to the vet on Friday to have her eyes looked at again. It seems like her condition has flared up again and needs medication once again. I've cried all afternoon because it's worse, and she's older I feel like we are close to the point of having the quality of life conversation. On top of it, the tumor on her stomach has grown, which means we will have to do bloodwork. She's my baby and I'm not ready for any of this. Why can't dogs just live forever?

I need a drink.

Jessimax

Time for cookies and the Victoria secret fashion show.

deidremaria

Shelbysteffens said:

I'm really ready for 2014 to be over. I have to take my sweet nina to the vet on Friday to have her eyes looked at again. It seems like her condition has flared up again and needs medication once again. I've cried all afternoon because it's worse, and she's older I feel like we are close to the point of having the quality of life conversation. On top of it, the tumor on her stomach has grown, which means we will have to do bloodwork. She's my baby and I'm not ready for any of this. Why can't dogs just live forever?

I need a drink.

I'm sorry about this

deidremaria

FFTC: I don't have any snacks in my house and by snacks I mean sweets. Instead of baking something which I could have done because I always having baking stuff I put peanut but and white chocolate chips in some wheat bread and I'm currently enjoying it with a glass of milk.

nicole mackenzie

Wow sounds like everyone is having a rough time

I think I want to bring my DH to counceling with me too. I think it would help us communicate better. I feel like anytime we try do do something special together it's forced... And the holidays are so stressful I'm stressed about my family dynamic issues which makes DH talk shit about my family and get almost as anxious about the whole thing as I do... Then afterwards we argue about nothing for a couple days I'm not looking forward to Christmas

I think maybe I'm gearing up to start ovulating again? Or maybe the full moon? I feel so anxious and depressed this week...

And DH is acting distant and sullen tonight like he's mad or upset but won't say about what?!? He spent a full day at home alone with the LO today...

I think maybe he understands a little better how on my day "off" it's not really restful or easy to clean or cook and yeah you want to hand LO to the person coming home from work even though they had a long day.

emilyann64

Wow, big hugs @lokimau‌. I'm sorry you have so much to deal with right now. I hope you find something festive to do with your LO to cheer you up.

edoliesmom

3crazykitties said:

Anyone else notice the troll face emoji?

This is amazing!

Edited: I don't see any of the new faces on the web browser. Are they on the app??

Teresa1896

!!!!!!

emilyann64

@3crazykitties‌ we donated a skateboard to a little boy last year and they are hard to wrap!! I bet he'll know exactly what it is and won't even care about the paper. How sweet of you to do that for him.

hlm184

Go away, insomnia!

Shelbysteffens

I got off work, and snuggled my pup. The eye drops we have on hand seem to have helped a bit, but an online article suggests we get puppy snugglasses. Nina is about to be a badass dog.

Shelbysteffens

I guess being wide awake at 4 am is cool too body, cause ya know it's not like I have to be up soon or anything (:|

Shelbysteffens

lia619 said:

Shelbysteffens said:

I guess being wide awake at 4 am is cool too body, cause ya know it's not like I have to be up soon or anything (:|

Right there with you!

DH got a phone call at 4:45. If it's not the alarm, it's a phone call. Both have the same loud and obnoxious noise. Boooo!

I woke up because there were too many blankets, I laid in bed for an hour and then finally gave up. Now I'm pumping, watching hallmark and contemplating if I should drink coffee or if I could possibly make it back to bed by 6

hlm184

So last night the dog decided she wanted to sleep in her crate instead of the bed at 3 in the morning.  I took her out, locked her in, and went back to bed.

When I got up this morning, I fed the cat like I always do... but he didn't come running.  Odd.  I took care of DS and finally made it out to the living room... only to find that he'd been sleeping in the dog's crate last night and had gotten locked in with her!  ooop!

This has happened once before but the cat and dog both started yowling so we could fix it.  Apparently they just snuggled last night!

Shelbysteffens

Oh look DS is up too! Yaaaay!