UO...

TheSloppySwish

My UO is that I really hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in cheerleading, dance teams or anything similiar. I think those activites are a waste of time that perpetuate poor ideals to young girls.

northport6

1. I'm a mostly-agnostic liberal Jew.  But within my peer group, I'm considered religious -- I go to Sabbath services every week, am super involved with the Sisterhood, attend adult education one night a week and see a tutor to learn Hebrew.  I'm not religious because I know everything there is to know about G-d; I'm religious because G-d is unknowable and I kinda feel like it's not a thing you can learn once and then be done with. The thing I like about Judaism is that it's about reminding you how to behave in everyday life (charitably, fairly, with an eye toward social justice for everyone).  And also, we don't think only Jews get a good spot in the afterlife.  It's specifically stated in the Talmud that if you live an ethical life that seeks to do well by others no matter what your religious stripe, you're pretty much in.

2. I'm cool with Christians.  I'm not cool with Christians who think the Jews killed Christ and are still holding a grudge about it.  If you're not Jewish and you're a sensible person, you've probably not been subjected to the anger this particular viewpoint brings forth in some denominations.  It's a big cause of antisemitism.  It was 2,000 years ago and apparently G-d preordained it so, you know, get over it.  

3. I didn't see the Passion of the Christ.  But I watched a documentary that excerpted five minutes of it and then I had nightmares for a week.  The fetishization of violence for any reason makes no sense to me.  I don't understand the appeal of zombie movies, horror movies, dramas where lots of people get shot and die (I got through TEN MINUTES of The Departed, which DH thought I would love for the acting), gangster films, ultimate fighting, boxing, The Sopranos, shows which depict graphic rape or war in any way.  There's a lot of ugliness on the news; I don't need the fictionalized or staged versions of it on top of all that.  My one exception to all of that are the films of the Coen Brothers. The Big Lebowski is my favorite movie.

4. The only reason Pitch Perfect matters at all to me is because of the excellent gifs that came out of it.

5. On Wednesdays, I don't wear pink.  I hate the color pink.  My mom never put me in pink as a little girl and if this baby turns out to be a girl, I'm not dressing her in pink.

6. My husband is a little sick today, or something.  He has a doctor's appointment at 1:45.  I have no sympathy for whatever's wrong with him because he kept me up half the night with his tossing and turning.  I feel sorta (but only sorta) bad about this.

Lawren

zou bisou said:

Hey it's the religion debate!  I'll come out too.  I'm a Bible believing Christian.  That's definitely a UO to my agnostic family.  But God changed the life that I always saw as good, or certainly good enough by most standards, to become a meaningful walk with him.  I'm a changed person.  I don't understand or even like some things in the Bible.  But when I come those stumbling points for me, I remember the example of Jesus and the woman at the well caught in adultery.  He protected her, loved her, and told her to stop sinning.  That gives me comfort when I'm not comfortable with all the things biblically called out as sin.  The clearest picture of God's love, Jesus, reacted with compassion, protection, and gentle re-direction.  I love that picture of love.

Phew. Preach!

mavgirl_73

nicholssquared said:

Meggie0421 said:

I don't care if you don't use birth control, but I do care when the largest church in the world tells it's followers that using birth control is a sin. I care when I see Catholic organizations standing outside of Planned Parenthood with pictures of aborted babies with a caption of "murder" or something along those lines.
The Church helps set women's rights back 50 years.

They condemn homosexuality- unless it involves them and underage children- then they just sweep it under the rug.

I was confirmed Catholic and there are some fabulous things about Catholicism. When it comes to not judging, they don't quite make the cut.

I understand how you must feel that the Church is attacking you and attacking women's rights. But that's not the way I see it. Our doctrine clearly indicates to us that I we should never attack anyone or any group of people, only actions that are unjust.

I had premarital sex. I knew it was wrong according to my faith. When I spoke to my priest, I was informed that it was wrong, but that God still loved me as a person, with the capacity to do great good. Similarly, the Church teaches that using BC and having an abortion is wrong, but not that the women who do those things are terrible sinners that are inherently evil and beyond loving. I think when the Church doesn't make it clear that while the oppose the actions, the people who choose to do those things are still inherently good, it misrepresents itself and hurts its image greatly.

I think the comment about the sex abuse scandal is untrue and unnecessary. The Church clearly teaches that sex outside of marriage is wrong in any situation and it absolutely was not swept under the rug within the Church. There were sweeping inquiries and investigations, awareness campaigns and education and hierarchical reform that took place within our organization, they just weren't publicized at all, especially compared to the abuse itself. And the people who were involved in what supposed "cover ups" that took place were certainly not praised by the Church, they were reprimanded severely.


Um no they were not. At least not all of them. And if sexual predators were allowed to be reassigned in schools amd reprimanded I feel like many Catholics who stood behind the "punishments" would have been singing another tune. Appropriate punshiment would have been being stripped of their vestments and thrown in jail/court system along with any other sexual predator not simply transferred to another parish.

insertclevername

monkeybutt61612 said:

I think packing a hospital bag weeks in advance is silly and unnecessary.  

I think it is reasonable to have it packed by the time you reach 36-37 weeks.  If I had waited to pack my bag until I was in labor, I would have had a car baby.  I much preferred having my son in the hospital to having my son in the car.

nicholssquared

2. I'm cool with Christians.  I'm not cool with Christians who think the Jews killed Christ and are still holding a grudge about it.  If you're not Jewish and you're a sensible person, you've probably not been subjected to the anger this particular viewpoint brings forth in some denominations.  It's a big cause of antisemitism.  It was 2,000 years ago and apparently G-d preordained it so, you know, get over it.  

People are seriously pissed about this? What kind of Christian is pissed about the mechanism of our salvation, for which nobody alive today was in any way remotely responsible for? Now I understand why Christians get a bad rap, lol...That's seriously crazy. I'm sorry you've had to endure that.

Ktrue85

KKDRAGONFLY said:

Ktrue85 said:

Since @KateMW wants it juicy today, how about spanking?

My UO is H and I are pro-spanking, when/if necessary.

How do you teach your child not to hit others if you hit them?

I never hit other kids growing up, and I was spanked.

A child should be shown that the relationship between mother/father and child is different from a child to another child. I knew that spanking meant my parents were disciplining me for something I did that was very wrong and/or dangerous. I understood this because my parents always explained to me why i was being punished. It wasn't just used as a tool for scolding or because we were being brats. When used correctly and in the appropriate role, there is no reason a child should learn its okay to do to their peers. IMO its about setting up the distinction of the parent/child relationship vs child/child relationship.

But, yes I am a FTM and I am open to the idea that my views could change with my own kids. I know I have a lot to learn, trust me. All I know currently is it was used correctly in my household growing up and I turned out absolutely fine.

TheSloppySwish

NYMama1 said:

KKDRAGONFLY said:

How do you teach your child not to hit others if you hit them?

I cannot get behind spanking at all because of this.  It just makes no sense to me.  A huge issue that I just had with my DH was discipline.  DS1 was yelling and being a typical toddler.  Instead of calmly informing DS1 that we use our inside voice and that it is not nice to yell, DH yelled at DS1 to stop yelling.  That is pretty much the definition of ludicrous.  You don't teach a child not to do something by doing it.  There is always a more appropriate and effective form of discipline that spanking or yelling.

I agree with this 100%. We do not spank, but I have to watch myself with yelling. It's very tempting and easy to yell when your kid's being a complete asshole and you don't know what else to do.

As you say, it's not the answer and almost always makes the sitation worse by agitating DD further.

mavgirl_73

@northport06- I HATE PINK. It's so terrible. Thank goodness there are more non pink items available now than even 2 years ago. *sprinkles non pink loving dust*

nicholssquared

mavgirl_73 said:

Um no they were not. At least not all of them. And if sexual predators were allowed to be reassigned in schools amd reprimanded I feel like many Catholics who stood behind the "punishments" would have been singing another tune. Appropriate punshiment would have been being stripped of their vestments and thrown in jail/court system along with any other sexual predator not simply transferred to another parish.

I'm sorry, I should have been more clear. "Reprimanded severely" includes and is not limited to all the things you mentioned.

Again, I feel like the choices that people made who were members of our Church, which were horrendous and wrong, are what people end up understanding about our Church and our faith, which is simply not true. The choices of an individual which don't reflect the principles of the organization cannot be logically attributed to the organization and the whole of the body of people who are in it, regardless of whether it's a Church, school, or any kind of secular organization. I don't feel as if anyone's deliberately trying to attack my faith here or anything like that, certainly not, but like I said in a PP just trying to clear up some popularized misrepresentations.

cammyisagirlsname

This is still so boring. But I have nothing interesting to bring to the table and now I have to work til 8!

Give me something good to read when I get a break or get out, ladies!

Gapeach83

KateMW said:

@lawren you think that bc most of our players could go straight to the NFL. SEC for lyfe.

SEC is the only conference worth watching. GO DAWGS!

nofcksgiven

mavgirl_73 said:

nicholssquared said:

Meggie0421 said:

I don't care if you don't use birth control, but I do care when the largest church in the world tells it's followers that using birth control is a sin. I care when I see Catholic organizations standing outside of Planned Parenthood with pictures of aborted babies with a caption of "murder" or something along those lines.
The Church helps set women's rights back 50 years.

They condemn homosexuality- unless it involves them and underage children- then they just sweep it under the rug.

I was confirmed Catholic and there are some fabulous things about Catholicism. When it comes to not judging, they don't quite make the cut.

I understand how you must feel that the Church is attacking you and attacking women's rights. But that's not the way I see it. Our doctrine clearly indicates to us that I we should never attack anyone or any group of people, only actions that are unjust.

I had premarital sex. I knew it was wrong according to my faith. When I spoke to my priest, I was informed that it was wrong, but that God still loved me as a person, with the capacity to do great good. Similarly, the Church teaches that using BC and having an abortion is wrong, but not that the women who do those things are terrible sinners that are inherently evil and beyond loving. I think when the Church doesn't make it clear that while the oppose the actions, the people who choose to do those things are still inherently good, it misrepresents itself and hurts its image greatly.

I think the comment about the sex abuse scandal is untrue and unnecessary. The Church clearly teaches that sex outside of marriage is wrong in any situation and it absolutely was not swept under the rug within the Church. There were sweeping inquiries and investigations, awareness campaigns and education and hierarchical reform that took place within our organization, they just weren't publicized at all, especially compared to the abuse itself. And the people who were involved in what supposed "cover ups" that took place were certainly not praised by the Church, they were reprimanded severely.

Um no they were not. At least not all of them. And if sexual predators were allowed to be reassigned in schools amd reprimanded I feel like many Catholics who stood behind the "punishments" would have been singing another tune. Appropriate punshiment would have been being stripped of their vestments and thrown in jail/court system along with any other sexual predator not simply transferred to another parish.



This. All of this.

Also, I love how practicing Catholics rebuttal to the abuse scandals is always the same. It's unnecessary or not true.

It *is* necessary. It *is* true. Around the time the scandal broke is the time I broke all ties with the church. I absolutely would not be a part of an organization that swept such horrible things under the rug. And then for the parishioners to cry and claim how unfair it is to be called out on it. That boggles my mind. I don't understand how anyone can defend such horrible things.

Be Catholic or don't be. I really don't care. But, don't blow smoke about how non judgmental and accepting it is.

mavgirl_73

@nicholssquared-I agree that those, unfortunately, are the things people end up remembering. However it's partially because the church was a little come lately in addressing the issues publicly. From what you've said it sounds like you have a good handle on what the church *should* stand for (not meant in a patronizing manner) but until it's leadership unites and publicly conveys the church's true beliefs and more importantly carries out those beliefs this will be the view that a large portion of the population has.

notkateanymore

TheSloppySwish said:

My UO is that I really hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in cheerleading, dance teams or anything similiar. I think those activites are a waste of time that perpetuate poor ideals to young girls.

Why?

insertclevername

TheSloppySwish said:

NYMama1 said:

KKDRAGONFLY said:

How do you teach your child not to hit others if you hit them?

I cannot get behind spanking at all because of this.  It just makes no sense to me.  A huge issue that I just had with my DH was discipline.  DS1 was yelling and being a typical toddler.  Instead of calmly informing DS1 that we use our inside voice and that it is not nice to yell, DH yelled at DS1 to stop yelling.  That is pretty much the definition of ludicrous.  You don't teach a child not to do something by doing it.  There is always a more appropriate and effective form of discipline that spanking or yelling.

I agree with this 100%. We do not spank, but I have to watch myself with yelling. It's very tempting and easy to yell when your kid's being a complete asshole and you don't know what else to do.

As you say, it's not the answer and almost always makes the sitation worse by agitating DD further.

Yeah, no one is perfect, we are all human.  I lose my cool sometimes as well and have a lot more since I have been pregnant.  I don't think it is a coincidence that DS1 has started yelling more as well. 

northport6

nicholssquared said:

2. I'm cool with Christians.  I'm not cool with Christians who think the Jews killed Christ and are still holding a grudge about it.  If you're not Jewish and you're a sensible person, you've probably not been subjected to the anger this particular viewpoint brings forth in some denominations.  It's a big cause of antisemitism.  It was 2,000 years ago and apparently G-d preordained it so, you know, get over it.  

People are seriously pissed about this? What kind of Christian is pissed about the mechanism of our salvation, for which nobody alive today was in any way remotely responsible for? Now I understand why Christians get a bad rap, lol...That's seriously crazy. I'm sorry you've had to endure that.

You are a good and gentle person -- I urge you NOT to Google this topic, because it will make your blood boil.  These are clearly Christians descended from the Spanish Inquisitors' line of reasoning. 

esf60

@TheSloppySwish said:

My UO is that I really hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in cheerleading, dance teams or anything similiar. I think those activites are a waste of time that perpetuate poor ideals to young girls.

I don't get that at all. Being on a dance team -- all the way through college, I should add -- taught me teamwork, discipline, coordination, was great exercise, I could go on and on. I loved it. It's one thing for a mother to force her daughter to do it because she thinks it's the "right"' activity for her to do, but if your kid is genuinely into it, why would it bother you?

northport6

Sunshine5788 said:

northport6 

Whew I thought I was the only one that hated pink and don't really want to put my little girl in. I will, mostly because my H wants to make sure she has a choice on whether she likes it or not, but it's a hard thing for me to cope with. 

I'm secretly dreading opening gifts at my shower due to this, I'm afraid I'll get a ton of pink things and have to pretend I love them.

I actually put a bunch of boy things on my registry because they were cute and stripey and had more colors than the "girl" stuff.  I was adopted on rather short notice and so my mom put me in hand-me-downs from her friends' kids...who were all boys.  I wore a lot of blue.  I survived.

Ktrue85

TheSloppySwish said:

My UO is that I really hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in cheerleading, dance teams or anything similiar. I think those activites are a waste of time that perpetuate poor ideals to young girls.

Woah.  I feel the exact opposite.  I hope our little guy takes interest in team sports and/or anything athletic as I found those things so important to me when I was growing up.

jaykay627

I'm a Christian. My faith in Jesus is the most important thing in my life. But I can easily understand why some of you have the feelings you've expressed toward Christianity/organized religion. We've done a pretty crappy job of loving people like Christ loves us and has taught us to love. And we are judgmental and hypocritical, and I'm sad about that and wish I could change it. I just try to live my daily life with kindness and compassion, and in a way that represents Christ well. And if given the opportunity, I share the gospel of God's grace with others. It's not to be judgmental or to bash others over the head with my Bible and let them know they're sinners going to Hell. It's because of the grace that I've found in Jesus, and because of how much God loves us. 

I watched a video a long time ago of Penn Jillette talking about a Christian that gave him a Bible after a Penn & Teller performance. While Penn doesn't believe in God or have any current interest in having a relationship with Him, he was still grateful to the man that gave him the Bible. Summarizing his words, if we, as Christians, honestly believe that our religion is true, and that those who don't trust in Jesus for salvation will spend an eternity in Hell, then how much would we have to hate others to not tell them about Jesus?

TheSloppySwish

 

tarashea721 said:

TheSloppySwish said:

My UO is that I really hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in cheerleading, dance teams or anything similiar. I think those activites are a waste of time that perpetuate poor ideals to young girls.

Why?

Yeah, why? Dance had the largest positive impact on my life of any activity I participated in. I learned discipline, hard work, team work, balance in my life. Etc. Strange standpoint, IMO.

I get that, but there are other ways to learn these values.

Cheerleading and dance put a lot of emphasis on physical appearance, body imagine, gender stereotypes, etc. I'm always uncomfortable when I see pics of young girls on these teams spackled in makeup and FB posts about dance team moms who stayed up all night sewing sequins on their costumes. I don't get it.

Not to say I'd forbid my daughter if she really wanted to do it, but it would make me wary.

Lawren

jkrauss627 said:

I'm a Christian. My faith in Jesus is the most important thing in my life. But I can easily understand why some of you have the feelings you've expressed toward Christianity/organized religion. We've done a pretty crappy job of loving people like Christ loves us and has taught us to love. And we are judgmental and hypocritical, and I'm sad about that and wish I could change it. I just try to live my daily life with kindness and compassion, and in a way that represents Christ well. And if given the opportunity, I share the gospel of God's grace with others. It's not to be judgmental or to bash others over the head with my Bible and let them know they're sinners going to Hell. It's because of the grace that I've found in Jesus, and because of how much God loves us. 

I watched a video a long time ago of Penn Jillette talking about a Christian that gave him a Bible after a Penn & Teller performance. While Penn doesn't believe in God or have any current interest in having a relationship with Him, he was still grateful to the man that gave him the Bible. Summarizing his words, if we, as Christians, honestly believe that our religion is true, and that those who don't trust in Jesus for salvation will spend an eternity in Hell, then how much would we have to hate others to not tell them about Jesus?

Our pastor has shown that video at church a few times. It's pretty powerful.

onewayticket

TheSloppySwish said:

My UO is that I really hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in cheerleading, dance teams or anything similiar. I think those activites are a waste of time that perpetuate poor ideals to young girls.

My dance team was my favorite part of highschool. It taught me dedication, discipline, and how to be a team player. We practiced at least 12 hours a week. I also eventually became a captain which taught me important lessions in leadership. It encouraged us to be phsyically active and fit. We ran, stretched, and did cross training (not always dance).

What are the "poor ideals" you are speaking about?

natleilynn

In regards to the sports/music/cheerleading/dance thing. I did all of the above growing up, and I will encourage my kids to do the same.

We all have different gifts and passions in life. Just because I had a strength or enjoyed one activity doesn't mean my child will share that strength or passion.

I want my child to be part of something that encourages them and helps them grow. And I'm going to help them find those things by encouraging them to do all of them. I took piano lessons, was part of the church children's choir, cheered for a few years, took dance for almost 10 years (did NOTHING for me, I had fun but man I have no rhythm) and played basketball, volleyball, tennis, ran track, cross country - everything. Because I did so much, it made it much easier to narrow down what I really wanted to focus on later on - which was running and I did so in college on a scholarship. 

I still play piano, I still run, I still dance awkwardly around the house. We still took summer vacations, I still went to summer camps and had normal "kid friendly" summers.

So, yeah. I'm going to put my kids in a lot of different activities to try to help them find something that they enjoy. I'd really rather not spend hours at a baseball/football field, but gosh darn it if it's something they enjoy and/or are good at, then I'll be right there for those hours, in the crazy weather, cheering them on. I might not love listening to that trumpet squeak for hours, but I'll deal with it the same as my parents dealt with my wrong notes on the piano for years. 

onewayticket

gwinnygirl said:

I hope our children choose music or arts over team sports. Though I recognize there can be a benefit to team sports, I just am not that into them. Plus, the people I know with older kids that play sports seriously & have to travel all summer or whatever? That shit seems to be a nuisance. I hope our kid just wants to play D&D in the basement or a start garage band, maybe get super involved with the drama club.

ETA: I just re-read this & was like "Damn gwinny, you're a lazy parent." lols. But really, I will support whatever they want to do or play; however I won't push for them to play a ton of sports the way it was pushed for my H and my male cousins. H absolutely love sports and agrees with me on this wholeheartedly.

Why do they have to choose? You can be in drama/ music programs and play sports. I danced and was involved in drama. I had a few friends who were very inovlved in our schools musical programs but also played soccer/football.

Ktrue85

TheSloppySwish said:

 

tarashea721 said:

TheSloppySwish said:

My UO is that I really hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in cheerleading, dance teams or anything similiar. I think those activites are a waste of time that perpetuate poor ideals to young girls.

Why?

Yeah, why? Dance had the largest positive impact on my life of any activity I participated in. I learned discipline, hard work, team work, balance in my life. Etc. Strange standpoint, IMO.

I get that, but there are other ways to learn these values.

Cheerleading and dance put a lot of emphasis on physical appearance, body imagine, gender stereotypes, etc. I'm always uncomfortable when I see pics of young girls on these teams spackled in makeup and FB posts about dance team moms who stayed up all night sewing sequins on their costumes. I don't get it.

Not to say I'd forbid my daughter if she really wanted to do it, but it would make me wary.

Perhaps another UO.... But I don't mind the "prettying up" of kids when they are in competitions.

Some little girls, like myself when I was young, reeeeally enjoyed doing all the glitz and glam of dance and cheer.  When I got to put on makeup for a competition, I would get SO excited and feel so pretty.  Of course, that isn't to say that I didn't have your typical self esteem issues later in life when high school rolled around.  Trust me, I see what you're saying about body image issues, I really really do...  I guess I'm kind of on the fence here with that point.  I guess I just don't mind it as long as the kid is enjoying themselves.

ETA:  I just realized what a wish-washy reply this was.  I have no good excuse, but I apologize.  I may need a nap.

SoMoNY

onewayticket said:

gwinnygirl said:

I hope our children choose music or arts over team sports. Though I recognize there can be a benefit to team sports, I just am not that into them. Plus, the people I know with older kids that play sports seriously & have to travel all summer or whatever? That shit seems to be a nuisance. I hope our kid just wants to play D&D in the basement or a start garage band, maybe get super involved with the drama club.

ETA: I just re-read this & was like "Damn gwinny, you're a lazy parent." lols. But really, I will support whatever they want to do or play; however I won't push for them to play a ton of sports the way it was pushed for my H and my male cousins. H absolutely love sports and agrees with me on this wholeheartedly.

Why do they have to choose? You can be in drama/ music programs and play sports. I danced and was involved in drama. I had a few friends who were very inovlved in our schools musical programs but also played soccer/football.

Because for working parents there are only so many hours in the day/week.  Takes a lot of time and effort to move them from activity to activity while also making sure they do school work and get enough sleep.

Also, some folks might not be able to afford every activity.

northport6

@gwinnygirl  We really, really, really hope to be ice hockey parents.  We already have an agreement in place that says I don't have to wake up earlier than 7 am for practice/games/transportation in order to make this happen because LAZY. Also SLEEPY.

northport6

@KateMW  We've utterly failed you -- our controversies were all so polite today.  I think the next UO needs to start out: "You're all a bunch of bitches.  Discuss."

insertclevername

I guess my UO is while it will be wonderful if DS1 and DS2 are extremely successful in life and involved in activities, etc., the only thing I really worry about is that one of my children ends up as a drug addict and/or criminal. 

natleilynn

northport6 said:

@KateMW  We've utterly failed you -- our controversies were all so polite today.  I think the next UO needs to start out: "You're all a bunch of bitches.  Discuss."

I know, right? I kind of get nostalgic and sad when people talk about how crazy A14 is. It's like...ahhh...I remember when that was us. 

Now we're just another board. A seriously awesome board with awesome news reports. But still. We're just not the crazies anymore. I really expected us to get more insane the more hormonal we all got. 

SoMoNY

northport6 said:

@gwinnygirl  We really, really, really hope to be ice hockey parents.  We already have an agreement in place that says I don't have to wake up earlier than 7 am for practice/games/transportation in order to make this happen because LAZY. Also SLEEPY.

I was hoping to start DS on skating lessons at Rinx this fall but thinking Spring instead to allow him more time to become better coordinated, better at following instructions and more self-confident.

northport6

@superspecialsnowflake  You are TOTALLY right on that score -- if we didn't live in such a cheap place and make good money relative to the cost to live here, we wouldn't be having children at all, much less thinking about what activities we could sign them up for.  When we lived on Long Island, buying a house and having children wasn't even something we talked about.

KELLILOVESJOSH

Regarding physical discipline for kids. I popped my girls in the hand to keep them from touching something or breaking something after I said no and they still continued. I spanked my oldest daughter twice and remember both times. She doesn't so apparently it was more traumatizing for me. I don't judge parents who do it but I don't think it should ever be the only form of discipline. I remember being spanked only once as a child, according to the folks it was the only time because my dad cried like a baby after he did it, and well I was just an awesome kid hehe.
Churches, Religion and Christianity? I will say this I've had good and bad experiences and I've been involved in many Religions trying to find my way I suppose. You can not initially judge a person by their faith or choice of religion any more than you can judge a person and stereotype according to their race. There is good and bad in everyone.
Dance and cheer? I cringe when I would see my niece in skimpy outfits at 10 years old! But not all cheer groups are like that, the one she is in now focuses more on athleticism and gymnastics. She loves it and its wonderful, they don't wear makeup, sparkles or huge bows. Their outfits cover them and they are pretty darn impressive. But again everyone is different and some people like the flashy stuff. I'd discourage my daughter if she cared anything about it but if she wanted to I'd let her as long as the outfit was age appropriate. Thankfully she's into water Skiing Guitar and Karate. No makeup needed lol but we do like to throw down for Halloween and costume parties

blainethetrain

Here's one. My son will not be allowed to play any sports with a danger of repeated head trauma. No football, no hockey, none of it. It's just not worth it.

insertclevername

gwinnygirl said:

NYMama1 said:

I guess my UO is while it will be wonderful if DS1 and DS2 are extremely successful in life and involved in activities, etc., the only thing I really worry about is that one of my children ends up as a drug addict and/or criminal. 

This is one of my biggest fears - it's heightened for me because of H having been involved with the Juvenile Justice System for so long.

I also worry about my children becoming teen parents. I would be very disappointed if this happened. It would just make life much harder for them. I'm always asking H how we should address safe sex with them, he's like "Calm down. We have a few years before we need to go into all that."

I worry about it too.  I will honestly throw a freaking party if both of my sons make it out of high school alive, without a child, a drug/alcohol addiction or a juvie record.

frankierokx

gwinnygirl said:

NYMama1 said:

I guess my UO is while it will be wonderful if DS1 and DS2 are extremely successful in life and involved in activities, etc., the only thing I really worry about is that one of my children ends up as a drug addict and/or criminal. 

This is one of my biggest fears - it's heightened for me because of H having been involved with the Juvenile Justice System for so long.

I also worry about my children becoming teen parents. I would be very disappointed if this happened. It would just make life much harder for them. I'm always asking H how we should address safe sex with them, he's like "Calm down. We have a few years before we need to go into all that."

I was in Primary School when I was first showed the Sex Education Video so I was about 6/7.

I had my first period when I was 8 so I'm glad I knew what it was all about. 

But when is teaching about safe sex too young? Me and DH are split on this topic.

nofcksgiven

SweetSouthernMomma08 said:

gwinnygirl said:

NYMama1 said:

I guess my UO is while it will be wonderful if DS1 and DS2 are extremely successful in life and involved in activities, etc., the only thing I really worry about is that one of my children ends up as a drug addict and/or criminal. 

This is one of my biggest fears - it's heightened for me because of H having been involved with the Juvenile Justice System for so long.

I also worry about my children becoming teen parents. I would be very disappointed if this happened. It would just make life much harder for them. I'm always asking H how we should address safe sex with them, he's like "Calm down. We have a few years before we need to go into all that."

I agree with your DH about the sex talk...except they are teaching it in some schools at very young ages. and that is because 10-12 yr olds are sleeping around etc.


Something about the phrase "10-12 yr olds are sleeping around etc." greatly rubs me the wrong way.

*ETA- typo

frankierokx

gwinnygirl said:

frankierokx said:

gwinnygirl said:

NYMama1 said:

I guess my UO is while it will be wonderful if DS1 and DS2 are extremely successful in life and involved in activities, etc., the only thing I really worry about is that one of my children ends up as a drug addict and/or criminal. 

This is one of my biggest fears - it's heightened for me because of H having been involved with the Juvenile Justice System for so long.

I also worry about my children becoming teen parents. I would be very disappointed if this happened. It would just make life much harder for them. I'm always asking H how we should address safe sex with them, he's like "Calm down. We have a few years before we need to go into all that."

I was in Primary School when I was first showed the Sex Education Video so I was about 6/7.

I had my first period when I was 8 so I'm glad I knew what it was all about. 

But when is teaching about safe sex too young? Me and DH are split on this topic.

The $1,000,000 question, Frankie. People in the US are very, very divided on this - as well as who should be teaching it.

Ah so it's not just us then. I say the younger the better, as well as using the words penis and vagina. It's not that long ago that a read about a young girl that used the word peach for her vagina and her babysitter did not understand that her uncle was touching her peach. 

I feel it is both up to the parents to teach it first and the teachers to reinforce it. I was educated about it in school, but I wish my parents would of told me first.