Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Ask a STM+ Thread
For the record, mamas, you are beautiful in every transition you go through, before, during and after pregnancy. If you forget that, the people who love you most should be reinforcing that message. If they don't, ask me. My job is literally to be a hype person. I'm happy to mirror back what makes you shine.
For me, I think it’s the forced change. Growing up with celiac, I had a lot of pain and body-related things I could not control, and so giving up the control again has been really difficult even if it’s just the mental aspect of accepting it.
I've had friends go to the independent places. I never have. I would honestly just ask my doctor. I always end up with a lot because I bleed frequently and heavily and because they have to watch the growth etc. I'm having a lot of anxiety this pregnancy so I plan on asking for more frequent ultrasounds/ appointments until I can feel the baby moving for reassurance.
A teeny bit of background, I'm pregnant with my first kid and my husband and I have often talked about having 5 kiddos. Ideally I'd like to have them all by 40 (I'm 26 now) but I don't want to just knock them all out and then basically drown for the next 10 years of my life... I'm also less set on the number 5 and kind of just want to have however many kids come out until we feel like we're done. So that's another question, obviously we're all pregnant here so it's a little bit of a weird question, but is there a point when you know you're done having kids?
My apologies for my rambling questions 🤣 the reality of taking care of another human being is kind of terrifying me at the moment. And then my husband made a comment about trying for a kid when this one is a year old and I don't think I've ever shut down a conversation so fast 😬😬😬
@cfranx I have a few “flutters” but I’m not trusting it either. 😆
as far as number for me PERSONALLY— I always wanted 4 or 5, too. But there are days I look at my two girls and I have this overwhelming feeling of contentment. I’m so freaking happy with the two girls I have to the point I question why I’m getting greedy having a third. I literally have the 2 best kids in all of the world that it’s just this feeling of completeness. For every baby I have after of course I’ll feel so excited and happy. But nothing is “missing”. I felt before I got pregnant with #3 that if I couldn’t get pregnant I wouldn’t be rock bottom devastated. I love my kids. I do also feel like the more I have the more I’ll be spread thin and not as stellar as a mom (again, ME, personally). Idk if I’d be as patient and gentle 😆 and uh…I don’t even get me started with financial load of adding +1 +1 +1 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’ll end there.
It wasn’t anything so distinctive as movement/flutters or such, but it was more like a general awareness on my uterus, I guess?
uterus
vs
[uterus]
I know that my anterior placenta means it can take a long time to feel anything. It definitely didn’t feel like gas or bowels in general, I’m really in tune with those sensations due to some past/intermittent health issues.
so hang in there if you’re having “maybe baby?” moments! In 7-14 days those one offs will be undeniable 🖤🖤
3) i pick up new worries at each stage of my pregnancy... The topic of worry this week has been an insufficient cervix .. i have been experiencing light cramping that is on and off and not too consistent throughout the day.. also have been experiencing terrible back pain, and I did not have any back pain prior to the pregnancy... While I've read that these are all normal symptoms.. I'm also just overly anxious about everything.. my first appt witht my OB isn't until week 20.... The only way to find peace would be to go to the emergency but I'm also dreading the 8 hours+ wait at the hospital and the pain is not THAT bad.... Does it progress in terms of level of pain? Or do you just know something isnt right...
1) I had a continuous epidural that could be adjusted. It was a blessing because I had two emergency c sections and that made it so they could get the baby out faster. Now with my planned c section the spinal block (not the same as epidural) wore off and I could literally feel them sewing me up but I couldn't move. It was terrible.
2) you can leak colostrum not breast milk. This does not happen to every woman. Breast milk comes in after the baby is born. It can take a few days for that to happen.
3) cramping is your new frenemy. So is back pain. Your body is doing some real internal gymnastics to make room for your expanding uterus and it's buddy. I don't think I've stopped cramping since conception. My bigger worry is why you don't see your OB for the first time until 20 weeks? That's not the standard of care. You should have had 2-3 by now.
Its weird here, I'm from Toronto area and I called around, no OB was willing to see me before 18 weeks at the earliest unless i was "high-risk" so then i i just went with the one nearest to home and the hospital of choice with positive reviews
That's crazy. I'm in the states and they have you come in between 6-8 weeks and then a month later and then usually a month after that. Did the hospital do an ultrasound when you went?