October 2022 Moms

Ask a STM+ Thread


Re: Ask a STM+ Thread

  • @libra_lilly for your first question, the same thing happened to my friend and it was a huge fear of mine. Our hospital had a “meet the anesthesiologist” class and I went solely for this reason. They told me that if I was in labor for a week, they’d give me an epidural for 7 days. So it might vary by hospital (my friend delivered at a different hospital than me) and you may need to ask?
  • @libra_lilly I'm also from Toronto and that's very much not the standard of care here either. I'm not high risk and have been seen 3 times so far, twice virtually and once in person, not including ultrasounds and bloodwork. Do you have a family doctor you can see until you see your OB? All prenatal care here should offer the first trimester screening, which includes an ultrasound and bloodwork between 11-14 weeks and it's covered by OHIP. If none of this has been offered to you I'm so sorry. Even if you haven't seen your OB yet I would definitely recommend calling them with your concerns, particularly the back pain if it feels severe. You could also try calling Telehealth and speak with a nurse.
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  • @krthouse That sounded off! I know a few of you are in Canada and have been in several times. 
  • @libralily here’s been my experience with 3 babies:
    1) I had a continuous epidural with all 3 vaginal births. I’ll admit my labors weren’t as long, but they could have added another bag if needed. They actually forgot to turn off my epidural after my 2nd, so that was interesting. I do prefer lowering it when getting ready to push, as it’s easier when you can feel something. 
    2) with my first, I started leaking colostrum around 20-ish weeks. I’d get wet spots on my shirts while sleeping, but it was never anything significant. I didn’t really leak with my 2nd and 3rd, but it didn’t impact my supply at all with them (if anything my supply was more with them). 
    3) Mild cramping is fairly normal. I often realize that mine is round ligament pain. Things are stretching and moving to make room. It’ll cause lower back pain as well. If you can’t breathe through the pain, that’s when it becomes concerning. I try drinking some water and moving around a bit. But if you’re ever truly concerned, trust your body and your instincts. You should be able to call your provider (even if they haven’t seen you yet) if you are concerned and they *should* get you in earlier if needed. 

    Hang in there!
  • Also yoga is great for stretching out and loosening round ligament pain. 
  • My advice is stay off the internet 😆 especially TikTok/IG. The amount of both misinformation or fear spreading is so ridiculous. 

    1. Never assume someone’s traumatic birth story or pain experience will be yours. Their story is not contagious. And epidurals are just wild. Mine took beautifully with my first, and failed 3 times with my second to the point I birthed without it and preferred that! You just never know. But as far as timing, they guide you. they will help that decision 

    2. agree with above. You may leak colostrum you may not. I did with both of my girls and fairly early on. It doesn’t imply anything. Does not mean you’ll have the easiest breastfeeding journey ever if you leak. But it also doesn’t mean you’ll be insufficient at producing if you never leak! Just happens or doesn’t happen 🙃

    3. trust your body. Trust your cervix. Cramps, twinges, pains, aches, pokes, sharp, dull; throbbing, etc are all NORMAL!!! Could they be abnormal? Like, of course. But most of the time a mama knows. If pain intensifies, you’re doubled over, or if it doesn’t go away with positional changes/hydration/stretching/pooping/time…it’s just pregnancy. You cannot expect your tiny little uterus to stretch and stretch and stretch a little bit every day and not have pain. Your muscles are stretching out. Your ligaments are loosening. Your joints are screaming wtf? Things hurt. I get little twinges/pinches all the time and I thank my body for accommodating growth & new life. Positive mindset. 

    But also agree with above. I know you’re in Canada but 20 weeks? Damn. I’d be seeing a private clinic or pay for a private ultrasound on my own (though those aren’t diagnostic)
  • Can a STM try to explain what flutters feel like? I’m so excited to feel something I think I’m reaching 😅
  • @mcclanna I think it's a little different for everyone but in the early stages it's like a swooshing. Later on it can feel like a rolling swoosh. Like something is churning in your uterus. 
    I think the rolling swoosh is why gas and baby can be so easily mixed up. I don't know if that makes any sense. 
  • To me, it feels like a bubble or a popcorn pop in my low low abdomen. Or like someone is flicking/thumping you from inside. They start off 1 at a time and infrequently and then become more obvious and closer together! Flick the palm of your hand. Now imagine that but inside your uterus. Pretty subtle at first 

  • @mckenzc ah yes there it is! I felt it a week or so ago 3x in a row and thought it was a twitch and then felt one more last night (same quick small kinda cute twitch). 😊
  • I definitely get the jumping bean feeling as well. 🤣 I'm just looking forward to kicks. Hiccups will do also. 
  • @mcclanna @krysnicole1022 I get the churning swoosh too. Every night when I lay down and it lasts for a couple of minutes. but I still have a hard time believing that it’s not just digestion haha. Maybe someday I’ll believe that this is real!
  • @bows22 I like to think that it's the baby swimming. 🤣
  • @bows22 @krysnicole1022 as soon as I posted it this morning I felt 7 kicks. It was while lying down on my back and as soon as I put my hand on the right hand side. Soft cute little kicks! 
  • Someone calm me down 😅

    I go in and out of excitement vs panic at adding a third. I just question if I’m getting in over my head with three. I’m sure this is just bc change is scary, no matter what. Plus we are in such a good flow/routine with our 2. 

    But…with my ultrasound at 12 weeks AND my NP appointment today both providers have commented on how insanely active this baby is. I’m talking rocket launching flips and catapults in my uterus. NP took so long to finally record BPM because every time she would locate the heartbeat, baby would torpedo away from it before the machine could gather BPM

    Am I going to have a hyper active child?! Are they going to be off the walls?!?! 😅 this is my fear speaking. Someone tell me their very calm and well tempered (now) child was a maniac in the womb? 
  • Well every single one of my babies have been bonkers in utero. Like my second one who is my bird boned delicate flower would kick the NST monitors off. After an hour they gave up because clearly she was kicking. 🤣 A lot of the times they get amped up if you eat something sweet/sugary or caffeinated within a certain time frame before the ultrasound. I actually make sure to eat a couple pieces of chocolate 10-20 minutes before an ultrasound. 
    As far as adding a third ...it's rough AF. I'm not going to lie. It's very tricky. There is a lot of juggling. There are a lot of clashing personalities. My oldest has extra needs and we had to homeschool her because of this so that also factored into our transition from 2-3. Although school was more stressful than homeschooling. She basically teaches herself. It does eventually get easier when they are toddlers. I think it would probably be different depending on their ages. When my third was born my oldest was almost 5 and my second was 19 months. Figuring out bed times was tricky. My middle kid went to bed at 630pm sometimes earlier while my oldest went to bed at 730pm. I had that hour window to get my son to sleep. It ended up working out and everything is fine and we adjusted. Obviously it wasn't too bad or we wouldn't be adding a fourth. Haha
  • About six months after having our son (our third) I screamed at my husband to just go get a vasectomy because I was never doing this again. 🤣🤣🤣 Glad he didn't now. It's hard but it's worth it. Also my second does actually have ADHD (we think) but she presents with more female dominant ADHD traits so she never stops moving but it's more fidgety and constantly playing NOT bouncing off the walls. It has it's benefits. My son just literally bounced off the walls. He's quite literally dented our walls with his head. I have three brothers so I know this is just what's in store for me. 
  • @mckenzc I’m having all the same freak-outs about going from 2 to 3!
  • My third baby is literally an angel. Sweet precious angel baby. And he’s 2 so that’s saying a lot 🤪
  • 2 is my very favorite age. Three is when it starts to turn here. 
  • KGETS86KGETS86 member
    Three is the most challenging adjustment in my experience. You go from man to man coverage to zone defense. Mine were also pretty close in age (3 under 3.5), and my oldest is autistic. We’ve gotten into a rhythm 2 years in, which is why we decided to add a final baby to the mix. My 3rd just turned two 2 months ago, and he’s wild. I partially blame it on him being a pandemic baby. But he thinks he can do anything and everything his older siblings do. He also trolls my 4yo daughter to no end. 

    I think if you go in with little expectation, and/or expecting some pandemonium, you’ll be just fine!
  • Does the newborn phase get easier after you've gone through it with your first kid? For people who have 2+ kids already, what was different between only have 1 kid as a newborn versus a newborn with other kids in the house?
  • edited May 2022
    I think it's different for everyone especially if you have family around to help or your
    older child is in school or goes to daycare. 
    For us each newborn phase became more relaxed but still really hard because we had to juggle so many emotions without ignoring the other two. Our third was basically fed, burped, changed, and then left to play off and on for various reasons. I spent way less time holding him as an infant during the day but still snuggled him all night of needed. We are fortunate that I can stay home and also that my husband works from home. He also never takes days off work so he can take 3-4 weeks off after the baby is born while I recover and focus mainly on the newborn and my c section recovery. I have no idea how a fourth baby is going to go. It's a complete crapshoot because you never know the kind of baby you're getting. My first was super chill. My second had horrific rashes and rarely slept until we found the cause. Our third was a mix of the two. All I know is fourth baby is going to be loved and it won't last long. We plan for a full blown upheaval for the next two years. We homeschool our oldest so that will be interesting with an infant. My oldest will be 9 and she's excited to help. My five year old wants to help by reading to the baby. My four year old has volunteered to help the baby learn to play with toys. I may not be the one giving the baby all the attention but I assume this child will have no peace or personal space for awhile. 
  • Has anyone taken the “push prep” course from the Belle Method? I’m considering it but would love to hear someone’s review/thoughts before paying for it!
  • @nerdymom22 literally considering the exact same class in July/August. I like that it incorporates Pilates exercises as well as some info on hospital bag packing and she doesn’t discriminate between medicated and non medicated birth options. 
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