Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: The Great Big Queston Thread!
Can we get "announcement" status for this post please?
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
I'm not planning to place the order just yet, but I like to get my ducks in a row early. For those who weren't aware (hi, FTMs!), most insurance will fully cover a breast pump for you, and some plans even cover replacement parts on a regular basis (I just found out mine does!).
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
I will say I used the motif duo as well, and hated it.
I don't think the portable pumps work for me. I would get more from waking around with the haakaa than I did with the duo. As a teacher, I need my pump to work strong and fast as I don't usually have much time to pump as I'm inconvening someone else when I take time to pump.
I always go with aeroflow breastpumps for my orders, I think I'll wait a bit and see if anything new comes out before I buy. I have 3 good pumps as back ups, but I feel I keep seeing new ones on the ig influencers I watch.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
On the breast pump convo - I am training to be a breastfeeding educator in Australia so if anybody would like more info on how to prepare have a look at this website or feel free to ask me. I cannot give individual advice for your specific issue, but I can give you generic information & point you to the right article on the website as sometimes they can be tricky to find
I plan to call insurance about it in the upcoming weeks, but I figured I’d ask for some anecdotes first!
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
The other day I had one and used Tylenol (which doesn't typically help me) I drank some Gatorade to get my hydration up quicker and used cold on my head and hung out in a dark room for a while. When i got up I had a bit of coffee and took a lukewarm shower. I ALWAYS have a pack of the "Be Kooool" gel patches in my fridge. My mom used to use them on me as a kid when i had a fever but now they work wonders for migraines. They are basically these gel sheets that get really cold in the fridge and stick to your forehead or neck so you can sleep and not worry about keeping an icepack on. I swear by them!
https://www.amazon.com/Koool-Cooling-Relief-Migraine-Sheets/dp/B07J4GPKTL/ref=sr_1_6?crid=1HJAVV45XWREU&keywords=fever+gel+patches&qid=1643043417&sprefix=fever+gel+patches,aps,110&sr=8-6
what is standard in the U.S. isn't necessarily standard everywhere else. U.S. tends to be much more "scan happy" than other parts of the world.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
I know super hot baths are a no-no during pregnancy, so I’ve been sitting on the edge of the tub with just my feet/calves in. However, I keep that water HOT. Like 104 degrees. (It cools down and I stick to 20 minutes.) I figured because it wasn’t my whole body, I was okay. Then I googled it and it sounds like even that isn’t good. 😳 I never got sweaty or felt faint, but of course now all I can think about are neural tube defects. I’ll stick to cooler foot soaks from here on out, but do you think baby is okay?
I keep telling myself that some women who are as far along as I am sometimes don't even know they are pregnant yet. I had a mini freak out the other day when I realized I was not supposed to be eating the cheese I was snacking on for a week and a half. But soon realized I am doing everything else right and one blunder was probably going to be ok. Us first trimester moms are learning and figuring out as we go and we are accidently going to take hot baths and eat the wrong cheese
the idea is you don't want to raise your core temperature significantly. keep a thermometer near by and make sure your core temp doesn't creep above 100 and you should be fine. I sincerely doubt you cooked your baby with a warm footsoak.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
I would STRONGLY recommend getting a hold of Emily Oster's Expecting Better - most of the "things you can't do" risks are EXTREMELY overblown and she does a very nice job of actually tracking down and reporting the empirical evidence on all the Thou Shalt Nots. For example, I will continue eating sushi, because there actually *isn't* a risk for an adverse impact relative to not being pregnant - it's the same risk there always is for getting sick if you eat bad sushi, but if you avoid bad sushi, you're fine. On the other hand, I do tailor what *kinds* of sushi I eat to avoid high mercury fishies, because that actually *is* an issue.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.