Low AMH Level

c-town18 · April 2021

andreamm31 - Sounds like a good plan moving forward. As much as science and medicine is involved in IF treatment, I do believe there is very much an element of luck involved in all of this as well (as frustrating as that is when it doesn't go our way and there is no clear medical explanation as to why). FWIW if I had 4 more DE PGS normals and no known problems despite all the testing you have undergone, I'd roll the dice again too. Your rationale totally makes sense to me.

JamieH2000 - How did your final beta go sister? I'm hoping for good news.

Kp214 - Glad to have you here! Wow, what a spring you've had. Cheers to a better summer for you!

mbradfo2 - I'm sending you good vibes and hoping the positive updates keep coming!

Hopeful_mom - I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! Can your RE get you in any sooner with a specialist on a referral??

Hopeful_mom · April 2021

@andreamm31 you are such a warrior and have a great attitude!! There is no reason that you shouldn't have success! Its just so frustrating to not know why this isn't a success! Your dr sounds just like mine when I mentioned immunology, however I did think there was something to it with the NK cells. Its good that you aren't giving up on your body! G-d bless your body, it has been through so much and has been able to bounce back so I'm with you! And there's no reason you shouldn't have faith. What else were you taking this pregnancy, I"m sorry if I missed that update! Having these headaches for 6 months you said...please gd no!! i have a friend that trying Reiki from a distance, thanks for the reminder!! I will check out the other recs thank you! I'm frustrated with myself for not being more mindful of pain meds when in the ER, I was just so focused on getting the CTscan that i just wasnt thinking of what can help me with this horrific pain till a dr will see me! Lord knows I didn't think it would be so long till I see someone!

@Kp214 hi friend, welcome back

I know its been a whirlwind but excited to get you back up and running this summer! Do you still have one frozen left?

@lmajin99- thinking of you all the time! sending much love and strength!

@JamieH2000 @mbradfo2 looking for more good updates from you!

@BusinessWife I shall hope to be right behind you!! Even through this pain I want to believe I'll be able to move forward!

@c-town18 how are you managing? I thank g-d for my mom right now as I would be accomplishing nothing without her! I'm noticing all the drs I've called, no one will give advice or anything...just send me back to the hospital. I'm not currently dropping dead yay...but apparently living in constant pain is like take a number and wait till its called. Its crazy no one has emergency appointments after you've already been to the ER seeking help. Luckily I have a friend that is related to a neurologist that will see me this week!

AFM: in spoiler ***TW - child mentioned

AFM: I did have a day free of the jolts of pain so i'm just hoping it will end. Last 3 nights I've had an ice pack on my head for hours trying to sleep...so I just hope theres some end in site! Even with a pounding headache I did make it our for the Endosee and of course the regular camera they use wasn’t working and I had to wait much longer then usual to see the dr, of all days....they luckily got the older model working and it was good to go. Textbook perfect uterus so no issue there thank goodness! Which is good but of course makes it more confusing! She’s very surprised and is wondering if the breastfeeding for me had something to do with the transfer not working....cause why wouldn't that be my luck. I endured the pain of my headaches as much as I could but then needed anything I could take to help ease my pain...not my plan for stopping to breastfeed...so now I have a screaming child on top of the madness....of course I'm thankful for my miracle but I wish she would use that whisper!

[Deleted User] · April 2021

@Hopeful_mom ❤️

<div class=" Spoiler">My baby has been fine with the transition... but I still get that ache in my chest sometimes. ((((Hugs))))</div><p>
</p>

andreamm31 · April 2021

@hopeful_mom Im a big believer in things happening for a reason. Maybe your doctor was right that the breastfeeding was preventing a successful transfer (like contracting the uterus or something) and the universe gave you the trigeminal neuralgia to push you to stop the BF so you could be successful on your next transfer? Could you imagine if you were pregnant right now, in that pain, needing CT scans and all types of things that are not allowed when you are pregnant, and medications for pain that are not allowed? I mean, the universe could have chose a path that was a lot less painful, but maybe this was what you needed to get you successful for the next one. And hopefully you and I will be the next batch of success stories. And im hoping you get answers this week from that neurologist. AFM with this pregnancy, I was taking lovenox till I had my SCH at 6 weeks and prednisone till 5 weeks. I honestly don't think I needed the lovenox, but she was pulling out all he stunts for this transfer to see if it would help with implantation.

@c-town18 thanks girl. Im definetly gonna keep rolling that dice. I am also definetly put 2 in next time. Time to get serious and pull out all the tricks.

@jamieh2000 thank you for being there for me, I truly truly appreciate you.

@lmajin99 any word on your amniocentesis. How are you holding up? thinking about you friend.

AFM:

AFM: Ultrasound is tomorrow. Ive had my niece and her mother in town since Friday and have had to pull up my big girl panties and hang out with them and I have to admit, its been a great distraction and helped bring me out of my huge funk. She is coming to college out here in August. I haven't had anymore nausea so Im pretty sure this is the end. We will see. My D&C is scheduled for Thursday.

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@andreamm31- I really hope next time you can stay on the lovenox! I have seen a few posts with ladies who had RPL and did lovenox and were able to carry to term. I think there are some theories that we don’t yet know about all clotting diseases (or diagnose them). My friend with a known clotting disease on had to stay on lovenox the entire pregnancy, despite severe SCH, and was on bed rest from 5-20 weeks. But she made it!! This next transfer just HAS to be your THB!! I’m gonna hope for the least eventful D and C in the history of procedures

Hopeful_mom · April 2021

@andreamm31- ditto to everything @jaimeh2000 said!! For me I suggested to my RE to take baby aspirin throughout my pregnancy which thank gd was successful...I was trying to find anything to add that I didn't have for my twin pregnancy that I lost out of nowhere! I hate that you're going through this but glad you had a bit of a distraction to help get you through the week! And I agree with how its all playing out...as mad and disappointed as I am...Praying this is just a horrible fluke and nothing serious that I can actually try again! Praying we can be the next success for sure! Couldn't ask for a better partner! oddly enough I had an SCH and spotting throughout half my pregnancy that was successful...its just so odd how it all works, more a miracle, but you get my point...especially cause everything was perfect with my twins until all hell broke loose!
And I would be going for 2 as well! Great plan!!

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@c-town18-

Final beta was 1631 so like quadruple in 3 days

first scan is on Tuesday at 5+6. How are you all?!

@hopeful_mom- your RE better just not have wanted to play with a new tool! But it is nice she could look inside without anesthesia in a hysterscopy! I’m glad you are seeing a neurologist this week and I hope you can get some pain relief!!!

Kp214 · April 2021

@Hopeful_mom I hate that you are going through all of this and agree with andreamm31 that maybe this happened for a reason. Hopefully, you’ll be better soon and doing another transfer. We don’t have any more embryos, so it’s back to cycling. Yay...4 years older and numbers are worse. We signed up for 2 mini cycles, which is about the cost of one regular ivf cycle. I’m going to push for EPP since that worked so well last time.

@JamieH2000 wow! That beta is great! I cannot wait until Tuesday. Maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised with a heartbeat.

tangerine32 · April 2021

@andreamm31 The "unexplained" part of this process is so frustrating, isn't it? I know that in 10, 20, 30 years they'll have tests to find out the root cause of these issues, but I wish they existed today! gosh, I am rooting so hard for you.

@Kp214 welcome back! Hoping this summer is more enjoyable for you!

@Hopeful_mom I'm so sorry to read about all your pain. I hope the coming days bring you some relief.

@JamieH2000 Great beta! Hoping you get cooperation for your scan!

AFM I had my second egg retrieval last week. Shockingly, I had seven eggs retrieved and five fertilized successfully! (Last cycle I had no mature eggs so this was a huge improvement.) Now we wait until the next update, which doesn't come until the end of the week. I am trying to keep my emotions in check, knowing that we have several more pivotal days of cell development, let alone testing. But man, I was so dang excited to hear those results. It was the first and only piece of positive news I've heard since ttc and starting on ivf. For all the bad days so far, I let myself enjoy the moment for a little while!

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@andreamm31

for you. Sometimes the best thing is a good distraction. Hopefully all goes smoothly this week and you can get back on the horse ASAP. I know your THB is out there; just taking the scenic route to reach you! Have you ever watched "One More Shot" -- a documentary about a couple going through IVF, egg donor, etc. I love what the husband says towards the end -- we all end up with the baby we're meant to have. That's how I feel about my own journey.

@Hopeful_mom
FX for your next transfer! It'll be the one!

@tangerine32
Awesome news on the retrieval! FX that good news continues

@c-town18
I hope you and the babe are doing well!

Getting nervous about the scan on Friday. I'm trying not get my hopes up too high, but it's hard! I've been keeping busy with household projects (and a bit too much shopping) -- literally last week, they dropped off 2-4 boxes each day of stuff I bought haha. My husband was rolling his eyes by the time the week was over. I have a few more expected this week but I'll try to hold off on any more purchases lol Shopping is definitely therapy for me.

Kp214 · April 2021

@tangerine32 thanks. That’s a great retrieval! I know it’s hard to wait. It feels like it’s one hurdle after another to get through. Fingers crossed you have lots of embryos to send for testing and they come back normal.

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@tangerine32- I love this update!! Celebrate every good step. Will be anxiously awaiting more good news from you!!

@kp214- I remember EPP working so good for you! I really hope it does again. Doing pgs again this time? I hope the process goes quickly and smoothly. Will be here cheering you on!

c-town18 · April 2021

tangerine32 - The big picture was always so daunting, and it always helped me and DH to break it down, take it a day (or appointment) at a time and hope for the best news that we could get each day and try to celebrate that. Sounds like you had a "good news day" with your retrieval results; that certainly calls for some celebration!

andreamm31 · April 2021

@tangerine32 Great retrieval! Praying for those 5!

@mbradfo2 No, I haven't seen that, I will look into it

@JamieH2000 great beta girl! So awesome. Hoping everything measures right on track tomorrow. We talked about the lovenox today and she said that we will do it again to aid in implantation again. But I don't have any real reason to be on it. Same with the prednisone. She said there is no reason to reinvent the wheel since we know this helps with implantation

AFM

Ultrasound confirmed her heart stopped which I was very mentally and emotionally prepared for. So Im really glad I had my D&C scheduled already for Thursday. She really thinks that this is that 60% chance of things working and the 40% chance of things not working. She said there is nothing in my history or tests that show we are missing anything. She said 2 failed FETs is not completely abnormal in what she has seen. She said if I did have NK cells, I wouldn't have had my pregnancy last summer that lasted till 10 weeks... and the prednisone would take care of that this time around. She also said she doesn't think intralipids are right for me...the closest you can get it around here is in Tijuana, Mexico, so there is no way I would do that either. Plus with my allergy history and anaphylaxis, it would be very dangerous to do those. So we will try again when my HCG gets to zero and after I get my period and we will jump right in. Definetly have my heart set on putting 2 in next time because I feel like I will have better shot at one sticking. My hubby is not thrilled about this, but I told him we have to do this. haha

Imajin99 · April 2021

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and messages, just seeing them helped me along the last 2 weeks.
**TW -loss mentioned**

After speaking with the care team at the hospital we decided that too many potential risks and unanswered questions were involved and we did not continue with the pregnancy. I am recovering from the D&E physically and emotionally I still feel raw and in shock.

I will catch up on everyone's posts soon that I have missed but I did want to wish @JamieH2000 the best of luck tomorrow for your scan. Hope it all goes well,

@andreamm31 I was so sorry to see the results of your ultrasound, don't understand how the world can be so cruel to all of us that continue to struggle and all we want is a healthy happy baby to love. It seems like you are in good hands with your RE and praying everything goes well in the next cycle.

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@Imajin99
No words, just hugs

Take it one day at a time. You've been incredibly strong.

@JamieH2000
FX for your scan today!!

@andreamm31
My husband wasn't thrilled when I decided to transfer two either! But I think it was the best choice for us and I'm happy with the outcome! (And if you end up with twins...well, that was meant to be!)

andreamm31 · April 2021

@lmajin99. sending you so much love. My heart goes out to you friend.

tangerine32 · April 2021

@Imajin99 I'm so sorry. Please know you have people thinking of you and praying for you as you heal emotionally and physically.
@andreamm31 I like the two embryo plan! I hope your HCG drops quickly and you can move forward. Will be thinking of you Thursday.

Hopeful_mom · April 2021

@Imajin99 You are amazing and so strong! I'm so sorry you're going through this! Sending you all the love, strength and hugs!

@andreamm31 ugh I'm glad you were prepared for US BUT hate every second of it for you. I don't know why even going in for tests i'm thinking a crazy miracle will happen and they just got it wrong...I guess we just need our brains to play tricks on us, at least mine does. I have to say I really like your RE she definitely makes good points and is quite knowledgeable. I feel like everything I would inquire about regarding immunology land shes pretty much answering, so it really does make sense to keep moving forward! My dream is twins...but a healthy, happy baby is key!!

tangerine32 love seeing some good news, lets keep it going, hoping for another great update! Are you planning on testing? I've always had strange cycles, 5 is great!

@JamieH2000 excited to hear more good news from you!

@mbradfo2 this process is so hard and I'm afraid all my stressing with all the betas did not help this awful headache of mine. You've been doing great staying busy and your numbers have really been so on point I would continue to stay positive and get excited to see your bub

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@lmajin99- your strength is incredible. I so wish we could do more than offer words on the internet. Would give you all the hugs and treats and cry with you in person if we could. Take all the time you need, but we will be here waiting for you for whatever the next steps are.

@andreamm31- I'm sorry there wasn't better news yesterday, but I'm glad you had the foresight to schedule the D&C on Thursday so you can hopefully move on quickly if that is your wish. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I would probably not transfer two PGS normals. I did transfer two in my last pregnancy, but lost one at 7 weeks (they were untested). Had both stuck around though, i likely would have delivered at 28 weeks or earlier, and possibly before viability, due to Pre-E. For some reason, IVF and particularly DE IVF, has an increased risk for Pre-E. I had NO other risk factors (age, weight, blood pressure history was great, etc). Spending a month in the NICU and the potential for long term effects was SO scary. Anyways, I know hind sight is 20/20 and my reco is tainted with my personal experience. But, just thought I would share. And of course will fully support you and whatever you decide to do in the end!!

AFM

Scan today measured right on track for 5+6! Saw the gestational sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole. Its too early by a few days for the HB. I did have some light brown spotting last night, so had to get the rhogam shot since I'm B Neg. But, the scan showed NO SCH yet, which is great. so hopefully just old implantation blood. Now i hold my breath for 7 days and hope to see a HB at the next scan.

Kp214 · April 2021

@andreamm31 Hope you will be able to do a transfer soon. Waiting is so hard. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@Hopeful_mom
I'm really struggling to stay distracted now! I'm starting to feel like that guy in myths who had a sword hanging over his head (Damocles? something like that) --- that feeling like it's going to drop any second. This week is going so slowly but also too fast.

This is the quote that's on my mind today -- it seems particularly apt for those on the IF journey --

“...my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does," - Anne of Green Gables

laurad75 · April 2021

Just popping in to say hello - I'm always checking up on you guys and thinking of you.

@Imajin99 I'm so sorry. What a heartbreaking rollercoaster for you. Please continue to take good care of yourself.
@andreamm31 Your attitude is inspiring but I'm so sorry this cycle ended the way it did. I have high hopes for you and your next cycle.

@mbradfo2 What a beautiful quote. I copied it down.

Hopeful_mom · April 2021

@laurad75 I was just thinking about you the other day, how is everything?

@mbradfo2 - Love your quote - ugh so true!! the wait is so hard but the fact you have been through this process and everything is feeling similar is great esepcially since you know its a girl. The aniexty I had this time around waiting just for the calls really made me sick. I know its easier said then done but try to enjoy the moment that your body is on board and everything that needs to be happening is!! When do you go back?dream

@andreamm31 thinking of you and hoping everything goes smoothly for you tomorrow, sending much healing, hugs, love and strength!

AFM...still a whole lot of I dont know...

AFM: I dont remember where I left off as I always feel i'm just in pain

Made it to a nuerologist and ophthomologist and will be headed for an MRI too. I'm trying to cut down on my excendrin in-take and see how that goes...never had a headache to just last days on end...you go to sleep and wake with the same pain, its just so bizarre. Its great everyone is saying this is just very odd...could just be a really bad headache...gee thanks! The nuerologist does not agree with diagnosis of Trigeminal neuralgia from the ER which I prefer as thats a horror...but what is it...no guesses to share, will keep you posted. I am moving forward with trying for an ERA, and I will add that my lining was amazing like a 10, I was sad I wasn't doing a transfer this cycle.

hopefuljj · April 2021

@Imajin99 dear fried I’m holding you so close in my thoughts. You are so strong. Take the time to heal, I’m so so so sorry.

@andreamm31 I’m so sorry for everything you are going through. I’m glad you already had the DNC set up, I know the feeling of just wanting to move forward and onward. I’m so sorry. Your outlook is wonderful though and I’m glad you and your doctor are feeling positive about the next transfer.

After my experience with pre E, I am with Jamie on her perspective of avoiding multiples. So crazy that donor egg has this heightened risk but it’s got to do with the foreign dna I believe if I am remembering correctly.

I support you with whatever you decide to do obviously!

@hopeful_mom I’m so sorry you are still in so much pain. And wtf that everyone is just saying “this is so odd”....that’s never what you want to hear but I’m thrilled to hear it might not be Trigeminal!!!! Hoping the MRI is helpful in getting a diagnosis/treatment plan.

@JamieH2000!!!!!!!!! Girl!!!!!!! Words can not express how excited I am for you!!!!!!!! What a journey to get here, but you are here!

@tangerine31 awesome retrieval!! Keeping everything crossed for you!!!

@mbradfo2 love me a good Anne of Green Gables quote!! Hang in there lady! Think positive thoughts for you!!! Friday is almost here

@kp214 here to root you on!

@c-town18 hope you are doing well and enjoying baby snuggles!!!

skyee87 · April 2021

Hi all! Joining this thread as I'm officially DOR (maybe I've been since always but just got official word). Going to start on a second cycle in mid-May (giving myself a break until then) after stimming in March/April. So very excited for the success stories and sending much much love to @Imajin99 and @andreamm31.

@tangerine31 I am so excited for your retrieval/fertilization results! In the past cycle, I had egg quality issues (3 out of 5 were mature and only 2 fertilized). Anything you did different this cycle to improve your mature egg numbers? That's a question I have for my RE next week on our appointment to touch base. The nurse indicated they were thinking of sticking with the same protocol, but I'm not sure if I should push for something more aggressive?

Kp214 · April 2021

@mbradfo2 I love that quote. It is so fitting. Thank you for sharing it.

@Hopeful_mom I hate that no one knows what it is and how to cure it. That sounds like it might be a good thing that it’s not trigeminal. Hopefully the scans will show something. For my ERA, the re had to try 4 times to get enough of a sample for it and to check my interims lining for inflammation. Fingers crossed it won’t be so difficult for you.

@hopefuljj thank you!
@skyee87 welcome but sorry that you’re going through this.

andreamm31 · April 2021

@jamieh2000 and @hopefuljj thank you for pointing that out. I did not realize the increased risk of preeclampsia with donor eggs. I just read an article about it and I was honestly a little surprised, its not something I came across in all of my studying up. So thank you so much. I do think Im still gonna put 2 in, and both my OB and my RE are on board with it. I honestly think nobody anticipates 2 sticking with all of my losses. So if it does end up happening, it would be a freaking miracle. I still feel like this my chance of having 1 baby is by putting both in. but luckily, they will be watching me closely for any side effects and knowing my increase risk of preeclampsia, im sure we will all take extra precautions. So appreciate you ladies looking out for me.

@tangerine32 thank you friend

@hopeful_mom yes, happy healthy baby is my goal too. thanks for all the love and hugs. How are you doing with everything? Glad they want to do an MRI, that is definetly smart! And that's awesome you can get your ERA done while you wait. Hopefully that gets you your answers! Hoping the pain goes away soon!

@laurad75. thanks girl! how are you doing!

@skyee87 welcome girl! Thanks for your kind words. those numbers sound pretty good to me for a DOR, so as my RE would say," lets not reinvent the wheel". If something worked for you, I would stick with it. 2 fertilized is pretty good when you are working with severe DOR. Good luck to you!

@Kp214 thanks friend. we are hoping to jump right in 4 weeks later and when my hcg is close to zero.

AFM

Had a very helpful therapy appt yesterday where I pretty much bawled the whole time and realized I am dealing with compounding trauma. Its not just this loss, but the cumulative losses and all the grief Ive suffered through that is making this one feel so exponentially hard right now. I've been having anxiety attacks past few nights and needed my hubbies Ativan (thank god he does really use it and we have plenty of it). So its been rough. Feeling really down and out and pathetic and cursed and all those feelings. My therapist put me out on Disability till May 10th so I have time to grieve and get myself together before having to take care of others.
D&C was today. Doc had me typed and crossed and had blood ready in the OR with me, had them put 2 IVs in (not standard protocol), she also gave me tranexamic acid which helps to stop bleeding and methergine to contract my uterus in OR. Thank god it was very uneventful D&C. She was so traumatized by my last one, that everyone was on high alert. Im glad I could go home, although we brought a "just in case" bag with us. She will test the baby and products of conception. As always, I really love my OB and feel so well taken care of and cared about.

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@skyee87- welcome, sorry you are here, but this board is full of the strongest ladies. I hope your retrieval is amazing.

@kp214- hope you can get started soon

will be here cheering you on!

@hopeful_mom- how is the head today? I’m hoping the ERA goes very smoothly.

@andreamm31- if I was in your situation, I would be very tempted with two as well. I totally get it. And putting in 2 did get me one... unfortunately for pre-e, there is no way to prevent it. The only thing that has been shown to help is taking baby aspirin the whole pregnancy. So even if I get bleeding this time, I’m gonna push to stay on it! Once you get pre-e, the only cure is delivery. I started with it around 28 weeks and was hospitalized at 30 weeks and almost had to deliver. Luckily the magnesium treatment (horrible, as I’m sure you know as a nurse) brought down my BP. We were able to control BP until 33.3 weeks. And then I was given no choice but to induce. Luckily I didn’t develop HELLP, but I was monitored very closely. Anyways, sending you soo much love and strength after yesterday!! I’m so glad it went so smooth. You are one strong lady and I’m so happy you can take some leave from work. Any way you can get a short trip in? I know how natures restores....

c-town18 · April 2021

andreamm31 - Glad everything went smoothly for you! Wow, it sounds like your OB was super-prepared, she sounds amazing. Let us know when you get the results from the POC testing of course. I'm glad you're talking to a therapist, I never was during my worst time of IF and I really should have been. It's just so much to process and so many feelings to work through. How are you and DH doing? I know this infertility trauma can really bring people closer or tear them apart, or a little of both depending on the day.

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@andreamm31
I'm so happy things went smoothly for you. Do you usually take baby aspirin with your protocols? Studies have suggested that regular use of baby aspirin reduces the risk of pre-E.

@skyee87
welcome! You're learn soon that the ladies here are filled with all sorts of advice and info. Have you ever ready "It Starts with an Egg"? Some folks say that the book really helped them to improve egg quality.

@c-town18
Hope you and the littles are doing well!

AFM

First scan -- I pretty much thought I was going to either puke or pass out by the time I got to the office since my stomach was so knotted up with anxiety. I must have looked tense and anxious since the first thing the RE said after he started the scan was -- "I can see the heartbeat!" and that let me relax so he could do the rest of his measurements. Then I got to listen to the heartbeat (132 bpm) and recorded it to show DH later. Next scan is in one week, fx things continue to go smoothly.

[Deleted User] · April 2021

@mbradfo2. PHEW!!!!! Congratulations on a great first scan!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@mbradfo2- yessss!!! Best news!!!! Keep it coming!!

Kp214 · April 2021

@mbradfo2 so happy you had a great scan!!

@JamieH2000 I’m scheduled to cycle in July but am hoping they have a cancellation and get me in sooner. However, I’m alright waiting since I’m taking a ton of supplements and like to think I’m giving them time to work.

@andreamm31 I’m glad you’re speaking with a therapist. That’s good that she’s given you the time to grieve.

tangerine32 · April 2021

I love your quote, @mbradfo2! How appropriate! Congrats on your good scan!

@andreamm31 I'm glad your D&C was uneventful and that you have time on disability. I tangentially went through some non-fertility related trauma a few months ago and it was very helpful to hear a professional affirm to me that it was trauma and that I had a "right" to have a lot of anxiety around it. It helped me process a bit. So in that spirit, I'm so glad you have a therapist who pointed out the same to you. You have been through a LOT! Of course the compounding trauma is difficult. I'm so sorry you're going through it.

Welcome, @skyee87! This is a very supportive group!

For my first cycle, we did a basic protocol of high-dose drugs (300 gonal-f, 3 vials menopur). I think we fried the eggs and a leading follicle was distracting us from smaller follicles. No supplements besides prenatal and vitamin D. Two eggs retrieved, neither were mature.

In my second round, we did mini ivf (but still a lot of drugs! clomid, 150 gonal, 2 vials of menupor that was bumped to 3 about halfway through). I also did omnitrope and added supplements (acai, l'argenine, DHA, CoQ10). My RE ignored the leading follicle and focused on a robust cohort behind it. I just got the call today that we have FOUR that made it to blast! (Seven total eggs retrieved, six mature, five fertilized.) Honestly, I am just stunned. They're going out for chromosomal testing now so fingers are still crossed.

I have no idea which of those changes made the difference and I haven't had a chance to speak with my doctor yet. I have a feeling the supplements are due at least partial credit: I had one no-med cycle between the two rounds in which my follicular phase was 13 days instead of my more usual 10-11, which I assume had to help egg quality.

lucyb1954 · April 2021

Hi everyone!

@skyee87 and @tangerine32 welcome! This is an awesome group of ladies that I absolutely could not live without. @skyee87 for my one cycle where I got 2 high quality blasts I did Vitamin D, CoQ10, and omnitrope. One blast was normal, one was not -- I ended up not using the normal one because I carry a genetic mutation which the blast also had -- even as a carrier, there can be severe implications so we chose not to use it. I also did acupuncture. Some people swear by It Starts With The Egg book - I personally could not implement all the changes she recommends, I would probably go nuts trying and just increase my stress level. But I was eating well, exercising, and limiting sugar. However, subsequent cycles were cancelled due to no or low response. This genetic mutation also impacts my response to medication soooo I kinda got a double doozy of IF crap

However, we moved onto to DE and TW - now have a 7 week old baby girl with us.

@mbradfo2 and @JamieH2000 So so happy for you both, friends!!! Just thrilled that things are going well, and sending my absolute best for continued good news from both of you.

Mentions of losses/PPD/Baby stuff

@andreamm31 I also didn't realize the increased risk of pre-e with DE. They wanted me on baby aspirin for pregnancy but I have an allergy to ibuprofen and they decided it wasn't worth the risk. I didn't have pre-e but did develop high BP at the end of my pregnancy and had to be induced early. Then my BP went crazy after birth...I don't know if that is related but I'm starting to wean off the BP meds, my OB said that the crazy BP just sometimes happens to women after birth. You gotta do what you think is best on this one friend, but it seems like something low risk like aspirin could be helpful. I'm glad the D&C went smoothly at least, I've been thinking about you. IF PTSD is real, and because of many factors in my life, I definitely struggle with feeling cursed/doomed and am working through it with a therapist. IF also raises the risk of PPD/PPA, which I'm struggling a bit with. It's getting better, but it hit me harder than I expected for SURE. Sending my love to you girl, I am so so glad you can take some time to grieve/process/breathe. This is tough stuff

Also, my doc has me on a medication for anxiety called hydroxozine (sp???) that's been helpful. It's not a benzo, it's actually an old school antihistamine and is generally considered safe for pregnancy.
AFM, as I mentioned, still struggling a bit with the PPD/PPA. It's one of those things where I just didn't anticipate that I would struggle so much because I wanted so much to be a mom. But I have to remember that this is nothing to do with being a mom, it's just the shit that happens with hormones and stress and lack of sleep. Then I feel guilty about struggling with it because here I am, just incredibly lucky to have my little wee one home with me. Issues upon issues! However, Millie has finally started gaining weight and it's a huge relief. I didn't realize how stressed I was about it until she started on the right path and then it was like WINNING!
@Imajin99 I already sent you a message, but just reiterating that I'm thinking of you all the time and I'm here for you anytime. I know everyone on this board is sending their love, prayers, good energy, support to you as I am. So much love

andreamm31 · April 2021

@JamieH2000 and @mbradfo2 yes, im on baby aspirin for every pregnancy because of my MTHFR and will be on it till delivery (if I ever get there) and I did read that it can help prevent pre-e too. I haven't thought about a trip with all my appts I have, but maybe I can sneak a weekend away. I do plan on doing a lot of working out and beach days if it's nice. The beach is very healing for me. We are doing a stay cation at the hotel we got married at for my 40th over memorial day weekend, so that will be a good little weekend for us I hope

@c-town18 thanks for asking about DH and I. I feel overall I've pulled away from him, but the past few days I've been feeling closer. Letting him spoon me more whereas before I didn't want to be touched and just want to be alone. Hes trying so hard, but im such a "just want to be alone" type of griever. But im trying to allow him in more. Hes very doting and always trying to do things for me. He's a really good man. The therapist has always been helpful through this process. Been seeing her for 11 years. So she knows me really well. Hubby sees her too which is helpful because when I discuss him, she knows him already.

@mbradfo2 congrats on the great hb!! That's amazing!

@Kp214 thanks friend. I think taking the time to grieve is a good move on my therapists part.

@tangerine32 4!!!!!! Holy cow, how amazing!! Gotta have some normals out of that!! Praying so hard for you. And thank you for your sweet words.

@lucyb1954 as always friend, your love and support on and off this board means the world to me. Whenever I see your texts, it just fills my heart knowing I have you walking by my side. So thank you. And im very mentally prepared that my reality after all this is over may very well be similar to your experience with ppd. I've had many periods of depression in my life that I've always bounced back from, so I think it's inevitable after all this infertility trauma that It could happen. I definetly will be on aspirin for all pregnancies. And hoping I can have a safe healthy pregnancy one day. It's funny you mentioned hydroxyzine, my husband just got that delivered yesterday for his anxiety that his medication manager switched him too. I'm like, this is an antihistamine, hmmmmm. Too funny you are on it too and it's off label for anxiety. I also had a girlfriend with a natural pregnancy who got the crazy high BP postpartum and she felt terrible for months after birth. So I've seen that happen. I hope having a natural super low BP, in 90s helps me stay low. And of course, So happy Millie is gaining weight!! Go baby girl go!!

sfield21 · April 2021

Hi ladies, TW... loss and babies mentioned.

I’ve been following along your board to learn from you all, and I see how strong of a support system it is. I don’t fall into this category but I’m looking for help and you gals are the very best I have. I’m on the March FET board and have been struggling ttc #2. I just had a miscarriage on Thursday and I need the rhogam shot because I’m A-. They are now seeing antibodies in my blood (further tests are being run today and tomorrow so I’ll get more information) but of course I’m thinking what went wrong! We had 2 normal embryos left and one failed to implant and this one miscarried. What is happening.... do I have antibodies in my blood now that is fighting against a babies blood and causing this? Has anyone dealt with Rh negative antibodies?? I’m still learning and trying to research about it but thought I’d ask here. Thank you so much in advance... I know how difficult this whole journey is for all of us. ❤️

[Deleted User] · April 2021

@sfield21 Tagging @JamieH2000

I'm so sorry again for your loss. ❤️ I am Rh negative and have had more rhogam shots than I can count. May I ask, is this your first transfer since giving birth? Or did you lose any other embryos prior to this one? How far along were you this time? The reason I ask, is I personally was surprised to learn after how brief of a pregnancy they will still give the mother rhogam. I'm not sure what the official cut off may be (apart from asking Dr. Google), however

*TW* loss history
<div class=" Spoiler">I was not given rhogam after my CP, but I was given it after a slightly later loss around 6 weeks. I was surprised, but I was also scared and relieved that they were giving it to me at the time, because I had no idea. I learned at the time that the shot was actually protecting any future babies I might carry.</div>
**LC mentioned**
<div class=" Spoiler">My second baby was Coombs positive when she was born, and they had to watch her bili levels closely, but she was totally fine and we were all still discharged pretty quickly.</div>
I hope you get some answers soon... ❤️

Hopeful_mom · April 2021

@skyee87 Hi and welcome, sorry you have to find yourself here but you're with great company! When you say your eggs were imature do you know the sizes of all your follicles when you went for retrieval? Were you thinking you originally were going to get 5 mature? I've had previous cycles where we waited for some of the smaller ones to catch up and then with the shot at the end hoping that would help get them mature and usually I would get one or two extra but never everything that they would see.

@tangerine32 wow 4, that amazing news hoping the good news will keep on coming! Did they say how long you would have to wait? Are you looking to bank or transfer?

@sfield21 I'm so very sorry for your loss, it's awful that this process can be so rewarding and so heartbreaking at the same time! Interesting this didn't happen during your first pregnancy thank goodness! Hope you will be able to get some answers soon!

@Imajin99 constantly in my thoughts and prayers! sending you love and hugs!

lucyb1954 in spoiler

@lucyb1954 Love seeing your updates and wisdom, we put so much pressure on ourselves and really forget that we need care after the baby gets here and forget that part. Our concern is just the baby and you feel like a failure or whatever you want to call it when things are a miss. You may be struggling but you are really winning in every department my friend! Keep it up! Thrilled lil miss Millie is doing well! Enjoy it all!

@andreamm31 TW - Loss mentioned

you truly are an inspiration and are going to be the best mom! I'm so glad to hear you are on leave and can actually take some time for you. So glad the D&C was uneventful which was what I was hoping to see. You really do have an OB on point, love her and so glad you're under her care! You're really smart for seeing a therapist, as mentioned above for so many reasons!! But you point out so many things and I probably should've seen one myself after the loss of my twins but you just want to go go go...glad you're taking the time! sending extra love and hugs your way! Sounds like you also have a pretty strong partner and I'm glad he's someone to lean on and you dont have to go through it all on your own and you're coing around to his support! I'm sure it's tougher with your career choice to not deal with it all internally...but feel the love and support!

@mbradfo2 - psyched with your update, I'm hoping you can relax a lil and get through the week to the next one. The anxiety I just felt through the betas and everything I really think did not help the crazy headaches that followed down the road...your body seems to be on board so try hard to just go with the flow!! Wishing you continued success.

@JamieH2000 anticipating more good news, just so excited for you and of course wishing you continues success as well! Whens the next follow up?

@Kp214 I'm kind of laughing that the universe is bringing us back together to try this again! Do you have to follow up with your clinic or they reach out when something opens? OMG 4x you had to do the ERA, did I read that right? I have another 2 days of suppositories and I can't wait to be done with it for now.

AFM...in spoiler

AFM: Thanks for the good thoughts everyone...its really been something else. Thrilled that I've been able to get some appointments, 2 nuerologists, 1 eye dr and an MRI, that could be a song right HA! In short, no one has an answer as to the WHY and everyone is just trying to rule things out. I'm also trying to ween myself off the excedrin which I manged pretty well today so maybe there is some hope. Day 18 of a constant headache but it has dulled so I'm just hoping it will be gone gone any day now. One dr suggested I should add caffiene back into my diet...considering I cut it out over 7 years ago I dont think my body is having the reaction now. I did try to add a cup in to see if it would make a difference but its all just so odd...And no I don't think the caffiene helped. Will see if the MFI will shed any new light...

Low AMH Level

Re: Low AMH Level

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