Will you have a name decided before the hospital? 100% yes Will everyone know it? family will know..maybe some close friends Will you already have baby gifts emblazoned with a name? possibly a few things...room decor, Christmas stocking...maybe a hooded towel... Will you have a short list to decide when you see baby? nope that gives me anxiety
We already know our girl name and our boy middle name...it will probably take a week or 2 after finding out the sex to decide. Picking out a name early definitely helps me bond with the baby. And I am a super neurotic planner
With DD we had a solid boys name locked down and a short list of girl names! We knew gender and took that short list with us to the hospital to decide after we saw her. I know I am not the type to commit 100% until it’s go time, so my guess is that we will also be taking a short list if this baby is also a girl.
We had a situation where my cousin almost unknowingly used our boy name - it was a close call - but we had already started thinking of a backup, and now we really like that name too, so maybe the boy name isn’t as “locked in” as it used to be. I kind of like seeing the baby and deciding then!
As far as telling people our names, we keep it close to the vest and try only to tell people that we know would be respectful of our choices. At this point there should be no surprises considering we named our daughter Indie, which his very uncommon!
@IdleFancy I don’t think anyone in either of our families would have given the stamp of approval to either of our kids names. but fortunately no one said anything once they were named 😬 technically that’s not true, my mom did eventually tell me she had been shocked and unhappy with my first sons name but once she told a few friends and they liked it, she came around. In addition to knowing him of course. And now no one could imagine them any differently! (they both have that “old man” style name)
and man, it’s going to be HARD naming a third in a coordinating fashion
We’ve been team green all 3 times so DH and I each picked a girl name and a boy name (we both agree on the names) and once the babies were born we decided between the two names. It’s funny because one name seemed to fit better all three times and we both knew which one right away!
We tell no one our name choices. We don’t want or care for anyone’s opinion so we always keep names quiet until we announce it after the birth.
Even if we did decide on a name beforehand I would never have anything monogrammed or personalized. My BIL and SIL and one of my friends both were told the wrong sex during their ultrasounds! My sister-in-law had blankets, a onesie, and bibs personalized with the name Benjamin only for their baby to be a girl! They kept all the stuff thinking they would eventually have a Benjamin, but nope, 3 girls!
We're team green, but we have a few names that are front-runners. We won't share the names either. At SIL's baby shower she announced what names she had picked (she was team green) and it got VERY awkward because no one liked her choices. The "polite silence" said it all. MIL also tells people all the time that she hated my nephew's name at first. Another reason I don't want to share is because I probably won't be able to keep my mouth shut when people give me their opinions. 😆 It will be fun to troll people with fake names. I don't think we'll have anything 100% decided on until we see the baby.
I guess I'm the odd one out...or maybe just super lucky...but I don't think there is anyone is our circle who would ever give a negative opinion about baby names - even if they hated it - they would absolutely say "Oh I love it!" It's so rude to share any opinion other than "that's wonderful" about someone's baby name choice and I don't know anyone who would act that rude to someone's face...maybe it's because we are from the south and overly polite (to people's faces at least...) I'm sorry y'all have to worry about people like that!
My SIL did tell me about a year later that she didn't like DS1's name originally, but that it grew on her and now she loves it -- but again - I would have never known she had that opinion in the moment
@chewie5990 my cousin told me that he had people tell him and his wife straight up not to use certain names. As in, "Oh, I went to high school with a girl named ______ and I hated her, she was the worst! You can't use that name!"
@chewie5990 My own mother told me how much she hated my daughter’s name and even after she was born refused to use it awhile. She tried to make a nickname stick but it failed miserably. After that, we stopped telling anyone our name choices. I will tell my close friends before I tell a family member. My in-laws would never be so rude. My MIL is always so supportive of everything we choose or do. She would never dream of being as rude as my mom.
As for names, we have them picked before the baby is born and then that’s it. It doesn’t change. All of the names we have given our babies fit them perfectly. I already have a girl and boy name picked this time. I already told DH when he was ready to talk about names I would just inform him of what they are. 😆 I’m also big on the meaning of names. So that goes into my choice. One of our sons is named Logan and DH jumped on that name immediately when I mentioned it. Why? Because of Wolverine. 🙄 I swear, that child is a little wolverine and I blame DH for it. So now, he doesn’t get to do that again and I take the meaning of names serious. He keeps telling me Wolverine has a brother and I keep telling him, over my dead body.
Will you have a name decided before the hospital? With DD we had a named picked out, but with being team green this time I can see us having a list of top name.
Will everyone know it? No we will wait until after they are born Will you already have baby gifts emblazoned with a name? With not having official names pick I won't. Will you have a short list to decide when you see baby? Yes
@chewie5990 I'm the same way. I can't imagine saying something directly to another person about what they chose as their child's name. Even if you don't like it...not your kid not your problem.
@Centralmnmom team green would be a challenge for me with twins.... that means you need a minimum of four perfect names!! I love that you’re team green but man, you gotta come PREPARED.
Most people I know wouldn’t say anything if I told them our names but sometimes you can tell anyway. And I think it’s fun to keep it a surprise - but I totally prefer when I know other peoples names in advance 😆
@agea I'm only team green because of DH. Names are going to be difficult. Coming up with 3 names per sex we like and agree on is going to be a challenge.
For all 3 of my kids we've had a name picked out before they were born. Our first sons name we've had picked out since we were like 17. All 3 of them have family names.
For this one (we are TG), our girl name is basically decided (also a family name). There aren't really any male family names left that I love so we've just been looking at names that catch our attention. We never tell anyone our names because we don't care for any opinions on the matter.
I made a hat with my youngest sons name on it (we were TG but accidentally found out and kept it a secret), and it's one of my favourite things so I will be making 2 hats this time.
I’m so impressed with everyone’s ability to keep it a secret!!
DS1 - I announced his name when we found out it was a boy. I think I had a boy/girl name ready fir either way.
DS2 - I knew the first name I wanted before we knew the sex of the baby, but wasn’t sold on a middle name for a couple weeks.
Both kids were fully named at least halfway into the pregnancy and we told people. Even if people don’t like the name, I wouldn’t care anyway 😂 but everyone told us they loved them.
I’m pretty set on a boy and girl name for this baby too. Not sure on middles yet.
We had our boy name all set and now I'm being indecisive about it. I think we're pretty set on girl name now, but I keep coming up with new ideas. I think I'm bad at this.
We're not planning on telling anyone the names until after the kid is born. My sister guessed our boy middle name, because we're using the name of a dear friend of ours who passed suddenly last summer. We both feel that our families would have opinions about whatever names we choose, but probably won't say anything if its already a done deal.
What are your go to websites for searching baby names? I've always really liked Nameberry. I'm really struggling to find boy names this time...I already have 2 boys and it seems impossible to find another we both love.
@nasalot188 we are having the same struggle with a girl name this time. We have 2 girls already so there is so much overlap with any new name we like (eg our oldest is Anna, so a lot of names are too close like anneke, Brianna, etc etc etc)
We've always used family names, so the feedback has been pretty minimal from most people. The only feedback we really get on our son's name is asking what we call him (because it's a name with common nicknames) but we call him his given name (except for my inlaws, who call him by his initials, but I decided to just give up caring about that)
I asked DH what he thought about two options for girl names, and he later asked me to confirm if he had it right...like he was telling people what it was already. I had him pump the breaks and said I wasn't 100% yet...it was just an idea! But it's one I've considered for a while and it honors both of our families, so I think it's pretty set.
@nasalot188 Nameberry is the best site as far as im concerned. Leagues above the rest. that being said, ive been name obsessed since I was a child and I am STUMPED on naming a third boy. it’s hard. Especially if you want to both maintain the same style and love it as much as the others.
We were team green with my first so we went into the hospital set on a girl name and a boy name. My daughters name is Quincy Madge. It was the only girl name we agreed on. Madge was my grandmothers middle name. We told people ahead of time our names we had picked out. I was kinda surprised a few weren't a fan of Quincy. I don't think we will tell anyone this time.
I'm also not so sure on the boy name we had, Cade. When we picked it out I had only seen it once before and now I know a few Cade's.
Do you ever feel like if your SO turns down a name you kinda like you end up liking it that much more and try to convince them of it?
I saw June today and thought that was pretty for a girl. MH said no because the baby is due in September. I was dumbfounded! Like we’re not going to name her September! So apparently you can only name a girl born in April, April, or a baby born in June, June. Now it makes me want to convince him of it even more.
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@krash_ I suggested Isaac to my husband early on in my last pregnancy and my husband shot it down immediately. At around 7-8 month he suggested it as if it had never been brought up before. Although he wanted to spell it Aizak, which I firmly discouraged.
@krash_ yes! I really like the names Chloe or Grace for a girl. I've been thinking about those names for a while too. Brought it up to my husband last night and he immediately shot both down. Now I can't think of any other girl names that I like except those two.
@chewie5990 Obviously I:m a little bias, but Isaac is an excellent name. The other name we had that we both agreed on was Zachary, but now that we already have an Isaac it seems too similar.
We have the opposite problem. I have shot down pretty much all the names DH had suggested. The biggest problem is he's suggesting names that are the same as some of our cousins and I have told him many times I don't want to do that. But he gets all defensive and says fine that I should just pick a name since I don't like any of his....ugh! And with not knowing the sex of the babies we have to come up with so many options 🙄
@deziraywatt@nasalot188@chewie5990 DH shoots down my names Every. Single. Pregnancy. and NEVER, not ONCE, has suggested one name besides Grace for any of these team green pregnancies (which would be a middle name). I said no to it for DD as the girl first name we agreed on meant "grace" anyway. I'm already so frustrated with him this pregnancy. He doesn't like "weird" or "made up" names. Fine. I've already spent hours this pregnancy coming up with a list of boy names (what a relief we already have a girl name from last pregnancy) that are probably all from the top 100. He shot down all of them but Jack (which I could do as a nickname or middle name, but not as a first name) because he doesn't feel like they're the One. He refuses to ever do research or make a list because he thinks the name will come to him. I pointed out that all the names we've agreed on in the past were names that I actually said to him, they didn't "come to him". He still refuses to budge. Argh! Here's my list to make me feel better, lol: James Benjamin Elliot Joseph Jesse Jack Isaac Matthew Jude Levi Josiah Eli Isaiah Samuel
DD and DS have Bible names so I wanted to stick to the theme, but at this point we are doomed if we don't have a girl.
@sleepydaze oh i feel your pain girl! FWIW i love all the names on your list. Jack is my second boy's middle name, I totally would have used it for a first but DH said too popular. Jude is on my list as well but DH turned it down...men are hard
@nasalot188 Jack is a great name but I cannot even count on both hands how many Jacks I know in DS1’s age group. So many Jacks. Also so many Sophies/Sophias. Popularity doesn’t bother everyone so might not be a deal breaker for most.
@agea yep, he said no to the whole list (except Jack)! (There was another 5 more but I can't remember them lol). Popularity definitely bothers me since I'm a substitute teacher, so while I love love love Sophia, I can't bring myself to name my own kid that. I do like Jack, but there are so many Jacksons etc that I think it's too popular as well, plus for me it feels more like a nickname than a first name.
@runningoncookies thanks for the suggestion, I just know too many John's!
I'm so pumped, tonight DH finally admitted he really likes the name Joseph! It's a family name on both sides and I've loved it since I was a teen! Here's hoping he doesn't change his mind.
So, my SIL is also expecting (due in April) and is team green. She's pretty sure she's having a boy, but when I asked my mom what she thought of our top girl name, she told me SIL is considering that for their girl.
I don't want to say anything and have it come across as petty. This is their 12th kid (so obviously, name generating is getting hard!) but also, this would be our first living girl, so name generating is hard for us too.
The name we have picked out is DH's grandmother's name. DH's birth mother was never in his life, so for family names, we have half as many to choose from.
I wouldn't think it was a big deal of cousin's sharing a name, except their also so close in age.
Would you say anything?
I'm not usually one to call "dibs" or feel entitled to something like a name, but also I feel like we've already "lost" two sets of girl names to the babies that we've lost. I don't know that my brother and SIL have any personal tie to the name other than liking how it sounds. I wonder if they'd care if I mentioned it's DH's grandmother's name?
I don't know whether to say something ASAP to get it out there and try to avoid hurt feelings, or just cross my fingers for the next month that her kid is a boy and we don't have to worry about it.
@marymh80 my rule of thumb is, whoever had the baby first gets first dibs on name. However, i would say you might be in a special circumstance because of past losses. It’s hard to say, and I would say it would depend on what your relationship is with your SIL. Would she be understanding of your situation (I hope??) or would she potentially get offended?
@marymh80 I agree with what @muggsd says. However, even if they share a name, it might not be such a big deal. One of my cousins named his son a very popular Irish name, and a few month later another cousin of his chose the same name for her son. It wasn't a huge deal and there was no drama over it.
Re: Baby Names!
Will you have a name decided before the hospital? 100% yes
Will everyone know it? family will know..maybe some close friends
Will you already have baby gifts emblazoned with a name? possibly a few things...room decor, Christmas stocking...maybe a hooded towel...
Will you have a short list to decide when you see baby? nope that gives me anxiety
We already know our girl name and our boy middle name...it will probably take a week or 2 after finding out the sex to decide. Picking out a name early definitely helps me bond with the baby. And I am a super neurotic planner
but fortunately no one said anything once they were named 😬
technically that’s not true, my mom did eventually tell me she had been shocked and unhappy with my first sons name but once she told a few friends and they liked it, she came around. In addition to knowing him of course. And now no one could imagine them any differently!
(they both have that “old man” style name)
and man, it’s going to be HARD naming a third in a coordinating fashion
We tell no one our name choices. We don’t want or care for anyone’s opinion so we always keep names quiet until we announce it after the birth.
Even if we did decide on a name beforehand I would never have anything monogrammed or personalized. My BIL and SIL and one of my friends both were told the wrong sex during their ultrasounds! My sister-in-law had blankets, a onesie, and bibs personalized with the name Benjamin only for their baby to be a girl! They kept all the stuff thinking they would eventually have a Benjamin, but nope, 3 girls!
I don't think we'll have anything 100% decided on until we see the baby.
My SIL did tell me about a year later that she didn't like DS1's name originally, but that it grew on her and now she loves it -- but again - I would have never known she had that opinion in the moment
Will everyone know it? No we will wait until after they are born
Will you already have baby gifts emblazoned with a name? With not having official names pick I won't.
Will you have a short list to decide when you see baby? Yes
@chewie5990 I'm the same way. I can't imagine saying something directly to another person about what they chose as their child's name. Even if you don't like it...not your kid not your problem.
I love that you’re team green but man, you gotta come PREPARED.
Most people I know wouldn’t say anything if I told them our names but sometimes you can tell anyway. And I think it’s fun to keep it a surprise - but I totally prefer when I know other peoples names in advance 😆
For this one (we are TG), our girl name is basically decided (also a family name). There aren't really any male family names left that I love so we've just been looking at names that catch our attention. We never tell anyone our names because we don't care for any opinions on the matter.
I made a hat with my youngest sons name on it (we were TG but accidentally found out and kept it a secret), and it's one of my favourite things so I will be making 2 hats this time.
DS2 - I knew the first name I wanted before we knew the sex of the baby, but wasn’t sold on a middle name for a couple weeks.
I’m pretty set on a boy and girl name for this baby too. Not sure on middles yet.
We're not planning on telling anyone the names until after the kid is born. My sister guessed our boy middle name, because we're using the name of a dear friend of ours who passed suddenly last summer. We both feel that our families would have opinions about whatever names we choose, but probably won't say anything if its already a done deal.
I asked DH what he thought about two options for girl names, and he later asked me to confirm if he had it right...like he was telling people what it was already. I had him pump the breaks and said I wasn't 100% yet...it was just an idea! But it's one I've considered for a while and it honors both of our families, so I think it's pretty set.
that being said, ive been name obsessed since I was a child and I am STUMPED on naming a third boy.
it’s hard. Especially if you want to both maintain the same style and love it as much as the others.
I'm also not so sure on the boy name we had, Cade. When we picked it out I had only seen it once before and now I know a few Cade's.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
and he sent me a shitty list of names I don’t want.
Here's my list to make me feel better, lol:
James
Benjamin
Elliot
Joseph
Jesse
Jack
Isaac
Matthew
Jude
Levi
Josiah
Eli
Isaiah
Samuel
DD and DS have Bible names so I wanted to stick to the theme, but at this point we are doomed if we don't have a girl.
Popularity doesn’t bother everyone so might not be a deal breaker for most.
(edited for a mis-tag)
I'm so pumped, tonight DH finally admitted he really likes the name Joseph! It's a family name on both sides and I've loved it since I was a teen! Here's hoping he doesn't change his mind.
I don't want to say anything and have it come across as petty. This is their 12th kid (so obviously, name generating is getting hard!) but also, this would be our first living girl, so name generating is hard for us too.
The name we have picked out is DH's grandmother's name. DH's birth mother was never in his life, so for family names, we have half as many to choose from.
I wouldn't think it was a big deal of cousin's sharing a name, except their also so close in age.
Would you say anything?
I'm not usually one to call "dibs" or feel entitled to something like a name, but also I feel like we've already "lost" two sets of girl names to the babies that we've lost. I don't know that my brother and SIL have any personal tie to the name other than liking how it sounds. I wonder if they'd care if I mentioned it's DH's grandmother's name?
I don't know whether to say something ASAP to get it out there and try to avoid hurt feelings, or just cross my fingers for the next month that her kid is a boy and we don't have to worry about it.
Good luck!