Does anyone have any words of wisdom about sleep regressions? DD turns 1 next week and has suddenly started having major struggles at bedtime. She dropped her PM naps this weekend (stood in her crib and cried for 20min until I gave up) but did take her regular 2 naps at daycare today. For the past few nights, she's cried for longer and longer before finally falling asleep. She's always been great at self-soothing before, but now it seems like she's having major nighttime separation anxiety. Any tips on how to get her through this, or experiences with how long this patch lasts?
@luckypenny11 honestly we always just had to ride out each sleep regression. There will still be plenty more where they’ll randomly refuse to sleep or wake up and just cry and cry but I swear as quickly as they come they end. I always have it about 2 weeks. Obviously everyone has different opinions on letting children cry. We just tried to comfort and allow them to fuss a little and ride it out. My youngest is 3 and is currently having sleep issues and our 4 year old has been waking us up in the middle of the night again lately. Hang in there.
@luckypenny11 I'm a big fan of sleep training. I had to so I could function in the morning for work. We've had our share of rough patches but I've always held strong in letting my son figure it out. Hence the video monitor. Unless it was vomit or some other emergency I've always left him be. He's old enough now (4.5) that we can talk about it before bed and in the morning if need be. I'm very strict with it.
@hham10 I have no experience as a parent yet but, I have very clear memories of waking up in the middle of the night as a young child and deciding I would just wail for a while until my mom Would come get in my bed and cuddle. Sometimes it was because I wet the bed but mostly I just wanted a cuddle. Sorry mom
@luckypenny11 Could she be teething? We didn't have trouble with the first several teeth but getting the first set of molars was ROUGH. From about 11.5-12.5 months was the worst sleep of my baby's life (including newborn days). We were all dying. Then all four molars cut within a couple of days and sleep was instantly better again.
@autumn87654321 😂 yes my daughter comes in for every random thing...her water tastes bad, she need tucked back in, her sheet feels weird lol. We’re getting payback!
thank you so much for the advice ladies I don't think it's teething but I'll definitely take another feel tonight - definitely makes sense that cutting molars would make it tough to sleep. I was able to tough it out with noise-cancelling headphones and she slept fine for the rest of the night once she made it through the initial crying. I'm glad to hear it typically only lasts 2 weeks!
So - I saw this mentioned in another thread - do we need to already start thinking about daycares? I’m not sure if I want to do daycare or a nanny, but would need either option to start next April when I have to return to work. Should we start looking now? It feels too early...
@shelmcclel In my opinion it's definitely not too early. I let our daycare know when I needed a spot for this baby after my second ultrasound. The director knew I was pregnant before work or a lot of my friends haha.
Depending on where you are and the ratios the state mandates, spots can fill up fast. I would recommend calling a few places to see if they have waitlists. I took a quick look back at my calendar from 2016 when I was pregnant and due on 12/11. I took the day off on 8/15 and visited several daycares. For a nanny you can probably wait longer.
@karmba That's a good point about letting daycare know about the second kid! We're just sending DD back starting next week, I should probably give them a heads up about #2 coming next spring.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@shelmcclel - I would start looking now, for sure. The area I live in is very competitive for childcare, and we were wait-listed with DD#1 despite starting our search at ~10 weeks. Thankfully everything worked out by the time we actually needed coverage. This time, I told daycare we would need a slot for next year even before I told my parents I was pregnant
@gingkomama - I couldn't feel any molars but I tried a dose of Tylenol last night because she was so cranky and not herself. Worked like a charm! Only a minute of fussing and then she passed out like a rag doll. Phew! Thank you again to all of you awesome mamas for the tips
Piggy backing off of @shelmcclel's question - What questions should I be asking daycares and specifically questions for infant care? We have a video tour/interview with one this afternoon that has an infant spot available in March!
@feather_heather I would want to know if there were cameras that I could log in and view anytime. That's the only way I would be comfortable with a child who could not communicate or advocate for them self. Also, schedules. Will they follow what you want or do they have their own? Health and safety re: COVID. Are the employees all required to have a flu shot? What certifications/degrees do they hold? Cleaning schedules, do the babies ever go outside or are they indoors all day? Things like that.
@feather_heather I second all of what @willashbaby said. One big factor for me was/is how do they feed baby- will they feed on demand or a schedule? I only wanted on demand. Some places insist on every so many hours. Also, ask them how they handle breast milk if you plan on pumping, storage, re heating, defrosting etc. Ask what they do BEFORE saying what you want..... In the end for me it was getting a feel for the place and feeling like baby would be safe.
I’m still cooking the first baby, but we asked around amongst our local friends with daycare aged kids. There’s a center that our company works with directly to offer lower cost care for employees, and it’s only a few minutes away from where DH and I both work at the resort (the entire resort is the size of the island of Manhattan). We’re most likely going to go with them if they have space available for when I go back.
We actually still haven’t told our daycare where 2 of our kids go to because I assume they’ll only allow us in if they have an opening at that time. We won’t need it until April but wish we could secure our spot now!
@hham10 Do you know if they do a waiting list? I know for ours when the director plans out how many spots they'll have in each room way ahead of time so if she knows we need to start another kid a certain month, we're at the top of her list for an opening.
So we are #46 on a waitlist at our 2nd choice, and might be able to get in sometime next year. Our top choice told us not to expect to get in until we could be in a toddler class (Summer 2022) but we’ll also wait list there for toddler-hood bc it’s a feeder into the Pre-K schools we think we want (but will re-evaluate as we get to know our daughter). I never thought it would become this competitive this early! I’m so shocked, but I guess I shouldn’t be.
on questions to ask - some friends also mentioned asking about their vaccination requirements (do they let any kids skip this?) and also asking about their teacher turnover & if it’s high how they address integrating new teachers with the kids.
@shelmcclel vaccination stuff can be state by state, in NY you have to be vaccinated on schedule to go to a daycare center. There's no flexibility on that unless it's a legit medical exemption. They don't even allow religious exemptions anymore.
@feather_heather Something this I would ask is what they do if baby cries and at what point will the to notify you if baby is really upset. It's not something I asked beforehand last time, and it ended up being a deal breaker for me that they let baby "learn to self-soothe" = they left baby to cry. It was horrible trying to navigate that and pick a new daycare when we then needed a spot immediately to get out of that daycare.
So we really liked the daycare yesterday, the lady was super nice, it's 10 mins from our house, they have been open for 31 years,and the infant teacher has been there for over 20 years! I posted in my local town's facebook group to ask for testimonials and have only heard glowing reviews! The only downside - it's $1,200 to hold the spot for March and there are 6 other people on the waitlist, so we feel like we need to jump on it today! Is daycare kind of like buying a wedding dress - once you find one you just have to stop looking because you'll probably find one you like more and it's too late? I'm stressed!
@feather_heather is the deposit non-refundable? I wouldn't be comfortable paying something that high if it was. When I've looked for daycares I found deposits varied widely. One place wanted $50, one place wanted a week tuition, one place wanted me to start paying half price ASAP to hold the spot until I needed it. Can you ask in your FB group what others have payed for deposits? And for me, I stopped looking when I put a deposit down - no need for added stress.
@karmba - The $1200 is non-refundable, but it includes a $200 registration fee and first and last week's tuition. The places around here require $50-$100 just to put your name on a waitlist!
@feather_heather - my daycare has a similar deposit requirement ($1335), and it is fully refundable as long as you cancel 4+ weeks before your start date. The deposit covers the first 2 weeks of tuition and the last 2 weeks when you finish your time there. It seems like a fair policy to me, especially in an area that is highly competitive for childcare.
It does come in a swivel-glider-recliner option as well, but I don't really like the recliner (seems like it'll be way too hard to get out of with a baby in my arms). And at almost $450 more than the rocker version, I'm not sure if getting it just for the glider is worth the extra money.
@feather_heather I think you'd be fine with a rocker. The only downside would be that the ottoman is stationary. I have short legs and the gliding ottoman I have was a really nice perk. If you don't think that will bother you - I say go for it.
@feather_heather I do not have a glider but I do have a rocker that reclines, and I think the reclining option is fantastic. So many times baby (or toddler!) would fall asleep nursing and I could just recline and relax or read without having to wake baby. I have a LaZBoy (?).
@gingkomama same here! I have a rocking recliner from lazboy, I've had it for 5 years, got it when I was pregnant with #1. It saved me at the end of pregnancy when I would crank it up and nap in it all the time. We ended up having our living room set from lazboy too and it all matches. The recliner is in the living room!
Did anyone do anything special to introduce their dog to baby/ prepare their dog for baby? My little guy is only 16months old and still very puppy ish lol he is good with basic commands and the only things I’m worried about is he likes to give kisses (and I don’t want him licking the baby excessively or jumping on him to give a kiss) and he barks when people walk by (to which I spray him every time he barks and he is starting to stop!) and lastly he is my first baby so I’m worried he will be jealous when the baby comes and he doesn’t get all my attention!
@tryingktogku good question. We have a very lazy 6 yo pitbull and a Very hyper barky 3yo heeler mix I think they’ll be ok with the babe. My heeler is crazy but smart and knows what not to mess with so hopefully she’ll understand that about the baby 🤞🏼
@tryingktogku We let our dog smell the baby's things beforehandabeforehand we sent home a receiving blanket that our baby was wrapped in while we were still in the hospital (our dog still sleeps with it in his bed). Our dog was very excited to meet the baby, and sometimes licked the baby (especially after spitup) but that didn't really bother me. He mostly ignored the baby until 8-9 months when food started getting dropped on the ground. He still sits under our toddler at mealtimes 😂
@tryingktogku I have a Cavalier so they're generally easy to train. I had all of the baby stuff out before hand so he could get used to it and also know it didn't belong to "him", same with the cats. I did NOT let them sit on/in any of his stuff. When the baby came home I let them investigate him when I was holding him and made it very clear to them that he was above them in the pecking order. I did not let the dog lick him much beyond a toe lick (and good thing since my Son is actually allergic to animal saliva/dander which we learned after hives from one cheek lick). Other than that the rest of the training was so my Son would respect the animals and not be inappropriate with them. To this day he is BFFs with one of the cats.
Re: Ask a BTDT Mom
Depending on where you are and the ratios the state mandates, spots can fill up fast. I would recommend calling a few places to see if they have waitlists. I took a quick look back at my calendar from 2016 when I was pregnant and due on 12/11. I took the day off on 8/15 and visited several daycares. For a nanny you can probably wait longer.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
on questions to ask - some friends also mentioned asking about their vaccination requirements (do they let any kids skip this?) and also asking about their teacher turnover & if it’s high how they address integrating new teachers with the kids.
@shelmcclel We have a sitter instead of a center, and I love it SO much more. If you have any questions about that route, I am happy to answer them.
It does come in a swivel-glider-recliner option as well, but I don't really like the recliner (seems like it'll be way too hard to get out of with a baby in my arms). And at almost $450 more than the rocker version, I'm not sure if getting it just for the glider is worth the extra money.
good question. We have a very lazy 6 yo pitbull and a Very hyper barky 3yo heeler mix
I think they’ll be ok with the babe. My heeler is crazy but smart and knows what not to mess with so hopefully she’ll understand that about the baby 🤞🏼
@gingkomama yeah I suppose a little help cleaning up spit up wouldn’t be the worst thing lol