@emeraldduchess totally understand giving your body a break and not wanting to take it unmonitored! Ironically, this was supposed to be our first monitored cycle with starting IUI...so this is basically normal for me. Hope we can all get started back with our treatment cycles if all the NTNP/natural trying around here doesn’t work for all of us!
@the_road_to_oz I’m so sorry for the conflicting feelings! I hope that dip had a totally different meaning and AF is not on her way! Ugh, yes I hate the just relax and don’t think about it thing...but I’m still hoping that somehow works for all of us! Haha.
@feather_heather I’m so glad your transfer went well, even though it sounds like it was a very different experience! Everything possible crossed for you, friend!
@pom9207 I’m so sorry you are having to deal with immigration issues on top of everything else! I hope all goes well with that and your summer ends up being busy but wonderful!
@keikilove thank you sweet friend. @feather_heather sending you big hugs and all the luck I can muster for a sticky embie.
AFM, so sorry I've been MIA all week. Turns out WFH is busier than a regular workday because of how many hoops I have to jump through to do a simple task that would normally only take a few mins. Plus it means my workday doesn't really have an official start/end because we want to be available to clients when they need us. In any case, it has been good to keep my mind off things. I went for my beta yesterday morning but I already knew what the result would be. I POAS on Tuesday at 8dp5dt and the FRER was a BFN so the blood test just confirmed it.
Honestly, we're sad to have lost one of our embabies but we kind of expected this. I had a lot of bleeding and spotting before and after the transfer. I just don't have faith in my body to do what it's supposed to do, and that part is harder to swallow than the BFN itself. The lack of trust feels like the ultimate betrayal, that my body is working against me. That's the part I'm struggling with the most. That, and the little defeated sigh my dad let out when I had to tell him it didn't work. I chose to text everyone else after that (he just caught me off guard on the phone). Whether we like it or not, we are back in limbo like all our fellow IF warriors until things go back to normal. I'll pop in when I can to check in, but I think we'll use this break to just lean into each other and appreciate the physical space this pandemic has given us away from the rest of the world at a time when we need it most.
Love to you all.
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
oh @kiki047 I'm so sorry Your message - especially the last sentence - really hit me right in the feels. take care of yourself.
As my therapist said on Tuesday, feel your feels for as long as you need to!
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
@kiki047 I’m so sorry, friend!! Sending you all the love & hugs!! 💜 It sucks so bad to feel like your body is fighting against you! Yes, lean into each other and know that we are here for you when you are ready to jump back in!
@kiki047 I’m so sorry. I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m sending you & YH tight warm hugs across the ocean. Please do take all the time & space you need. I will be thinking of you & praying for your heart.♥️
Oh @kiki047 ❤️❤️ I’m so so sorry friend. sending you a lot of love. Take all of the time you need, we are here for you no matter how much you want to post or no matter how much time you need. I’ll be thinking about you!
@kiki047 So sorry friend Take all the time you need and know that we are here for you. Sending you hugs!
Me: 35 DH: 35 TTC since 9/2018
Dx: MFI 10/19- First RE visit 2/20- DH had surgery for bilateral varicoceles 7/20- IUI with 5 mg letrozole- BFN 9/20- IVF. 9 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized with ICSI, 7 blasts, 4 PGT-A normal 11/20- Mock transfer/ERA 12/20- FET #1- transferred one 4AB- BFN 3/21- FET #2- transferred one 3AB- BFP! Due Dec 2021 12/21- Baby girl born!
On the good news side, I asked DH if we should keep trying or let this virus pass - and he got upset. He is all in to keep trying, and had answers to all of the "worst case" scenarios I threw at him. He also had a list of fertility supplements ... He'd like - read medical journals on the safety and efficacy, and had a list of suggestions. I looked up everything, and it doesn't look like any of those things will HURT me, so what the hell right?
@the_road_to_oz so sorry about the BFN. From a healthcare worker with experience in obstetrics I know that they are not telling couples to stop trying but are re scheduling most assistive reproductive technology at this point! Trying some new things may help increase your optimism! What does DH want you to do differently?
@the_road_to_oz and @kiki047 I am so sorry for those negatives. My heart is breaking, for both of you. And sadly for me too. I tested this morning and unfortunately ours failed as well. I have a lot of feelings right now. Lots of anger and lots of sadness. I’ll be taking some time before I am able to come back and participate here, but please know that I am sending positive vibes to each and every one of you!
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
@the_road_to_oz so sorry for the BFN! Here’s to hoping the extra supplements will do the trick!! 🤞🏻
@nitnat007 so sorry, friend!! Sending all the love & hugs your way!! 💜 Take all the time you need and know that we are here for you when you are ready!!
@nitnat007 I am so so sorry, friend. This is so disappointing, if not downright devastating. I will continue to think of you and send you positive support. Prayers sent up for you & YH as you go through this.
I have so much to catch up on! back later for tagss!
Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOSish
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Medicated TI, further treatments on hold until further notice (Thanks COVID)
How are things going?: Hi friends! Sorry I have been MIA, life has been so crazy! Work has been insane, and I am exhausted. They have designated my unit the "COVID unit", awesome I know and we now have all of these people coming from NY to deliver, with is frustrating, and stressful. As I am sure you all know, protective gear is seriously lacking, so that has been interesting as well. DH is also working like crazy, luckily there is no one in the prison exhibiting any symptoms, yet anyway. Just trying to go one day at a time.
Any questions?: nope
GTKY: Since I think we're all looking for recommendations, what is the best show you've streamed lately? Bonus points if the series has a lot of episodes! I recently watched West World on HBO, it is surprisingly good. Ozark season 3 is out! I can not wait until my days off this week to binge! I tried to watch that tiger show, mostly because I want to see the part with the lady who allegedly fed her husband to them, but I couldn't get past the first episode.
May Siggy Challenge: It's Gonna be N*SYNC!
TTC #1: 1/2019 Dx: 1/2020 Borderline PCOS Rx: Femara &Trigger with IUI IUI#1 2/26/2020- BETA 3/11 (AF arrived 3/11) 3/20/2020- Benched due to COVID-19
Re: IF Testing & Treatment w/o 3/23
@feather_heather sending you big hugs and all the luck I can muster for a sticky embie.
AFM, so sorry I've been MIA all week. Turns out WFH is busier than a regular workday because of how many hoops I have to jump through to do a simple task that would normally only take a few mins. Plus it means my workday doesn't really have an official start/end because we want to be available to clients when they need us. In any case, it has been good to keep my mind off things. I went for my beta yesterday morning but I already knew what the result would be. I POAS on Tuesday at 8dp5dt and the FRER was a BFN so the blood test just confirmed it.
Honestly, we're sad to have lost one of our embabies but we kind of expected this. I had a lot of bleeding and spotting before and after the transfer. I just don't have faith in my body to do what it's supposed to do, and that part is harder to swallow than the BFN itself. The lack of trust feels like the ultimate betrayal, that my body is working against me. That's the part I'm struggling with the most. That, and the little defeated sigh my dad let out when I had to tell him it didn't work. I chose to text everyone else after that (he just caught me off guard on the phone). Whether we like it or not, we are back in limbo like all our fellow IF warriors until things go back to normal. I'll pop in when I can to check in, but I think we'll use this break to just lean into each other and appreciate the physical space this pandemic has given us away from the rest of the world at a time when we need it most.
Love to you all.
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
Aug '19: Letrozole + HCG trigger + IUI + prog supp - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Sep '19: 2nd IUI, same protocol - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Dec '19: IVF #1 w/ICSI, PGT. 5 retrieved, 4 fertilized, 3 blasts, 3 PGT-A normal.
Mar '20: FET #1, perfect 5AA blast transferred. BFN.
Sept '20: FET #2, 5BB tsf. 9/18/20 BFP!! EDD: 5/27/21. MMC 11w
Feb ‘21: FET #3, last 6BB blast transferred. BFP, EDD 11/2/21. MC 5w3d.
May '21: IVF #2 w/ICSI, PGT. 8R, 7M, 6F, 6 blasts - 3AB, 3AB, 3BB, 4BB, 5BB, 6BA. Fresh tsf 5/13/21 - BFN.
June '21: PGT-A results = 3 abnormal, 1 low level mosaic. Referred to new REI, had consult with 2nd RE in between.
Sept '21: RPL, immune testing normal
Oct '21: IVF #3 w/IMSI, PGT. 33R, 26M, 23F, 9 blasts (7 day 6, 2 day 7). PGT-A = 5 normal, 1 mosaic
Dec '21: Positive for endometritis, RX Flagyl & Keflex
Jan '22: FET #5 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol incl. PRP, intralipids, prednisone, medrol, nivestym, fragmin - CP
Feb '22: FET #6 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol w/higher doses of pred & fragmin - BFN
Mar '22: Mock cycle for ERA - cancelled, repeat endometrial biopsy instead. Still positive for endometritis. RX ciprofloxacin & amoxicillin.
Apr '22: IVF #4 w/IMSI, PGT. 28R, 23M, 16F, 11 blasts. PGT-A = 6 normal.
June '22: FET #7 - Microdose lupron downreg w/kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol - double embryo transfer. BFN.
July '22: FET #8 - Mini stim w/Puregon + trigger, kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol. BFN.
Sep '22: Taking a break
Dec '22: Attempted abdominal myomectomy, fibroid too close to cervix and major blood vessels. Wasn't removed.
Feb '23: FET #9 - Modified natural w/baby asp, HCG trigger, PIO, PRP, Medrol, HCG wash, embryo glue - BFP!! EDD 11/11/23
As my therapist said on Tuesday, feel your feels for as long as you need to!
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
TTC since 9/2018
10/19- First RE visit
2/20- DH had surgery for bilateral varicoceles
7/20- IUI with 5 mg letrozole- BFN
9/20- IVF. 9 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized with ICSI, 7 blasts, 4 PGT-A normal
11/20- Mock transfer/ERA
12/20- FET #1- transferred one 4AB- BFN
3/21- FET #2- transferred one 3AB- BFP! Due Dec 2021
12/21- Baby girl born!
@kiki047 I'm so very sorry. I'm at a lack for words but sending you so much love my friend
BFN here too.
On the good news side, I asked DH if we should keep trying or let this virus pass - and he got upset. He is all in to keep trying, and had answers to all of the "worst case" scenarios I threw at him. He also had a list of fertility supplements ... He'd like - read medical journals on the safety and efficacy, and had a list of suggestions.
I looked up everything, and it doesn't look like any of those things will HURT me, so what the hell right?
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOSish
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Medicated TI, further treatments on hold until further notice (Thanks COVID)
How are things going?: Hi friends! Sorry I have been MIA, life has been so crazy! Work has been insane, and I am exhausted. They have designated my unit the "COVID unit", awesome I know
Any questions?: nope
GTKY: Since I think we're all looking for recommendations, what is the best show you've streamed lately? Bonus points if the series has a lot of episodes!
I recently watched West World on HBO, it is surprisingly good. Ozark season 3 is out! I can not wait until my days off this week to binge! I tried to watch that tiger show, mostly because I want to see the part with the lady who allegedly fed her husband to them, but I couldn't get past the first episode.
Dx: 1/2020 Borderline PCOS
Rx: Femara &Trigger with IUI
IUI#1 2/26/2020- BETA 3/11 (AF arrived 3/11)
3/20/2020- Benched due to COVID-19