Had a meeting at Starbucks after work today. I had already had a coffee and a green tea earlier in the day so I got one of those spindrift seltzer cans. The cashier was ringing me up and asked “do you miss coffee?” I was like huh? And then I realized he meant because I was pregnant. I was like “oh no I still drink coffee, just already had too much today!” He looked shocked and was like “you DO?? That baby is going to be wired!” I was like ha... yeah... ok weird Starbucks kid (looked young to me but I feel like everyone under the age of 30 looks going to me now lol).
This isn't really anyone saying anything, but I have a couple coworkers who if I see them in passing (because we don't work closely together) don't even bother to look me in the eyes and just go straight to my stomach instead. This happened last pregnancy too, and it makes me rage every time it happens. This must be what it feels like to have big boobs and have people stare at your chest instead of eyes. I'm unfamiliar with that (tiny boobs here), but I think this is the next closest thing.
@stlbuckeye132 It's unnerving for sure. And it's never just a glance, it's usually a stare. It's so awkward. Like, what is SO interesting to see down there that people have to stare? At least with big boobs you can maybe pull your shirt up your chest a little bit or close your jacket or whatever, but hiding a belly isn't easy.
@stlbuckeye132 I loathe the stare at the belly business. A friend of mine keeps doing it (accidently I am sure) and I'm debating a gentle call out. I also haven't seen my in-laws since January or my mom since Thanksgiving and am seeing them both in 3ish weeks and imagine there will be lots of belly stares.
Ugh yes the belly stare. I don't know why it makes me more self conscious this time around, maybe because I feel like my belly is so much bigger so much earlier. I was always kind of proud of my belly last time and didn't mind if people took notice, but this time I just feel like everyone must be thinking I'm huge and due next month or something. This is mostly based on comments people have made over the last few weeks - my doc isn't concerned and says I'm measuring on schedule so that's comforting. People just have zero chill.
@meanjellybean I'm the opposite, unless I'm wearing very specific maternity clothes I think I just look kind of chunky/not like I'm almost 23 weeks pregnant so when folks who know look I'm like "I swear it's not just winter storage, there is a human in there".
@meanjellybean are we the same person?! lol... I'm the same this time... I was really proud of my bump last time but I just feel really fat this time. Like, there's a bump, but it's bigger and I feel like there's more fat on top of it than last time and I'm just soooo self conscious about it.
@blaf322 lol yes apparently the same person. Last time I felt like my bump was cute and round and low. This time it's huge and sticking straight out and not as round... blahhh
Guess I"m in the FTM group of enjoying my new bump. But I HATE when people stare. stop looking at me. I have really bad social anxiety, leave me alone. Stare at your own belly.
@nursejenn5 for me it's not that I don't enjoy my bump, but it's more that some people seem to ONLY care about the bump and forget about the human carrying the bump.
I have sadly moved beyond the bump staring and to the bump touching. So many of my patients at work just reach right on out and give it a rub or pat. Most of them are grandparents, and 99% are male and for some reason just love the idea that I am having a boy. I understand the whole respect your elders thing, but I really want to swat the hands away!
@kc0711 RUDE, I get that you can't do this but I would reach out and rub their bellies right back and be like "awkward isn't it, touching people without consent". I'm not showing so so much still but am girding my loins for family time in April where there may be some rogue belly touchers.
@kc0711 ugh, people. I had exactly one patient touch my belly last pregnancy and I was too shocked to really react. She wasn’t elderly or confused or anything. Just a middle aged woman with no boundaries, apparently. Totally wish that swatting was a thing that was not only allowed, but encouraged 😂
So the maintenance director for our district came into my office today to talk about some things and he was carrying these new rubber gloves I hadn't seen before. I asked what the gloves were for and after he told me he said (trying to make a joke) "No actually, I came in here because I knew you were pregnant..." and started putting on the rubber gloves... like he was going to examine me? I don't know. I said UH, ew, no stop that's not a funny joke. But he just kept laughing and snapping the gloves onto his hands. THE F*?!
So we were flying home last night and our flight was delayed 2 hours so we had time to kill and went to a sit down restaurant in the airport. My kids were already on overload with traveling and it was like 2 hours past bedtime already. Anyways, they were doing surprisingly well, but I know we overwhelm people when we’re in public. I see the sighs and eye rolls when I walk by with a 3, 2, and 1 year old.
So, after sitting through dinner quietly, our waitress walked by and whispered, “I can get you a shot of tequila before you leave.” I thought it was funny. So I said, “Oh I would but I’m pregnant.” To which she responded, “Of course you are,” followed by uncontrollable laughter on her end for a good 5 minutes. She was still laughing as we were leaving. I guess I don’t get the joke. I’m honestly just tired of jokes about my choice to have 4 kids in 4 years. I’m not a sensitive person but it just hurts my feelings when people assume that I couldn’t possibly have planned one or two of them.
@blaf322 my husband was trying to make me feel better about it. His take was that she meant it as the one person who really needed the alcohol couldn’t have it. But I’m not buying it, just with how her body language was and everything.
Re: Say What?!
having a boy. I understand the whole respect your elders thing, but I really want to swat the hands away!
@kristinl492 you’re such a jerk... I can’t believe you don’t want random patients touching your belly! 😂
So, after sitting through dinner quietly, our waitress walked by and whispered, “I can get you a shot of tequila before you leave.” I thought it was funny. So I said, “Oh I would but I’m pregnant.” To which she responded, “Of course you are,” followed by uncontrollable laughter on her end for a good 5 minutes. She was still laughing as we were leaving. I guess I don’t get the joke. I’m honestly just tired of jokes about my choice to have 4 kids in 4 years. I’m not a sensitive person but it just hurts my feelings when people assume that I couldn’t possibly have planned one or two of them.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
Edited- I tagged the wrong Rachael/Rachel.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19