@rjk0427@kristinl492 Oliver was on our short list as well but I think we're going to name him after both my grandfathers (one was named Bernard the other Samuel) and have the name be Beauregard Samuel and call him Beau.
@mrs_sheddy that woman does need a hand slap. I remember when we told my mom I was pregnant with DD it was super early, like 9 weeks, and I was constipated. We told her and she was excited and rubbed my belly (I was not showing at all) and I was like "mom, you're just touching poop right now." She was not pleased.
When I was 9 weeks or so DH had his hand on my tummy in bed and felt a wiggle and got a big grin on his face. I then let out the longest, loudest fart ever. Sorry, hon. That was gas, that was not the baby.
Oh I thought of a recent DH-related comment. We took DD to the playground on Sunday and they have these swings where an adult can sit kind of across from the baby/toddler and swing together. So me and DD were swinging and DH was pushing us and I was telling him to push us higher. He was like "give me a break, I'm pushing like 200 pounds!" I was like "DD only weighs 30 pounds wtf do you think I weigh??" He was like "I don't know, 170 I guess?" Cue me shooting daggers at him. I was 170 when I gave birth to DD! Thanks a lot, DH...
@blaf322 lol I know! DH actually got on first but then was like this is making me want to barf. I got on and was fine the first time but then she wanted to go again and i was like nope... got a couple cute pics though
First thing: I hate when people tell me I don’t look pregnant.
Second: This is somewhat related, but I need to get this out because it’s driving me mad. I’ll preface this story with a *TW* and saying that my baby is completely fine... I was at the doctor a few days ago, and they insisted on giving me a pap smear (I just had one in May, and have never had an abnormal result). So they started to scrape away, and I started bleeding. It was a NP, and she just stopped and said that I’d probably have to go to the hospital now, and left the room. She came back about 20 minutes later saying the doctor was on his way (he was out sick). DH and I had been in the exam room trying to hold it together that whole time. We begged for her to use the doppler, which she finally reluctantly did and it allowed us to hear the baby’s heart beat for the first time. After, we were asking questions about the bleeding, and she said, “Oh I think you have a polyp on your cervix and I poked it, so it started bleeding.” When the doctor came, he confirmed that, and said everything was fine and sent me home, but also insisted on rescheduling the pap for 2 weeks from now... is this actually routine? Necessary? Can I tell them I don’t want a pap until after I give birth? I have had serious anxiety about my pregnancy ever since this appointment. Sorry if this is beyond a dumb thing someone said, and more like a dumb thing someone did and then didn’t communicate about.
@angemtn what a crap doctor visit! In my experience, yes, it is routine to get a pap during first trimester! I had one in July and then again during first trimester.
@angemtn that visit sounds awful! I’m so sorry. I didn’t have a pap during my first trimester but it’s because I had one literally three weeks before getting pregnant.
@angemtn I’m so sorry you had such a horrible visit! I didn’t have a pap in first tri but I’d had one very recently. I hope future visits go much smoother.
@angemtn aka them about it! The recommendation isn’t even to get a pap every year if you’re low risk/never had an abnormal pap if you just had one, yoI shouldn’t need one again. I had one last March and they’re gonna wait until after I deliver for another one. (I want to say the recommendation is now every 3 years, but I’d have to look up the specifics to be sure)
@angemtn That sounds terrible. If you just had a clear pap then I don't get their logic in what they did. They may want to decide on what to do with the polyp but that should be a more targeted conversation.
@angemtn It's been a bit over a year since my last one and they aren't telling me I need one so I'm not doing it. I'd think you'd be okay to wait if that's your preference. I mean, when it's all said and done, you always have the right, as a patient, to refuse procedures.
Re: your hatred for being told you don't look pregnant.... I feel like comments about how small I was during my last pregnancy gave me life! Every single time I loved it. I'm not getting any of those comments this time around lol.
@angemtn That sounds like the most awful doctor's visit ever. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that! I didn't get a pap in my first tri. I had one approx one year before at my last annual and my doctor explained to me he wasn't doing it because I had never had an abnormal result and it was not necessary to have one every year (every 2 or 3 or something now). I think you would be totally fine without one.
Thanks for the replies. I had DH call to try to cancel that appointment, and just make one for our 20 week scan, but they wouldn’t let him cancel. I’m pretty mad now. They said we should keep the appointment and just talk to the doctor when we get there. This feels like a waste. As much as I like my doctor, I am considering switching providers if this bs continues. I do not want to have to argue with someone about whether or not they scrape the inside of MY vagina.
@blaf322 I went to an Intuitive Birth class last night, and all the other pregnant women were 26-35 weeks. I had been feeling so proud of my belly, and when they all filed in I looked around and thought, “no I don’t look pregnant at all...” 😂 I almost wished I brought my ultrasound pic to prove it lol.
@angemtn@blaf322 regarding people saying you don’t look pregnant, I get annoyed when people say it as well. I know she means it as a complement, but just don’t. I just dislike that people feel pregnancy allows them to make comments about someone else’s body, regardless of big/small. It makes me feel like I’m being examined. Unless you’re someone I know really well or we have that kind of relationship, obviously.
I feel like people shouldn’t comment on women’s(or men’s really) bodies in general. 😂 unless it’s a closer relationship etc. or if precedes with something like “I’m super excited my bump is showing” or “I’ve been working hard at my weight loss and feel great” or a general “you look great!” Or just keep your mouth shut people. But for the record, I hated being told “your so small” all the time. I have the same body image issues as other women. (And under my clothes I look MUCH different than what my clothes hide 😂)
@nursejenn5 haha yes! Anytime someone would mention how I looked after I had DD I would say "well you haven't seen me naked". Like thanks for the compliment but no one asked you!
@nursejenn5 you took the words right out of my mouth - nothing wrong with just saying "you look great!" And leaving it at that lol no need for the additional editorializing!
What is with people saying that one parent or the other should "get" to name the baby? My grandma just asked if we had a name yet and I told her that might take another 3 years, amd she said since it's DH's first, and a boy, he should to name him. Dafuq? WE made the baby together, WE can pick his name together. Get outta here with that. I told her that sounded like a terrible idea.
Agree with everyone saying just don't comment on anyone's body size/shape. I've also gotten "you don't even look pregnant" and it is annoying to me too.
Switching gears to another "say what?!" moment, I struggled losing the "baby weight" after having DD. (Baby weight in quotes because I definitely overindulged on snacks/desserts when pregnant with her, so it was just actual non-baby weight I'd put on.) Anyway, I struggled with body image and eventually joined WW to keep me accountable and work towards losing the weight. I was really proud of myself for the changes I'd made and had lost most of the weight and was even fitting into some pre-baby clothes, so I was thrilled. Cue my HR manager commenting on how I'd lost a lot of weight and how old is the baby now? Told her 6 months. "Well you know what they say, it takes 9 months to put the weight on and it takes about the same amount of time to lose all of it. You're almost there!" It felt like such a backhanded compliment and I wanted to throat punch her.
@stlbuckeye132 thats annoying! im totally with everyone else....just dont comment on another person's body! one of my coworkers worked her butt off and lost like 60 lbs. she was meeting with one of our contractors and the contractor was like "omg when are you due!?" and rubbed her belly. she was like "um im not pregnant, and i actually just lost a ton of weight...." SO AWKWARD. my poor coworker.
@angemtn um it is NOT okay that your doctor wouldnt let you cancel your appointment.....its your body and baby, you get to make decisions, and in this case, it seems like their poor care delivery and communication is what caused you to be wary of it. they shouldnt make you come into the clinic just to have a discussion about it, especially because they will probably charge you for that....so dumb. im sorry you are dealing with all of this! i hope it gets better!
married to DH on March 15, 2018 TTC since May 2018 dx: PCOS, hypothroidism tx: timed intercourse with meds (dexa, clomid, letrozole, metformin, trigger shots)
First TTGP: 5/9/19 BFN, 6/21/19 BFN, 7/29/19 BFN, 8/1/19 started a break from tx, 11/16/19 surprised with a BFP! LO born 7/7/20 Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
Yes! I thought that might be a pregnancy hormone thing for me, but I’m glad a lot of us share that sentiment. I don’t even comment on people’s obvious weight loss just in case it is unintentional. You just never know how someone feels about their own body and those unwanted comments might make them feel worse. I even hated that pre-pregnancy when people would say how skinny I am. I’ve tried so hard to work out and build muscle, and the word skinny makes me feel scrawny and weak.
I think a lot of people assume the “you don’t even look pregnant” thing is a compliment. But I think about the moms who’ve had a hard time getting pregnant and that might kinda suck to hear. Or maybe a mom whose concerned about their baby being too small/underweight. I can so see how it makes you feel like you’re not doing enough for your growing babe. Just laying on the mom guilt before baby is even born.
I’ve had the “you don’t even look pregnant” a couple times and it kinda stings. The other night, a couple of friends were commenting on how I didn’t look pregnant yet and one of them said, “oh but it’s her first pregnancy so that’s totally normal.”
TW
But it’s not my first pregnancy. It’s my third. It’s my first to get this far, sure. But the comment just really hit me in the gut.
Just shut up about folks’ bodies, people! Not hard!
My mom told me I was looking pudgy the other day. When I just stared back at her, she clarified that I was getting a bump and looking pregnant. I told her she should have said that because pudgy is fat, not a baby bump
@stlbuckeye132 Luckily no, I don't think it's one of our top contenders. She also shared with everyone at a family dinner what my name choice would be if it was a girl. I've realized I can't tell her an-y-thing.
So this is baby 4 in 4 years. Never thought it would go this way so I laugh at most of the comments but some of my personal favorites are, “You know how that happens right”, “Was it an accident?”, “get a bigger tv”, “are you trying to be the Duggars?” “Is your husband getting a vasectomy?” etc. All in all, my reproduction is nobody’s business and I certainly don’t appreciate when people steal my joy and make me feel like I couldn’t possibly have purposely had 4 kids in 4 years. Precisely why I haven’t publicly announced anything about this baby.
Re: Say What?!
When I was 9 weeks or so DH had his hand on my tummy in bed and felt a wiggle and got a big grin on his face. I then let out the longest, loudest fart ever. Sorry, hon. That was gas, that was not the baby.
@rachelredhead
Oh I thought of a recent DH-related comment. We took DD to the playground on Sunday and they have these swings where an adult can sit kind of across from the baby/toddler and swing together. So me and DD were swinging and DH was pushing us and I was telling him to push us higher. He was like "give me a break, I'm pushing like 200 pounds!" I was like "DD only weighs 30 pounds wtf do you think I weigh??" He was like "I don't know, 170 I guess?" Cue me shooting daggers at him. I was 170 when I gave birth to DD! Thanks a lot, DH...
Second: This is somewhat related, but I need to get this out because it’s driving me mad. I’ll preface this story with a *TW* and saying that my baby is completely fine... I was at the doctor a few days ago, and they insisted on giving me a pap smear (I just had one in May, and have never had an abnormal result). So they started to scrape away, and I started bleeding. It was a NP, and she just stopped and said that I’d probably have to go to the hospital now, and left the room. She came back about 20 minutes later saying the doctor was on his way (he was out sick). DH and I had been in the exam room trying to hold it together that whole time. We begged for her to use the doppler, which she finally reluctantly did and it allowed us to hear the baby’s heart beat for the first time. After, we were asking questions about the bleeding, and she said, “Oh I think you have a polyp on your cervix and I poked it, so it started bleeding.” When the doctor came, he confirmed that, and said everything was fine and sent me home, but also insisted on rescheduling the pap for 2 weeks from now... is this actually routine? Necessary? Can I tell them I don’t want a pap until after I give birth? I have had serious anxiety about my pregnancy ever since this appointment. Sorry if this is beyond a dumb thing someone said, and more like a dumb thing someone did and then didn’t communicate about.
@angemtn that visit sounds awful! I’m so sorry. I didn’t have a pap during my first trimester but it’s because I had one literally three weeks before getting pregnant.
Re: your hatred for being told you don't look pregnant.... I feel like comments about how small I was during my last pregnancy gave me life! Every single time
That sounds like the most awful doctor's visit ever. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that! I didn't get a pap in my first tri. I had one approx one year before at my last annual and my doctor explained to me he wasn't doing it because I had never had an abnormal result and it was not necessary to have one every year (every 2 or 3 or something now). I think you would be totally fine without one.
@blaf322 I went to an Intuitive Birth class last night, and all the other pregnant women were 26-35 weeks. I had been feeling so proud of my belly, and when they all filed in I looked around and thought, “no I don’t look pregnant at all...” 😂 I almost wished I brought my ultrasound pic to prove it lol.
or a general “you look great!” Or just keep your mouth shut people. But for the record, I hated being told “your so small” all the time. I have the same body image issues as other women. (And under my clothes I look MUCH different than what my clothes hide 😂)
Switching gears to another "say what?!" moment, I struggled losing the "baby weight" after having DD. (Baby weight in quotes because I definitely overindulged on snacks/desserts when pregnant with her, so it was just actual non-baby weight I'd put on.) Anyway, I struggled with body image and eventually joined WW to keep me accountable and work towards losing the weight. I was really proud of myself for the changes I'd made and had lost most of the weight and was even fitting into some pre-baby clothes, so I was thrilled. Cue my HR manager commenting on how I'd lost a lot of weight and how old is the baby now? Told her 6 months. "Well you know what they say, it takes 9 months to put the weight on and it takes about the same amount of time to lose all of it. You're almost there!" It felt like such a backhanded compliment and I wanted to throat punch her.
@angemtn um it is NOT okay that your doctor wouldnt let you cancel your appointment.....its your body and baby, you get to make decisions, and in this case, it seems like their poor care delivery and communication is what caused you to be wary of it. they shouldnt make you come into the clinic just to have a discussion about it, especially because they will probably charge you for that....so dumb. im sorry you are dealing with all of this! i hope it gets better!
dx: PCOS, hypothroidism
Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
Thanks, Mom.
Oh and my dad last time, “congrats. I guess.”
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19