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July 2020 Moms
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FFFC

JessDGJessDG member
edited December 2019 in July 2020 Moms
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Re: FFFC

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  • blaf322blaf322 member
    @JessDG I'm glad you're staying! 
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  • modoodlesmodoodles member
    I sometimes lurk the board I would have been a part of had I not mc in Sept. Another lady from my 2012 bmb and I got positive tests back on Sept on the same day, and she's active there. I have mixed feeling about it. I'm sad to not be further along, and then I feel guilty for feeling sad because if I hadn't mc, I wouldn't be pregnant now with this one. 
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  • stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @JessDG I'm glad you're not leaving us! And I can see the meme, actually I see all three of them! :lol:

    @modoodles I wasn't active on TB until 2017, but I know you're not alone in missing the "good old days" from what I've seen. I like having a supportive group of women to go through this with, but I'm certainly not one to watch my language! haha re: your mc and this current pregnancy, I think it's normal to feel sad about the mc AND happy for your current pregnancy. It seems we often think of those feelings as mutually exclusive, but I think you can feel both at the same time and not only one or the other.
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  • blaf322blaf322 member
    @modoodles yessss! I was active back in 2016 and there was so much more snark, even then. I miss it and think it makes things more interesting. People are waaaay less active now b/c it's kind of boring.

    And for those of you who think, "oh, but I like how supportive it is like this!" Things were supportive too. People just actually got called out for dumb shit they said instead of everyone quietly ignoring it and acting like it didn't happen.
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  • JessDGJessDG member
    @stlbuckeye132
    HAHAHA ok, so my work computer is really the worst.  I will have to start threads on mobile from now on if I want to post a pic. 
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  • JessDGJessDG member
    @blaf322
    I definitely find things less active than I am used to.  I felt like maybe it was because we were still so new.  I didn't join my last BMB until I was about 14 weeks. Maybe we need to have a few more GTKY and some of the other threads to encourage conversation and participation.  I'll make an effort to start more of those next week.  
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  • kc0711kc0711 member
    I know that it is spelled and pronounced sherBET, but I refuse and continue to call it sherBERT. Sherbet just sounds dumb and pretentious. And I may or may not have eaten said dessert for dinner the past three nights. No shame. 
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  • blaf322blaf322 member
    @b_1029 I've been giving it the college try and there are a handful of folks I like/think I'll prob like if I make it to the FB group... and that's why I'm still around :#

    @JessDG I feel like we need folks to be more risky with their UOs and FFFCs... and they need to start calling people out when they say ridiculous things. I'm all for more GTKY's though :smile:

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  • b_1029b_1029 member
    @kc0711 fffc- I had no idea I was pronouncing it incorrectly 😂 sherBERT all the way!
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  • modoodlesmodoodles member
    I'm very strongly considering a small glass of champagne on new years. And I want my DH to order a bloody mary at breakfast this weekend so I can have a sip. I miss my booze. I haven't had any since before BFP, but I'm kind of craving it right now. 
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  • blaf322blaf322 member
    edited December 2019
    @kc0711 sherbert is also a correct spelling and pronunciation lol... so you're not incorrect to say (or spell) it "sherbert
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  • b_1029b_1029 member
    Sex was the worst part about 2 years of TTC for me (other than ya know, the negatives, length of time, etc). Not sure if DH is bad or I’m bad or just too lazy to figure out anything better. I guess it goes to show that quantity doesn’t = quality (as in, the amount of people I’ve been with)...and my lack of interest in sex probably stems from the fact I’ve never O’d? 
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  • stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    I definitely agree things are less active than my previous BMB. I also feel like I've really been trying to stick with this and make our board more active, but it is hard when it feels like more people just read than actively participate. I do remember though with my first BMB I was intimidated to post something in the wrong spot b/c it felt like people were quick to jump all over that and dogpile telling you how dumb you are for posting in the wrong spot. I've not gotten that vibe at all this time around though, so not sure what's holding people back from participating...
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  • modoodlesmodoodles member
    @b_1029 oh dang! I went a long time without O, but thankfully that changed a few years ago. Now I think we've dtd exactly once since BFP. But I have gotten O by myself a few times. 😂 I'm just too tired to put in the time and effort to go there with DH right now! I also think I've only shaved my legs once since BFP. I'm pretty disgusting these days. 
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  • blaf322blaf322 member
    @b_1029 have you taken some solo time to figure out what you like/what gets you off? If you don't have a vibrator, you should definitely get one. Most women don't O from intercourse (the in and out of it all) alone and need some external stimulation :smile:

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  • blaf322blaf322 member
    edited December 2019
    @modoodles haha... I've shaved since but poor DH has not gotten any since before my BFP b/c we weren't allowed part of the time and the rest b/c I haven't felt like it. Fortunately, I go to bed way before him now so solo time is ample... probably for both of us lol
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  • JessDGJessDG member
    Yeah, no sex over here either.  I had a lot of bleeding with my son and I'm mostly terrified.  

    FFFC - I think the word twatwaffle is funny.  
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  • b_1029b_1029 member
    @modoodles so jealous, I was hoping we could take a breather after getting KU 😂

    @blaf322 no I haven’t- I think I’m just lazy about the whole thing haha. I really should though because it would make it feel like less of a chore. I have O’d with DH before, just not from sex (which I know is common). Lately when he tries to touch me I’m like no let’s just get to the sex part because it’s usually in the morning on the weekends and I just want to get it over with so I can go back to sleep 🙈
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  • rachelredheadrachelredhead member
    @b_1029 I’ve Od maybe twice in life from intercourse. And it’s not something I can recreate, just a stars aligning thing. So O with my DH is always through external means. I know it bums him out, but I’m fine with it. The times I did O during intercourse weren’t better than otherwise so why would it matter, I guess? But as far as not O at all, I feel like it didn’t really work for me until I figured it out solo, vibrators and such. 

    I’ll echo others and say we’ve DTD maybe 4 times times since BFP. One weekend we did it twice and in my head I thought, “well that should cover me for a couple weeks.” I hate that feeling but I am just not in the mood at all these days. 
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  • stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @b_1029 does he know you're not getting there or do you fake it? I never Od during sex for a long time, but can now - only on top and not every time. Sometimes I fake it though just to be done with it when I don't want to deal with MH wanting to continue with other activities that'll get me there.
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  • kc0711kc0711 member
    @JessDG yes it is! I’m not bothered by the t word, the c word, any of that. It’s just a word! If you don’t like it, don’t say it. 

    +1 for team no sex. I ain’t got time for that shit right now. And I don’t want to barf in the middle. I was on pelvic rest with DD from 24w-delivery at 35w and it was glorious. However for team no O, definitely get yourself a BOB! I am much more efficient with that than MH  :D
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  • stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    This is not at all a juicy FFFC, but I've got nothing else. I have a work potluck lunch today, and I made puppy chow for it. I currently am sitting here with a stomachache because I got hungry and ate a bunch of it at 10:00am. Whoops. And I was just reaching in and grabbing it from the bag instead of pouring it out.... that might get some people who care about germs (not I) outraged? haha
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  • blaf322blaf322 member
    I think we all know I cuss by now. @modoodles I'm definitely the right audience for that :D I don't know about everyone else, but I think that's hysterical. c u next tuesday doesn't bother me at all. 

    I think one serving of whatever kind of alcohol you want is totally okay and I don't judge at all.

    I do judge people who continue to smoke throughout their pregnancy though. We had a girl on DD's BMB admit she smoked something like half a pack one day. She swore that was the only time she had done it all pregnancy.... but her kid was full term and spent time in the nicu, if I'm remembering correctly, for underdeveloped lungs so I'm 100% sure that was a lie. She was flamed for that... badly.... and we were pretty far along so folks were being a little nicer by then.
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  • stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @modoodles I'm also the right audience for that :lol: definitely made me laugh!

    @mehugg MH has an evening meeting once/month and I LOVE that one night when I can do whatever I want without him haha enjoy!

    @blaf322 uhhhh yikes. As someone who also had a full-term baby in the NICU, I can't imagine knowing that something I did likely caused that. That's awful, and I hate when I see pregnant women smoking.

    @pocketrose I'm sort of dying picturing someone just blowing into a vagina during oral.
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  • Pascal86Pascal86 member
    @stlbuckeye132 I tried to participate in May18 and quickly left because of how aggressive people were if you posted in the wrong spot. It just made it stressful and basically impossible to have a thread that didn’t include someone yelling at someone for posting wrong. But I was sad when a few months later I felt like I could use the support and didn’t have a group. 
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  • stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @Pascal86 yeah I was March18 the first time around so about the same time. I agree it was too much. I think it's fine to re-direct people, but you don't need 17 people to do it in a bitchy way. I think @blaf322 has been doing a great job pointing those people to the right spots in a very civil manner!
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  • pocketrosepocketrose member
    @stlbuckeye132 Right? H and I had a laugh but I also feel bad for those who take the gynos advice without some of their own research.

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  • blaf322blaf322 member
    I'm not sure if this counts... but it's along the lines of what we're talking about...

    I haaaate when people big dick swing and are like, "oh, I'm a TTM so this SS thread I just created is totally fine." No. No it's not. And my confession that goes along with this is, I avoid commenting in those threads at all cost and was totally mad at myself when I realized I replied to someone's comment within that Cravings/Aversions thread b/c I was determined to ignore and act like it didn't exist solely b/c I was annoyed that busymom whoever tried to act like she's an exception b/c she's done it before :D Then I let it go and continued to comment b/c it's not actually that big of a deal lol
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  • kristinl492kristinl492 member
    @modoodles I allowed myself a little champagne during toasts at a recent wedding I went to. I figured 4-5 sips would probably never even reach baby by the time my body metabolizes it 🤷🏼‍♀️ 
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  • Pascal86Pascal86 member
    @blaf322 I actually usually enjoy SS threads because it’s easier to know what the thread is about, versus things like just a massive question thread with a million different topics in it. I think TB interface definitely isn’t designed to support that (or basically do anything useful ever), and it’s so hard to respond to the thing you’re trying to talk about. But I usually don’t engage in them either because everyone seems so annoyed at them and there seems to be a very specific structure we’re going for. 
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  • modoodlesmodoodles member
    @Pascal86 I probably won't be buying much for pregnancy/baby. They really don't need much. I will have to get maternity clothes. I gained like 30 lbs prepregnancy, so I basically have nothing that fits. But I know how short term those things last too, so I'm totally happy to share among friends. But I just do it because I hate to spend money, not because I gave much thought to the environment 🙈  I don't go out of my way to avoid learning about it,  but it's not something I think about daily either.
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  • Pascal86Pascal86 member
    @modoodles money is a good reason too! Sometimes I wonder if it’s a regional mindset too - in the PNW it’s top of mind for a lot of people most of the time. But I haven’t lived anywhere else so don’t have a good benchmark of what the mindset is other places. 
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