@pocketrose I think it is SO rude when people spoil things immediately after the movie comes out. We saw star wars last night and I would love to discuss when you see it!!
@blaf322 I hardcore judge the smoking too. I've had two NICU babies- so when both of my sisters completely ignore medical advice and don't try to avoid it at all costs it pisses me off. I've had several not-so- friendly conversations with them about it. Once even in public. Its enraging to see someone care so little about what they could be doing to not only their body, but their baby's as well. My sister was a pack a day smoker all through her pregnancy and she delivered in September. That poor kiddo has been constantly sick since then. Why take that chance?
@JessDG H and I are PUMPED to see it but I've already seen some folks posting being there today (no spoilers yet but I'm keeping an eagle eye out). I feel like I expect it with television shows because there's less barrier to entry but a movie right before Christmas that people are planning on seeing this weekend or on Christmas? 0 stars to those humans (and yes please, eager to nerd out about it with folks later).
@Pascal86 I think region definitely comes into play. I was on a flight back in May and met a couple of guys who were genuinely surprised that I had 4 kids. They were from Cali and said if they had more than two, they would never hear the end of it. That was the first time I had heard someone say having kids was bad for the environment. It was just something I had never considered before. I'm in the midwest, and large families aren't that uncommon in our rural area.
@pocketrose OMG dying about the oral conversation. I have a close girlfriend whose boyfriend is apparently terrible at it. She said it was like he thought he was licking a popsicle. 😂That would have been a deal breaker for me!
@modoodles yep - just think about anything you personally might do that could hurt the environment... and think of another person doing that, for an entire lifetime. Especially at this time where reducing impact is so critical. I had to warn a few of my friends ahead of time I wanted a third to be sure they got their negative reactions out ahead of time (I mean, didn’t have to, but knew it would be better).
So I'm kind of on a mini crusade to make a little positive impact wherever I can. Mostly this consists of hassling my boss for using disposable coffee cups all the time and leaving his car idling when we’re traveling. 😂 But I also like to remind people in these groups that there are a lot of ways of doing things, with varying degrees of impact, and we can aim to leave a little smaller footprint if we just think about things a bit differently.
@Pascal86 I have honestly never thought of buying secondhand solely because there’s such a focus on baby showers and such- I will definitely look into buying secondhand stuff when we actually start to look for things like furniture and toys. My friend gave me her maternity clothes and she had a baby in May so I’m sure most of it can last me which is a plus!
eta there’s a huge secondhand event here that I just remembered my friend told me about so hopefully I can get most of our stuff we need from there!
@blaf322 I recently found out my birth mother smoked throughout her pregnancy and it makes me so mad. Thanks so much for the childhood asthma and who knows, potentially damaging my fertility, dick.
@blaf322 Sorry just catching up, but good for you for flaming that woman who was smoking during pregnancy. Our friends had a baby girl in May and DH had to talk to them about smoking during. They got so defensive about it. And this was after they struggled to get pregnant. Seriously?!
@Pascal86 I am totally with you on the environment/consumerism. So many of our extended family have baby clothes and toys so we will have to buy very little. I may even see if someone has a crib kicking around. I am going to buy a couple of cute nerdy onesies that I saw on Etsy, but that is about it. Good for you for spreading the word
@pocketrose & @JessDG I have been avoiding my nerd groups on FB. We are going this Sunday!
@Pascal86 I do plan to do some shopping at Thrift stores. It's one of my planned stops over the holiday. My frustration is so many things are girl/boy oriented it's hard to get far w/o that information. But I think I'll get my NIPT results over the holiday.
If we have a girl I'm hoping to inherit some things (baby cousin) but don't have a large friend group with babies mostly they have older kids or teens now. We are fortunate to live in area with recycling. I drive a hybrid car. The environment is important to me. Do I urgently think about it? No
@meri-mac I used the same crib for all four of my oldest, but thought we were done, so I passed it on to a teen mom my friend was working with. This time I had looked at a few nurseries I liked, including a crib, but one of my good friends (the only one who knows about this pregnancy so far) asked if we wanted to use their daughters' crib, because they are taking a few years before adding a third and we would just give it back to them. I'm excited to not have to buy a new one. My original crib was a shower gift from my grandma and aunts!
@Pascal86 I’m a big fan of secondhand, try to stick to thrift/consignment stores and online sources like ThredUP and Poshmark. The online stuff is obviously available to everyone but I am sensitive to the fact lots of folks don’t live in markets with active secondhand locations and some people don’t like shopping online for clothes. I live in a very progressive and decent-sized city so we have tons of options. I am curious how I’ll handle a shower. I know people like to buy new gifts but I’m trying to figure out how to encourage secondhand stuff. I’ll definitely make it explicit in the invite but then maybe just not register for anything clothing related, ask only for hand me downs. I know some folks will insist on new purchases, especially since this is our first, but I figure I can stop a smidge of the bleeding by being clear I prefer pre-owned stuff.
@modoodles I think it's absolutely a regional topic because this is the first I've ever hear someone say anything about how having kids is bad for the environment.
@Pascal86 girl, if we had a SS post every time someone had a thought or question pop into their head, it would be IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with and would mean we end up with duplicate threads and impossible to find info. That said, searching on TB is impossible anyway.... but I digress.
Anyway, I'm glad there's organization. We don't need a separate thread every time SS Sally wants to know how far along she is or if we think her baby is a boy or girl based on which direction it's facing and how fast it's heartbeat was during her 10wk US. lol
I am petty AF. I get irrationally annoyed when my mom asks me for recipes and then passes it off as her own. She did it at an extended family Thanksgiving this year, and has been doing it every year for the past 5-6 years at my stepdad's family xmas. She started asking me last week for the my chicken corn chowder recipe but I had not given it to her until today when she called me and texted me twice about it before 10 am. I just took a picture of my hand -written recipe card and posted it on her facebook page with a caption, "sorry I didn't get this to you sooner, LOL, now next year when you ask for it again you can just search your profile." Suck it Mom!
My FFFC regarding the holidays is that I bought xmas gifts for my SIL's daughters back in May but now I'm refusing to send them to them. She has never wished my kids a happy birthday or a merry xmas, and will definitely not be sending them gifts for xmas. So F her. I know she will send DH a nasty text about him not caring about the girls, but I'm done doing for them when they refuse to acknowledge my kids in return.
I’m sad to be joining this convo late. But will also say as a person new to TB I didn’t know what to expect from these BMB so it was hard to come on and open up and feel comfortable posting. I’m trying to contribute more. But also feel it’s hard when obviously have such different views of many things. And the fact that I’m “young” I feel the majority of the convos aren’t for FTM which I think makes it harder to chime in because i(we?) don’t have the same experiences?
Also I must be lucky H Has always made sure I O before he does, but almost always by external means. Which I’m fine with 🤷🏻♀️😂 H isn’t really environmentally friendly, but does think most things are unnecessary (Were actually happy to go to secondhand stores for a lot of baby things well only be needing for a couple months. And considering cloth diapering but we’ll see) but H REALLY believes excess children are also ruining things environmentally. So it’ll be interesting when/if we talk about a #2 babe.
@rachelredhead I’ve purchased from Poshmark a couple of times and generally don’t like it, so I get that. Honestly my MO has been to just stop buying stuff. And I refused a second baby shower because I knew people have a hard time not buying stuff. Also I was the first of my friends to have kids - now they’ve all had one so there’s more second hand stuff for them to lend/give. So hopefully I can make that happen - or just not have a shower.
@bluguitarhannah I’m glad to hear you’ve found a way to be environmentally conscious without having severe anxiety about it like me! 😂
@meri-mac and happy you’re on board with it too! A lot of it is just good timing - having a need right when your neighbor or friend’s kid has outgrown their crib, etc. I look at craigslist and OfferUp, things like that - mostly I try to just not buy stuff at all, but when I need something, it also cuts the cost way down to take this approach.
@nursejenn5 don't worry, us STM+'s LOVE telling you and other FTM's about our experiences and what you should/shouldn't do only half kidding.
I'm also sad that I missed so much this morning and shit is getting interesting on this thread. I occasionally lurked my BMB for my daughter and would go back and forth between being horrified at how people were treated and then also laughing at the often sick burns. And agreeing/arguing with people in my head. Maybe I should be flamed for that alone, I don't know.
I'm honestly relieved people want to loosen it up a bit around here, I'm part of a few local mom/bf facebook groups and things are soooo touchy-feely it's sometimes nauseating. I think that has a place too - a lot of the posts are moms who are really struggling with stuff emotionally and so being told they're an idiot is obviously not helpful.
So to catch up, if anyone cares, I'm also team no sex since BFP (and really wasn't into it before then, oops), and my FFFC is that I might be totally fine with just not having sex until after the baby is born, like a while after the baby is born...
Another FFFC on the second-hand issue... I guess I'm a snob and only do second hand for things that I like/are my taste. I don't really plan on buying more maternity clothes (except maybe a few dresses/short sleeved shirts since I had a March baby), but someone I don't know well recently offered a bunch of clothes that her friend gave her and I said yes but don't really want them. I don't know who this person is and I kind of feel like this other friend is just trying to unload unwanted shit on me (she's currently pregnant, why doesn't she want them??). I have enough shit in my house and have been trying to donate/sell clothes I don't wear anyway, I don't want to take on additional stuff.
@meanjellybean SAME with some second hand stuff. My youngest sister Audrey had a baby in September and last weekend when my sisters/mom/ I got together for lunch and xmas shopping, she said she was going to get a bunch of clothes ready to give to us. I said, "well, they will be different seasons..." and she said, "well some of it might work, plus FRIEND gave a bunch of her kid's clothes that didnt work out." Uh, no, I've seen how that person dresses their kid and I'm not interested. Also, I've seen the stained clothes my nephew always wears. Hard pass. I told her that I don't want a bunch of junk i have to sort through to find something that isn't old/gross/stained because I'm not going to be someone's dumping ground for their shit they should have just thrown away.
@modoodles yes exactly! I have a good friend who had her daughter about two months before I had mine and she basically would give me the stuff her daughter had just grown out of, but since I knew it was cute I didn't mind (and I'm really just talking sleepers and onesies lol). I'm not a minimalist by any means but I'm also lazy and disorganized so the thought of someone giving me a bunch of stuff I'm not going to use and is going to be my responsibility to get rid of stresses me out.
@meanjellybean and @modoodles yeah I definitely don’t get stuff I don’t want just because I go for second hand. I just shop more at consignment stores, and selectively accept used items from other people if they’re what I need.
when I was a FTM I had several people basically give me their baby’s entire wardrobe, and quickly learned I did NOT need that much stuff! So pared it down a ton, and stopped just taking whatever.
@Pascal86 I feel like that's a great part of being a STM. I already know what I need and don't have to guess. I may buy some new clothes, like those cloud island zipper sleepers from target that my baby lived in for like 3 months. But since we were team green with our first we already have a lot.
@meanjellybean yeah - but also if you end up with too much second hand stuff, the babies grow so quickly you could always just hold on to it, and then get rid of any extra as they outgrow it, and save what you actually need for future kids.
Maldonado those zipper things are amazing and like $35+ at target and there are soooo many used ones for like $5 out there. I was so mad after buying the first one new that I didn’t realize how many cheap, barely used ones there are!
@Pascal86 I just don't feel like dealing with the sorting of second hand stuff. I'd generally rather get what we need and then sell/donate when we are done. What's maldonado?
@meanjellybean I was the EXACT same with my first BMB. I wavered between, "omg! I can't believe they're being such jerks!" and snickering to myself b/c, let's face it, that was a solid burn. lol
@nursejenn5 I get how you're feeling. Hang in there. I didn't feel like I had a ton to contribute in the beginning with my first BMB either. As we all get to know each other better, we'll have more random/day to day conversations and chiming in will be easier
On the second hand clothes thing...They aren't typically my jam but, up until this season, all of DD's clothes have been 2nd hand from someone we know well that has the same style as us and kept clothes in good condition. She constantly was complemented as being best dressed at daycare so I felt like I must not be crazy lol...Plus DD had WAY too many clothes at all times and I miss the variety. Mostly b/c I wasn't always in a rush to do laundry. This was her closet at our old house when she was 6mo... The bottom rack was current season and top was next. 90% of it was hand me down
@blaf322 her closet is so roomy! Jealous. My daughter wears the same 5 things to school b/c she always comes home looking a mess and I don't want her ruining her "nice" clothes haha
@stlbuckeye132 that was our old house. We miss the closets in that house b/c they were all walk-in. She has been greatly downgraded with this house... but she doesn't know the difference lol
I do the same now that we don't get those hand me downs anymore... I'm like, oh, she can't wear that to school b/c it's white and if I send her, that'll definitely be the day they eat spaghetti.
I haven't really had a chance to catch up on here or a lot of the threads around here lately, but I did feel like I needed to pop in and confess that my coworker gave me a box of Belgian chocolates for the holidays this morning and it is basically all I've eaten today (besides this morning's bagel). And I am not bringing it home because I refuse to share with my husband/kids.
On a more serious note I also feel terrible because I lost my cool with my 3 year old this morning while he was having a meltdown temper tantrum and I screamed at him. It was not my proudest mom moment and I am scared to face him later and see if he is still upset.
And finally, today is the last day of the current pay period so I need to update my billing and I've done next to no work all week. I am currently sitting here trying to fill in my billing but have no clue what the F I've been doing all week. And now I am on here while still at work and this is not exactly something I can bill for. Oops.
My FFFC is that I definitely just unhooked my bra at my desk because I couldn’t take the squeeze anymore. I’m wearing a thick sweater and I’ll throw on my coat soon and leave but I just could not take it anymore.
FFFC - I don't mind SS threads, AW threads, etc. I think it's part of what I miss from the "old days." My last BMB was VERY much on the "don't post extra stuff, only post in the right thread" train and I just don't care that much.
Also, I've eaten most of a can of Pringles between yesterday and today. And on Monday I ate most of a box of cookies.... Not much sounds good right now, but I just want to eat ALL of whatever does sound good. I think my OB bases her weight gain recs on the weight at first appointment, and I'm mildly concerned that I'll have hit the overweight mark by then (I still have a week to wait). I am still nursing though, so FX all those calories are getting burned. I just don't want to deal with the weight comments; she's not mean or rude about it, but it's annoying.
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
@zande2016 ugh... I’m sorry you had a rough morning. I have absolutely been there with DD (also 3). I hope you’re able to spend a little QT together over the weekend and everyone gets back on track. ❤️
Holy moly @blaf322 that closet is bigger than all the closets in my little Boston apartment combined 😳
Agree with @nursejenn5 about being a FTM and feeling like I don't have much to contribute beyond questions. SO grateful for the STM+ perspectives though! Also @nursejenn5 I'm sure you have lots of helpful insights from your work.
There are a total of 4 people with whom I am close who have had kids...and only 2 of them are local. And all of them have only just had their first and intend to continue growing their families. So....slim pickings for hand me downs. Which I wish I had more access to both for environmental and financial purposes. There are lots of things I'm totally cool with buying second hand (especially maternity clothes!) But I'm thinking I'd rather buy high-quality, long-lasting stuff for some things that, God willing, I'll reuse for future children (and then share with a friend/family member or contribute to a second hand market).
I'm also hoping that being "team green" will mean I'll get less "extra" stuff yaknow? Holy hell I went to a baby shower for a girl last weekend and the extra, non-registered-for pink frilly everything was too much.
@Pascal86 lol totally makes sense now. I don’t remember them being that expensive.. maybe for the three pack which was totally worth it in my mind. But again, I’m the first person to admit I’m not the thriftiest shopper.
Im late to the conversation but for those of you that are looking at buying second hand baby/kids clothes I highly recommend looking for a Once Upon a Child if ther is one near you!
You can both sell your old kids clothes, books and gear as well as buying all of that second hand. They have high standards as to what they will take and check for recalls before accepting any gear. We bought a beautiful Pottery Barn bassinet there at a steep discount, I can't wait to be able to use it again! I buy most of my boys clothes there. I pay particular attention to the brands that I know are good quality since I have 2 boy who are rough on their clothes.
For anyone interested in ThredUP, I recommend doing one of their goody boxes. They’re $10 and you can pick 10 things to put in your box (filter for maternity with your sizes, or look for brands you like). They send you the box and deduct the $10 from what you keep. Even if you hate everything (probably unlikely since you choose the pieces) and send everything back, you’re only out $10. Just a cool way to shop secondhand in the comfort of your own home.
@mehugg I'll have to remember to take a pic of her closet now. It's super small.
And for FTM feeling like they can't contribute except for questions, please, ask away. I forget who said it, but a STM+ looooves to talk about their experience(s) lol... I don't know what it is, but we all seem to love sharing what worked for us lol
@blaf322 that was me that's why we're all here right? To impart our wisdom onto FTM's? (sarcasm, kind of lol).
Also, on the second hand topic, I listened to really interesting Fresh Air (NPR) interview with the author of a book about where all of our donated stuff goes, and how society's consumerism is impacting the environment, etc. It was really good, highly recommend it! Def supports a lot of what @Pascal86 has been saying, but there is also a lot of stuff you wouldn't expect in there. You can find it in the Fresh Air podcasts.
I'm not sure if this counts... but it's along the lines of what we're talking about...
I haaaate when people big dick swing and are like, "oh, I'm a TTM so this SS thread I just created is totally fine." No. No it's not. And my confession that goes along with this is, I avoid commenting in those threads at all cost and was totally mad at myself when I realized I replied to someone's comment within that Cravings/Aversions thread b/c I was determined to ignore and act like it didn't exist solely b/c I was annoyed that busymom whoever tried to act like she's an exception b/c she's done it before Then I let it go and continued to comment b/c it's not actually that big of a deal lol
Not that I did it before but I think it deserves its own thread. Yes it is symptoms but it can also stand on it's own. Why only have the exact same threads as other boards? We have all those threads too but I thought it could stand alone. Prob other topics too but that is one that is always on my mind. I could be really annoying and do it every week 😆
My understanding from my first board was not one off threads like the people who do drive bys. If it is a meaningful thread then it works and stays.
I was in an early 2017 BMB that everyone got flamed in early on from rules police (including me). It got insane and 3 people left and one took the spreadsheet and deleted it one month in. It was very snarky but cooled down. We still followed the structure and was easy to follow and there are 55 of us in a very tightknit FB group (many of us have met).
Lots of talk of low participation but in getting on here as new person it seems very boring unless you understand structure and get involved. A unique thread might help.
FWIW I think the safe meds thread was pointless snd actually as some incorrect info I've been meaning to point out/inquire vs my knowledge per dr and Ovias app medicinesectiom. Let's also do a food safety, etc? Not really but I've never see safe meds as thread before.
If a topic truly doesn't fit people correct, won't comment and it moves way down or it gets deleted.
Re: FFFC
I think it is SO rude when people spoil things immediately after the movie comes out. We saw star wars last night and I would love to discuss when you see it!!
So I'm kind of on a mini crusade to make a little positive impact wherever I can. Mostly this consists of hassling my boss for using disposable coffee cups all the time and leaving his car idling when we’re traveling. 😂 But I also like to remind people in these groups that there are a lot of ways of doing things, with varying degrees of impact, and we can aim to leave a little smaller footprint if we just think about things a bit differently.
eta there’s a huge secondhand event here that I just remembered my friend told me about so hopefully I can get most of our stuff we need from there!
@blaf322 I recently found out my birth mother smoked throughout her pregnancy and it makes me so mad. Thanks so much for the childhood asthma and who knows, potentially damaging my fertility, dick.
@Pascal86 I am totally with you on the environment/consumerism. So many of our extended family have baby clothes and toys so we will have to buy very little. I may even see if someone has a crib kicking around. I am going to buy a couple of cute nerdy onesies that I saw on Etsy, but that is about it. Good for you for spreading the word
@pocketrose & @JessDG I have been avoiding my nerd groups on FB. We are going this Sunday!
@Pascal86 girl, if we had a SS post every time someone had a thought or question pop into their head, it would be IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with and would mean we end up with duplicate threads and impossible to find info. That said, searching on TB is impossible anyway.... but I digress.
Anyway, I'm glad there's organization. We don't need a separate thread every time SS Sally wants to know how far along she is or if we think her baby is a boy or girl based on which direction it's facing and how fast it's heartbeat was during her 10wk US. lol
H isn’t really environmentally friendly, but does think most things are unnecessary (Were actually happy to go to secondhand stores for a lot of baby things well only be needing for a couple months. And considering cloth diapering but we’ll see) but H REALLY believes excess children are also ruining things environmentally. So it’ll be interesting when/if we talk about a #2 babe.
@bluguitarhannah I’m glad to hear you’ve found a way to be environmentally conscious without having severe anxiety about it like me! 😂
@meri-mac and happy you’re on board with it too! A lot of it is just good timing - having a need right when your neighbor or friend’s kid has outgrown their crib, etc. I look at craigslist and OfferUp, things like that - mostly I try to just not buy stuff at all, but when I need something, it also cuts the cost way down to take this approach.
I'm also sad that I missed so much this morning and shit is getting interesting on this thread. I occasionally lurked my BMB for my daughter and would go back and forth between being horrified at how people were treated and then also laughing at the often sick burns. And agreeing/arguing with people in my head. Maybe I should be flamed for that alone, I don't know.
I'm honestly relieved people want to loosen it up a bit around here, I'm part of a few local mom/bf facebook groups and things are soooo touchy-feely it's sometimes nauseating. I think that has a place too - a lot of the posts are moms who are really struggling with stuff emotionally and so being told they're an idiot is obviously not helpful.
So to catch up, if anyone cares, I'm also team no sex since BFP (and really wasn't into it before then, oops), and my FFFC is that I might be totally fine with just not having sex until after the baby is born, like a while after the baby is born...
when I was a FTM I had several people basically give me their baby’s entire wardrobe, and quickly learned I did NOT need that much stuff! So pared it down a ton, and stopped just taking whatever.
Maldonado those zipper things are amazing and like $35+ at target and there are soooo many used ones for like $5 out there. I was so mad after buying the first one new that I didn’t realize how many cheap, barely used ones there are!
@nursejenn5 I get how you're feeling. Hang in there. I didn't feel like I had a ton to contribute in the beginning with my first BMB either. As we all get to know each other better, we'll have more random/day to day conversations and chiming in will be easier
On the second hand clothes thing...They aren't typically my jam but, up until this season, all of DD's clothes have been 2nd hand from someone we know well that has the same style as us and kept clothes in good condition. She constantly was complemented as being best dressed at daycare so I felt like I must not be crazy lol...Plus DD had WAY too many clothes at all times and I miss the variety. Mostly b/c I wasn't always in a rush to do laundry. This was her closet at our old house when she was 6mo... The bottom rack was current season and top was next. 90% of it was hand me down
I do the same now that we don't get those hand me downs anymore... I'm like, oh, she can't wear that to school b/c it's white and if I send her, that'll definitely be the day they eat spaghetti.
On a more serious note I also feel terrible because I lost my cool with my 3 year old this morning while he was having a meltdown temper tantrum and I screamed at him. It was not my proudest mom moment and I am scared to face him later and see if he is still upset.
And finally, today is the last day of the current pay period so I need to update my billing and I've done next to no work all week. I am currently sitting here trying to fill in my billing but have no clue what the F I've been doing all week. And now I am on here while still at work and this is not exactly something I can bill for. Oops.
Also, I've eaten most of a can of Pringles between yesterday and today. And on Monday I ate most of a box of cookies....
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
Agree with @nursejenn5 about being a FTM and feeling like I don't have much to contribute beyond questions. SO grateful for the STM+ perspectives though! Also @nursejenn5 I'm sure you have lots of helpful insights from your work.
There are a total of 4 people with whom I am close who have had kids...and only 2 of them are local. And all of them have only just had their first and intend to continue growing their families. So....slim pickings for hand me downs. Which I wish I had more access to both for environmental and financial purposes. There are lots of things I'm totally cool with buying second hand (especially maternity clothes!) But I'm thinking I'd rather buy high-quality, long-lasting stuff for some things that, God willing, I'll reuse for future children (and then share with a friend/family member or contribute to a second hand market).
I'm also hoping that being "team green" will mean I'll get less "extra" stuff yaknow? Holy hell I went to a baby shower for a girl last weekend and the extra, non-registered-for pink frilly everything was too much.
You can both sell your old kids clothes, books and gear as well as buying all of that second hand. They have high standards as to what they will take and check for recalls before accepting any gear. We bought a beautiful Pottery Barn bassinet there at a steep discount, I can't wait to be able to use it again! I buy most of my boys clothes there. I pay particular attention to the brands that I know are good quality since I have 2 boy who are rough on their clothes.
And for FTM feeling like they can't contribute except for questions, please, ask away. I forget who said it, but a STM+ looooves to talk about their experience(s) lol... I don't know what it is, but we all seem to love sharing what worked for us lol
Also, on the second hand topic, I listened to really interesting Fresh Air (NPR) interview with the author of a book about where all of our donated stuff goes, and how society's consumerism is impacting the environment, etc. It was really good, highly recommend it! Def supports a lot of what @Pascal86 has been saying, but there is also a lot of stuff you wouldn't expect in there. You can find it in the Fresh Air podcasts.
My understanding from my first board was not one off threads like the people who do drive bys. If it is a meaningful thread then it works and stays.
I was in an early 2017 BMB that everyone got flamed in early on from rules police (including me). It got insane and 3 people left and one took the spreadsheet and deleted it one month in. It was very snarky but cooled down. We still followed the structure and was easy to follow and there are 55 of us in a very tightknit FB group (many of us have met).
Lots of talk of low participation but in getting on here as new person it seems very boring unless you understand structure and get involved. A unique thread might help.
FWIW I think the safe meds thread was pointless snd actually as some incorrect info I've been meaning to point out/inquire vs my knowledge per dr and Ovias app medicinesectiom. Let's also do a food safety, etc? Not really but I've never see safe meds as thread before.
If a topic truly doesn't fit people correct, won't comment and it moves way down or it gets deleted.