I tried to post a meme, but my work computer seems to hate everything. Oh well.
My FFFC - My doc has set my Due date at 8/1 and I am going to stay here instead of switching to August. I'm sure they're nice over there but I like you guys already! YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME.
I miss the old days of TB, when I was active in 2012 it was a completely different vibe. Currently it feels like a hands holding, super duper, watch your language, clutch those pearls, supportive group, but I miss the snark. And shutting sh!t down when it was ridiculous.
I sometimes lurk the board I would have been a part of had I not mc in Sept. Another lady from my 2012 bmb and I got positive tests back on Sept on the same day, and she's active there. I have mixed feeling about it. I'm sad to not be further along, and then I feel guilty for feeling sad because if I hadn't mc, I wouldn't be pregnant now with this one.
@JessDG I'm glad you're not leaving us! And I can see the meme, actually I see all three of them!
@modoodles I wasn't active on TB until 2017, but I know you're not alone in missing the "good old days" from what I've seen. I like having a supportive group of women to go through this with, but I'm certainly not one to watch my language! haha re: your mc and this current pregnancy, I think it's normal to feel sad about the mc AND happy for your current pregnancy. It seems we often think of those feelings as mutually exclusive, but I think you can feel both at the same time and not only one or the other.
@modoodles yessss! I was active back in 2016 and there was so much more snark, even then. I miss it and think it makes things more interesting. People are waaaay less active now b/c it's kind of boring.
And for those of you who think, "oh, but I like how supportive it is like this!" Things were supportive too. People just actually got called out for dumb shit they said instead of everyone quietly ignoring it and acting like it didn't happen.
@blaf322 I guess that would be my FFFC, I haven’t been super involved here because it’s kind of boring. I don’t really know what to do to make it more interesting though. The whole time I was on TTGP I dreamed of the day I would finally get to move to a BMB and now I’m kinda like 🤷🏼♀️
@blaf322 I definitely find things less active than I am used to. I felt like maybe it was because we were still so new. I didn't join my last BMB until I was about 14 weeks. Maybe we need to have a few more GTKY and some of the other threads to encourage conversation and participation. I'll make an effort to start more of those next week.
I know that it is spelled and pronounced sherBET, but I refuse and continue to call it sherBERT. Sherbet just sounds dumb and pretentious. And I may or may not have eaten said dessert for dinner the past three nights. No shame.
@b_1029 I've been giving it the college try and there are a handful of folks I like/think I'll prob like if I make it to the FB group... and that's why I'm still around
@JessDG I feel like we need folks to be more risky with their UOs and FFFCs... and they need to start calling people out when they say ridiculous things. I'm all for more GTKY's though
I'm very strongly considering a small glass of champagne on new years. And I want my DH to order a bloody mary at breakfast this weekend so I can have a sip. I miss my booze. I haven't had any since before BFP, but I'm kind of craving it right now.
Sex was the worst part about 2 years of TTC for me (other than ya know, the negatives, length of time, etc). Not sure if DH is bad or I’m bad or just too lazy to figure out anything better. I guess it goes to show that quantity doesn’t = quality (as in, the amount of people I’ve been with)...and my lack of interest in sex probably stems from the fact I’ve never O’d?
I definitely agree things are less active than my previous BMB. I also feel like I've really been trying to stick with this and make our board more active, but it is hard when it feels like more people just read than actively participate. I do remember though with my first BMB I was intimidated to post something in the wrong spot b/c it felt like people were quick to jump all over that and dogpile telling you how dumb you are for posting in the wrong spot. I've not gotten that vibe at all this time around though, so not sure what's holding people back from participating...
@b_1029 oh dang! I went a long time without O, but thankfully that changed a few years ago. Now I think we've dtd exactly once since BFP. But I have gotten O by myself a few times. 😂 I'm just too tired to put in the time and effort to go there with DH right now! I also think I've only shaved my legs once since BFP. I'm pretty disgusting these days.
@b_1029 have you taken some solo time to figure out what you like/what gets you off? If you don't have a vibrator, you should definitely get one. Most women don't O from intercourse (the in and out of it all) alone and need some external stimulation
@modoodles haha... I've shaved since but poor DH has not gotten any since before my BFP b/c we weren't allowed part of the time and the rest b/c I haven't felt like it. Fortunately, I go to bed way before him now so solo time is ample... probably for both of us lol
@modoodles so jealous, I was hoping we could take a breather after getting KU 😂
@blaf322 no I haven’t- I think I’m just lazy about the whole thing haha. I really should though because it would make it feel like less of a chore. I have O’d with DH before, just not from sex (which I know is common). Lately when he tries to touch me I’m like no let’s just get to the sex part because it’s usually in the morning on the weekends and I just want to get it over with so I can go back to sleep 🙈
@b_1029 I’ve Od maybe twice in life from intercourse. And it’s not something I can recreate, just a stars aligning thing. So O with my DH is always through external means. I know it bums him out, but I’m fine with it. The times I did O during intercourse weren’t better than otherwise so why would it matter, I guess? But as far as not O at all, I feel like it didn’t really work for me until I figured it out solo, vibrators and such.
I’ll echo others and say we’ve DTD maybe 4 times times since BFP. One weekend we did it twice and in my head I thought, “well that should cover me for a couple weeks.” I hate that feeling but I am just not in the mood at all these days.
@b_1029 does he know you're not getting there or do you fake it? I never Od during sex for a long time, but can now - only on top and not every time. Sometimes I fake it though just to be done with it when I don't want to deal with MH wanting to continue with other activities that'll get me there.
@JessDG yes it is! I’m not bothered by the t word, the c word, any of that. It’s just a word! If you don’t like it, don’t say it.
+1 for team no sex. I ain’t got time for that shit right now. And I don’t want to barf in the middle. I was on pelvic rest with DD from 24w-delivery at 35w and it was glorious. However for team no O, definitely get yourself a BOB! I am much more efficient with that than MH
@JessDG and @kc0711 same with the twatwaffle and c word. I ***almost shared this as an alternate to twatwaffle on Tuesday's post, but wasn't sure I had the right audience 😂
So grateful for this sex convo. We've done it twice since BFP and I know DH wants more but he's being nice/not pressuring. I'm nervous about causing bleeding, and I feel my worst in the mornings and evenings when it's most likely to happen. Also I don't love my physical form right now (I love my body for what it's doing but feel kind of dumpy) which makes me feel a little extra disengaged.... Hoping this turns around in 2nd tri??
@modoodles I'm with you on booze. I want a half a glass of red wine at Christmas, but I'm certain my MIL will judge me... we'll see.
My FFFC is that DH is going to a party tonight and I decided not to go. It's a group of people he's closer with than me and it's all about drinking, which I'm usually all for but would be annoyed there in my current state. So I got some catharsis saying "go without me" and also I'm excited thinking about all the gross things I can do while I'm alone tonight lol most is what takeout I'll get judgment free
This is not at all a juicy FFFC, but I've got nothing else. I have a work potluck lunch today, and I made puppy chow for it. I currently am sitting here with a stomachache because I got hungry and ate a bunch of it at 10:00am. Whoops. And I was just reaching in and grabbing it from the bag instead of pouring it out.... that might get some people who care about germs (not I) outraged? haha
I think we all know I cuss by now. @modoodles I'm definitely the right audience for that I don't know about everyone else, but I think that's hysterical. c u next tuesday doesn't bother me at all.
I think one serving of whatever kind of alcohol you want is totally okay and I don't judge at all.
I do judge people who continue to smoke throughout their pregnancy though. We had a girl on DD's BMB admit she smoked something like half a pack one day. She swore that was the only time she had done it all pregnancy.... but her kid was full term and spent time in the nicu, if I'm remembering correctly, for underdeveloped lungs so I'm 100% sure that was a lie. She was flamed for that... badly.... and we were pretty far along so folks were being a little nicer by then.
@modoodles I had to run a fundraising party last night and give a toast and I had 2-3 sips of champagne. I'm not a big drinker but boy it tasted good after nothing since like...Halloween minus a sip or two at a wedding in early November. I say go for it.
On sex - I think H and I have had sex maybe once since getting KU (and also I haven't shaved my legs in like 2 months mostly because I'm not a regular leg shaver and IDGAF and neither does H). I will say, on the topic of O'ing, when my gyno said "no oral" (the only way I "O" usually) I was like...um....and did my own research. Apparently you can get an embolism if too much air goes up your vagina but like, whoever is in danger of doing that is doing it wrong IMHO
Okay, my real FFFC if we’d like people to stop holding back, is that this group / basically all mom or baby groups gives me so much anxiety when people talk about all the stuff they want to buy for their pregnancy or babies. Some of this stems from my guilt of having a third kid since I know it’s like the worst thing I could do for the environment... but our planet is facing a crisis and the never ending cycle of stuff people keep buying is making me feel crazy. I keep making comments here and there that we could be looking at second hand stuff, sharing with the community, etc., but I I don’t want to just annoy people with that stuff if it’s falling on deaf ears. I just think that future generations are going to have to live drastically different and having everything you want whenever you want it won’t be an option anymore, so we should do our part to share that burden now.
@modoodles I'm also the right audience for that definitely made me laugh!
@mehugg MH has an evening meeting once/month and I LOVE that one night when I can do whatever I want without him haha enjoy!
@blaf322 uhhhh yikes. As someone who also had a full-term baby in the NICU, I can't imagine knowing that something I did likely caused that. That's awful, and I hate when I see pregnant women smoking.
@pocketrose I'm sort of dying picturing someone just blowing into a vagina during oral.
@stlbuckeye132 I tried to participate in May18 and quickly left because of how aggressive people were if you posted in the wrong spot. It just made it stressful and basically impossible to have a thread that didn’t include someone yelling at someone for posting wrong. But I was sad when a few months later I felt like I could use the support and didn’t have a group.
@Pascal86 yeah I was March18 the first time around so about the same time. I agree it was too much. I think it's fine to re-direct people, but you don't need 17 people to do it in a bitchy way. I think @blaf322 has been doing a great job pointing those people to the right spots in a very civil manner!
I'm not sure if this counts... but it's along the lines of what we're talking about...
I haaaate when people big dick swing and are like, "oh, I'm a TTM so this SS thread I just created is totally fine." No. No it's not. And my confession that goes along with this is, I avoid commenting in those threads at all cost and was totally mad at myself when I realized I replied to someone's comment within that Cravings/Aversions thread b/c I was determined to ignore and act like it didn't exist solely b/c I was annoyed that busymom whoever tried to act like she's an exception b/c she's done it before Then I let it go and continued to comment b/c it's not actually that big of a deal lol
@modoodles I allowed myself a little champagne during toasts at a recent wedding I went to. I figured 4-5 sips would probably never even reach baby by the time my body metabolizes it 🤷🏼♀️
@blaf322 I actually usually enjoy SS threads because it’s easier to know what the thread is about, versus things like just a massive question thread with a million different topics in it. I think TB interface definitely isn’t designed to support that (or basically do anything useful ever), and it’s so hard to respond to the thing you’re trying to talk about. But I usually don’t engage in them either because everyone seems so annoyed at them and there seems to be a very specific structure we’re going for.
@Pascal86 I probably won't be buying much for pregnancy/baby. They really don't need much. I will have to get maternity clothes. I gained like 30 lbs prepregnancy, so I basically have nothing that fits. But I know how short term those things last too, so I'm totally happy to share among friends. But I just do it because I hate to spend money, not because I gave much thought to the environment 🙈 I don't go out of my way to avoid learning about it, but it's not something I think about daily either.
FFFC - I may murder anyone I see on social media who spoilers Star Wars as clearly many of us are saving that for our Christmas Day movie (second only to seeing Little Women for a large dose of nostalgia).
@modoodles money is a good reason too! Sometimes I wonder if it’s a regional mindset too - in the PNW it’s top of mind for a lot of people most of the time. But I haven’t lived anywhere else so don’t have a good benchmark of what the mindset is other places.
JessDG
member
Re: FFFC
My FFFC - My doc has set my Due date at 8/1 and I am going to stay here instead of switching to August. I'm sure they're nice over there but I like you guys already! YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME.
@modoodles I wasn't active on TB until 2017, but I know you're not alone in missing the "good old days" from what I've seen. I like having a supportive group of women to go through this with, but I'm certainly not one to watch my language! haha re: your mc and this current pregnancy, I think it's normal to feel sad about the mc AND happy for your current pregnancy. It seems we often think of those feelings as mutually exclusive, but I think you can feel both at the same time and not only one or the other.
And for those of you who think, "oh, but I like how supportive it is like this!" Things were supportive too. People just actually got called out for dumb shit they said instead of everyone quietly ignoring it and acting like it didn't happen.
HAHAHA ok, so my work computer is really the worst. I will have to start threads on mobile from now on if I want to post a pic.
I definitely find things less active than I am used to. I felt like maybe it was because we were still so new. I didn't join my last BMB until I was about 14 weeks. Maybe we need to have a few more GTKY and some of the other threads to encourage conversation and participation. I'll make an effort to start more of those next week.
@JessDG I feel like we need folks to be more risky with their UOs and FFFCs... and they need to start calling people out when they say ridiculous things. I'm all for more GTKY's though
FFFC - I think the word twatwaffle is funny.
@blaf322 no I haven’t- I think I’m just lazy about the whole thing haha. I really should though because it would make it feel like less of a chore. I have O’d with DH before, just not from sex (which I know is common). Lately when he tries to touch me I’m like no let’s just get to the sex part because it’s usually in the morning on the weekends and I just want to get it over with so I can go back to sleep 🙈
So grateful for this sex convo. We've done it twice since BFP and I know DH wants more but he's being nice/not pressuring. I'm nervous about causing bleeding, and I feel my worst in the mornings and evenings when it's most likely to happen. Also I don't love my physical form right now (I love my body for what it's doing but feel kind of dumpy) which makes me feel a little extra disengaged.... Hoping this turns around in 2nd tri??
@modoodles I'm with you on booze. I want a half a glass of red wine at Christmas, but I'm certain my MIL will judge me... we'll see.
My FFFC is that DH is going to a party tonight and I decided not to go. It's a group of people he's closer with than me and it's all about drinking, which I'm usually all for but would be annoyed there in my current state. So I got some catharsis saying "go without me" and also I'm excited thinking about all the gross things I can do while I'm alone tonight lol most is what takeout I'll get judgment free
I think one serving of whatever kind of alcohol you want is totally okay and I don't judge at all.
I do judge people who continue to smoke throughout their pregnancy though. We had a girl on DD's BMB admit she smoked something like half a pack one day. She swore that was the only time she had done it all pregnancy.... but her kid was full term and spent time in the nicu, if I'm remembering correctly, for underdeveloped lungs so I'm 100% sure that was a lie. She was flamed for that... badly.... and we were pretty far along so folks were being a little nicer by then.
On sex -
I think H and I have had sex maybe once since getting KU (and also I haven't shaved my legs in like 2 months mostly because I'm not a regular leg shaver and IDGAF and neither does H). I will say, on the topic of O'ing, when my gyno said "no oral" (the only way I "O" usually) I was like...um....and did my own research. Apparently you can get an embolism if too much air goes up your vagina but like, whoever is in danger of doing that is doing it wrong IMHO
@mehugg MH has an evening meeting once/month and I LOVE that one night when I can do whatever I want without him haha enjoy!
@blaf322 uhhhh yikes. As someone who also had a full-term baby in the NICU, I can't imagine knowing that something I did likely caused that. That's awful, and I hate when I see pregnant women smoking.
@pocketrose I'm sort of dying picturing someone just blowing into a vagina during oral.
I haaaate when people big dick swing and are like, "oh, I'm a TTM so this SS thread I just created is totally fine." No. No it's not. And my confession that goes along with this is, I avoid commenting in those threads at all cost and was totally mad at myself when I realized I replied to someone's comment within that Cravings/Aversions thread b/c I was determined to ignore and act like it didn't exist solely b/c I was annoyed that busymom whoever tried to act like she's an exception b/c she's done it before