This is going to sound horrible, but it’s the truth. I was almost a teensy bit relieved to not be in the June BMB because there are a couple of very strong personalities in there that my very strong opinions might have clashed with.😮 (No one from the TTGP family!)
@keikilove That was my FFFC although there wasn't a chance of getting there for me. I have noticed that as well. It also seems a touch disorganized, but that may just be my anal-retentive nature. When will the July one go up?
@keikilove I'm having the same feelings about that!!
Our TTC Journey
TTC #1: May 2011 BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018 Me: 36 | DH: 39 Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled 9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks 10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN 11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst 3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP 11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
Re: BMB discussion. Yeah I cannot with BMBs. I know a lot of ladies stalk them as a way to keep hope alive or live vicariously or whatever and no judgement at all if you do. Like AT ALL. I get it. But I can't do it. Everytime I have ever popped over to the BMBs to check them out I seem to find every post possible by the cliches.
TW? Just some silly made up quotes of the nonsense I find so made up pregnancy and living children. That doesn't need a TW probably. Better safe than sorry!
Ya know the "I had an IUD and still got knocked up and its twins!" Or the person who is like "I have 5 kids and it is so overwhelming. I'm struggling with them on the daily. But they're all boys and my husband and I need a girl. So we decided to try for a girl. This baby better be a girl. I can't even love another boy hahahahha JK...sorta..." And the mom shaming. Holy moly the mom shaming is intense on some boards. It makes it basically impossible to participate in the board when everyone is a giant box of triggers and they're discussing things that I can't even relate to. Like how is a FTM supposed to participate in the "when did your kid potty train" or whatever discussion.
Maybe this whole rant is my FFFC?
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
I have a love/hate relationship with the BMBs. They're awesome, and yet I'm getting to a point where I feel like I can't share in the joy. Plus all the people like "omg we weren't even trying lol!". Or the 5th timers? *Sigh* no thanks.
Also BMB related, the people who keep hounding the bump admins about opening their BMB - I just want then to chill the hell out, like damn! There was no June waiting room thread and that BMB got created without any prompting, come on! Take a freaking chill pill people.
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
I've recently popped onto the BMBs (did not know they existed until recently) and definitely see the highs and lows of them. I'm not at the point where I'm annoyed by the IUD/5th baby/etc business but it's a good eye opener of dos and don'ts.
I read BMBs only to keep up with TTGP grads but it usually ends up leaving me annoyed so I haven’t been as much lately. It’s usually the advice to FTM threads that send me over the edge. I’m not going to be popular if I ever make it to a BMB...
@inthewoods23 omg yes, I feel the same about the tagging of admins. But I’m probably just jealous and bitter haha
@bows22@b_1029@inthewoods23 when we all join BMBs let's make a pact to start weekly "bitter hag check-in" threads.
My FFFC is I don't do dishes in my house. DH does them all. It's because he's a germophobe and doesn't think I do a good enough job. 😂 He was gone for most of this week - and I had to keep reminding myself that I actually had to do them.
TTC #1: May 2011 BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018 Me: 36 | DH: 39 Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled 9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks 10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN 11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst 3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP 11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
@bows22 I feel like I won't be either! I'll be such a grouch about what people say. I thankfully have never read the advice to FTM threads because I have so many opinions about how people prep for baby.
I'll put it in a spoiler and TW since it's about my PG coworker
I saw on FB that she is selling her VW beetle car. Someone commented asking why and her response was that it doesn't fit a baby and I'm just like you're due in 2 months and you're trying to sell that NOW?? Did you not consider doing that months ago??
Also anyone that doesn't even consider starting to pack their hospital bag over a month before they're due. Drives me nuts.
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
I find looking at the BMBs just ends up making me sad, then jealous... I used to look more for early symptoms and what to expect, but now I just look every few weeks or when someone here goes missing to see if I find them there... I'm joining the bitter hag club ya'll!
And... TW PG mentioned
The longer I'm on this TTC journey the more things irritate/hurt me - I'm sure I'm not alone. It just seems this past week everyone around me, including clients, are having babies or getting KU. And it all seems soooo easy, esp for my close friends who don't even have to blink then are PG. This never bothered me before, but it's really started to wear on me I know I'm fairly new... you are all warriors
ETA to sound less whiny
Me: 33 DH: 36 Dating 4/2008 Married 6/2016 TTC #1 9/2019 BFP 12/13/2019! EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
@ttcbabyodo Of course, because Bog Monsters are the best!!! Sending you extra hugs - anything in specific making you feel that way?
Our TTC Journey
TTC #1: May 2011 BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018 Me: 36 | DH: 39 Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled 9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks 10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN 11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst 3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP 11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
@inthewoods23 that only really bothers me if it’s something like: “I didn’t pack my bag until my water broke 🤷🏼♀️“. It’s like once you are pregnant everything is a competition to prove you aren’t uptight.
Edit - my FFFC...that shrug emoji....oh it makes me ragey.
@bows22 I just don't get why people do that. I mean I've read enough stories about babies popping out in matter of minutes or being born on the side of the freeway because they took too long in getting ready and out the door. Like why not just be at least somewhat prepared. It seems like some people act a little too chill about the whole thing.
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
@bows22 I hate when people respond with just the letter K for "okay"... drives me bananas!!
Our TTC Journey
TTC #1: May 2011 BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018 Me: 36 | DH: 39 Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled 9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks 10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN 11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst 3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP 11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
Omg ladies. Everything about the BMBs... SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The "guess we're having an oops baby" ones in particular trigger all of my rage. I can't seem to stop lurking, but dang.
I actually don't know if I'll even be able to participate in one if I ever get there.
me: 35 / so: 34 | ttc #1 since 9/2018
DX: MFI IVF Cycle #1 February 2020 4 embryos frozen, 1 fresh transfer = CP FET #1 Natural Cycle March 2020 CXL'd due to Covid-19 FET #1 Natural Cycle June 2020 - CP #2 FET #2 Natural Cycle July 2020 - BFP!!!!!! Beta #1 = 273
I am not affected in the same way many ladies here are. But I am fiercely protective of people I care about (enneagram 6, loyalist to a T anxiety and all). When I lurk BMBs I get so mad when I see people that were all over TTGP lamenting their ttc plight of 3 months one day and the next they’re all up in their new BMB.
Makes me ragey. Like, b*tch you were complaining 20 minutes into your ttc journey where people that have really been dealt some crap had to read your garbage. And then if they lurk they get to find your happy little behind in a BMB.
Clearly, I have some feelings about this.
AFM, I feel like this might be a common FFFC but I can’t lurk Jan 2020. And I can’t read their updates in the grad thread. It hurts too much still.
Another FFFC. I don’t know if it’s effect/affect!! I usually just use impact but I cannot for the life of me figure it out. I promise I’m smart. But this has me defeated 😅
@tyrion_ OMG YES to that. Or like the people who were “on” TTGP but never responded to anyone here but now are super involved in the BMB. Good to know you’re only interested in interacting with pregnant people.
also I generally use the rule of effect = noun (I.e. the effect of people coming and whining about their 1 month journey is really draining on me sometimes) and affect = verb (I.e. I should not let others affect my mood so much)
@ttcbabyodo Of course, because Bog Monsters are the best!!! Sending you extra hugs - anything in specific making you feel that way?
Woohoo! And ugh, so many things. Yesterday started Mercury retrograde, and I am feeling it. I'll put it in a spoiler because it's kind of long and trigger-y.
I put this in the TTCAL thread/board, but I had to have a procedure done yesterday to remove the remaining tissue from my uterus (a couple of large clots). It was just supposed to a follow-up US because I was still cramping & bleeding, so I hadn't asked MH to go along with me. They said I could either do the in-room procedure where they suction out the clots, or schedule a D&C. I went with the in-room since I didn't have someone to drive me home. I was sitting alone in the room and had a mini-breakdown waiting for them to prep for the procedure. It went smoothly, and I feel much better today, but it was not pleasant.
Then, this morning, I wake up to a message from my bank's fraud department. Someone had gotten a hold of my debit card number and ran up a bunch of charges totalling nearly $1,000. And since today is the 1st, we have bills due. But, thankfully we have enough in savings to cover everything until my bank reverses the charges (1-2 business days).
Then, almost as soon as I got off the phone with the bank, a close coworker of mine at my internship told me she's 4 wks 5 days pregnant. Back when I was pregnant, she had talked to me about starting to TTC once her husband got home from deployment, so I gave her a bunch of tips on what to do (download FF, start tracking BBT & CM, taking PNVs, etc). So, I knew they were trying, but she literally got KU on their first try. I tried not to let it affect me, but it did. And when I told MH how I was handling it (because he asked) he was kind of a dillhole about it. He asked me why I was sad, that their journey is not our journey, and I literally wanted to go off on him and be like, "I just had my uterus vacuumed out yesterday, so let me be sad about this, okay?!"
On the topic of the grad thread updates, October was the first month (maybe second month) of ladies who I could have been in a BMB with had our first IUI worked. These were ladies I really got to know and it's the first time I realized that people have gone through their entire pregnancies and given birth and I am sadly still here.
Like f*ck it's the feeling I had when my niece came along. It bummed me out when I first realized it had been that long. The whole, these people started after me, got KU first, and have had their babies before I've even gotten KU feeling.
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
PREACH ladies! I also can't/don't/won't lurk the BMBs for all of the above reasons. And I may not even join unless I have some good TTGP grads with me because I just don't think I can deal.
Also, I've been around here so damn long I'm now on my 2nd round of BMBs (like when I first joined and got to know people, I think the first round of grads to leave that I was somewhat attached to would've been in the March 2019 BMBs and now we're into June or July 2020 and that's hella depressing. andplusalso, some of those people may have already come back to TFAS and while I'm happy to see them, it's a real kick in the gut).
My FFFC: I've been using the "we're doing IVF so we can't..." excuse for a few months now even though we only decided on the timeline yesterday. Within reason, of course, but for example my former house cleaner was an old acquaintance of mine and I had a really hard time firing her for being truly terrible at her job so I fibbed and told her I couldn't afford her anymore because we needed the money for IVF. Does that make me a bad person? Probably, on a few different levels. But it gave me an 'out' and I didn't have to burn any bridges.
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
@kiki047 it does NOT make you a bad person at all. Not one bit, so get those thoughts out of your head!!
@ttcbabyodo oh friend, so many hugs to you. Men don't really get it, because they don't fully go through the emotional stress and feelings that we do during this whole process. I've had a few times where I told my DH I had mixed feelings about someone getting KU and his response is always "well, just try and be happy for them". Like, I am happy for them but I'm sad for me! That's crappy about your debit card but thankfully your bank caught it right away and are reversing the charges. It's happened to me twice!! It sucks!
Our TTC Journey
TTC #1: May 2011 BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018 Me: 36 | DH: 39 Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled 9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks 10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN 11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst 3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP 11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
@kiki047 Definitely does not make you a bad person. I have absolutely done the same thing. Don't feel bad, it is what it is. You have to do the things that make you feel good. No one has a right to judge you for that.
@ttcbabyodo ugggghh that's all just too much! DH doesn't understand being so emotional. He's not one to show any of that. So often he doesn't understand why I get so upset and I have to keep telling him "just let my cry about it dammit then I'll get over it". Sometimes my mood is only satisfied if I've moped a proper amount of time! Many hugs ❤️❤️
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
@kiki047 - I can so relate to you using your TTC journey as an excuse to get out of an unpleasant situation. You will receive no judgment from me. We're using our recent loss as a way to get out of hosting Thanksgiving this year, when in reality, we're just burnt out from being the ones to host all the things (Super Bowl Sunday, St Paddy's Day, Memorial Day crawfish boil, Labor Day end of summer cookout, Thanksgiving, etc). Lately, people haven't really been respecting our home, and it gets expensive being the hosts all the time. None of our friends have hosted an event at their homes, save for Galentine's Day back in February, and that was just us girls, so I'm not even sure that counts.
@ttcbabyodo my MIL stopped hosting Thanksgiving a few years back for her side of the family because all the nieces and nephews (at the time being probably 5-12 years of age) left the house a mess. Didn't put away board games they played - apples to apples cards left strewn about the floor in the basement. One of the bedrooms had the closet door off the track, and this was a mirror door so it was heavy. She. Was. TICKED. Now she just does it with us and her mom for a Thanksgiving meal so there's only 7 of us.
Both sides of DH's family keep trying to get us to host and I'm like F that. I've never had to cook a large meal like that nor do I have the patience to spend that kind of time doing it, nor would my fridge for all the food I would need to make. I generally hate big gatherings unless people aren't super rowdy.
I might just pose the question to see if DH wants to go back to the Chattanooga aquarium after Christmas just for the far away quiet time. Ha!
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
@inthewoods23 - A Thanksgiving getaway sounds divine. For a fleeting moment, I had considered booking a quick trip to Disney World for Thanksgiving because we could so use the pick-me-up, but that would be financially irresponsible.
Yes to everything about the BMB’s...and +1 for the bitter hag club, please? I lurk the BMB’s and then realize I’m just torturing myself and getting aggravated for no reason! I also wonder if I will be able to fit in to a BMB with people that had oops pregnancies, or this is their 6th time around...unless a good group of TTGP grads are there, I feel like it will be difficult!
Mine...I didn’t totally understand the 3 month rule when I first joined, but now I 100% get it!! I’m still happy for the people that move on in month 1, 2, or 3...but it’s the happy/sad thing and I’m glad it’s not announced on this board! Honestly, if I had gotten a BFP this cycle, I would have been torn whether to post or not, because I was out 2 of the 4 months I’ve been here...and I would NEVER want to offend anyone here!!
I love reading a thread that could basically be my internal dialogue. Thanks, ladies! You have made me feel not crazy/terrible!
@kiki047 Not to mimic all the other ladies, but no it does not make you a bad person! You have to act in a way that makes you comfortable, especially during this process
@ttcbabyodo I'm so sorry for all the unpleasantness. Be as salty as you like!
@ttcbabyodo gosh I’m so sorry. You are 100000% entitled to be salty and like others have said, husbands just don’t get why it affects us.
@bluetickgal I didn’t fully get it either when I joined but it makes sense now to me
@inthewoods23 same...I remember when I joined and there was that huge June exodus shortly after. Crazy to think that they have almost 6 month olds and I’m hoping to get in July 2020...
@bluetickgirl sure, you were out from physically TTC but you were still here... not just lurking but interacting, posting and SUPPORTING. IMO You would deserve to post on that thread!
Our TTC Journey
TTC #1: May 2011 BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018 Me: 36 | DH: 39 Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled 9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks 10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN 11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst 3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP 11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
@bluetickgal I never understand why people get so snippy about that rule. I get really irked when people are all like but that doesn't bother meeeeee. It's about the community, not you!
The chick who posted in the grad check in thread back in September is an excellent example of why the rule is so important.
That was a warning I do not regret getting for telling her off.
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
@bluetickgal I never understand why people get so snippy about that rule. I get really irked when people are all like but that doesn't bother meeeeee. It's about the community, not you!
The chick who posted in the grad check in thread back in September is an excellent example of why the rule is so important.
That was a warning I do not regret getting for telling her off.
Yussssssssss!!! I'm right there with you. That was bananas.
@inthewoods23 I agree...you can not totally understand something or say that it doesn’t bother you, but still respect it!! That was crazy with that girl in the grad check-in thread....she deserved to be taken down a notch or two!
@ttcbabyodo@bluetickgal I was literally like "OMG you just did EVERYTHING wrong" and fuming over her post.
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
Re: FFFC 11.1
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
TW? Just some silly made up quotes of the nonsense I find so made up pregnancy and living children. That doesn't need a TW probably. Better safe than sorry!
Ya know the "I had an IUD and still got knocked up and its twins!" Or the person who is like "I have 5 kids and it is so overwhelming. I'm struggling with them on the daily. But they're all boys and my husband and I need a girl. So we decided to try for a girl. This baby better be a girl. I can't even love another boy hahahahha JK...sorta..." And the mom shaming. Holy moly the mom shaming is intense on some boards. It makes it basically impossible to participate in the board when everyone is a giant box of triggers and they're discussing things that I can't even relate to. Like how is a FTM supposed to participate in the "when did your kid potty train" or whatever discussion.
Maybe this whole rant is my FFFC?
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Also BMB related, the people who keep hounding the bump admins about opening their BMB - I just want then to chill the hell out, like damn! There was no June waiting room thread and that BMB got created without any prompting, come on! Take a freaking chill pill people.
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
eta @keikilove I had the same thought about June.
@inthewoods23 omg yes, I feel the same about the tagging of admins. But I’m probably just jealous and bitter haha
My FFFC is I don't do dishes in my house. DH does them all. It's because he's a germophobe and doesn't think I do a good enough job. 😂 He was gone for most of this week - and I had to keep reminding myself that I actually had to do them.
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
I'll put it in a spoiler and TW since it's about my PG coworker
Also anyone that doesn't even consider starting to pack their hospital bag over a month before they're due. Drives me nuts.
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
And... TW PG mentioned
ETA to sound less whiny
Dating 4/2008
Married 6/2016
TTC #1 9/2019
BFP 12/13/2019!
EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
Due with baby #2: Feb 2022
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
Edit - my FFFC...that shrug emoji....oh it makes me ragey.
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
The "guess we're having an oops baby" ones in particular trigger all of my rage. I can't seem to stop lurking, but dang.
I actually don't know if I'll even be able to participate in one if I ever get there.
IVF Cycle #1 February 2020 4 embryos frozen, 1 fresh transfer = CP
FET #1 Natural Cycle March 2020 CXL'd due to Covid-19
FET #1 Natural Cycle June 2020 - CP #2
FET #2 Natural Cycle July 2020 - BFP!!!!!! Beta #1 = 273
June Signature Challenge - Favorite TV Quotes
also I generally use the rule of effect = noun (I.e. the effect of people coming and whining about their 1 month journey is really draining on me sometimes) and affect = verb (I.e. I should not let others affect my mood so much)
I put this in the TTCAL thread/board, but I had to have a procedure done yesterday to remove the remaining tissue from my uterus (a couple of large clots). It was just supposed to a follow-up US because I was still cramping & bleeding, so I hadn't asked MH to go along with me. They said I could either do the in-room procedure where they suction out the clots, or schedule a D&C. I went with the in-room since I didn't have someone to drive me home. I was sitting alone in the room and had a mini-breakdown waiting for them to prep for the procedure. It went smoothly, and I feel much better today, but it was not pleasant.
Then, this morning, I wake up to a message from my bank's fraud department. Someone had gotten a hold of my debit card number and ran up a bunch of charges totalling nearly $1,000. And since today is the 1st, we have bills due. But, thankfully we have enough in savings to cover everything until my bank reverses the charges (1-2 business days).
Then, almost as soon as I got off the phone with the bank, a close coworker of mine at my internship told me she's 4 wks 5 days pregnant. Back when I was pregnant, she had talked to me about starting to TTC once her husband got home from deployment, so I gave her a bunch of tips on what to do (download FF, start tracking BBT & CM, taking PNVs, etc). So, I knew they were trying, but she literally got KU on their first try. I tried not to let it affect me, but it did. And when I told MH how I was handling it (because he asked) he was kind of a dillhole about it. He asked me why I was sad, that their journey is not our journey, and I literally wanted to go off on him and be like, "I just had my uterus vacuumed out yesterday, so let me be sad about this, okay?!"
I just want to go home and sleep.
Due with baby #2: Feb 2022
Like f*ck it's the feeling I had when my niece came along. It bummed me out when I first realized it had been that long. The whole, these people started after me, got KU first, and have had their babies before I've even gotten KU feeling.
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
Also, I've been around here so damn long I'm now on my 2nd round of BMBs (like when I first joined and got to know people, I think the first round of grads to leave that I was somewhat attached to would've been in the March 2019 BMBs and now we're into June or July 2020 and that's hella depressing. andplusalso, some of those people may have already come back to TFAS and while I'm happy to see them, it's a real kick in the gut).
My FFFC: I've been using the "we're doing IVF so we can't..." excuse for a few months now even though we only decided on the timeline yesterday. Within reason, of course, but for example my former house cleaner was an old acquaintance of mine and I had a really hard time firing her for being truly terrible at her job so I fibbed and told her I couldn't afford her anymore because we needed the money for IVF. Does that make me a bad person? Probably, on a few different levels. But it gave me an 'out' and I didn't have to burn any bridges.
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
Aug '19: Letrozole + HCG trigger + IUI + prog supp - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Sep '19: 2nd IUI, same protocol - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Dec '19: IVF #1 w/ICSI, PGT. 5 retrieved, 4 fertilized, 3 blasts, 3 PGT-A normal.
Mar '20: FET #1, perfect 5AA blast transferred. BFN.
Sept '20: FET #2, 5BB tsf. 9/18/20 BFP!! EDD: 5/27/21. MMC 11w
Feb ‘21: FET #3, last 6BB blast transferred. BFP, EDD 11/2/21. MC 5w3d.
May '21: IVF #2 w/ICSI, PGT. 8R, 7M, 6F, 6 blasts - 3AB, 3AB, 3BB, 4BB, 5BB, 6BA. Fresh tsf 5/13/21 - BFN.
June '21: PGT-A results = 3 abnormal, 1 low level mosaic. Referred to new REI, had consult with 2nd RE in between.
Sept '21: RPL, immune testing normal
Oct '21: IVF #3 w/IMSI, PGT. 33R, 26M, 23F, 9 blasts (7 day 6, 2 day 7). PGT-A = 5 normal, 1 mosaic
Dec '21: Positive for endometritis, RX Flagyl & Keflex
Jan '22: FET #5 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol incl. PRP, intralipids, prednisone, medrol, nivestym, fragmin - CP
Feb '22: FET #6 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol w/higher doses of pred & fragmin - BFN
Mar '22: Mock cycle for ERA - cancelled, repeat endometrial biopsy instead. Still positive for endometritis. RX ciprofloxacin & amoxicillin.
Apr '22: IVF #4 w/IMSI, PGT. 28R, 23M, 16F, 11 blasts. PGT-A = 6 normal.
June '22: FET #7 - Microdose lupron downreg w/kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol - double embryo transfer. BFN.
July '22: FET #8 - Mini stim w/Puregon + trigger, kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol. BFN.
Sep '22: Taking a break
Dec '22: Attempted abdominal myomectomy, fibroid too close to cervix and major blood vessels. Wasn't removed.
Feb '23: FET #9 - Modified natural w/baby asp, HCG trigger, PIO, PRP, Medrol, HCG wash, embryo glue - BFP!! EDD 11/11/23
@ttcbabyodo oh friend, so many hugs to you. Men don't really get it, because they don't fully go through the emotional stress and feelings that we do during this whole process. I've had a few times where I told my DH I had mixed feelings about someone getting KU and his response is always "well, just try and be happy for them". Like, I am happy for them but I'm sad for me! That's crappy about your debit card but thankfully your bank caught it right away and are reversing the charges. It's happened to me twice!! It sucks!
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
I'm salty AF, yo.
Due with baby #2: Feb 2022
Both sides of DH's family keep trying to get us to host and I'm like F that. I've never had to cook a large meal like that nor do I have the patience to spend that kind of time doing it, nor would my fridge for all the food I would need to make. I generally hate big gatherings unless people aren't super rowdy.
I might just pose the question to see if DH wants to go back to the Chattanooga aquarium after Christmas just for the far away quiet time. Ha!
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
Due with baby #2: Feb 2022
@kiki047 Not to mimic all the other ladies, but no it does not make you a bad person! You have to act in a way that makes you comfortable, especially during this process
@ttcbabyodo I'm so sorry for all the unpleasantness. Be as salty as you like!
@bluetickgal I didn’t fully get it either when I joined but it makes sense now to me
@inthewoods23 same...I remember when I joined and there was that huge June exodus shortly after. Crazy to think that they have almost 6 month olds and I’m hoping to get in July 2020...
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
The chick who posted in the grad check in thread back in September is an excellent example of why the rule is so important.
That was a warning I do not regret getting for telling her off.
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
Due with baby #2: Feb 2022
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause