We don’t really have help, other than my babysitter who is like family. She is predictive and knows boundaries. My in laws are in town, but usually just come over for a visit and get drunk. It’s more work for me than it is help. So, I don’t ask for help. This time though I am going to see if my babysitter can help me a few weeks post partum. Everything is exciting those first few weeks, but once the adrenaline and novelty of everything wears off it can be a little overwhelming getting into a good groove. In a ideal world, this is when I think it would be nice to have help. They can help you catch up on sleep, go with you on those first few outings, and get your home organized and ready for you to do it all by yourself. This time Is when I wish I had a sister or mom to help me. It’s hard adjusting to everything by yourself and it would be nice to have someone there to help workout the kinks.
@craftywitch good for you for setting boundaries! My only rule was my in laws were not allowed to come to the house until we told them it was ok and after that, they had to ask before coming over. My MIL will hold babies all day long but she isn’t going to do any of my house chores. I used her when I needed to shower and nap, alone.
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Similar story here. My MIL stayed with us for about 3 weeks with DD#1 (my family is local) and after a week, I was ready for her to go home. I think it probably depends on your willingness to accept help (as @craftywitch described, I like my space) and the type of help that person can provide. My MIL was incredibly well-intentioned, but it felt like I was entertaining a houseguest versus having an extra pair of hands. Even when she would cook dinner, I didn't care for the food and ended up being even more stressed out when she scratched the bottom of my pans with metal utensils, burned food onto my bakeware, and broke the lid to a casserole dish. To keep her from wreaking more havoc on my kitchen, I would opt to make dinner which just made it so I had ANOTHER mouth to feed when I just wanted to ice my stitches and hold my baby all day.
I can’t remember if this has been mentioned, but is anyone else planning to cloth diaper? I did with my first and am so excited to break out all of the cute prints again!
Wow, THANK YOU, so much, to the many who answered on your thoughts about mom/family/etc help!!! It’s so helpful to hear your perspectives and has made me feel far less anxious. Seriously, I was in tears over this yesterday, so thank you all for real ❤️
Okay so this is baby number 2 for me but I'm 21 so im enjoying drinking my wine from time to time I read that you can drink wine when your pregnant but it feels wrong to think and definitely to ask but i have to know. Can pregnant women have a glass of wine?
@yurriah, the official medical stance is no alcohol in pregnancy. Some women choose to have a small glass of wine on occasion later in pregnancy. Some women in European countries do drink in pregnancy. However, if this is a choice you are making I suggest talking to your doctor and doing your own research from creditable sources (an article on The Bump is not a creditable source, I’m talking actual research reports) and then making your own informed decision.
@yurriah I’d say if it feels wrong then go with your gut and wait till after baby is here. However, if you really want to know if it’s safe I’d ask your doctor. I’m sure they get that question all the time since there’s a lot of different opinions out there and you should always feel comfortable talking things out with your provider.
Further to my earlier comment, Your doctor will probably tell you you shouldn’t drink it. But I know plenty of people who have sips here and there and don’t worry about it. I can’t say I haven’t done it. I wouldn’t go drinking a full glass, or several glasses. But a few sips is not exactly uncommon. But you have to make the best decision for yourself and your baby. But like @leksiL said, there’s only a couple of months left at this point.
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@lanie1000 I have the same pet peeves re: using metal utensils on non-stick pans and burning bakeware. Or my H cooking a pizza directly on the oven rack, cheese melting, burning at the bottom of the oven, fire alarm going off and my oven being a mess. Use the pizza pan! FYI, when I use the self cleaning function on the oven, I include the bakeware (metal) with burnt food on them. They come out looking brand new!
TTC#1 10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml) 11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged 1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele 4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery 6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020 Baby girl born 2/27/2020 7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
@jvk2012 re: some women in European countries drinking during pregnancy, I asked a doctor friend of mine about this a while back and she told me that the alcohol available in other countries tends to have a lower alcohol content than what we have in North America.
@TennisLove30 We cloth diapered DS birth to potty training and plan to do it again. I think we had a thread going for a second, but feel free to do a refresher/ongoing one. I’ve got the newborn diapers out, but can’t remember how many we used/needed last time. I need to do a count and see if we need anything added.
@jvk2012@mandk1233 I come from a Western European country known for its great wines and drinking during pregnancy is a big no no. There is even a national hotline for moms struggling with alcohol and drug addiction.
ETA: Ethanol is what is dangerous to the fetus. It is present in all alcoholic drinks, weak or strong.
TTC#1 10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml) 11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged 1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele 4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery 6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020 Baby girl born 2/27/2020 7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
@shellbellbenko thank you! I don’t know why I feel like every decision requires a research initiative... 😂. I took the dang Tylenol and felt a lot better. 💌🤰🏻
I love seeing the 3D scans of baby, but is that something that is generally a routine thing now for anatomy scans? Or is it generally an add-on with the us, or done at a boutique place?
@babyroma I started at a different hospital with DS1, and a 3D was not offered. At the hospital I am at now, they just turned on a 3D setting at the end. They scanned in 2D and somehow turned it into a 3D image.
@jvk2012@daffodil_shoe
Interesting! I kind of want one done but I'm not really willing to go to a boutique and pay for it Guess I'll keep my fingers crossed that I get a fun tech?
Not really sure where to put this. So I guess not all was perfect at our AS yesterday because the nurse practitioner called me tonight. 1) Baby has 1 artery and 1 vein in the umbilical cord instead of 2 arteries and 1 vein 2) The cord attaches to the edge of my placenta so there is concern about baby getting enough nutrients. 3) Baby’s stomach was empty on the ultrasound instead of full of amniotic fluid which could just be a matter of timing with the scan or could indicate something else. I am going back in 4 weeks for an ultrasound with MFM but meanwhile I am freaking out.
I guess my question is if any STM+ have any experience with any of this.
@jvk2012 FTM so no helpful experience but I just wanted to send you a big virtual hug Is there any possibility that an earlier scan would yield more information sooner? Four weeks seems like forever to wait on something stressful.
@Swiftlet, I think with all of these the only thing they can do is wait. When it gets closer to delivery ultrasounds can help decide if if’s time to induce/have a csection but this early it seems to be just a waiting game
@Swiftlet I also hate 3D u/s. I find them super creepy
@jvk2012 I never experienced it but I know having 2 vessels total is, while not normal, one of the more common abnormalities to find on u/s. Usually it requires more monitoring. My friend had it and her MFM said most babies have no problems and are absolutely fine.
@jvk2012 I’m sorry to hear this. I don’t have experience from my own pregnancies, but obviously have come across it at work a few times. The two-vessel cord babies I’ve seen were on the smaller side, but healthy. It may cause IUGR, in which case they may want to induce early. There are other risks, but I haven’t seen them.
@jvk2012 No experience with this either, but I just want to say I am so sorry you are dealing with this. The waiting is so hard. I wish there was more I could say to help, but please know I am thinking about you.
Re: The Great Question Thread
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged
1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020
7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
TTC #2
9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
ETA: Ethanol is what is dangerous to the fetus. It is present in all alcoholic drinks, weak or strong.
10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged
1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020
7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
TTC #2
9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022
I guess my question is if any STM+ have any experience with any of this.
@jvk2012 I never experienced it but I know having 2 vessels total is, while not normal, one of the more common abnormalities to find on u/s. Usually it requires more monitoring. My friend had it and her MFM said most babies have no problems and are absolutely fine.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020