@bookworm492 I'm sort of in the weird transition in life where a fraction of friends are super interested in the marriage/baby section, and then the other are living in 1 bedroom condos downtown Chicago and clubbing every weekend haha...so I think some people just don't get it. The part that makes me mad is that people are so stuck in their bubble that they can't put themselves in someone else's shoes. And it sounds like your cat will be in a better place though...I know when we lost my family dog it was devastating and we barely liked him lol.
@bookworm492 I’m thinking of you today, so sorry about your cat. As for the friend, the back and forth would annoy me and turn me off to the friendship too. Unless she opened up and laid it out as to why she disappeared and what may make her do that again I would keep her at a distance. Don’t let it keep you from enjoying the pregnancy! Infertility is hard but her struggles have nothing to do with others.
@ktmaesim One of my best friends moved to Nashville and bartends. She’s up all night, asleep all day, and we’ve grown apart. She says she’d rather die than get married and raise kids. She was at the hospital when I had ods but I don’t even expect her to meet this baby. Whatever 🤷🏼♀️
@bookworm492 I’m so sorry about your cat and about your situation with your friends. I have a fourteen year old cat who is on thyroid medication and we were just saying last night that he isn’t going to be around forever. In terms of your friends, I didn’t lose any friends during my pregnancy with my daughter but afterwards one of my close friends who was so excited about my pregnancy just stopped contacting me. She came over when my daughter was about two months old and then I didn’t see her again until my daughter was two, when one of our friends was visiting from abroad. I think the situation with your friend is extra complicated because of her infertility issues. Hopefully she just needs some time. One of my best friends told me she was pregnant with her fourth while I was in my one year wait after chemo from my molar and it was hard to hear but I was still happy for her and asked her how she was doing. Now I’m rambling. I hope she comes around.
@ktz17 I was in practically the same situation, I need chemo and a wait from a molar and then had two more miscarriages. I was bitter. I will be the first to admit that. If we weren’t close and you were pregnant, you were unfollowed on social media and avoided. Yet, both my SIL’s became pregnant during that time, and while still hard, I was happy for them. I went to baby showers and texted how they were doing. @bookworm492 I am sorry your friend is being the way she is, especially since it seems that you are trying to be sensitive. My one SIL texted me when she found out, to give me time to deal with my emotions, and I remember calling her and being so happy for her but was bawling for myself at the same time, but her joy wasn’t changing my crappy situation.
Yeah, she muted me on all social media-- we're still friends on there, but she went from liking or commenting on every post to never liking or commenting on anything (NONE of my posts are pregnancy related, I don't plan on a social media announcement) so I assume it's muted. She has had 3 pregnancies over 2 years now, 4 miscarriages as one was twins. They went to fertility specialist, who treated her with meds and surgery and last I heard she was given the OK to try again and the specialist thought the treatment should stop all the miscarriages.
@holly321 I didn't know chemo was a treatment for a molar pregnancy, that sounds just awful. I'm sorry.
@KTZ17 I hope your cat can still live a happy and comfortable life! My cat has kidney failure that has progressed to the point that palliative care doesn't help. This happened over the course of a few weeks from initial diagnosis.
@bookworm492 I am sorry about your cat. That’s always a hard decision to make. And not all molar pregnancy needs chemo, just persistent ones and cancerous ones.
Have any of the mama's here had issues with muscles spasms in your back? I spent all afternoon yesterday in the ER it was the most horrible pain I've even experienced and I feel like I've been beat by a baseball bat today. Still can't walk much with out my husband's assistant and I unfortunately am getting no help from my new OB. As we just moved and they weren't going to get me in until the 30th of this month I've got them to move it up to the 23rd but that's all. I need some relief and I have no idea what to do...
@cassamumba314 I have some serious back issues that have nothing to do with pregnancy, the biggest thing that has helped has been sleeping on my side with a firm pillow between my knees. I would see an orthopedic doctor in the mean time if I were you.
@cassamumba314 I've had chronic back pain since a car accident in 2016, and it's been flaring up with this pregnancy. I actually have been going to physical therapy for it--this might be something to look into. Combining that with yoga has helped me stay ahead of the pain. Also, I got a snoogle pregnancy pillow and have been sleeping with that every night, which has been a complete game changer. Hope your pain subsides soon!
@ktz217 I was in the group. I had to get out of it though. A few months after finishing chemo (I only needed a couple of months, I had a partial, so my numbers were never really high) I had to have my tonsils removed to check them for cancer, at the same time, there was a woman in the group who wasn’t responding to treatment. As selfish as it felt, it made everything too real and I couldn’t take it.
@cassamumba314 I had back spasms with my first pregnancy and they were no fun! There were days where I couldn’t stand for more than about 5 minutes without crying. See if you can get a referral for a woman’s health PT. I did this and it helped so much! I basically had to relearn how to walk because my bottom half was so thrown off. Tylenol and ice packs can also be your friend. I hope you get some relief soon!
I pulled my round ligament turning in bed last night. Holy cow was that painful. it took me about half hour to fall back asleep and was still sore this morning. The pain is subsiding now. I honestly thought perhaps the placenta detached at first it hurt so badly.
FTM here, and I just had the weirdest thing happen. I was lying on my side and felt this strong rhythmic jolting on the left side of my belly. It was much more powerful than I’ve ever felt the baby, and it happened every second so seemed too fast for hiccups. I could just tell it wasn’t my heartbeat. It was so strong that my DH could see it happening from several feet away. Then after a minute (and me pulling my shorts back to get a better look at what on Earth was happening) it shivered for a second and stopped.
Since then I’ve felt the baby move, so it seems like she’s okay. Could this have been my own belly muscle spasming? Did the baby have a seizure? It was not painful, just super weird. Anyone got any clues???
@ashorkey that sounds exactly like what happened to me. I have a referral for PT and will be looking into massage therapy too my whole upper body is crooked now it's so weird.
Question about back sleeping: When is this going to get uncomfortable? I’m hitting 20 weeks today, and I still find myself rolling off of my sides to lay on my back from time to time. Lots of advice posts have said that your body would trigger you to either wake up or roll over because of pressure caused by the uterus pressing on some vein, lowering blood flow to you or baby. I’m still not really noticing that yet. Is it because my bump isn’t super pronounced yet? What have you ladies noticed?
@cpk3535 I was wondering the same thing. I've been sleeping on my sides as a precaution now, but I think it's mostly because my Snoogle is doing such a great job at keeping me in place. But I'm still able to do exercises while laying on my back, and haven't felt lightheaded or uncomfortable yet. I think there will come a point, and probably soon given this bump's growth, that it will happen, but right now, I'm not feeling it either. I'm giving myself until 22 weeks unless I feel something sooner, then I'm stopping with the exercises while on my back.
@rjgmcmanus@cpk3535 I actually asked my doc about sleeping positions last month at my checkup and He said back sleeping was fine. He said the things out there about the back sleeping being bad is sort of “eh-made up?” Idk! He was not concerned at all. I have also heard some ladies sleep somewhat on the stomach until they’re 34 weeks. I’ve mostly been sleeping with my body pillow on my side but sometimes I end up on my back but I’m not too worried about it.
@cpk3535@rjgmcmanus@ktmaesim I also think it's no problem at all as long as you're comfortable. I haven't felt any lightheadedness from it, but if I'm on my back for long I do tend to feel some discomfort and pressure.
@cpk3535@rjgmcmanus@ktmaesim@blueskychicago12 I don’t want to be alarmist, *TW* but there have been four recent studies that all seemed to show the risk of stillbirth is doubled by sleeping on your back.
However, all the studies looked at the risk of sleeping on your back *after 28 weeks* so it’s possible that there’s no real danger until that point in pregnancy.
This is is a very balanced article that looks at the issue in depth: www.expectingscience.com/2018/05/01/back-sleeping-and-stillbirth-revisited-a-reason-for-caution-or-a-few-extra-pillows/amp/
I've been sleeping on my sides (which I normally do anyway) but I'm find my hips have really been hurting - maybe from being in contact with the bed? I'm ordering a pillow soon to hopefully have better alignment.
I sleep half on my side and half on my stomach. I can not sleep on my back on a good day, it makes me so stiff, but I don’t look forward to sleeping on my side fully. I remember being so excited when I was about to have dd, so I could go back to sleeping on my stomach, then she ended up being a csection and stomach sleeping wasn’t comfortable for many more weeks.
Am I am I the only one who thinks it’s super rude to ask “was this planned?” when you announce your pregnancy?? We told our families yesterday and two family members asked me that. My response was “What the F kind of question is that?!?” We’re married 12 years and have two kids already, so it really THAT outrageous to have a 3rd kid?!? And is it anyone else’s business if it wasn’t planned?!? It really burns my ass.
@McKBaby yeah it is. I wasn't married when I got pregnant. I actually just got married yesterday at city hall. So I feel awfully defensive about it I admit. It was planned! We just didn't mind if the pregnancy happened before or after we decided to go to city hall. And my parents, who do not live nearby, wanted to come to the ceremony, so we had to accommodate their travel plans.
@McKBaby@bookworm492 (congrats!) I also think it's totally rude. We've gotten the question but more in regards to timing (baby's due on boxing day) like "did you plan that" and then I'm like "No. *Tw* I had a MC last december and this was as soon as we could get pregnant after."
I feel like people just really don't think about all the factors and it sucks that they can be so inconsiderate.
@McKBaby I’ve had just a couple people ask me that, but I think it’s totally insane. It feels like they’re asking about my sex life. Why is it anyone’s business?!
@McKBaby what’s even worse (in my opinion) is strangers asking! I’ve been asked a few times, it’s really bizarre. People are bat shit crazy... our family friend who has twins always gets asked if they were natural, her go to response is “no, they’re aliens”.”
I hate the “was it planned” questions. TW most people knew we have been trying, and it has been a long journey, with molar pregnancy and other losses, but I have still been asked was it planned. No shit it was planned. Or I was asked if we were trying for a Christmas baby, um no, I was trying for an April 2018 baby, but thanks.
I had some one kind of accidentally stumble into it the other day - they asked if it was my first pregnancy and I was like " uh ... I.. this will be my first kid"
I don't think they meant any harm but also a reminder of how different questions can seem the same but be totally different.
We’ve had the “was it planned” question a lot. Our DS is only 11 months old (yesterday). People assume it was an accident. It wasn’t. We were trying. I’m old and running out of time for kids. Ideally we would have spaced them out more but we are out of time. So 14 months apart it is. I find it super rude to ask too.
Weve been super private about our IVF journey and our families know we’ve been “trying” for several years so they haven’t asked but I have had a couple strangers. It brings me a weird type of joy to pop off “ Actually yes, several thousand dollars and a hundred needle sticks and here we are!” They end up feeling like the ass they are after that.
I’ve had that question asked too. The answer is no! She was a surprise! my husband and I are just as thrilled. We we’re planning to start trying in the fall. So I just say she was determined to come earlier! Planned or unplanned, a baby is a blessing! Just congratulate the parents and move on. Ha.
Re: QUESTION Thread
@ktmaesim One of my best friends moved to Nashville and bartends. She’s up all night, asleep all day, and we’ve grown apart. She says she’d rather die than get married and raise kids. She was at the hospital when I had ods but I don’t even expect her to meet this baby. Whatever 🤷🏼♀️
@holly321 I didn't know chemo was a treatment for a molar pregnancy, that sounds just awful. I'm sorry.
@KTZ17 I hope your cat can still live a happy and comfortable life! My cat has kidney failure that has progressed to the point that palliative care doesn't help. This happened over the course of a few weeks from initial diagnosis.
And not all molar pregnancy needs chemo, just persistent ones and cancerous ones.
Since then I’ve felt the baby move, so it seems like she’s okay. Could this have been my own belly muscle spasming? Did the baby have a seizure? It was not painful, just super weird. Anyone got any clues???
However, all the studies looked at the risk of sleeping on your back *after 28 weeks* so it’s possible that there’s no real danger until that point in pregnancy.
This is is a very balanced article that looks at the issue in depth:
www.expectingscience.com/2018/05/01/back-sleeping-and-stillbirth-revisited-a-reason-for-caution-or-a-few-extra-pillows/amp/
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19
I also think it's totally rude. We've gotten the question but more in regards to timing (baby's due on boxing day) like "did you plan that" and then I'm like "No. *Tw* I had a MC last december and this was as soon as we could get pregnant after."
I feel like people just really don't think about all the factors and it sucks that they can be so inconsiderate.
@bookworm492 congrats on your marriage!
opinion) is strangers asking! I’ve been asked a few times, it’s really bizarre. People are bat shit crazy... our family friend who has twins always gets asked if they were natural, her go to response is “no, they’re aliens”.”
I don't think they meant any harm but also a reminder of how different questions can seem the same but be totally different.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
@bookworm492 Congrats on your marriage! (Was it planned?
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19