@kangstadt sorry you're going through those, especially now! I used to get anxiety attacks and while I haven't had one in awhile, I, too, am on zoloft for depression. It's been a little rough lately and I'm worried about PPD. I think the only good thing is that it seems like we are all aware of the situation and hopefully that means we get more help if necessary. Thinking about you!
@kangstadt sending positive thoughts your way and hoping that your day improves. Anxiety is so hard to deal with and always strikes at the worst times (go figure). I haven't heard about Benadryl but I would say it's a great tip and it never hurts to try something that might help
Thank you everyone. DH is going to call the eye doctor in the morning.
I definitely think being aware is a good preventative (or maybe a better word is just being prepared) measure for PPD. You at least know to be on the lookout and can make sure your SO is also on the lookout to offer help. I had PPD last time and my anxiety is definitely worse this time, so I'm worried as well how postpartum will go.
@kangstadt thinking of you anxiety attacks suck! I hope you're feeling better. I dont get the right chest thing I don't think. Sounds scary! I had to take the city bus this week and I felt like crap weak amd light headed (pregnancy is killing me) and suddenly I felt like I couldn't breath no matter how hard I concentrated I wasnt taking in enough oxygen. So I'm on the bus and silently panicking because I cant breath and this older guy gets on and starts making sexual comments at me and asking me personal questions. By the time I get to my destination I have to find somewhere to be alone amd break down.
@stefanielyn1991 that’s so creepy. I hope you found a safe place to collect yourself!
@kangstadt i’ve been meaning to get back to you on the parents front, and on the anxiety front. How is DH’s eye? Would it help relieve some maternal pressure to bring your parents over for some nursery-finishing/DS-visiting time? And yay for one day of the work week down.
Oh, do you think that scaling back your caretaking of your nephew would make things seem more manageable? It’s reasonable to say that you’re at the point in pregnancy where it’s just too much. And when I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression, taking things off my plate is usually the only thing that works. Better to do so gently than let everything crash down like I usually do!
I think i’ve talked before about my self-triage of switching to a have-done list (instead of a to-do list) when I’m feeling overwhelmed. It might help you if you’re struggling to make it through days and don’t want to medicate. On the other hand, if you’re struggling to make it through days, take your DH’s suggestion of meds seriously. It’s very much worth discussing with your doctor whether specific meds crossing the placenta at this point has as severe an effect as the class schedule suggests - ie you’re not going to create a missing limb at this point. It’s also worth realistically assessing with your DH just how badly the anxiety is affecting you right now, and working together to figure out the tipping point where meds become the preferred option.
@stefanielyn1991, that's definitely creepy and I hope you're feeling better today!
@lyse01, I decided to turn down any cake orders for March as one way of clearing my plate (I've had to turn down two now). I'm not sure what to do about my nephew since my sister has no other babysitting option and I feel that familial sense of responsibility that says I can't leave her hanging. I know logically I should just be able to say "I want this time with DS before baby comes," but it's hard since her kid is really pretty easy to watch at this point so I feel like I can handle it so I should.
I'm hoping my parents come over Thursday for some time with DS. I managed to get the first coat of color on the walls of the nursery, so I'm actually feeling positive about how close we are to being done with that.
So my sister surprised me yesterday by telling me that after next week she requested to only work evenings, so I'll have a few weeks before my due date without needing to babysit.
Anxiety today is still bad. But I'm going to mention it at my checkup and we'll see what my doctor suggests.
@kangstadt That's great news! I haven't been having much anxiety, but depression has been somewhat bad. I've been grumpy and extra sensitive about almost everything. I see my therapist Saturday which is way overdue! I hope I can get at least one more session with her before LO comes, but she is always booked up.
Good luck, @rennie1108. I haven't found a therapist I like in my area, and unfortunately options are limited here. I forget if you're early or late April, but I hope you get time to get another appointment in!
I've been having anxiety attacks the last couple of nights. Not as bad as normal, but they seemingly come out nowhere when DH and I are talking at night. Monday night it was about us establishing rules for visitors (something that I've been stressed about because we live pretty far from family and as much as I want them all to meet our son, I also want them to remember that I'm a FTM who will likely be easily overwhelmed by too many people). Then last night we did our taxes and found out that not only are we not getting back as much as we thought in a refund (we knew that was a possibility), we owe about as much as we would normally receive back in a refund. It really isn't that big of a deal, we are pretty comfortable and have the money to pay it, it was just a huge letdown because I was hoping to use any kind of return to put extra payments down on our car (we're trying to pay it off before I finish maternity leave) or use it for the baby stuff we're still going to have buy. I'm feeling better today, but I'm so anxious about money - especially with a baby on the way - that it triggered my anxiety and I couldn't eat because I was going to be sick if I tried.
I also reached back out to my therapist who I haven't seen since January because when my dad had his heart attack I had to cancel an appointment to go see him and then I forgot to reach back out until last week to re-schedule and she went out of town. She set me up with an appointment, but it isn't for 2 weeks (although she said she would let me know if she has any cancellations next week). So I'm basically trying to handle my anxiety without having any more major anxiety attacks until then - although DH has been truly wonderful in listening to me when I say I need to talk through them.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, but it's been an overwhelming couple of days. Hopefully it gets better from here. Sending positive thoughts to everyone.
My panic attacks have come to a peak this past week. I think because my main fear is my body giving out on me in a public place and my body is on its last leg right now lol i always feel tons more anxious if I'm not feeling physically well. I've had lots of dizzy spells which doesnt help!
I literally ran out of church Sunday because the walls were closing in and my heart was racing so bad. Ugh.
My patience is non existent and my anger is so bad right now. I'm a very nice person I promise lol but anxiety makes me snap, especially at poor DH. He has been an angel and so helpful but I still snap. With my pelvic pain I cant clean as much which drives me CRAZY because I need things clean. My DH has been taking over cleaning and I find myself criticizing him.. I just think, wow I'm so mean.. hes just helping! Pregnancy doesnt bring out my good side.. lol
@jlklec19, I hope your therapist can fit you in sooner! Money stress is a really big trigger for me too this time around. I don't want to go back to work immediately after 8-12 weeks, but I may have to just so we can have my income back (I get unpaid leave). Try to take deep breaths and take it one day at a time. Does it help if you make a chart or list of how long until big things (like the car) can be paid off, or what you can cut back on to save some money in the meantime?
@elmich3, my anxiety presents as anger/snapping a lot of the time as well. I feel like people don't really think of that as a symptom, but it totally is. Hugs, and same advice as above, try to take it one day at a time and give yourself as much time to yourself or doing things you enjoy as possible. I've had to mentally cut myself some slack because I haven't been keeping up with the housework, but I remind myself that I'm literally growing a human being. It's okay to not be 110% on all the time!
Seems like such a simple concept but it is surprisingly difficult to grasp.. we are growing a *human*.. we need to give ourselves all the grace in the world right now! Thank you @kangstadt
Thanks @kangstadt - that ended up being exactly what I had to do. I went through my monthly budget and started eliminating little costs to ease my anxiety. I also calculated out roughly how many paychecks I have between now and my due date so I can have a rough idea of how much I can put in savings, put towards paying off debt, etc. My poor DH was trying really hard to comfort me, but the only thing that actually helped was crunching the numbers (maybe a little too obsessively), but I also just keep telling myself that the tax thing is an inconvenience, it's not world shattering like it would have been even a couple of years ago.
Thankfully last night was a much better, much more low key night with no anxiety attacks - hopefully that was just a random occurrence because for the most part I've been pretty chill in the anxiety arena during this pregnancy (compared to pre-pregnancy). I think it's just because it's getting to the end now.
@elmich3, we're always our own harshest critics, especially as moms I've found! I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I don't have to be superwoman everyday, but it's still hard to accept mistakes or "failures." My OB reminded me to keep my expectations very low for the first few months - if everyone is fed and relatively clean, I'm succeeding, haha.
@jlklec19, that's how my husband is too, he'll randomly get really stressed out and have to look at the budget and look at numbers to finally feel relaxed again. I'm just trying not to think about my maternity leave, haha. I went ahead and paid the whole amount of our car insurance today instead of splitting it into two payments because I figure it's better to do so now while I still have a few paychecks coming in!
@kangstadt normally that's how my DH is! I'm not normally good with numbers, but it seems to be the solution to helping snap me out of my anxiety lately. I'm sorry that your maternity leave is stressing you out before it's even here - sending you lots of positive thoughts.
Re: Mental Health Support Group
I definitely think being aware is a good preventative (or maybe a better word is just being prepared) measure for PPD. You at least know to be on the lookout and can make sure your SO is also on the lookout to offer help. I had PPD last time and my anxiety is definitely worse this time, so I'm worried as well how postpartum will go.
I had to take the city bus this week and I felt like crap weak amd light headed (pregnancy is killing me) and suddenly I felt like I couldn't breath no matter how hard I concentrated I wasnt taking in enough oxygen. So I'm on the bus and silently panicking because I cant breath and this older guy gets on and starts making sexual comments at me and asking me personal questions. By the time I get to my destination I have to find somewhere to be alone amd break down.
@kangstadt i’ve been meaning to get back to you on the parents front, and on the anxiety front. How is DH’s eye? Would it help relieve some maternal pressure to bring your parents over for some nursery-finishing/DS-visiting time? And yay for one day of the work week down.
Oh, do you think that scaling back your caretaking of your nephew would make things seem more manageable? It’s reasonable to say that you’re at the point in pregnancy where it’s just too much. And when I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression, taking things off my plate is usually the only thing that works. Better to do so gently than let everything crash down like I usually do!
I think i’ve talked before about my self-triage of switching to a have-done list (instead of a to-do list) when I’m feeling overwhelmed. It might help you if you’re struggling to make it through days and don’t want to medicate. On the other hand, if you’re struggling to make it through days, take your DH’s suggestion of meds seriously. It’s very much worth discussing with your doctor whether specific meds crossing the placenta at this point has as severe an effect as the class schedule suggests - ie you’re not going to create a missing limb at this point. It’s also worth realistically assessing with your DH just how badly the anxiety is affecting you right now, and working together to figure out the tipping point where meds become the preferred option.
@lyse01, I decided to turn down any cake orders for March as one way of clearing my plate (I've had to turn down two now). I'm not sure what to do about my nephew since my sister has no other babysitting option and I feel that familial sense of responsibility that says I can't leave her hanging. I know logically I should just be able to say "I want this time with DS before baby comes," but it's hard since her kid is really pretty easy to watch at this point so I feel like I can handle it so I should.
I'm hoping my parents come over Thursday for some time with DS. I managed to get the first coat of color on the walls of the nursery, so I'm actually feeling positive about how close we are to being done with that.
Anxiety today is still bad. But I'm going to mention it at my checkup and we'll see what my doctor suggests.
How is everyone else hanging in there?
I also reached back out to my therapist who I haven't seen since January because when my dad had his heart attack I had to cancel an appointment to go see him and then I forgot to reach back out until last week to re-schedule and she went out of town. She set me up with an appointment, but it isn't for 2 weeks (although she said she would let me know if she has any cancellations next week). So I'm basically trying to handle my anxiety without having any more major anxiety attacks until then - although DH has been truly wonderful in listening to me when I say I need to talk through them.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, but it's been an overwhelming couple of days. Hopefully it gets better from here. Sending positive thoughts to everyone.
I literally ran out of church Sunday because the walls were closing in and my heart was racing so bad. Ugh.
My patience is non existent and my anger is so bad right now. I'm a very nice person I promise lol but anxiety makes me snap, especially at poor DH. He has been an angel and so helpful but I still snap. With my pelvic pain I cant clean as much which drives me CRAZY because I need things clean. My DH has been taking over cleaning and I find myself criticizing him.. I just think, wow I'm so mean.. hes just helping! Pregnancy doesnt bring out my good side.. lol
@elmich3, my anxiety presents as anger/snapping a lot of the time as well. I feel like people don't really think of that as a symptom, but it totally is. Hugs, and same advice as above, try to take it one day at a time and give yourself as much time to yourself or doing things you enjoy as possible. I've had to mentally cut myself some slack because I haven't been keeping up with the housework, but I remind myself that I'm literally growing a human being. It's okay to not be 110% on all the time!
Thankfully last night was a much better, much more low key night with no anxiety attacks - hopefully that was just a random occurrence because for the most part I've been pretty chill in the anxiety arena during this pregnancy (compared to pre-pregnancy). I think it's just because it's getting to the end now.
@jlklec19, that's how my husband is too, he'll randomly get really stressed out and have to look at the budget and look at numbers to finally feel relaxed again. I'm just trying not to think about my maternity leave, haha. I went ahead and paid the whole amount of our car insurance today instead of splitting it into two payments because I figure it's better to do so now while I still have a few paychecks coming in!
Almost to the end ladies. Can't believe tomorrow is the first day of March!