Ugh sorry @harveyisaboysname. I think you're right. You need to talk to that mom and let her know what this kid is saying! Don't forget about that comment when she asked you what you're getting paid. Then, depending on how the mom reacts, you can make a decision and feel good about it. You're so much stronger than I am. I would have walked out that door yesterday and not looked back.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
Also cracking up about all the buttswab comments. And vaguely wondering if I'm just apathetic at this point or what since I don't have strong feelings about it one way or the other . Of course, if it wasn't for hemorrhoids, I probably wouldn't think twice about it. Doctors are gonna be all up in that area soon for delivery anyway! I just remind myself they've seen it all dozens of times, so don't worry FTMs. I definitely lost a lot of my self-consciousness about people seeing me naked or doing medical checks after giving birth, lol.
@harveyisaboysname okay that 6 year old clearly needs some better boundaries from her parents. The way she's speaking to you is wildly inappropriate and rude! But it doesn't sound like her parents are very good at setting boundaries for her in general, from what you've described. Glad you only have another month of this to go.
I'm so slow and tired this week. I'm getting my work for the day done, but at a freaking snails pace. Ugh.
We're still looking to buy a van. It's been just an awful process. We were originally looking to buy something a bit older just through a private sale and pay cash because the thought of a car payment while on mat leave terrifies me. But, after many failed inquiries and so many terrible used vans on the market (super old, or worn down) I finally bit the bullet and applied for financing yesterday. It'll still be a used van but a lot newer than we were looking at and buying through a dealership will take away a lot of the headache of trying to find, look, compare, inspect one by myself. I keep telling myself it's no big deal, just triple my original budget...it's fine...it's fine. But now I'm checking my phone and email every 2 minutes for a response from them as to what we can get. It's exciting and scary!
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@harveyisaboysname has she always been this rude? Could it be that she knows you are going to leave her and she is just jealous? Maybe she is mad about you leaving and taking it out on you?!
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Ah guess I need a wax if we are around the time for group b strep tests and vaginal checks. Don’t remember having vaginal checks with DD until labor but definitely remember the butthole swab. Don’t need a hairy crack for that
I am trying so hard to avoid a car payment but we may need to replace my car here much sooner then anticipated. It overheated going down the street to Target last night, but didn’t have issues to and from work yesterday. DH and my dad are going to work on it this weekend but I dread the conversation we will have if they can’t figure it out or it’s an unreasonable amount to fix it. I’m so over car issues, like yea we may just have a bum thermostat and it’s $50 to solve or it could be the head gasket.. 😵
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@kosmo86 eh I don’t remember her being this bad when I first started. She usually gives me cuddles and says she loves me, but she’s also in school during the day so I really only have her for maybe an hour in the morning. She’s on break this week from school so now I’m getting a full dose of her and realizing the attitude issue. The 2 yr is is usually the booger by telling me to go home or saying “ you suck” , surprisingly this week he’s been great maybe the kids just switch off with their moods lol
@harveyisaboysname I'm sad to hear you're getting negative comments from the little girl, I know how much those negative comments hurt. I always felt very rejected when the 3 y.o. I used to watch would tell me to go home and that I didn't live there (as if I wasn't aware). But whenever I saw her outside of babysitting, she would give me lots of hugs and love. It was her way of trying to keep mom home and me away, I think. But you seem very patient with her and her family. Kudos to you and your decision to stick it out and talk with her mother!
Add me to the We need a new car list. DH's car hasn't been running since maybe October? So we just got it back from the shop, literally a couple days ago. They fixed one issue but said it still doesn't run and they don't want to tear the engine apart trying to find the problem so they charged hardly anything for the work ($145 which would have orgininally been more like $500) and gave the car back. DH has to decide now if he wants to continue to invest in his car or get a new family vehicle. We don't have money saved up, though. In the fall we depleted our savings to replace our heat and AC unit. Thankfully we don't have a lot of debt but yeah, not good timing with maternity leave happening almost now.
Here's the car he currently has. 1988 Toyota MR2 He was really excited when he got it and we've had lots of great T-Top memories and hard and fast turns in this little car. Rear engine. Really solid on turns. He doesn't want to give it up.
@harveyisaboysname just throwing this out there...do you think the little girl is acting out because she knows you’re leaving when your baby comes? Kids can process change in a lot of different ways and as someone who’s been in her life for 2 years she may be feeling abandon or something.
@blueberrymomma that could absolutely be the case, but my best friend is their night time sitter twice a month ( she lives in their back house) and she says the girl gives her crazy amounts of attitude and refuses to listen. Even after I have the baby I still plan on coming and visiting at least twice a month. I can’t just pretend I don’t know them after being such a big part in their lives. Plus their dogs are my life and I’d cry if I couldn’t see their fur babies. They’re going to have a hard time getting rid of me!
@harveyisaboysname sounds like the mom is feeling anxious about your leaving too. Like maybe just wants to know when you are planning on coming until. 6 yr olds can be snots. I’d just offer two options as a standard for moments like that. “Go play outside with x or help with the 🧺 laundry or find something else to do.
As as far as the swab, I have no memory. But as a modest lady mostly I separate the medical life from real life and just go with whatever. I mean, in labor and delivery they are all up in everything and when in transition and pushing there is even more going on, and you often 💩 and bleed and break and people pop in the room real quick with you all visible and that’s the experience. And none of it matters, because your little baby is there.
Also my dr asked if I wanted her to check my cervix with my 38 week last time, she tends to be more lax and hands off unless warranted.
@lin0442 I'm not declining the butt swab I'm declining the cervix checks. @harveyisaboysname wow that mom needs to have a serious talk with her daughter
I'm an idiot. I stayed awake working on a Friday night. I've been working since 8pm, and it's now midnight. On a Friday night. None of my students are going to be accessing this material on a Saturday morning. Why do I do this?
How in the heck do people not know they are pregnant? I have a hard time believing it. I have an anterior placenta so a lot of little movements are muffled but there is no mistaking when he is rolling from side to side or jabbing my bladder. I just don’t see how you could not know!
I kind of panicked this morning when I realized there are only 7ish weeks left until DS arrives. We still have so much to do. Like our taxes, ugh. My sister reminded me today and since we’re due right around the time taxes are due, we really should get them out of the way now.
@professormama, cause you obviously have an annoyingly good work ethic . I have had to physically tell myself that I'm not doing work related things on weekends anymore because nothing is so important that it can't wait until Monday. Especially when weekends are my only family time.
@jayhawkmom4, I kinda agree, but weirder things can happen! Medical stuff is crazy.
@jlklec19, I did ours as soon as possible just to have that refund in the bank before babe gets here, haha. I knew it would get delayed if I procrastinated too long. Seven weeks seems like so long, but then I think of it in terms of 49 days and I freak out!
@jayhawkmom4 I have always thought the same. I mean sure if you have no symptoms and irregular periods I can see for a couple months maybe. But anything more then that seems impossible. I also don’t get the mind set. Like anytime my period was even slightly off and I had had sex recently that was the first thing that would pop into my head.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@rennie1108, no one else yet but someone congratulated @kyashley1227 and it showed as a new message on there. So I opened the Bump and freaked out momentarily, lol.
@rennie1108 I think llamamama posting her congrats to kyashley in that thread made some freak for a moment? I know i did a double take and rushed to open it when i first saw it.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
My friends sister just had a 4lb preemie and she didn’t know she was pregnant until shortly before (week or two?) so she was probably between 32-35 weeks.
I sorta feel jealous of people whose pregnancies are so symptom free that they didn't realize they were pregnant. But then I also remind myself it might mean they were having complications or other problems.
+1 to not understanding women not realizing they’re pregnant. I mean, who other than a pregnant lady would think it’s a good idea to split these with a 1.5 yo? (Vertical height of like 2”)
Seriously though, I have to imagine that most women it happens to have been told they’re infertile or have some other health complications that make them dismiss the possibility and look instead at some rare and/or bizarre explanations.
I sorta feel jealous of people whose pregnancies are so symptom free that they didn't realize they were pregnant. But then I also remind myself it might mean they were having complications or other problems.
Seems like they have symptoms but there is a disconnect and it comes across as a stomach bug, or weird hormones or some other ailment. I mean, most of the time when not pregnant if you look up symptoms it’s like “pregnant!” And I’m like nah, not pregnant, just headache and nausea.
@jayhawkmom4 I have always thought the same. I mean sure if you have no symptoms and irregular periods I can see for a couple months maybe. But anything more then that seems impossible. I also don’t get the mind set. Like anytime my period was even slightly off and I had had sex recently that was the first thing that would pop into my head.
Me too @thatbaintforbetty DH would always say I was addicted to pregnancy tests. But if we were going on vacation I’d always want to know before we left. And my period was always super regular before DS so more than a day late and I would think I was pg. Plus I don’t get a period at all when breastfeeding. So BFing DS for 18mo always made me paranoid
So a friend of a friend was pregnant and didn’t know it. According to my friend, she was working a very stressful job and frequently skipped her periods due to the stress. She was also very tall / athletic / bigger boned, so she carried the baby up in her rib cage and never showed really. She also apparently only gained like 10lbs and attributed it to the stress / stress eating. When she went in to labor she thought she had a terrible stomach problem and went to the ER. Only to have a baby!
Felt pretty productive today. Organized DDs cups and wash and sterilized all of the bottles and pump parts. Hung up my last nursery painting too.
Sad though I thought I was 32 weeks but turns out I am only 31. Apparently I am in a hurry
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Hi ladies! So DH and I were chatting about labor. He's nervous because when I'm in a position where I'm weak, need help, or upset I either shut down or reject help (something I'm working on). He makes a valid point. He asked how he could help me best in the moment, which clearly I don't really know because I've never been in this position.
Any thoughts on ways your partner can support you during labor?
I'm thinking he can do a bunch of things: *Put cold compresses on my head during labor *Rub my lower back during contractions *Keep track of and time contractions while I'm laboring at home (he's an engineer and he'll be good at that) *Follow my lead with decisions for pain meds and birth plan *Tell me how great I'm doing and remind me that we get to meet our baby soon...
Any other ideas for this sweet man who I love so much to feel involved, present, needed, and cherished during our biggest challenge together?
@stefanielyn1991 same 😆 I opened that thread ASAP when I saw there was a new comment.
@jlklec19 I always try to do my taxes immediately once I have all the necessary paperwork. I use TurboTax, so if I file early enough then it’s free. I got my refund in like a week this time. It was crazy. I thought I forgot to pay a bill or something when I saw the extra $$$ in my bank account.
@lyse01 Omg. That donut with the sprinkles looks amazing. I have the worst sweet tooth right now and all I want is candy.
@kayceebaby1 I have no ideas cuz I’m not the greatest at accepting help either, but the stuff you’ve come up with seems pretty good. I’ll definitely be following to see what other people suggest.
Anyone else having an impossible time getting in and out of bed?? It’s literally so much work at this point and kind of painful. If I’m laying down on my bed, that’s where I plan to stay for the rest of the day. If I want to be able to get up, I just sit on the couch. Haha.
@kayceebaby1 honestly, during my favor there wasn’t a ton for my husband to DO. But he was there, he rubbed my back when I asked, and just generally supported me. I think it’s hard to plan, but being there and being supportive is basically everything.
I feel like I pretty much killed it today even though I’m solo-momming and sick. But now it’s 7:20 and I’m DONE. As soon as my son is asleep I’m going to shower and get in bed myself. I’m freaking exhausted.
@ysotte normally DH does ours super early too, but this year we’ve been so focused on baby and we were waiting for a doc for him from some consulting work that he did last year so we’re a little behind.
Re: Randoms w/o 2/18
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Also cracking up about all the buttswab comments. And vaguely wondering if I'm just apathetic at this point or what since I don't have strong feelings about it one way or the other
I'm so slow and tired this week. I'm getting my work for the day done, but at a freaking snails pace. Ugh.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
I am trying so hard to avoid a car payment but we may need to replace my car here much sooner then anticipated. It overheated going down the street to Target last night, but didn’t have issues to and from work yesterday. DH and my dad are going to work on it this weekend but I dread the conversation we will have if they can’t figure it out or it’s an unreasonable amount to fix it. I’m so over car issues, like yea we may just have a bum thermostat and it’s $50 to solve or it could be the head gasket.. 😵
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
Add me to the We need a new car list. DH's car hasn't been running since maybe October? So we just got it back from the shop, literally a couple days ago. They fixed one issue but said it still doesn't run and they don't want to tear the engine apart trying to find the problem so they charged hardly anything for the work ($145 which would have orgininally been more like $500) and gave the car back. DH has to decide now if he wants to continue to invest in his car or get a new family vehicle. We don't have money saved up, though. In the fall we depleted our savings to replace our heat and AC unit. Thankfully we don't have a lot of debt but yeah, not good timing with maternity leave happening almost now.
He was really excited when he got it and we've had lots of great T-Top memories and hard and fast turns in this little car. Rear engine. Really solid on turns. He doesn't want to give it up.
Even after I have the baby I still plan on coming and visiting at least twice a month. I can’t just pretend I don’t know them after being such a big part in their lives. Plus their dogs are my life and I’d cry if I couldn’t see their fur babies. They’re going to have a hard time getting rid of me!
how much must I suffer?!?!?
/end overly dramatic food rant.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
As as far as the swab, I have no memory. But as a modest lady mostly I separate the medical life from real life and just go with whatever. I mean, in labor and delivery they are all up in everything and when in transition and pushing there is even more going on, and you often 💩 and bleed and break and people pop in the room real quick with you all visible and that’s the experience. And none of it matters, because your little baby is there.
Also my dr asked if I wanted her to check my cervix with my 38 week last time, she tends to be more lax and hands off unless warranted.
@harveyisaboysname wow that mom needs to have a serious talk with her daughter
@professormama, cause you obviously have an annoyingly good work ethic
@jayhawkmom4, I kinda agree, but weirder things can happen! Medical stuff is crazy.
@jlklec19, I did ours as soon as possible just to have that refund in the bank before babe gets here, haha. I knew it would get delayed if I procrastinated too long. Seven weeks seems like so long, but then I think of it in terms of 49 days and I freak out!
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Seriously though, I have to imagine that most women it happens to have been told they’re infertile or have some other health complications that make them dismiss the possibility and look instead at some rare and/or bizarre explanations.
@lyse01 those look delicious
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Any thoughts on ways your partner can support you during labor?
I'm thinking he can do a bunch of things:
*Put cold compresses on my head during labor
*Rub my lower back during contractions
*Keep track of and time contractions while I'm laboring at home (he's an engineer and he'll be good at that)
*Follow my lead with decisions for pain meds and birth plan
*Tell me how great I'm doing and remind me that we get to meet our baby soon...
Any other ideas for this sweet man who I love so much to feel involved, present, needed, and cherished during our biggest challenge together?
@jlklec19 I always try to do my taxes immediately once I have all the necessary paperwork. I use TurboTax, so if I file early enough then it’s free. I got my refund in like a week this time. It was crazy. I thought I forgot to pay a bill or something when I saw the extra $$$ in my bank account.
@lyse01 Omg. That donut with the sprinkles looks amazing. I have the worst sweet tooth right now and all I want is candy.
@kayceebaby1 I have no ideas cuz I’m not the greatest at accepting help either, but the stuff you’ve come up with seems pretty good. I’ll definitely be following to see what other people suggest.
Anyone else having an impossible time getting in and out of bed?? It’s literally so much work at this point and kind of painful. If I’m laying down on my bed, that’s where I plan to stay for the rest of the day. If I want to be able to get up, I just sit on the couch. Haha.
I feel like I pretty much killed it today even though I’m solo-momming and sick. But now it’s 7:20 and I’m DONE. As soon as my son is asleep I’m going to shower and get in bed myself. I’m freaking exhausted.