@kayceebaby1 honestly my DH didn’t do anything but grab the nurse when I needed one and give me company. It’s exactly what I needed. I found that during labor I didn’t want to be touched or talked to. I spent a good amount of time with my head down on the bed while rocking or bouncing on those exercise balls and it was perfect. You can give your DH tips, but you’re really not going to know what you need until the time comes. I really thought I’d want my back rubbed or for him to hold me or my hand through contractions, but I wanted everyone as far away from me as possible
@kayceebaby1 I agree with the others, there really wasn't much for my DH to do. Talk if i wanted to talk, breathe with me/hold my hand on really bad contractions, gave me something to focus on when i got the epidural and just be there. When i was pushing he was right by my side and just being a solid presence that i knew was there for me was huge.
The one thing he did do was that i was on the fence about pain meds the first time, and i feel like when i got to my breaking point he really knew and was very gentle about talking me through it being okay to give in. We had had a conversation before and he knew where i stood on the matter and was there to support me and reassure me. This time i plan to go med free and expect he will mostly be walking around with me and helping to make sure i don't fall mid contraction or go rolling off an exercise ball etc..lol.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@kayceebaby1 I’m also in the camp that when I was laboring, I didn’t want to be talked to or touched. I had only back labor and I think he rubbed my back some and did some supportive talking, but 2.5 years later I don’t remember much of that.
I had a friend who wrote her husband a sit of things to say, how to support and some things to not say. He loved it. She felt like it helped him be supportive without overwhelming.
We had a doula which was good, but I was able to accept help fairly well, help gathering pillows, food and water (all the water in labor) (and food).
Anyway, practice supported/partner labor positions, it’s not “him helping a needy person” it’s him doing his job to participate in the birth of his child. In labor, in the moment, you will know what your body wants or needs, just be clear and encourage him before hand to step in when he sees a way to support. It’s hard hard work and a helper can be reliving.
I am way, way too behind to bother catching up! But just so y’all know, I read everything and am loving the discussions happening. Also, sounds like a lot of us had a shit week and I really hope everyone’s luck turns around. Just think: we are ALMOST done!
@kangstadt and @thatbaintforbetty thanks for the explanation. I forgot there was a response to the one birth announcement!
I actually overheard someone in our break room at work talking about her sister who just gave birth at 33 weeks last weekend. I asked her about it and wouldn't you know, she didn't know she was pregnant!! And she wasn't a large girl (I saw a pic). Apparently the way her uterus was positioned she didnt grow outwards and she was taking birth control thr whole time and did have a period each month. She went to the ER bc she thought she had a kidney stone but instead it was back labor pains. I dont understand it at all!
@kayceebaby1 I think this is a great question and as a FTM am loving all the answers from the STM+. DH and I have our birthing class tomorrow and I know he wants to be a supportive partner so giving him ideas for things he should keep in mind is another way to make him feel useful during the whole labor process. I honestly have zero idea how I’ll react during labor so it’s helpful to read everyone’s stories/advice!
DH got to go disc golfing with my dad since today was the last day of his vacation. I got the dishes caught up and the kitchen cleaner (could still use a deep clean, but whatever), the bathroom cleaned, the fridge and freezer cleaned out, grocery shopping, we took DD to the park, figured out the leak in the car, got the part ordered, meal planning done and oh yea figured out a middle name for this kid finally.
I’m now pooped and watching a movie.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@blueberrymomma@ysotte they were so f’ing good. Though I’m glad I got the Samoa one because I haven’t seen Girl Scouts around town yet and I needed a chocolate/coconut/caramel fix, and the animal cracker one was little too one-note for me. Totally up DD’s alley though.
@kosmo86@thatbaintforbetty way to be productive! I...cleaned out my car while DD napped today? Roughly my last choice in terms of preferred chores but it made DH happy and I guess needs to be done to install a second car seat. And @professormama, high five for killing it today.
Re taxes: we need to catch up on some accounting to get our self employed deductions before we can file. Pregsomnia this morning should really have been used for that...oops. maybe tonight.
@kayceebaby1 last time, we had no birth prep and DH had no idea what he was doing and yet was still an awesome, supportive presence while I got progressively less communicative. I mean, I just needed to know he was there. I’m hoping this time that: - discussing the birth plan means he knows what I want to happen and he can facilitate it actually happening - he takes the initiative on massage and comfort measures, as well as repeating his initiative in photo/video taking of the newborn
After how many times of begging DH to use his dang CPAP machine is it acceptable throw his ass outside? It’s hard enough getting any sleep this far along and now it takes me extra long to get back to sleep because of his loud ass snoring. I’m definitely making him get me coffee when he wakes up
@lyse01There we’re girl scouts at the Starbucks next to where I work last Monday and I may or may not have eaten an entire box of thin mints that day 😆
@thatbaintforbetty, yay for productive days! I'm hoping that will be my day tomorrow... today I'm giving myself the okay to do absolutely nothing, haha.
@kayceebaby1, I agree with everything the other posters have said. You're never really sure what you'll want during labor. For me, DH was supportive just being a presence, holding the garbage can when I puked, helping me into the shower, and gently encouraging me to get IV fluids in case I chose an epidural (which I did end up getting). Most of the time I was stuck on the bed with the monitor, so he was just a companion. This time, I'm hoping to labor at home a bit longer and move around more, so hopefully he'll be able to work with our doula and help with different positions or back massage if I want it.
I can't believe it's almost March, you guys. Also, on the note of people making amazingly rude comments, here's one for you... I worked with another coworker yesterday who is expecting the same week as me, and a customer asked when we were due. We told her, and she said, "oh my goodness, I would've guessed that she (my coworker) is WAY farther along than you are!" The lady then proceeded to say more to us later about how she was going to guess I'm having a boy because of "how tiny you are, boys carry like that and girls just go out and bigger," (like my coworker who is having a girl). Dude. How rude do you have to be? Every woman carries differently. What makes it okay for people to comment on anyone else's body just because they're obviously pregnant?!
Taxes: I have them all ready just waiting for an appt with our tax lady. With the farm it’s too complicated to do it ourselves with turbo tax. Waiting makes me anxious because I usually want them done before March.
DHinlabor: I think it’s best to tell him to follow your cues because what you think you want(in the form of support) could be different when you’re actually in the thick of it. I for one hate when DH tells me how to breathe and I’m constantly changing positions and don’t want to be touched lol But I agree make sure he know the birthplan so he can advocate for you
Gettingoutofbed: With my SPD so bad it hurts like a mofo if I don’t roll over the correct way. Meaning I have to keep my knees together which is difficult and annoying when you have to pee a million times a night
Between kids waking up, a migraine, and this sudden nasal congestion I was up all night
Baby shower today. This is the shower being thrown by my in laws. It’s been a liiiittle emotionally challenging because of my relationship with one of my SILs, but I’m hoping for a fun day. After the shower, DH and I are ordering pizza and watching the Oscars!
There’s like 130 new posts on this thread and I’m so not gonna be able to touch on much. I read them all though. Haha. I did wonder—do we want anymore fun weekly threads to spread things out a little? I like that we have FFC/UO’s. Maybe we could have a weekly bitchfest for complaints only. An appointments thread, with updates, since we’re all going a lot more often now? Just a couple thoughts.
@kayceebaby1 I agree, for my H there wasn’t a lot he could do during delivery/once we got to the hospital, though he was in charge of the music. Haha. And his one instruction was to make sure if I had an emergency c sec or something to take my glasses so I could actually see my baby. Lol. Mostly this time he has a list of things he can’t do: eat in front of me, complain about being tired, go lay down or nap while I’m laboring at home, or fail to pack his hospital bag prior to five minutes before I tell him we have to leave or I’m giving birth in the car like he did last time. 🙄 Also, one thing he did while I was laboring at home was apply counter pressure to my lower back during contractions because I had back labor. He did trade off with my parents because it was two days’ worth at that point.
@MRDCle Yep, he’s been playing for like 10+ years and actually got my dad into it. They play any chance they get around my dads crazy work schedule and are all buddy buddy, it’s super adorable.
I think we had a conversation early on maybe?
He’s actually going again this morning with a friend, trying to maximize this little bit of decent weather we have left before the rain hits again next week.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
I’ve never had a cervical check until I was in labor. You can absolutely deny them since there’s really no needs. As someone previously said you can be dilated but it mean nothing.
The buttswab was no big deal. Probably 3 seconds. I feel like there were other things that happen when you’re in labor that no one told me about that were way more “embarrassing”.
I also opened up the announcements when I saw the other post. Major letdown, lol.
After how many times of begging DH to use his dang CPAP machine is it acceptable throw his ass outside? It’s hard enough getting any sleep this far along and now it takes me extra long to get back to sleep because of his loud ass snoring. I’m definitely making him get me coffee when he wakes up
My uncle died of sleep apnea. It’s important he use the machine! I’d def. fight it out.
@thatbaintforbetty yay for a productive day! DH and I also had a productive day yesterday (and he let me sneak in a nap) which made some of my stress go away.
Last night I slept terrible and today we’re in a 6 hour birthing “express” class and I’m so exhausted that I can barely focus. Thankfully DH takes good notes.
I have snow here as well and it's almost blizzard like so we are stuck in the house. Biggest plus to that is being able to get a ton done around the house this weekend. Only about 6 more weeks give or take until we won't have the time to get the reno stuff done so we are pushing hard on it the last couple days. I am taking time for me to have some couch time though, helped him shovel parts of the driveway only to tweak my back a bit and have some braxton hicks. Thinking heavy snow isn't the smartest move right now.
My car is in the shop right now. DH is supposed to take me to the shower. He decided to go to a Waffle House in another city with his friends this morning and promised he be back early. Well, the shower starts in 30 minutes. The location is 30 minutes away from our house. And he STILL ISNT HOME YET!!!!
@lilpotatomama Hell no! I'd be so mad. I hope he got you there in time!
@kosmo86 when it's hot here I wish it were cold. But since its 20 degrees, overcast And we have a shit ton of snow, 85 sounds wonderful!! I am in serious nesting mode. Purchased the rest of my target registry yesterday and got to pick up most of it in store, so I did more laundry and did a lot of stuff in the nursery. I also put together the stroller which made me really excited! Of course I tried to put on the stroller/car seat adaptor and either the directions are terrible, or I bought the wrong one. Now it's on DH's list to figure out which means he'll probably do it after the baby comes. I asked him yesterday when he thinks we should install the car seat and he said, after the baby comes. I'm like, uh, we need to have it ready before. It's not like the hospital will let us take the baby home without a car seat! He said, oh I'll just install it when you're still in the hospital. What the hell.
Update: he showed up in the nick of time, we got to the shower on time, and it was FOUR HOURS LONG. It was honestly a great party, turnout was more than I expected, and we were really blessed with gifts.
@professormama I’m going to be sad when we don’t have your soapbox lectures but I’m uncomfortable posting a birth announcement publicly so I’m happy it’s happening pre-babies.
@professormama I'm hoping our group doesn't die just before baby! I'm not a fan of Facebook at all, so I won't be making that shift... But I've really enjoyed the group to connect with women in the same boat.
Re: Randoms w/o 2/18
honestly my DH didn’t do anything but grab the nurse when I needed one and give me company. It’s exactly what I needed. I found that during labor I didn’t want to be touched or talked to. I spent a good amount of time with my head down on the bed while rocking or bouncing on those exercise balls and it was perfect.
You can give your DH tips, but you’re really not going to know what you need until the time comes.
I really thought I’d want my back rubbed or for him to hold me or my hand through contractions, but I wanted everyone as far away from me as possible
The one thing he did do was that i was on the fence about pain meds the first time, and i feel like when i got to my breaking point he really knew and was very gentle about talking me through it being okay to give in. We had had a conversation before and he knew where i stood on the matter and was there to support me and reassure me. This time i plan to go med free and expect he will mostly be walking around with me and helping to make sure i don't fall mid contraction or go rolling off an exercise ball etc..lol.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@kayceebaby1 I’m also in the camp that when I was laboring, I didn’t want to be talked to or touched. I had only back labor and I think he rubbed my back some and did some supportive talking, but 2.5 years later I don’t remember much of that.
I had a friend who wrote her husband a sit of things to say, how to support and some things to not say. He loved it. She felt like it helped him be supportive without overwhelming.
We had a doula which was good, but I was able to accept help fairly well, help gathering pillows, food and water (all the water in labor) (and food).
Anyway, practice supported/partner labor positions, it’s not “him helping a needy person” it’s him doing his job to participate in the birth of his child. In labor, in the moment, you will know what your body wants or needs, just be clear and encourage him before hand to step in when he sees a way to support. It’s hard hard work and a helper can be reliving.
I actually overheard someone in our break room at work talking about her sister who just gave birth at 33 weeks last weekend. I asked her about it and wouldn't you know, she didn't know she was pregnant!! And she wasn't a large girl (I saw a pic). Apparently the way her uterus was positioned she didnt grow outwards and she was taking birth control thr whole time and did have a period each month. She went to the ER bc she thought she had a kidney stone but instead it was back labor pains. I dont understand it at all!
DH got to go disc golfing with my dad since today was the last day of his vacation. I got the dishes caught up and the kitchen cleaner (could still use a deep clean, but whatever), the bathroom cleaned, the fridge and freezer cleaned out, grocery shopping, we took DD to the park, figured out the leak in the car, got the part ordered, meal planning done and oh yea figured out a middle name for this kid finally.
I’m now pooped and watching a movie.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@kosmo86 @thatbaintforbetty way to be productive! I...cleaned out my car while DD napped today? Roughly my last choice in terms of preferred chores but it made DH happy and I guess needs to be done to install a second car seat. And @professormama, high five for killing it today.
Re taxes: we need to catch up on some accounting to get our self employed deductions before we can file. Pregsomnia this morning should really have been used for that...oops. maybe tonight.
@kayceebaby1 last time, we had no birth prep and DH had no idea what he was doing and yet was still an awesome, supportive presence while I got progressively less communicative. I mean, I just needed to know he was there. I’m hoping this time that:
- discussing the birth plan means he knows what I want to happen and he can facilitate it actually happening
- he takes the initiative on massage and comfort measures, as well as repeating his initiative in photo/video taking of the newborn
@kayceebaby1, I agree with everything the other posters have said. You're never really sure what you'll want during labor. For me, DH was supportive just being a presence, holding the garbage can when I puked, helping me into the shower, and gently encouraging me to get IV fluids in case I chose an epidural (which I did end up getting). Most of the time I was stuck on the bed with the monitor, so he was just a companion. This time, I'm hoping to labor at home a bit longer and move around more, so hopefully he'll be able to work with our doula and help with different positions or back massage if I want it.
I can't believe it's almost March, you guys. Also, on the note of people making amazingly rude comments, here's one for you... I worked with another coworker yesterday who is expecting the same week as me, and a customer asked when we were due. We told her, and she said, "oh my goodness, I would've guessed that she (my coworker) is WAY farther along than you are!" The lady then proceeded to say more to us later about how she was going to guess I'm having a boy because of "how tiny you are, boys carry like that and girls just go out and bigger," (like my coworker who is having a girl). Dude. How rude do you have to be? Every woman carries differently. What makes it okay for people to comment on anyone else's body just because they're obviously pregnant?!
DH in labor: I think it’s best to tell him to follow your cues because what you think you want(in the form of support) could be different when you’re actually in the thick of it. I for one hate when DH tells me how to breathe and I’m constantly changing positions and don’t want to be touched lol But I agree make sure he know the birthplan so he can advocate for you
Getting out of bed: With my SPD so bad it hurts like a mofo if I don’t roll over the correct way. Meaning I have to keep my knees together which is difficult and annoying when you have to pee a million times a night
Between kids waking up, a migraine, and this sudden nasal congestion I was up all night
@kayceebaby1 I agree, for my H there wasn’t a lot he could do during delivery/once we got to the hospital, though he was in charge of the music. Haha. And his one instruction was to make sure if I had an emergency c sec or something to take my glasses so I could actually see my baby. Lol.
Mostly this time he has a list of things he can’t do: eat in front of me, complain about being tired, go lay down or nap while I’m laboring at home, or fail to pack his hospital bag prior to five minutes before I tell him we have to leave or I’m giving birth in the car like he did last time. 🙄
Also, one thing he did while I was laboring at home was apply counter pressure to my lower back during contractions because I had back labor. He did trade off with my parents because it was two days’ worth at that point.
I think we had a conversation early on maybe?
He’s actually going again this morning with a friend, trying to maximize this little bit of decent weather we have left before the rain hits again next week.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
The buttswab was no big deal. Probably 3 seconds. I feel like there were other things that happen when you’re in labor that no one told me about that were way more “embarrassing”.
I also opened up the announcements when I saw the other post. Major letdown, lol.
Last night I slept terrible and today we’re in a 6 hour birthing “express” class and I’m so exhausted that I can barely focus. Thankfully DH takes good notes.
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@kosmo86 when it's hot here I wish it were cold. But since its 20 degrees, overcast And we have a shit ton of snow, 85 sounds wonderful!!
I am in serious nesting mode. Purchased the rest of my target registry yesterday and got to pick up most of it in store, so I did more laundry and did a lot of stuff in the nursery. I also put together the stroller which made me really excited! Of course I tried to put on the stroller/car seat adaptor and either the directions are terrible, or I bought the wrong one. Now it's on DH's list to figure out which means he'll probably do it after the baby comes. I asked him yesterday when he thinks we should install the car seat and he said, after the baby comes. I'm like, uh, we need to have it ready before. It's not like the hospital will let us take the baby home without a car seat! He said, oh I'll just install it when you're still in the hospital. What the hell.
I finally managed to do some yard work but now I can't bring myself to make dinner.
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
He was gone 10+ hours and apparently because I’m mildly annoyed at not being aware he was going to be gone that long he’s now mad at me.
Umm what?
And he was the one suggesting plans for after he got back. Dude, don’t make plans with me and then not even be back in time to do them.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019