So it's almost 2019 and I think we need to start setting up whatever private March19 group we want to transition to. To make it as democratic as possible, I'm starting this poll so we can decide when we want to move and where we want to move to. The purpose of this private group would to protect any personal information that people want to share with the friends they have made over the last several months from public view. The group will eventually decide what determines that, and feel free to use this thread as a discussion board for that.
Before Babies: Likely sometime in January so we can get moved and settled before any (more) early arrivals. This does not mean that we cannot still keep a fairly active presence on the public March '19 board.
After Babies: March/April. Again, this does not mean we have to abandon the public board completely.
Facebook: I'm unsure how people typically make this transition as I'm not in a FB BMB group, but I'd imagine it would eventually be a closed, secret group. This would expose everyone's information that is made available to the public and would exclude anyone that does not use facebook.
Private Bump Group: For anyone not aware, The Bump has private groups that are essentially private boards without Bump God moderation. We would choose our own moderators and set our own rules and would more or less be left to our own devices to enforce them. Because it is on the bump there is still a level of anonymity by using screen names, but we can transition there pretty seamlessly. Provided that they are working because the Bump app/community/website can be a bit buggy at times. We would be at the mercy of the Bump in that regard.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
Facebook/Private Group When&Where 57 votes
Before Babies / Facebook Group
After Babies / Facebook Group
Before Babies / Private Bump Group
After Babies / Private Bump Group
Re: Facebook/Private Group When&Where
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
I dislike FB groups in general. I do not find them easier. I find them harder. There's no way to easily jump to what's unread in a thread and, with nesting, it's hard to find what you haven't read previously. Notifications clear as soon as you close or refresh the page regardless of whether you've actually viewed the new information.
Considering how many children I hope to have (at least 3), that's potentially a lot of FB groups to keep up with when I already don't like them.
I don't friend people I don't know in real life, and I believe joining a private, closed group would require friending at least one person.
From what I've heard, these groups often tend to have implosions. There's often at least one crazy who makes it through. There's also frequently a scammer who catfishes everyone. I never joined FB with my previous BMB, and several months later, a comment from a supposed "catfisher" and responses popped up in a thread in the June board about the woman supposedly using her NICU baby to get gifted money and going to Disneyland. As I was not a member of the FB group, I have no way of knowing who is right. But I prefer to avoid all of that drama in general, even though I would not ever give money to someone I don't know extremely well in real life.
I would ask that, whatever is done, we have a rule that no one is allowed to ask for money, post GoFundMe's, etc. As I mentioned above, these frequently go wrong, and even though I wouldn't contribute to one, I think just having a blanket ban would help avoid all the potential unpleasantness.
ETA: more info.
I ended up with the "leftovers" in my last BMB after we got left out of the facebook group. We eventually made a private bump group and it has worked out great. We have a couple of threads, like Vent, Baby Health, Randoms, etc. that just get bumped up as needed and then the weekly type threads like FFFC and HDBD get started new each week. I'm not even sure how that sort of simple organization would translate to facebook. It seems like it would be as if we each started our own thread every time, which is not what we've come to enjoy here.
One thing I want to mention about facebook - you don't need to be friends with someone to join. We created the groups as private, made sure everyone is in (you have to ask to join and answer a few questions) and then made it secret.
This is what I see as pros/cons, at least from my side:
The Bump
Pros:
1. Based on the comments, it seems more people are likely to join, so there'll be more of us
2. Those who are not on facebook don't need to create a new account
Cons:
1. I wanted to delete my account soon after we go private to make sure no details about my kids are searchable, which won't be possible anymore if we stay here.
2. Technical issues - unable to login, whole forum down etc.
3. Don't get me started on the app - I find it mostly unusable so I only check the bump on my laptops or work desktop.
Facebook
Pros:
1. I already go to facebook for my October 2015 group and a few local mom groups - great place to learn about events happening in the area
2. Better integration with other services, it's also easier to share content with the group, especially public posts about motherhood, baby gear recalls, etc.
3. I feel it's more informal and allows for less structured communication, which I personally like (to the point of topics getting lost - we just ask again, nobody minds).
Cons:
1. I see lots of comments against facebook, so I guess less people will join
I will say, to your point about FB vs. TB issues, I have plenty of issues with the FB app. Not issues with the site itself going down, but individualized issues. I frequently have the app crash. I'll just be scrolling along, and the app will suddenly close, and I'll be back on my phone's home screen. This seems to especially happen when I'm looking at a group. If that happens, then all the markers of what's new are gone, and I have no way of knowing what's recent. I also find the FB website itself on a computer to be extremely clunky and slow with lots of lag and load time, much worse than TB.
@lovesclimbing - interesting. I'm on android (and just a Moto G5, nothing new or fancy or pricey), but I'm wondering if they are optimizing the facebook app for android vs iPhone and that's why you have so many issues with it.
I’m still friends with a fellow loss mom from the group. *tw* Our girls passed a day apart from each other *end TW*
October 2015 ladies even on the bump were super close and supportive of one another. I can see this group being similar in that way.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
We migrated shortly before the babies were born and did have some stipulations. People had to have been semi-regularly contributers to join. It wasn’t a free for all.
We’ve had some minor hiccups and GBCFBs along the way, but for the most part, I love our community and don’t know how we would’ve done it with out each other sometimes.
Thanks for initiating this conversation @meggyme!
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
[spoiler=TW in signature]
Me: 36, DH 37.
August 2014- 6w MMC
July 2015- CP
PCOS, plus some medical issues that make me high risk.
Our rainbow babies are due 3/21!!!!!
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=TW in signature]
Me: 36, DH 37.
August 2014- 6w MMC
July 2015- CP
PCOS, plus some medical issues that make me high risk.
Our rainbow babies are due 3/21!!!!!
[/spoiler]
I would guess there are some people who will become more active after the babes are here, and I think it would be nice to keep the door open for them if they become regular participants on the BMB in the future.
ETA sorry if this was already addressed, I missed a ton today so I'm quickly catching up!
We moved and switched ISP's but kept the same router. I had the same issues, but also the similar issues off and on with other sites. We ended up buying a new router, and I've had no issues since. It makes no sense!
there really wouldn’t be the opportunity for late joiners to become regular participants.
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
I voted before babies and a group on the bump, primarily because I deleted my Facebook last year for my mental health (too much negativity). If the group decides to move to Facebook, I won’t be following, but I appreciate the democratic system and will respect the vote. Haha.
@lovesclimbing I've been telling my husband we need a new router for months, so maybe it's a combination of problems. There was someone in Jan19 who was having the same issue I am with the icons at the top of the post box not coming up and not being able to loveit who recently switched ISP's and the problem went away. Sadly I only have one internet provider where I live so switching isn't an option. I have Cox and would switch in a heartbeat.
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19