Honestly I didn’t forget so much as I didn’t care? Until I got pregnant again 😂. Pre second pregnancy me was very full of herself thinking it would all be fine and life would continue as normal. That is not the case. I’ve mentioned this sentiment in other discussions here. I don’t find labor to be bad. I was induced and went med free, and still. Really not a big deal. I said it during labor, I said it right after, and I say it now. The 9 months of bodily take over before that? That’s what sucks. Which kind of sucks from my perspective, because labor is so much shorter than pregnancy.
And yes. I had plenty of milk and a great breastfeeding relationship with my son, and that crap still hurt for a couple weeks. It just does. He was latched just fine, every doctor I saw said so. My nipples just had to toughen up. It’s always good to make sure the latch is right, and as they got older if it starts hurting again it can indicate a problem (even as simple as them getting teeth) but everything was completely fine in the beginning and it still hurt me. Although I still hate pregnancy waaaaay more than breastfeeding. It makes me feel better to have my body to myself and have my baby earthside so I can physically see them and know they are ok. I’d take cluster feeding for 9 months versus pregnancy.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@gta4334 and @dntstpbelieveing did you have pitocin? When I went to one of those crunchy birthing classes she said that when you have pitocin it blocks the natural Oxcytocin. Which helps with the bonding immediately after birth.
I am curious if it is true. I didn't use pitocin with my first.
@amaren-2 I did have pitocin. I do think that my delivery made a difference in the bonding. I had pre-e and lost vision in my left eye so I was given a very high dose of mag to stop a potential stroke. Due to this I was kept in L&D for 48 hours after birth vs going to the PP wing. I was not allowed to stand up because mag is a muscle relaxer. My son was taken briefly to the NICU and I was not able to go due to not standing. I think that all played a role in it but I also think that I am not a naturally motherly/nurturing person. We always have said that my husband handles the fun stuff, he plays and does all of that and I am the basic needs parent. I make sure my son is fed, clothed and cared for. Dont get me wrong I am not cold and I love my son but I am not the most affectionate/ emotional person out there.
@amaren-2, I cant weigh in on that, but I can say this: I had pitocin with my oldest because I was induced and I bonded with him immediately. A lot of that was the actual birth - as others have said, it was such a high as soon as he came out. My twins were a c-section because my little stinker of a son flipped footlong breach 2 hours before I was due to be induced (not even exaggerating, we watched him do it on ultrasound), so no pitocin there, and it took me 2 days before I even felt any real interest in holding them. I was so out of it from the pre-e and then the magnesium and then the pain from the section and the fact that I’m allergic to morphine so I was doped up on Oxy on an empty stomach (cue a LOT of vomiting with a fresh c-section wound in my abdomen...) I just wasn’t all there. So for good or for ill, for me, it was more about the birth experience, if that makes sense? From everything I’ve heard, planned sections tend to be much easier to handle (mine, obviously, was not), but I am so hopeful to end my pregnancy journey with an experience like my oldest’s birth. Despite induction, I felt SO empowered and powerful and euphoric. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Married 25 May, 2013 William Alexander born 18 September, 2015 Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017 Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017 Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
+1 for not feeling that instant connection with my son. They handed him to me and DH said I looked like I was in shock lol. I definitely was! I didn't start to feel that love that everyone talks about until he started smiling at me around 6 weeks. One smile and I was his With my second child, it was an instant connection the second they handed her to me. I think the first time you push a baby out, you are so full of so many other emotions that there isn't always room for love right away. I loved him in a way, but not that love that everyone talks about between a mother and child.
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
I had a pitocin induction and I loved him immediately. I was so high I didn’t even realize the semi-emergent situation that was still happening. My IV came out without anyone realizing it, so my contractions stopped, and I was bleeding too much. Did not even know it was happening until my husband told me about it much later. I was just enthralled with the little bundle of baby in my arms. Also didn’t much notice when they were compressing my stomach to get the placenta out. It wasn’t comfortable, but again, BABY. It was pretty all consuming for awhile.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@amaren-2 I did have pitocin at the start of my labor but I also had a 38+ hr labor and at some point they turned it off. I don't know how long it took to get out of my system and I have honestly never heard that about Pitocin so that's really interesting! All in all (with the exception of it taking FOREVER) I had a pretty good labor/delivery, nothing very dramatic or scary happened. I just didn't feel "it" and i'm okay with that. I know some moms are really upset that they didn't feel that way (to be honest, i would have thought before that I would be the type to be upset with myself for not feeling it) but i guess after 38+ hrs of labor even I was willing to give myself a little break. ha!
with my first I had that feeling just everytime I looked at her my world literally stopped and I couldn't think of anything better than her. With my 2nd I didnt have that until after I returned to work. I'm not sure why my labor was natural but I just didnt have that same feeling it made me so sad. I always thought that it was because I was so concerned with not making my oldest feel left out or like she was loved any less that I just didn't let myself bond that way with dd2 and even though I got there eventually it makes me sad that it wasn't there right away. Now don't get me wrong I loved her but it wasn't that feeling.
So, I know this doesn’t usually come up until later in pregnancy, but a urine test from my last appointment showed that I have group B strep. The nurse made it sound like they accidentally found it, but she went into how it would mean I would need antibiotics during labor. I’ve heard a tiny bit about it before and just did a little research. But as a FTM, I’m curious what other people have experienced with having it in previous pregnancies/deliveries.
So, I know this doesn’t usually come up until later in pregnancy, but a urine test from my last appointment showed that I have group B strep. The nurse made it sound like they accidentally found it, but she went into how it would mean I would need antibiotics during labor. I’ve heard a tiny bit about it before and just did a little research. But as a FTM, I’m curious what other people have experienced with having it in previous pregnancies/deliveries.
I had it. Honestly, other than giving me antibiotics via my IV during labor, it had no other effect for me. It is really common.
@kjr9519 I am not medical at all but I thought that I heard that it can come and go. I would ask for a recheck at the normal 35 week mark. That being said I had my son early and was not tested so I got the antibiotics. It didn't effect me at all but if I had a choice I would like to know for sure if those antibiotics are necessary or not.
@dntstpbelieveing thanks! After having read that it can come and go, I was kind of wondering if I’d definitely still have it several months from now. The nurse I talked to made it sound like there’s no doubt I’ll need to have antibiotics in labor. I’ll definitely push to get tested again at the normal time, though.
My first was an emergency c-section and they put me under general anesthesia (to sleep) because they didn’t have time to get the spinal to work properly. I woke up in recovery 5 hours later with no pain medication. I do not need to describe that but I remember when I first got back to my room them asking if I wanted to see the baby, the baby I had not only dreamed about the last 9 months but my whole life. I told them no. I was so out of it and in pain I just wanted to not talk or do anything, even see or hold my child. And while it may not have been the rush most moms get when their baby is born, my daughter is my world. I can honestly say my bond with her has never suffered in the least.
I think we focus way too much on the delivery, it’s one experience out of millions - I get it though, we dream about the moment, a lot of times since before we are even pregnant
Also re: b strep I also need antibotics every time since I am a c-section momma, honestly for me it was no biggie. Just a bag of fluid and medicine in an IV.
@kjr9519 with my second pregnancy they detected strep b in my urine early on as well. I have had strep b with both of my vaginal deliveries and to echo the moms above, it’s no big deal. I was scared the first time bc they stress how you need to have a round or two of the antibiotics before delivering so I ran to the hospital as soon as my water broke but both times I have had plenty of time for this (my hospital labors have always been in the longer side).
A friend of mine had strep b and she didn't make it in time to get the antibiotics. It ended up not being a big deal because her baby was born with the sac intact. So she was never exposed to it.
I just want to put my two cents in on strep B. Most times it really is no big deal. But in my opinion I would not wait to go to the hospital if you have tested positive. One of my best friends has a friend who was positive for it (they didn’t know it at the time). She delivered a healthy full term boy and he was dead just a few hours later because of strep B with no antibiotics given.
I don’t want to scare anyone, but please don’t wait to go and labor at home for hours even if you think you might have a long labor. To be honest when my friend told me about it, it freaked me out so much, I told my OB I wanted the antibiotics if I tested negative anyway. She agreed. But it ended up not mattering since I delivered so early by c section.
*TW* Spoiler
Me: 33 DH:30 DD: Aug '16 10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Thanks for the input, ladies. I definitely won’t mess around with treatment because I wouldn’t want to take any risks. I’m glad to know that the treatment is easy, though. That gives me some relief.
Any moms out there have advice about baby sleeping in same room/bassinet V baby sleeping in crib in nursery. Am I totally naive that newborns ALWAYS start off sleep in parents room? Can they go straight to crib sleeping? Would love to hear both sides experience, pros and cons...
Also to pacifier or not to pacifier? I was a really oral kid, had a hard time giving up pacifiers, sippy sups, thumb sucking...I was a nightmare. On the one hand I dont want to overthink things, on the other if i can get away without a paci I would like to try.
Any moms out there have advice about baby sleeping in same room/bassinet V baby sleeping in crib in nursery. Am I totally naive that newborns ALWAYS start off sleep in parents room? Can they go straight to crib sleeping? Would love to hear both sides experience, pros and cons...
Also to pacifier or not to pacifier? I was a really oral kid, had a hard time giving up pacifiers, sippy sups, thumb sucking...I was a nightmare. On the one hand I dont want to overthink things, on the other if i can get away without a paci I would like to try.
My baby stayed in our room for the first six months. It was just easier - there are so many night feedings, every few hours! It was so easier just to pull her in bed and nurse her rather than get up and head to her room. Also, she did not sleep well in a large crib - she did fine in a smaller bassinet, near me and my scent. I do know some women that had their newborns in the crib from day one. It just wasn't for me. And I had no problem switching her to the crib when the time came. I just started using the cribs for naps and then a week later, put her in there at night and she's been there ever since.
As for pacis, I tried to avoid them, but my daughter used my boobs as pacifiers and I was so sore! I had to use the paci within 2 weeks. I was worried about nipple confusion but it wasn't a problem at all. Plenty of LCs will tell you nipple confusion isn't a real thing. Now that she's older (12 months), she still has a paci at night but otherwise doesn't want it. I'm going to break the night habit soon before it turns into a real thing!
@cricket1688 we did a bassinet next to our bed in the beginning. It was just 100% easier for night feedings. I didn't even have to get out of bed to get him when he woke up.
As for paci's we started with one right away. I didn't intend to but when he went to the special care unit in the hospital it's just policy I think for them to offer the baby a paci in there. It didn't create any nipple confusion for him at all. I took it away around four/five months when he started teething. He was chewing on it instead of sucking and it was actually keeping him awake instead of helping him fall asleep.
I consistently last 6 to 8 weeks with my kids in the same room as me. I’m the world’s lightest sleeper and every little snuffle and mewl and sleep cry wakes me up and then I can’t fall back asleep. Six weeks is typically how long it takes me to start feeling completely like myself again, and at that point, baby goes in their crib with a Snuza and a video monitor. The other advantage for us in this arrangement is that when my husband gets up to help (he was great with my son, but was out to sea the first three months of the twins lives, so he wasn’t around to help, so going off past experience and hoping for more help with this one, since he’s going to shore duty), it forces him to go in the other room, which allows me to keep sleeping. Otherwise, I might as well get up. 🤷🏼♀️ For our family, especially with my husband out to sea so often (I hate to pull that card, but it’s relevant here), I’m just a much, much better mom, patience wise, when I’ve slept, and I sleep better without having a newborn in the room. And since I often and doing the mom thing without a lot of backup, patience is kind of necessary in spades.
In fairness, my kids have all been pretty good sleepers (please don’t think of this as bragging - I’ve gotten very lucky in this regard). They all started sleeping through the night around 9 weeks, which lines up reasonably closely with the transition, so for us, it works.
I think the sleeping arrangement is highly personal and parents often go into thinking they’ll have a plan and then find that they have to follow their baby’s lead. You may intend to room share for a year and then find that you last 6 weeks, like us, or you may intend to crib sleep from day one and then get home and find that bed sharing works for your family, and everything in between. I guess my recommendation is to not have any concrete expectations - in the end, you’ll most likely end up doing whatever gets everyone the most sleep possible.
Married 25 May, 2013 William Alexander born 18 September, 2015 Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017 Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017 Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
@cricket1688 I slept with my kids in my room until they were six months and by then I was desperate for my space. The nursery is pretty far from our master bedroom or I would have done it sooner. I think having LO really close to where you sleep makes it easier for you with night feedings, but if you don't mind getting up and going into the next room, I don't see why it would be a problem for LO to start out in the nursery.
We also gave both our LOs the pacifier within the first week they were born. It was so helpful with my son because there are times when you can't feed them (like when driving) and they scream and scream! Usually they find the pacifier tolerable while they are waiting to be fed. I was extremely worried on how awful it was going to be when taking it away from him, but it was no big deal. For a couple of days he would wander around the house looking for extra ones lying around, but he soon forgot about them entirely. My DD never liked the pacifier and is still a thumb-sucker. Now that's a battle!
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
@KissMeImScottish@tsa208@runyogamom@eleven_ all this is so helpful to hear. It definitely does seem it depends on you and baby and it’s so personal. I want to do bedside for a little (8ish weeks) then transfer to nursery. At least in my head that’s what I would do but yes I have to stay open to anything can happen and minds change!
I keep my babies in my room until they are at least 6 months. Some people move them earlier. It really depends on your comfort level. The reason people room in is because of SIDs and it's easier for night feeding, especially if you're planning to BF.
@cricket1688 I lasted with DS in my room for about 3 days. He was way too loud then he would go silent for a minute and I would FREAK out. I didnt sleep at all because I was too busy listening to him sleep. He went to his room (it shares a room with ours) in a RNP. He transferred to a crib around 3 months.
DS did have a paci. He got it within a week or two of being born. Around 6 months he would pretty much only get it at nap and bedtime, it stayed in the crib. At 1 I took it away completely. He never had an issue. I took it away at the same time that I took away bottles. I will say that DS has been very easy with transitions for the most part (into crib, paci, bottles, big boy bed, etc.)
I moved my first two from the bassinet next to the bed to their cribs in the nursery at 2-3 months. The nursery was connected to our room so it wasn’t hard to get to the them and feel like I could hear if there was a problem.
My third (and I am slightly ashamed to admit this) didn’t move to his crib until he was 15 months which was a little more than 2 months ago, part of that was construction had us down to two bedrooms and part of it he had a slight health issue and I wanted him close to monitor.
I think its one of those things that varies person to person and even then, kid to kid.
Also we gave the pacifier to our kids right away and although my kids weren’t fans after a few months it was great at soothing them in the beginning plus I remember hearing it was associated with lower SIDS risk.
@dntstpbelieveing I’m afraid I’ll be like this (which don’t take that the wrong way I just feel bad that I don’t necessarily want LO right next to me so long) I’m a light sleeper. Both dogs sleep in the room and I wake up pretty much every time they move around BUT I’m kind of immune to their movements now and get back to sleep. So maybe I’ll have luck like that with LO in the room. @Dcwtada I wouldn’t hesitate at all to keep my LO near me so long if he/she had health issues. Nothing to be ashamed of there! I like your 2-3 months bedside. Our soon to be nursury isn’t far at all and we plan to have an extra large big comfy chair in there too
We kept DD in a bassinet next to our bed, then transitioned her to a mini crib when she started rolling over, and then to a toddler bed several months ago. Her preference however is to sleep in our bed next to me (she's 21 months old so it is safe). When we did attempt to put her in her own room to sleep as a baby and toddler, she slept horrible and woke constantly calling me, so honestly in order for me to get any sleep at all we had to move her back into our room. We are hoping to transition her back to her toddler bed in her room before this baby is born since he/she will be in a bassinet by our bed. We will see how that goes. We did talk to her pediatrician to make sure it was not a concern developmentally for her to still be in our room or sleeping in our bed, and she told us she is ahead developmentally and with all her milestones, so it is honestly about our personal comfort at this point and she will eventually grow out of wanting to sleep in our room and desire her own space. And yes, I know plenty of people have opinions about it not being a good choice, and my inlaws finally gave up hounding us about when we were going to force her to her own room, because guess what, they aren't the ones being sleep deprived and having to work 40+ hours a week on no sleep, so I only care about my what her dr says and our health and sanity at this point. What works for some or what is considered normal, doesn't work for everyone. It comes down to what works for your family and your health, safety, sanity, etc.
@cricket1688 this baby will go straight to its own room. RNP vs. crib will be decided at the time. One thing to think about that always worried me was; we also have dogs and the one we had at the time we had DS would sleep in our room. It always freaked me out that in the RNP the dog could reach DS. Dont get me wrong we had super loving and caring dogs but I (most likely new mom fears) was terrified that he would put his head down on DS or something to snuggle while we were sleeping and with DS being a premie that his body wouldnt be able to take the pressure from the large dog head (again not saying I was rational). So for the few nights that DS was with us we also were transitioning our dog out of our room which caused him more anxiety and more noise. So just something to think about ahead of time. I also had great danes so they are extremely large so they could reach just about anywhere.
@dntstpbelieveing we have already talked about transitioning the younger one who moves a lot out of the room ahead of time! I'm not sure if it will be permanent but I want it as an option just in case. My other one stays on her dog bed all day and all night and good luck getting her to move hah. We have italian mastiffs so I am with you on the big head thing, the younger pup will only be 1.5 when baby comes so he's still a large baby. I'd love to hear how you handled bringing your baby home with both dogs? We are thinking of boarding the younger one a week before EDD and then a week after baby comes home so we can adjust with one dog first then the second. But I kind of think I am over thinking it?
I have some questions: I've heard/known some friends who said after giving birth, the next 12 months is fertile period to conceive again. If you've seen my intro, I've sought help from fertility clinic & it took me 2+years to conceive my first naturally after failed IUI. I am contemplating if I should jump on the bandwagon and aim for my 2nd child, God willing, during this fertile season. Fertility treatment was emotionally draining for me and who knows if the next one may require IVF treatment. If I were to spend another 2years to conceive my 2nd, I'll be 35 by then. I'm interested to hear what you ladies think, pros and cons.
@cricket1688 well our plan had been that when I went into labor if we couldn't do it that a friend would come take the dogs to boarding. I was induced for medical necessity at 35 weeks. It was a Friday at 530 and our boarder closes at 7. My friend was out of town that weekend. I wasn't sure how my dogs would be with just anyone coming in the house. Thank God my SIL was available and was able to get to the house in time (she lives an hour away). She grabbed them and took them. I got out of the hospital the following Thursday and we picked them up the same day. If we had the same situation again I would send DH home to take them to boarding because absolutely nothing happened that first night away. We brought them home right away because I didn't see a point to settling in then resettling again after they came home. (Plus I didn't want to pay for a ton of boarding) honestly there was no adjustment. The bigger old dog could have cared less and the younger dog about once a day would check out the baby but that's about it. Unfortunately we lost the younger pup a little over a year ago. This time we have to older dog who will go to my aunt's house or boarding depending on when/what's going on. And I have a work courthouse dog who will go stay with my coworker. Guess my advice is make a plan but have a backup lol
We ended up bed sharing and still do. It was a total sanity and sleep saver, and my son is a major snuggle bug who still sleeps better when I sleep next to him. I went into the safety of it in more detail back in the breastfeeding thread. But he will absolutely be in our room and in our bed so long as he still nurses at night. No way I’m trekking even out of bed to go get him to nurse at night. Also, it helps my sanity to have him sleeping next to me. I was and still am extremely sensitive to him, and if he’s not near me I freak out about whether he’s still breathing or not. With him laying alongside me, I know he is. Just another addition to the “every mom and baby are different” I’m expecting to do the same with this one, but who knows. He/she might need something different. As far as pacifiers go, I attempted to give my son one for SIDS prevention, and he wanted nothing to do with it. He just wouldn’t take it, so it’s possible your baby won’t even take one anyways.
As for pets, I have a cat. She comes and goes at night but has never once tried to sleep near the baby, let alone on the babies head. She also hated him and wouldn’t come near either of us for months.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Question for STM+, what did you do with your other LOs when you went into labor? Military so my parents and ILs live 15-17hrs away by driving. We don't have close family here, we have family a few hours away, but none that DS has even met. I'm honesty stressing about this. I feel like I am over thinking this.
@amaren-2 I live 15 hours from family and my mom always flies down to help. She usually stays for 3 weeks. I may ask her to just stay for 2 weeks this time or even swing it with no help. I have a teenager that can keep my little ones alive so it's a bit different.
@mcassiee I truly believe they say you are more fertile because you bleed for 6 weeks and women assume it's like a period and then they have another 2 weeks before they ovulate. When in fact, you could ovulate at any time because PP bleeding isn't the same as a period. Also, your uterine lining is on the thicker side and more ripe for implantation. A friend of mine had to do IVF for her first baby, which happened to be twins, and then got pregnant super easy with baby number 3, 4, and 5. So there is no harm in trying if you don't mind them being close in age.
@amaren-2 for whatever it's worth, I was another coach's wife's "on call" person when she was pregnant with her 2nd if she went into labor when our husbands were gone, to come stay with her first, since her family was a few states away. Her mom was flying in from a few days before her EDD to stay a couple weeks, but in case she went early, I was the one she would call. She wound up not needing me (her mom got there in time) but that was the plan anyway.
My family is about 2 hours away (so not far but not ideal in an emergency). My plan as of right now is that DS will go with a friend until my mom can get out here. If it happens overnight or even late in the evening he will probably stay with my friend who will take him to daycare and my mom will just pick up the next day (if during the week). Though I have not told DH yet but if I get induced early again then I will have DH go home the first night so DS isnt without us for as long (and so it isn't as hard on my mom). My mom has never stayed at our house before. She will come down for a few hours but then goes home.
@amaren-2, do you have access to an FRG (or something similar)? I don’t know what branch your husband is - Navy wife over here, and we fall back on the Family’s Readiness Group as a backup plan pretty heavily. We had just moved to Hawaii in 2014 when my (now friend) went into labor. We moved to the island as a command about 3 months ahead of our husbands, who had to go back to the mainland to bring the boat over for the change of home port (had been in CT), so 4 women were alone and didn’t know anyone as they anticipated giving birth. I literally got a call from my husband at 4 am asking me to help the wife of one of the guys in his division who was in labor and who didn’t know anyone. I met her at the hospital with her bag, made sure she had child care for her oldest squared away, and was actually the one in the room when her son was born. The same happened with the other three babies that were born with various other boat wives. Especially with military, there’s usually a support network if you can reach out for it.
If you’re specifically worried about family physically being there for the birth, can they fly in the week before you’re due? A lot of people do that. Is your husband’s schedule going to allow for him to be there? It was a close thing for mine with the twins (this sounds awful, and I don’t wish pre-e on my worst enemy, but developing it with the twins when I did allowed my husband to be there for their birth because he had to leave 5 days later and was gone for 3 months), so I totally get the anxiety that goes along with that.
Married 25 May, 2013 William Alexander born 18 September, 2015 Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017 Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017 Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
Re: Ask a STM November
I’ve mentioned this sentiment in other discussions here. I don’t find labor to be bad. I was induced and went med free, and still. Really not a big deal. I said it during labor, I said it right after, and I say it now. The 9 months of bodily take over before that? That’s what sucks. Which kind of sucks from my perspective, because labor is so much shorter than pregnancy.
And yes. I had plenty of milk and a great breastfeeding relationship with my son, and that crap still hurt for a couple weeks. It just does. He was latched just fine, every doctor I saw said so. My nipples just had to toughen up. It’s always good to make sure the latch is right, and as they got older if it starts hurting again it can indicate a problem (even as simple as them getting teeth) but everything was completely fine in the beginning and it still hurt me. Although I still hate pregnancy waaaaay more than breastfeeding. It makes me feel better to have my body to myself and have my baby earthside so I can physically see them and know they are ok. I’d take cluster feeding for 9 months versus pregnancy.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I am curious if it is true. I didn't use pitocin with my first.
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I think we focus way too much on the delivery, it’s one experience out of millions - I get it though, we dream about the moment, a lot of times since before we are even pregnant
Also re: b strep I also need antibotics every time since I am a c-section momma, honestly for me it was no biggie. Just a bag of fluid and medicine in an IV.
I don’t want to scare anyone, but please don’t wait to go and labor at home for hours even if you think you might have a long labor. To be honest when my friend told me about it, it freaked me out so much, I told my OB I wanted the antibiotics if I tested negative anyway. She agreed. But it ended up not mattering since I delivered so early by c section.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Am I totally naive that newborns ALWAYS start off sleep in parents room? Can they go straight to crib sleeping? Would love to hear both sides experience, pros and cons...
Also to pacifier or not to pacifier? I was a really oral kid, had a hard time giving up pacifiers, sippy sups, thumb sucking...I was a nightmare. On the one hand I dont want to overthink things, on the other if i can get away without a paci I would like to try.
As for pacis, I tried to avoid them, but my daughter used my boobs as pacifiers and I was so sore! I had to use the paci within 2 weeks. I was worried about nipple confusion but it wasn't a problem at all. Plenty of LCs will tell you nipple confusion isn't a real thing. Now that she's older (12 months), she still has a paci at night but otherwise doesn't want it. I'm going to break the night habit soon before it turns into a real thing!
As for paci's we started with one right away. I didn't intend to but when he went to the special care unit in the hospital it's just policy I think for them to offer the baby a paci in there. It didn't create any nipple confusion for him at all. I took it away around four/five months when he started teething. He was chewing on it instead of sucking and it was actually keeping him awake instead of helping him fall asleep.
In fairness, my kids have all been pretty good sleepers (please don’t think of this as bragging - I’ve gotten very lucky in this regard). They all started sleeping through the night around 9 weeks, which lines up reasonably closely with the transition, so for us, it works.
I think the sleeping arrangement is highly personal and parents often go into thinking they’ll have a plan and then find that they have to follow their baby’s lead. You may intend to room share for a year and then find that you last 6 weeks, like us, or you may intend to crib sleep from day one and then get home and find that bed sharing works for your family, and everything in between. I guess my recommendation is to not have any concrete expectations - in the end, you’ll most likely end up doing whatever gets everyone the most sleep possible.
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
We also gave both our LOs the pacifier within the first week they were born. It was so helpful with my son because there are times when you can't feed them (like when driving) and they scream and scream! Usually they find the pacifier tolerable while they are waiting to be fed. I was extremely worried on how awful it was going to be when taking it away from him, but it was no big deal. For a couple of days he would wander around the house looking for extra ones lying around, but he soon forgot about them entirely. My DD never liked the pacifier and is still a thumb-sucker. Now that's a battle!
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
DS did have a paci. He got it within a week or two of being born. Around 6 months he would pretty much only get it at nap and bedtime, it stayed in the crib. At 1 I took it away completely. He never had an issue. I took it away at the same time that I took away bottles. I will say that DS has been very easy with transitions for the most part (into crib, paci, bottles, big boy bed, etc.)
My third (and I am slightly ashamed to admit this) didn’t move to his crib until he was 15 months which was a little more than 2 months ago, part of that was construction had us down to two bedrooms and part of it he had a slight health issue and I wanted him close to monitor.
I think its one of those things that varies person to person and even then, kid to kid.
Also we gave the pacifier to our kids right away and although my kids weren’t fans after a few months it was great at soothing them in the beginning plus I remember hearing it was associated with lower SIDS risk.
We ended up bed sharing and still do. It was a total sanity and sleep saver, and my son is a major snuggle bug who still sleeps better when I sleep next to him. I went into the safety of it in more detail back in the breastfeeding thread. But he will absolutely be in our room and in our bed so long as he still nurses at night. No way I’m trekking even out of bed to go get him to nurse at night. Also, it helps my sanity to have him
sleeping next to me. I was and still am extremely sensitive to him, and if he’s not near me I freak out about whether he’s still breathing or not. With him laying alongside me, I know he is. Just another addition to the “every mom and baby are different” I’m expecting to do the same with this one, but who knows. He/she might need something different.
As far as pacifiers go, I attempted to give my son one for SIDS prevention, and he wanted nothing to do with it. He just wouldn’t take it, so it’s possible your baby won’t even take one anyways.
As for pets, I have a cat. She comes and goes at night but has never once tried to sleep near the baby, let alone on the babies head. She also hated him and wouldn’t come near either of us for months.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@mcassiee I truly believe they say you are more fertile because you bleed for 6 weeks and women assume it's like a period and then they have another 2 weeks before they ovulate. When in fact, you could ovulate at any time because PP bleeding isn't the same as a period. Also, your uterine lining is on the thicker side and more ripe for implantation. A friend of mine had to do IVF for her first baby, which happened to be twins, and then got pregnant super easy with baby number 3, 4, and 5. So there is no harm in trying if you don't mind them being close in age.
If you’re specifically worried about family physically being there for the birth, can they fly in the week before you’re due? A lot of people do that. Is your husband’s schedule going to allow for him to be there? It was a close thing for mine with the twins (this sounds awful, and I don’t wish pre-e on my worst enemy, but developing it with the twins when I did allowed my husband to be there for their birth because he had to leave 5 days later and was gone for 3 months), so I totally get the anxiety that goes along with that.
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019