@DDRRT1982 I feel like people can really just turn on when they're talking about something that matters to them, and you were so ON in your post - it's something I love to see! We are still fully planning on having a large family, I am in no way scared off! I just see more of the realities. Everything you said about being able to manage it all makes sense, and I agree, the day-to-day life is what's worth living for. It was only my brother and me growing up, but he is one of the most important people in my life, and I want my kids to have that multiple times over. I have always wanted a big family; my family accepts (and expects) it at this point. Even though my friends have heard me say how bad I want a big family for the past 15+ years, they think I'm crazy, like you said, but that doesn't phase me. The only thing that stops me from really discussing how passionately I feel about this is the losses we had preceding Nora; as much as I WANT a big family, I know that only so much of it is in our control. Right now, my husband is not open to the idea of adoption, but maybe that will change in the future. We'll see where we wind up! And I feel you about wondering if you'll fee like your family is "complete" - it's hard for me to imagine knowing I'm done.
@megpeg You've mentioned the idea of adoption before, and you said your husband is open to it, but your post sounded sad to me. What about the "maybe it's not about you" struck you?
@fatstagnation I hear you about the trade-offs you have to make - it's all about priorities and what works for your family. My husband and I both work in Manhattan; we bought a house in Jersey because it was the most affordable option for us (he is from Jersey, but I am from Long Island and leaving New York (even though I'm still there for work everyday!) is something that I still grapple with). We could've moved further out in NJ and gotten a lot more house for our money, but I'd rather spend the money than spend more time away from Nora on my commute. There are so many moving parts to this whole life thing lol
So I got offered a job. The unit I want at the hospital I want. I knew this was what I wanted from the moment I did rotations there but for some reason I'm still reserved. I'm almost not even excited to start and I really think its because my life is now centered around my family instead of a job. Im really struggling imagining not being home with LO. Im just hoping itll get better once I'm actually there and working.
@ashtuesday I also love when people get all animated and excited talking about something they love. I think we will end up with one more kid, but like you said so much is out of our control. We've had a loss and it took a long time to get pregnant each time. On the same note though it could also happen in just 1 month 😉.
@sgrn18 congratulations!!!!! In my experience working and being a mom is hard because you want to be in so many places at once (actually, maybe that’s just being human) but I think with your line of work you’ll be so busy and focused that for the hours you’re there you will kind of compartmentalize if that makes sense. At least that’s what I do. Texts and pictures from those watching LO help make the time away easier and can make a bad day better. So happy for you for getting the unit and hospital you wanted - what an awesome accomplishment!! Were you able to find a day care you liked? @ashtuesday I agree about trying to live closer to where you work even if you could have more house further south (New Jersey is ridiculous in pricing). My commute feels like the biggest waste of time in my day - plus I’m really losing my patience with traffic. Totally agree about all the moving parts of life - never imagined adulthood would be like this. By the way - hope you’re feeling well.
@ashtuesday not sad at all. It was kind of an aha moment. We have always talked about adoption and this made me feel even more pulled to it. The way he said it wasn’t sad it was what if God wants you to do this so this baby has a good family that he needs. You aren’t finished. Their story was amazing. They weren’t going to meet the bio mom- she didn’t want to. But she was by herself in the delivery room and asked if they wanted to come in. They are now friends with her and got to watch their baby be born. The story was beautiful.
@shoretobe still working on a day care. I found two that i liked with hours that worked but theres a wait list. The one i really want doesnt think theyll have an opening until mid march (so they say) I havent found one that i like that actually has a for sure spot. Im running out of time. Im sure once im there working itll be alright but i tend to overthink things to the extreme.
@sgrn18 CONGRATULATIONS ON THE JOB!!!! That is so exciting and so, so wonderful!!! I can imagine how uncomfortable you feel with the idea of leaving LO - but at least you'll be doing it to go to your ideal job instead of having to settle for something else. The adjustment back to work was hard for me too, but I got there - like @shoretobe said, you learn to compartmentalize. And for me personally, my time with N is that much more special because there's less of it now - I'm 100% with her when I'm with her and I try to make really conscious choices about how we spend our time. You will get in a groove - and find a day care you love - and it will be awesome!!!
@megpeg That is an amazing story!!! I'm glad it was an aha moment and not a sad one. Yay!
@sgrn18 congratulations! It sucks feeling torn, but if working is what your family has to do you kind of get use to it. I so desperately wanted to stay home with my kids, but it’s not in the cards for us. It does get easier and being with other working moms helps. I think you will see that healthcare is unique in the fact that you don’t have to work the conventional 9-5. The flexibility makes it easier to taylor your schedule around your families needs and you don’t have to work five days a week (assuming you are doing 3 x 12). I actually think the schedule offers a nice balance between family and professionalism. I hope you start to get excited. You’ve accomplished so much and deserve to be excited.
I wish my husband was on board with adoption. I really feel we could offer a child a great home with lots of love. I also think my kids would do really well with having an adoptive sibling.
@shoretobe@ashtuesday and @DDRRT1982 thank your for the congrats! For the first 6 weeks I'll be mon-fri then I'll transition to 3- 12s. I feel like im complaining a lot. Im sure once I know I have a daycare that I like, and actually start ill change my tune.
@sgrn18 how awesome! It is hard to transition but once you are working it all falls into place and feels normal. 3 - 12s is amazing too! It will be hard those days but then you will have four to spend time and cuddle!
My son wakes up an hour after we put him down. Tonight he was itching his head...likely dry scalp/cradle cap we are still dealing with. So I gooped him up with hydrocortisone and because he would not stop scratching, his arms got zipped up in his sleep sac. I was tired of battling him. He's now sleeping in my arms and I will free him before I put him down, but geesh, enough is enough... poor guy!
This past week was the first time that I needed a break from N. There have been plenty of times I've told my husband he needed to hang with her for a while, but it's always been so I could get stuff done - I would always have rathered to be with her. But one day this week, she woke up 45 minutes earlier than usual, while I was in the shower before work. My husband woke up with her, got her dressed, and fed her, then handed her off to me - but I was still nowhere near ready, and she was still exhausted - all she wanted to do was be held, and she just whined and whined if I put her down. Last week was some kind of hormone surge week for me pregnancy-wise (I never experienced that with N, but for that one week, EVERY symptom was amped up through the roof) so her whines were literally piercing through to my soul. Rushed through my morning routine so I could just get out of the house and into my nice, silent car (my husband does drop-off). I felt a little guilty, but I figure if it took me ten months to need an ounce of space from my kid, that's not too shabby!
@knuttyplus2 oh man! We just finished a round of antibiotics for an ear infection and the diarrhea stopped the day we were done. But after 10 days of diarrhea i wish for a touch of constipation lol
I’m ready for warm weather remind me I said that in four months when it’s hot and humid 😂
hope all the kiddos that were ill are feeling better.
@ashtuesday I get that. I know I’ll miss the wanting to be held all the time and cuddles but work has been so draining sometimes I’m happy to have to do cleaning while DH watches/entertains LO because it’s just less thinking
We let Nora try (mild!) tacos last night. She's pooped four times today and day care called to say they've run out of back-up outfits for her! 😂 Not a proud moment in parenting!
@ashtuesday hahaha I fed V chili a week or so ago. It was very mild. I pulled out beans and other soft bits, like diced tomato and corn, and let her have some bread dipped in the juice. We didn't have blowouts the next day, but there was a lot of poop.
So I gave Nate a Honey Graham Cracker without thinking about the whole "no honey until 1" thing. He's 2 weeks shy of being 1, so he should be fine, right?
I want to apologize for not being as involved here. Work has been more demanding then it should be and it already feels like we’re always on the go and LO isn’t even one yet. It’s wonderful seeing all the birthday photos. I can’t believe these babies are one. Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing. Sometimes I think motherhood is kind of lonely in a weird way because your focus is your kiddos and everything else falls to the side. Hope everyone is doing well 💜
So Nate's actual birthday is tomorrow and I have the flu. I can't hug him or kiss him or anything. I want to cry. I literally have to avoid my child on his very first birthday...
Re: Confessions of a new mom
@megpeg You've mentioned the idea of adoption before, and you said your husband is open to it, but your post sounded sad to me. What about the "maybe it's not about you" struck you?
@fatstagnation I hear you about the trade-offs you have to make - it's all about priorities and what works for your family. My husband and I both work in Manhattan; we bought a house in Jersey because it was the most affordable option for us (he is from Jersey, but I am from Long Island and leaving New York (even though I'm still there for work everyday!) is something that I still grapple with). We could've moved further out in NJ and gotten a lot more house for our money, but I'd rather spend the money than spend more time away from Nora on my commute. There are so many moving parts to this whole life thing lol
In my experience working and being a mom is hard because you want to be in so many places at once (actually, maybe that’s just being human) but I think with your line of work you’ll be so busy and focused that for the hours you’re there you will kind of compartmentalize if that makes sense. At least that’s what I do. Texts and pictures from those watching LO help make the time away easier and can make a bad day better. So happy for you for getting the unit and hospital you wanted - what an awesome accomplishment!! Were you able to find a day care you liked?
@ashtuesday I agree about trying to live closer to where you work even if you could have more house further south (New Jersey is ridiculous in pricing). My commute feels like the biggest waste of time in my day - plus I’m really losing my patience with traffic. Totally agree about all the moving parts of life - never imagined adulthood would be like this. By the way - hope you’re feeling well.
Im sure once im there working itll be alright but i tend to overthink things to the extreme.
@megpeg That is an amazing story!!! I'm glad it was an aha moment and not a sad one. Yay!
I wish my husband was on board with adoption. I really feel we could offer a child a great home with lots of love. I also think my kids would do really well with having an adoptive sibling.
remind me I said that in four months when it’s hot and humid 😂
hope all the kiddos that were ill are feeling better.
@ashtuesday I get that. I know I’ll miss the wanting to be held all the time and cuddles but work has been so draining sometimes I’m happy to have to do cleaning while DH watches/entertains LO because it’s just less thinking
Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing. Sometimes I think motherhood is kind of lonely in a weird way because your focus is your kiddos and everything else falls to the side. Hope everyone is doing well 💜