@kayjay44 I was going to ask you about RRL too! I remember you mentioning that you drank it, but I never did with DS. This time I just want to go into labor on my own, so I’ll do anything. Is there a particular brand you like?
My midwife mentioned rrl tea last week and i totally forgot with all thats been goig on with murmel. She said it helps (lack of evidence tho) with toning and prepping for labour. She also mentioned primrose capsuls for cliser to edd.. forget what for ill have to google
@cass06_07 - Like I said, no idea if it helps, but it gives me a feeling of control in a situation where I have none I do EPO starting around 32 weeks. It's a cervical softener. I take it orally but some women use it vaginally. I start with once a day and move up to 4x per day by 36 weeks.
@becks_726 - I don't think so. A uterine toner is thought to help make contractions more effective meaning a shorter labor.
ETA: OH and I passed my GTT thank freaking god. I couldn't take dietary restrictions when it's already hard to eat anything and 75% just comes back up.
The MW I saw for my appt today also recommended daily RRL tea. I need to go pick some up. Like @kayjay44 said it is supposed to help with uterine muscle tone and thus shorten labor. She also said taking evening primrose oil orally and vaginally will help soften the cervix. But not to do that until 37 weeks.
Another thing she mentioned to do but I had’t heard of is eat 6 dates a day starting at 37 weeks. That is somehow supposed to help with labor too.
By 37 weeks I know I’ll be willing to try anything that can’t hurt and may help to get labor going.
I can't do dates or Lara bars (which are mostly dates). It's a texture thing. Give me all the black licorice, though, and I'll eat pineapple until my mouth hurts.
@jgrodo I have lots of opinions about vaccines in general. My younger sister is immunocompromised and is unable to get any vaccinations. She’s the only person allowed in our home who hasn’t been vaccinated (ever, actually, but especially with a newborn). It’s just not worth the risk to us to invite the potential into our home when we know there are unvaccinated kids running around the playground all the time anyway. That’s the one place we can control it, if that makes any sense. And having seen her hospitalized over the flu, i can’t imagine inviting someone near my kid who could get him that sick.
@jgrodo I made sure anyone that was visiting DD when she was a newborn was up to date on all vaccines. I also made everyone wash their hands before holding her and anyone who had recently been sick or was still getting over being sick had to wait until they were 100% to see her. Maybe it was overkill but I don’t want to have any kind of chance of her getting anything.
@BourbonBiscuits that makes complete sense. I feel the same way. My hubs sister is apparently anti flu shot and he doesn't want to ask his parents or sister to get the Tdap which I feel like means no newborn time for you, but will be drama if I push it but I dont want to out new baby at risk
@jgrodo - everyone who can get it has to have both - being anti vaccine isn’t good enough for me and I’m not putting my baby at risk because you are stupid. Otherwise, they have to wait until the baby has had those vaccines to meet them. Illness is a huge deal when they are so tiny, I’m not taking any chances.
Watch out for cold sores, too, not just the cold and flu - it can have devastating effects on babies and they shouldn’t be around people with cold sores if you can avoid it.
@jgrodo It's tricky dealing with family anti-vaxxer members. H's cousin has four unvaccinated children, and we see them at family gatherings at least a couple times a year. There's no way I'm letting her kids near my kid until he's old enough to be vaccinated, which I'm sure will be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved. It's difficult to avoid drama if they feel insulted I think, just remember that it's your baby and nobody is entitled to be close with him/her. It's 100% your call. Your baby's health is more important than their misplaced, hurt feelings.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@jgrodo- Yeah we were rigid about it with DS1. Everyone had to have both shots. We’ll be the same with this guy, or moreso because of the time of year. But everyone who got a TDAP for DS1 will still be good for that one this time because it’ll only have been 2.5 years. Why doesn’t he want to ask them? TBH parenthood has a lot of, sorrynotsorry if this is an issue for you but here I am being an advocate for what is best for my kid because that’s my job and they can’t do it for themselves. This is a good first step for him. Also, he’s assuming they’ll object. If you’re like, hey, do you want to follow my OB an ped’s rules and get a shot (so you’re not the carrier who harms or kills my kid), most people are like, yes, NP.
I feel super strongly about this too and we had everyone who was gonna be around the baby get both shots. Even more important this time since we will be in the midst of flu/virus season. Tbh I’m a little more terrified of rsv than anything. We will have boat loads of hand sanitizer and if anyone is even sniffling they won’t be around the baby. It’s gonna be tough with lots of young cousins that live close but not taking any chances!
My biggest argument each time we had babies was getting my MIL not to kiss all over their faces, vaccinated or not. There are things you can't get shots for and she is always sick from November to April with various bronchitis and other lung issues. Lord knows what bugs she carries. It's exactly why she can't come "help" after the babies come home. All she wants to do is be in their faces.
We had everyone get the tdap. I’m not sure if we’ll enforce flu - my mother is so against it but she gets on my nerves anyway, so part of me wants to force it just to be a bitch. I asked our pedi and he said feb is the tail end anyway and we could wait and see how bad the flu is this year before enforcing it. So I might tell my mom she can meet the baby but then can’t come back until March or something. We’ll see how she acts the rest of my pregnancy. (Background: my mother has treated me horribly since I got pregnant with DD. No clue what happened - just constant talking down to me and questioning everything I do, mocking me, opening judging my parenting decisions, etc. I’m not usually so vindictive but she has absolutely no respect for me as DD’s mother.)
Gosh I never thought about vaccines. I was more concerned no one came by who was sick or getting over being sick. No kissing the baby, or touching hands. DD is a January baby and I never thought about making sure people had flu shots. When it comes to kids who aren’t vaccinated, they wouldn’t be allowed near them until the babies are vaccinated. I have no patience for anti vaxxers. Its different if they cant get vaccines for medical reasons but to just not believe in them isn’t enough.
DH is on the verge of sleeping in his car if he tells me to "just let it go" one more time. Before he got home this evening I dealt with an obnoxious 5 year old and my dog pooped on the carpet. So maybe not the worst things in the world but my last 2 mornings have started at 2 am and I wasn't in the mood to have my feelings dismissed. He's been doing this a lot lately. He ignores everything going on to mess around on his phone all evening and then wonders why I'm on the verge of losing it. Oh and he also told me that he invited a friend to Thanksgiving without letting me know first and told me I have to tell his mother what I need for the baby this weekend. I put together an Amazon registry so I wouldn't have to do stuff like that but he says she won't use it so I have to make her a list. WTF?? I already did!!! God I need sleep.
I am pro-vaccine and give exactly zero F's if someone doesn't like it. I'm not telling anyone they have to get a shot if they don't believe in it. But I will happily tell them they won't be around my kid until it's old enough to get vaccinated. They can make their own decisions.
@cali1710 I agree about being concerned about people coming by who are sick, or may feel like they are getting sick (but won't tell you they feel that way). I'm also nervous about people kissing the baby, especially older relatives.
@bellebaby221- Sounds like he needs to learn about a computer’s print function! He’s got this. 🙄 (you are a patient soul)
Mine got chewed a bit tonight for acting annoyed every time I ask him a question. Like, oh sorry, are you feeling annoyed about something going on right now?! Do not begin because I will win that war my friend.
@sjnsjnsjn it's such a weird family dynamic. His parents just complains about everything and will cause an issue about it and I think he just doesn't want to deal with them but I don't think he realizes how much of a risk it causes to baby. I swear I could wrote a sitcom or book about his fam- their behaviors are all so bizarre, I've never met anyone like them and don't know he ended up as "normal" as he did. His sister threw me for a complete loop when she said she wasn't getting the flu shot.
@nursemom913 that makes sense. We'll need to stock up on hand sanitizer. How are you going to enforce the no baby if sniffling if the person is there?
@ginger1228 that stinks about how your mom is treating you. I'd totally be spiteful in that situation
@grebretso good point! I feel like if it was my family itd be easier you know. I just don't want to cause a big issue with hubs but I feel so strongly about wanting nothing bad to happen to bubba -i hope I can get the doc to nudgey hubs someway so it's not just from me
@eggsandwich2019 how are you going to enforce it? Say something to everyone before? Or you tell your family he tell his?
@cali1710 I was worried about that Too! Haven't figured out how to address that- do you have a plan?
You guys are awesome! I appreciate all of the responses!!!!
I just signed up for three classes! Childbirth prep, newborn prep, and infant safety & CPR. All ranging from late Dec to mid Jan. Feeling accomplished!
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@jgrodo- Maybe you could have him come to your next OB appt and/or if you are doing a pediatric consultation visit and enlist that person’s help in educating your H about the importance. Some people need the vestiges of authority...
@grebretso enjoy all your classes! We/I are doing prenatal, newborn care and breastfeeding. I've really been enjoying them all! I wish we could do CPR but those classes are taught by an organization in Vancouver and they don't journey north to us in the winter so hopefully we will take that in the spring. Maybe a newborn sleep seminar as well. I'm all about the knowledge hehe
Also all of you expressing your no vaccine no baby policies is giving me confidence to do the same. To be honest, I am probably not going to accept very many visitors at all, especially not right after birth. I suppose the one nice thing about not having any family in town is no one will be clamouring for attention or information. Only a few close friends will visit likely.
@jgrodo when it came to people kissing and touching hands I flat out told people not to do it. When they walked in the door it was first thing I said to them. Some people just haaad to give kisses and I know DD will always kiss the twins but I’ll just say on the top of the head to her. I would also sometimes put those little mittens on her hands that prevents them from scratching so if someone did touch their hand at least it was just the mitten.
Ugghh DD was a December baby and we enforced Tdap and flu shots with grandparents, and will again. But the cynical part of me thinks that MIL will just lie and say she got them when she didn't, because she is a big proponent of "natural" germ exposure and tends to do what she wants. Thankfully, everything turned out ok with DD...
Since DD was whisked away to the NICU immediately after my CS, I was "robbed" of a lot of firsts- like holding her first, giving her first bath, feed, etc. I had a lot of hang-ups over that. I remember MIL wanted to take DD on a walk as soon as the weather got a little warmer and I asked if she could wait a week because DH and I wanted to give her her first walk. She rolled her eyes but agreed. And I just have this feeling that she took her on her first walk anyway because I could just see her doing that thinking it was something stupid and "what she doesn't know won't hurt her."
I know she was super judging me for having some separation anxiety when I went back to work which really annoys me because she didn't have either of her kids immediately taken from her to the NICU, and she got to have TWICE the length of maternity leave that I did. I love my MIL but she is definitely very judgy and that gets on my nerves so bad.
@jgrodo - for me, we started by asking everyone if they get flu shots and went from there. If someone came to see the baby and they were clearly sick, I’d just tell them they’ve got to wait until they’re better before getting close to/holding the baby. FWIW everyone has been solidly on board. It also helps that when they mention to their own doctors about the baby, their first statement has been “oh if you’re planning to go see the baby you need both the flu shot and TDAP.”
I look at it like this, there are going to be a million things I can’t control. People will give toys I don’t like. They might let them watch TV before I want. They’ll sneak fast food when I’m not there. Those are irritating but this one can quite literally become a life or death issue and I have FULL control over it. I truly do not care about causing conflict if it comes to the well-being and safety of any living being I am the advocate for.
This is a great conversation! Standing up for evidence based science in order to protect your baby, versus irritating relatives is an easy choice. I am definitely thankful that the grandparents all went and got the flu and Tdap vaccines this fall with no prompting and proudly told us.
Re: Weekly Randoms 11/19-11/23
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
She also mentioned primrose capsuls for cliser to edd.. forget what for ill have to google
@cass06_07 - Like I said, no idea if it helps, but it gives me a feeling of control in a situation where I have none
@becks_726 - I don't think so. A uterine toner is thought to help make contractions more effective meaning a shorter labor.
ETA: OH and I passed my GTT thank freaking god. I couldn't take dietary restrictions when it's already hard to eat anything and 75% just comes back up.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Another thing she mentioned to do but I had’t heard of is eat 6 dates a day starting at 37 weeks. That is somehow supposed to help with labor too.
By 37 weeks I know I’ll be willing to try anything that can’t hurt and may help to get labor going.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Watch out for cold sores, too, not just the cold and flu - it can have devastating effects on babies and they shouldn’t be around people with cold sores if you can avoid it.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Why doesn’t he want to ask them? TBH parenthood has a lot of, sorrynotsorry if this is an issue for you but here I am being an advocate for what is best for my kid because that’s my job and they can’t do it for themselves. This is a good first step for him. Also, he’s assuming they’ll object. If you’re like, hey, do you want to follow my OB an ped’s rules and get a shot (so you’re not the carrier who harms or kills my kid), most people are like, yes, NP.
(Background: my mother has treated me horribly since I got pregnant with DD. No clue what happened - just constant talking down to me and questioning everything
I do, mocking me, opening judging my
parenting decisions, etc. I’m not usually so vindictive but she has absolutely no respect for me as DD’s mother.)
@ginger1228 that sucks that things are rough with your mom, it’s never fun to have extra family drama - but I’d make her get the shot
God I need sleep.
Mine got chewed a bit tonight for acting annoyed every time I ask him a question. Like, oh sorry, are you feeling annoyed about something going on right now?! Do not begin because I will win that war my friend.
@kayjay44 I didn't even think about cold sores.
@nursemom913 that makes sense. We'll need to stock up on hand sanitizer. How are you going to enforce the no baby if sniffling if the person is there?
@ginger1228 that stinks about how your mom is treating you. I'd totally be spiteful in that situation
@grebretso good point! I feel like if it was my family itd be easier you know. I just don't want to cause a big issue with hubs but I feel so strongly about wanting nothing bad to happen to bubba -i hope I can get the doc to nudgey hubs someway so it's not just from me
@eggsandwich2019 how are you going to enforce it? Say something to everyone before? Or you tell your family he tell his?
@cali1710 I was worried about that
Too! Haven't figured out how to address that- do you have a plan?
You guys are awesome! I appreciate all of the responses!!!!
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Yep.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I know she was super judging me for having some separation anxiety when I went back to work which really annoys me because she didn't have either of her kids immediately taken from her to the NICU, and she got to have TWICE the length of maternity leave that I did. I love my MIL but she is definitely very judgy and that gets on my nerves so bad.
I look at it like this, there are going to be a million things I can’t control. People will give toys I don’t like. They might let them watch TV before I want. They’ll sneak fast food when I’m not there. Those are irritating but this one can quite literally become a life or death issue and I have FULL control over it. I truly do not care about causing conflict if it comes to the well-being and safety of any living being I am the advocate for.