I saw this on another BMB and thought it would be nice here:
A place to ask a STM about all things ranging from child birth and postpartum to baby gear. Also a place for STM’s to ask other moms with multiple kids questions.
Mine for November is:
Moms with more than 1, how difficult is the transition from 1 to 2? I’m so so nervous about the challenges having a newborn and an almost 4 year old will bring. Words of advice and wisdom welcome.
Re: Ask a STM November
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
Going from 1 to 2 when #1 still isn't 2 is hard. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I didn't have any help from my husband though because he was in residency and working 80+ hours a week. It was really my third baby but my first and second are 12 years apart so my second baby was like another first baby. <<did that make any sense?
Adding my 3rd little one (again really my 4th bc of the 12 year gap between the first 2) was a breeze. She just fell into a routine and I didn't stress about as many things.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
When #3 came they were about to turn 2 and 3. It was a world of difference, they were both excited and wanted to help. They didn’t play much with him until he got to the year mark but now all 3 are as thick as thieves. They wake each other up in the morning because they all want to be up and playing together. I am really not too concerned as to how they will react to this one. I do think it’s hard for them to be close until around the one year mark and the baby can start to really interact and have some cooperative play.
As for me, my adjustment from 1 to 2 was easier than 2 to 3. While I dont feel the kids aren’t getting enough mommy time or individual time, managing the needs of 3 is just a constant chore. Plus the logistics of going anywhere with 3 under 4 was just tough. Once my daughter hit 4 and was able to be more independent and didn’t require the constant supervision just for her basic safety things got a lot easier. I am hoping with the older two being almost 4 and 5 when this one is born they will be mature enough that those logistics won’t be as bad, in fact they may be helpful
I did read read an article that moms of three are more stressed out than 4+ moms mostly by the fact moms have just lowered their standards and essential DGAF anymore. Soo, I got that to look forward to...
My mom said she had a dream that my brother was a boy and just knew I was a girl even though she’d picked out a boys name for me “just in case”.
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
The second pregnancy I thought maybe a girl. Nope. Twin boys.
I think this one is a girl. So basically it’s probably a boy. 😆
zero motherly intuition over here.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
This one, not so sure. I got a 50% chance if I guess correctly
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
DD: 162
DS1: 154
DS2: 164
Current Pregnancy: 184
🤷♀️
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I'm more worried about this age gap. DS will be starting Kindergarten and DD will be in pre-K. It will be a lot of driving kids back and forth places and I'm worried that nap time with LO will have to be in the car. Also my kids fight ALL DAY LONG. I don't know how I'll deal with trying to break the fights up and manage a baby.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
With my third, I knew it was a boy. My symptoms were barely anything at all, very similar to my first. With my last pregnancy I knew it was a girl and it was. I was pretty sick. This time, I'm pretty positive I'm having another girl. I have been sicker than I was in any other pregnancy. My mom thinks I'm having a boy though.
I just knew DS was a boy. I have a less strong feeling that this one is a girl. I am kind of hoping for a boy just because I know life is easier for boys/men. But of course I'll love either one the same.
On the topic of DS, he seems like he might need a toddler pillow (he’ll be 2 in Jan). Any recommendations?
(I know a few people mentioned a couple of big ticket items they didn't think were worth it in the "splurges" thread, but I'm talking about even the little, cheap items that you just don't think are worth getting.)
I wound up never using my "official" diaper bag. I usually just kept a few diapers and small pack of wipes in my purse. My purse has three sections and I just dedicated one section to the baby, rather than bring a whole other bag.
I never used any of the baby-proofing stuff I bought, other than baby gates. My DD is only a year old though, so she's never really out of my sight. This may change as she gets older, but most of that stuff has been sitting there taking up space for over a year now. It may have been better to wait and see what I actually need.
Baby shoes - never wore 'em until she started standing.
"Conversely, any absolute must-haves that most FTM don't think of/know about?"
NOSE FRIDA! Lifesaver! those little newborn noses get so stuffed up, and this thing is awesome for cleaning them out. I know it looks crazy, but it works so well. And it's safe, my pediatrician even recommended it. Similarly, the Oogie Bear to get the boogers out. Stuffy baby = no sleep!
I also loved front-button onesies for when DD was really little - I didn't have to put the onesie over her head and it was easy peasy when changing blowouts. Specifically, I liked SpaSilk's front button onesie (if you don't like the style, try looking at kimono-style onesies). Along with something from their registry, I always gift these and Nose Fridas to my new mom friends.
I did buy travel versions of a lot of things and I traveled quite a bit with my infant daughter, so I get a lot of use out of those. But also be aware that there are a lot of baby equipment rental services now, so when you travel you can just have that stuff delivered and rent it by the day. I travel enough that it was worth investing in the travel gear but if I traveled just occasionally, I'd just rent it.
https://www.amazon.com/Bright-Starts-Playful-Pinwheels-Bouncer/dp/B00KHR7TPK/ref=sr_1_13_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1542142366&sr=1-13&keywords=baby+rocker
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN