@expandcontract - wtf, what kind of a reaction is that? At least most people put on a happy face for a new mom even if maternity leave is a bit of an inconvenience.
A full year of leave would be so, so lovely. But our culture in the US won't allow it until the Boomer generation is long dead. They're still under the delusion that women should stay home and raise the kids and men should work to provide so there's really no need for maternity leave unless the woman is being selfish and chooses a career over family. Reality check: turns out we don't make as much money as they did per salaried job in the 70's and 80's so both parents usually have to work even if one would rather stay home!
@expandcontract, what an inappropriate reaction! At least say something congratulatory, even if you’re a bit annoyed on the inside about shuffling things around at work. PS - not sure if you have asthma at baseline, but I also had pregnancy induced asthma the last 2 times and it sucked!
@wishiwaspreggo, I only echo what you’ve so eloquently stated on the US’s view of maternity leave. I have a considerably generous job (for healthcare, that is) that affords me 3 months of paid clinical time covered. But, if I want anything more, I have to plan ahead and add on hours to my first 5 months of the year. I did it last time to “earn” an extra month, but it wasn’t without its challenges. So worth it in the end though.
@expandcontract wow! Just curious, is your director a parent? Just wondering because I had a similar reaction from a coworker last year when I told her I was pregnant. She was a newlywed but also AMA and had made it clear to pretty much everyone on earth that she wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible. When I told her my news (and I was sure to be delicate knowing her situation) she looked at me with no expression on her face and quipped "of course you are" in a pretty disdainful tone. She kind of came around later and acted all happy for me and said she was going to miss me while I was out, but that initial knee-jerk reaction was a little rough.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@gabadoo yes, I do have asthma even when not pregnant. Thank you!
@peachy13 Yes, she has just one grown adult son. This is exactly why I was so hesitant to tell them. I mean seriously, that's got to be an HR violation or something. Im just so sick of our maternity policy in this country. 3 months non paid. I think someone else said this too, if men were popping out babies, they'd take the entire pregnancy and a year after delivery off!
@expandcontract yes agreed! I'm also soo over people asking what my company's maternity leave policy and then after I tell them, they dive into how horrible it is and how their neighbor's daughter got 6 months paid off at her company. How does that help me!
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
Well, just think of our parents and how few options they had. My mom had to stay home - there wasn't really an option otherwise. We were never hungry, thank goodness, but money was very tight for them with 3 kids and one income, I know that. I grew up eating those Banquet salisbury steaks, fried pork fritters, boxed mac n cheese, and canned veggies. If my wife and I were on one income we'd be feeding our family that too I suppose.
Let's just make sure we fight for our daughters so they can look back and wonder how we managed with 12 weeks unpaid leave.
@expandcontract I'm mad that your boss goaded you into telling, if you didn't want to. Like back off people. An asthma attack is an asthma attack. It doesn't change just because a woman is of child-bearing age. Not every twinge or sniffle is a sign of pregnancy.
I am hoping I didn’t just jinx myself but this announcement on Etsy that I’ve been eyeing just went on sale for 70% off. So...even though I’m not planning on announcing for a month and I’m super not feeling like I’m in the “safe” zone with my pregnancy yet, I bought it. I think it’s so cute! I’ll probably put it in a frame and get a picture of my son holding it with us in some fall leaves.
@expandcontract that is extremely inappropriate and I would have gone straight to HR. My director at my old job said numerous inappropriate things to me during my pregnancy and HR kept a record of everything. For example, he’d ask how I was feeling and if I said anything other that “SO AMAZING I LOVE CARRYING AN EXTRA THIRTY POUNDS ON MY BODY”, he’d go “OHH boy, here comes the complaining!” and various other things. Nothing dramatic came of it but he was one of those old rich white dudes who needs to go away so progress can occur and I didn’t want him getting away with staying 💩 like that. He eventually got a vaguely worded letter asking him to please remain professional. It helped I wasn’t the only person he said things too. Anyway, that’s incredibly unprofessional of your director even if you’re friendly. Not okay.
@wishiwaspreggo you nailed it. I have nothing more of value to add but I’m just shocked we as a country aren’t wildly embarrassed that legit THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES have better maternity leave than us.
We told everyone at 10 weeks, a little earlier than planned since I was struggling to hide my morning sickness. I'm in law school so we announced by saying "Baby Houston, on the docket for May 2019!"
We've already told our close friends, family, and coworkers about the baby. But for our general social media announcement, we were planning to take a picture of our most recent ultrasound photo alongside some fall-themed decorations (leaves, pumpkins, etc). Then, our plan was to post the photo on Thanksgiving (when I'll be exactly 13w) with a caption saying something along the lines of "we're baking more than just a turkey in the oven this year!"
I'm so excited now for Thanksgiving, I can't wait!! 🤩
We took pictures to put on social media today while at the Apple orchard. It started snowing. 🤬 But, the pictures turned out super cute and I can’t wait to share with everyone! I plan on sharing then either end of this week or next. I haven’t decided yet. End of this week I’ll be 11+2, next week 12+2. I just can’t wait any longer! I’m telling my students on Halloween. I’ll be 13 weeks exactly that day. 😊
I'm announcing after we find out gender. I'll be 15w. I made my appointment for gender ultrasound for November 18. Haven't quite figured a good reveal idea for the announcement yet.
@eatinwatermelonseeds are you doing an elective ultrasound for that or anatomy scan? Just wondering bc my hospital will only do the AS as early as 18 weeks. Conveniently my ticker change day is the same day my OB does appointments 😁
@eatinwatermelonseeds so exciting to find out so soon! I think my AS will be around New Years so that’s when we’re planning on announcing. Hopefully early enough to send it out on our Happy New Year cards. (We don’t do Christmas cards)
@eatinwatermelonseeds we did the elective with my son and it’s was awesome! So worth it. This time we will be doing the genetic testing so we will know by Halloween i believe 😬😬
@journey721 I did an elective early peak on Friday and it was just so amazing seeing baby and I was able to send links for live streaming to my friends and family who are out of state. I want to do the same to find out sex.
As long as all is well at my u/s at 3:30 today, we plan on announcing tonight with the photo we took on our trip to NYC last week. I can’t wait to tell our daughter. We wrapped up this onesie, a Big Sister shirt, and a Big Sister book for her.
Edited because my pictures are going crazy. So sorry!
I’ll be 9 weeks tomorrow, and still can’t decide on how to announce beside getting a cute big brother shirt for DS. We still haven’t told our parents yet which feels weird, but I wanted to wait until after our appointment to hear the heartbeat (next Wednesday) to tell them. Can first trimester be over already? I’m ready to have it all out in the open.
I’ll be 9 weeks tomorrow, and still can’t decide on how to announce beside getting a cute big brother shirt for DS. We still haven’t told our parents yet which feels weird, but I wanted to wait until after our appointment to hear the heartbeat (next Wednesday) to tell them. Can first trimester be over already? I’m ready to have it all out in the open.
We still haven't told anyone and we have no idea how to. But that's mostly because it's gonna be like surprise! We're having a baby and buying a house and getting married!
@sleepy33 So much exciting and good news though! I’m not very creative, so I’m not much help! A chalkboard with a checklist of the important dates could be cute though!
@sleepy33 So much exciting and good news though! I’m not very creative, so I’m not much help! A chalkboard with a checklist of the important dates could be cute though!
Yeah lol we don't really know 2 of the 3 dates, though. And SO wants to tell his peeps in person, which obviously makes sense. I'm just over here like ok, but when, cause my ass is getting tired of sucking in my belly and drinking club soda...
@sleepy33 completely understand... we’re very much social drinkers, so I feel like I’ve been in hiding the past few weeks trying to avoid friends. We ran into one of husband’s coworker friends and his wife at the beach, and the first thing he noticed was that I was drinking water and called me out. 😒 There’s just no getting around it. We also have lunch with my husband’s family on Sunday, and I almost feel like we should tell them rather than trying to be sneaky, but damn if they can’t keep a secret, and I really just want to hear the heartbeat next week before telling more people.
@megsb615 the temptation is so strong, I'm just tired of beating around the bush. First SO wanted to wait until after my DS's bday party this past weekend, since my ex-husband was gonna be there and stuff, it just seemed like awkward timing, and I agreed. Now we're supposed to have dinner with his dad Friday, whom I haven't met yet, and he's like well I don't want to introduce you and give him all that info at the same time, which of course makes sense too. But I'm like ok, we really don't have any family stuff planned after that for a while, so...? WHENNNNN
@sleepy33 Same here. It’s so annoying. Part of me wants to send out a mass text of the ultrasound to family (kidding.. kind of), and the other part of me wants to be extra so I don’t feel guilty not doing something special for baby #2 like we did for DS. 🤦🏼♀️ Guess it’ll come out eventually. Good luck meeting his dad on Friday!
I hear you. I'm so tired of pretending not to feel like crap. I was planning to announce to my family in person at Thanksgiving, but I'm thinking about just sending a Halloween card that says, "It isn't a trick, it's surely a treat! Our family is growing by two tiny feet!" Is that cheesy? Since its our 4th and has been over 4 years since our last, I'm not sure what their reactions will be. If I send a card, I don't have to know their initial response.
I hear you. I'm so tired of pretending not to feel like crap. I was planning to announce to my family in person at Thanksgiving, but I'm thinking about just sending a Halloween card that says, "It isn't a trick, it's surely a treat! Our family is growing by two tiny feet!" Is that cheesy? Since its our 4th and has been over 4 years since our last, I'm not sure what their reactions will be. If I send a card, I don't have to know their initial response.
I love this! I also am dreading having to tell people in person, especially his family who I don't know well at all. I just hate being the center of attention (which is weird, I like attention, but not like everyone in the room is staring at me and knows I've been procreating kind of attention). I keep threatening SO that I'm gonna send a group text.
@fatmonica that's super cute! I feel like my anxiety would be through the roof waiting for responses though and if some don't respond, it's that awkward "do I ask if they got it, what if they did and they just aren't happy for me." But you might not have crippling anxiety, so it could work out a lot better 😂😂
We’re finally telling our families this weekend and I’m 11 weeks (tomorrow). @megsb615 you’re not weird for keeping it in! I don’t know I just don’t feel this overwhelming urge to tell them yet.
@fatmonica That’s cute! And a perfect way to avoid having to tell in person, while still doing something fun. Then you can mentally prepare yourself for all the calls/texts.
Re: Pregnancy Announcements
@wishiwaspreggo, I only echo what you’ve so eloquently stated on the US’s view of maternity leave. I have a considerably generous job (for healthcare, that is) that affords me 3 months of paid clinical time covered. But, if I want anything more, I have to plan ahead and add on hours to my first 5 months of the year. I did it last time to “earn” an extra month, but it wasn’t without its challenges. So worth it in the end though.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@gabadoo yes, I do have asthma even when not pregnant. Thank you!
@peachy13 Yes, she has just one grown adult son. This is exactly why I was so hesitant to tell them. I mean seriously, that's got to be an HR violation or something. Im just so sick of our maternity policy in this country. 3 months non paid. I think someone else said this too, if men were popping out babies, they'd take the entire pregnancy and a year after delivery off!
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
I'm mad that your boss goaded you into telling, if you didn't want to. Like back off people. An asthma attack is an asthma attack. It doesn't change just because a woman is of child-bearing age. Not every twinge or sniffle is a sign of pregnancy.
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
I roasted a butternut squash last night, but had no energy to do anything with it once it was done. So... what should I do with it? Recipe ideas?
Edit: I'm an idiot. I thought I was in the Randoms....
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
@wishiwaspreggo you nailed it. I have nothing more of value to add but I’m just shocked we as a country aren’t wildly embarrassed that legit THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES have better maternity leave than us.
"Baby Houston, on the docket for May 2019!"
I'm so excited now for Thanksgiving, I can't wait!! 🤩
Edited because my pictures are going crazy. So sorry!
I’ll be 9 weeks tomorrow, and still can’t decide on how to announce beside getting a cute big brother shirt for DS. We still haven’t told our parents yet which feels weird, but I wanted to wait until after our appointment to hear the heartbeat (next Wednesday) to tell them. Can first trimester be over already? I’m ready to have it all out in the open.
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
@fatmonica That’s cute! And a perfect way to avoid having to tell in person, while still doing something fun. Then you can mentally prepare yourself for all the calls/texts.