My mom drives me crazy, but she is a godsend during the nb stage. She cooked, cleaned, watched the baby so I could nap. Occasionally she would take the baby at night so could have a normal nights rest (using milk I had pumped). DH hated having her around bc he just wanted to be alone as a family, but she helped waaay more than he did.
@megpants209 Maybe talk her down to two weeks because you will definitely butt heads, but moms can be helpful.
My mom stayed for 2 weeks after I had the twins and a week after my youngest. Because I had a c/s she was super helpful those first days because I was so sore and was limited in how well I got around. Plus DH went right back to work so I really appreciated the extra hands. She helped with laundry, cleaning and cooking until I felt good enough to get back to doing those things myself. So it's not all bad! 😊
@conchispita and @bellebaby221- you're reminding me that not all moms are created equal. After four days in my space, my mom left me with a sink full of dishes (we had no d/w in that place), no laundry done, and had the nerve to say, "I feel bad. I should have done some chores." Save the lip service at this point, for reals, man, jeez.
my mom, offers to watch the baby while I shower, I’m finally getting a shower for the first time in forever. I hear the baby crying the hungry cry, so instead of giving him a bottle, she sings to him. i fly out of the shower not really clean to feed my poor crying starving baby. This time my mom might be on toddler duty.
@disneybaby84- ha! I likewise was confused about how non-pro my mom was, having had three kids and having (presumably) watched my older sister and brother's kids at some point. Maybe they're just out of practice?!
My mum is coming to stay with me as of 37 weeks because DH will be out of town until my EDD. She'll stay until a week after birth probably. I know it's going to be trying but I really appreciate that she is coming to stay with me and I feel like that's earned her the right to stay for a bit after I don't need her. But I have asked her to do this for me, she hasn't sprung anything on me. That would seriously rub me the wrong way.
Having someone to come cook and clean after baby is here sounds like a dream. I’m glad you all have such supportive people to help out!
My MIL has offered to take DD once or twice a week when baby is here so that will be helpful. My mom would like to help more but she is getting older and unable to watch a young baby on her own for any length of time (which makes me sad for multiple reasons). But she can help out with DD once in a while. So I’ll get some breaks at least. DH will only be able to take a week or so off so any help they can give I’ll gladly take!
Sooo my winter coat has about 30seconds left in it, my belly ain't playing, and its getting cold here. Anyone find or have had a maternity coat they liked that kept you warm and wasn't a fortune?!?
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
Yeahhh my mother being here won’t be someone cooking and cleaning for me. It’ll be helpful for about 3 days but the first day my husband has to work it will start with “seriously? He’s gone ALREADY? Don’t you think he should be here with you right now? I couldn’t deal with that but I guess that’s just me.”
She always has the best intentions but in reality it doesn’t play out that way because she’s very attention-seeking and passive aggressive. I really don’t want to seem ungrateful but when my mom isn’t in therapy she expects me to fill that role and it’s just not something I can take on.
@smallbutmighty77 My colleague found an inexpensive one at Old Navy that she's now passed on to me. She paid around $50 for it, she said. Maybe check eBay/a maternity consignment store (if one is near you) first?
My mom is amazing with babies and moving and when we're sick and all that. We just moved and she had us completely unpacked, pictures all hung, and clean sheets on all our beds in less than 24 hours. It was AMAZING. When DS was born she came to stay with us for a week and stocked my freezer with food, took DS while I napped, called my doctor and got me diagnosed (over the phone) with mastitis, went and got my prescription, and on and on and on. I sobbed when she left.
Our parents will come at different times once we're both back to work for extended periods, but I'm not sure how much extended visiting I'll be ok with before that... What is adorable is that my FIL has been to the doctor and explicitly asked what vaccines he and MIL need to be up to date on to be around the baby and so they will be getting more than just the flu shot.
@sjnsjnsjn sounds like our moms are extremely similar. @megpants209 you are describing my MIL, except she is never helpful and always wants attention/pity party/ everything to revolve around her.
My mom is not as physically able as she thinks she is, so it's hard. Because she wants to come help etc- but then I just have to watch her too. MIL is far more help, but took us living there in between our move for 3weeks, for her and FIL to actually feel comfortable watching DD for any amount of time. Them babysitting is still however, after we put baby to bed.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
My mom was initially coming for one week, but now it looks like she’s able to get 3 weeks off work. I’m a little conflicted because as much as I’d love to have her here, she starts driving me crazy around week two. Our apartment is tiny and she’d have to stay on the couch, so as of now I’m thinking we should all just go stay at my IL’s huge house for two weeks (they live an hour and a half away and H can only get two weeks off work).
No idea when or how long my dad and his wife would be able to come, but to complicate things my mom and dad’s wife do NOT get along. Also, dad’s company is going on the stock market on my due date so that complicates things a lot (he’s the CEO and really has to be there).
I’m sure we’ll figure it out, but my family situation is stressful. Ugh.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
After three days of 3+Hr naps and giving me hope that naps were back on track, DD is now having a party in her crib. She is also randomly calling me in to pick up stuff she has thrown out. I really need her to nap today so I can get some cleaning done for her bday party this weekend!
@kayjay44 that's the absolute worst. Apparently every time a woman walks by our window DS says "mama?" and runs over and tries to open the door, then cries when it's not me. Working mom life is tough.
@kayjay44 I know - it breaks my heart too being a working mother as well. I have a more flexible job now than I did when DS was born but I also feel like I don't always get to be there with him when I want to be.
Oh @kayjay44 - that just blows. I’m sorry. I’ve been on both sides (teacher and now SAHM) and nothing stinks more than wanting to be there for your babes and you can’t. I’ll hope you can get home and give her lots of snuggles tonight.
I’ve had some post nasal drip going on for a few days now but I’m 99% certain that it’s a cold forming and not allergies. Picked up some Tylenol Cold today to prepare. Ugh.
My random is that I’ve been such a bad bumpie. I participated at first and then dropped off. I read but never reply bc I’m lazy lately. I’m going to try to be better. I was pretty active with my J17 crew and it was nice to have people to chat with all times of day/night, especially after baby came. So HELLO AGAIN F19!
@ginger1228 this was me as well. I lurked a lot and rarely posted. But I love my other BMB and I value those connections. I know I need to put time and energy into this BMB as well to continue that. I love hearing other people’s experiences and journeys.
Hey mommas 🎉🎉 i hope all good things are coming to y'all! I need to be more active on here. Just gotten a lil busy but feeling much better than last time i posted. Sending love to everyone out thereee ✨💓💋
I was super active on my M14 board. I’m still friends with some ladies I met there! I wasn’t as active on J17 and I have a hard time remaining active here. I don’t know what it is, but I find it more of a struggle now to juggle it all. I’m hoping I can get more active because having the support, especially in the beginning, is amazing.
I'm so glad that I have this board. My best friend had a baby last year, and she relied heavily on a local mom's group for support (that group was five women who all had the same doula, so they were all due at different times). I am an introvert and hate meeting new people IRL, so I was dreading finding a "mom's group" in my area. Thankfully, I have y'all, and I don't need to find a mom's group! I must say, I'm excited if/when we move to Facebook somewhere down the line, because this app sucks...and Facebook makes it easier to gif.
@kayjay44 I just think it’s really awful when husbands pull that shit KNOWING that it makes us feel bad. I honestly don’t want to know that my sick kiddo is constantly asking for me while I’m at work. It’s hard enough for me to concentrate as it is
There’s about 30 of us in my smaller A’16 FB group that migrated from TB. After 3 years, I talk to those mamas every single day, have met some of them IRL, we have a spreadsheet with all of each other’s addresses and everything. They have lifted me up through some really terrible times, such as when my Dad passed away unexpectedly and through my MC. It’s so corny but I can’t imagine my life without those friendships and connections literally across the world.
There’s a bigger group out of that BMB too, but I never joined that one.
I’m excited for the Facebook transition as well. It’s so much easier to communicate. I hate TB app! BMBs can be really special. I’ve met a few from my A17 and have more meet ups planned. We did a secret Santa and exchanged Christmas cards. Who knew “internet” friends could feel more like family!
I agree that TB app sucks, but I quit fb a few months ago (trying to minimize stress and distance myself from all of the yelling about politics) so I will be out of the loop, boo!
Also I’m so tired after boot camp that I’m literally sitting in my car in the garage (car is off obviously) because I don’t want to go inside and climb alllll the stairs. Lazy x100
Re: Weekly Randoms (10/8-10/12)
@megpants209 Maybe talk her down to two weeks because you will definitely butt heads, but moms can be helpful.
I hear ya. After my mom left when the twins were born my MIL came and did zero to help. She just wanted to hold the babies the entire time.
My MIL has offered to take DD once or twice a week when baby is here so that will be helpful. My mom would like to help more but she is getting older and unable to watch a young baby on her own for any length of time (which makes me sad for multiple reasons). But she can help out with DD once in a while. So I’ll get some breaks at least. DH will only be able to take a week or so off so any help they can give I’ll gladly take!
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
She always has the best intentions but in reality it doesn’t play out that way because she’s very attention-seeking and passive aggressive. I really don’t want to seem ungrateful but when my mom isn’t in therapy she expects me to fill that role and it’s just not something I can take on.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
What is adorable is that my FIL has been to the doctor and explicitly asked what vaccines he and MIL need to be up to date on to be around the baby and so they will be getting more than just the flu shot.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
No idea when or how long my dad and his wife would be able to come, but to complicate things my mom and dad’s wife do NOT get along. Also, dad’s company is going on the stock market on my due date so that complicates things a lot (he’s the CEO and really has to be there).
I’m sure we’ll figure it out, but my family situation is stressful. Ugh.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
I must say, I'm excited if/when we move to Facebook somewhere down the line, because this app sucks...and Facebook makes it easier to gif.
There’s a bigger group out of that BMB too, but I never joined that one.
@paperseatbeltt- I am so glad you are feeling better! I was wondering about you.
Glad for all the new people getting more involved. This group has been a sanity saver!