@psychobutthead that’s insane. I knew this was still a thing in verrry patriarchal societies but I didn’t realize so many people were actually like this! Anyone I’ve know who was disappointed has gotten over it well before their baby was born and baby is now loved just as s/he should be. To actively ignore your child over that is CRAZY. The disappointment like the one people I’ve known seems natural and totally okay to me. Child neglect does not, my mind is blown. Do people not know the odds are 50/50? Is that a surprise to anyone? Holy moly!
Its really sad and im hoping they dont push their daughters away more than they already are.
It makes me so sad to just think about. They quit letting us see them around this time. We haven't seen them since they where 2 and we live in the same town.
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
@nopegoat my BIL and SIL have 5 boys and they have always been my parenting role models. Their kids are all older now (the youngest is in grade 2) but even when they had babies and toddlers, they made parenting even their wildest look natural - not necessarily easy, but they are always so steady and calm. Seriously, my heros.
As for the gender disappointment conversation... I do have difficulty with people who are disappointed with one sex or the other because they genuinely think one is superior to the other. Mainly, I see this among friends still deeply entrenched in patriarchy who believe they need a son to pass their name and all their patriarchal power on to. Otherwise, I recognize that you can't always control your emotions.
Also, DH and I secretly both want a third girl because I love the idea of having a house full of girls. On the other hand, maybe it would be nice to have a boy so I can experience getting peed in the face while changing a diaper?
I have a problem with people who are so deeply disappointed too by not getting the particular gender they hoped for.
My BIL anand his wife are that way. With their first they went on and on how they wanted a boy. They went on and on about a boynand what name they wanted. They never had a girl name picked out. Then they found out it was twins. So they told everyone they wanted boy girl or boy boy twins. Guess what twins where both girls.
Fast forwars to be being pregnant with my son and just learning the sex. They where pissed and had nothing to do with him. They started telling everyone they where going to start trying for a boy, not a baby that December.
Well they got pregnant this past summer. And its a boy. They pay no attention to their twins now. The kids look like hobos since they dont buy them clothes in the size they are in and are throwing all their money into prepping everything for a boy. New everything that is boy oriented. Mean while their five year olds are wearing size 3t dresses as shirts.
Just wanna say that just because the size on the tag doesn't match the age of the child doesn't exactly constitute neglect -- sometimes I buy dresses with the plan that they can continue beyond their length and stay in DD's wardrobe as a shirt -- and she is sometimes in very real denial about what clothing items still fit her because she just loves xyz dress so much.
@nopegoat@msb615 +1 to liking animals more than most people!! and to being more than ok with being a boy mom!! I'm a huge animal lover & spend a good part of what little free time I have with shelter dogs🐾 @psychobutthead omg that's so sad about how they treat your nieces and your family! Crazy too.
I rarely curse (except in the car) but I did yell at a guy for being a f-ing jerk yesterday with DS in the car. The dude cut me off, and out came the word before I could stop it. oops🤷♀️
@brie_and_almonds There is obviously a problem when the only time those kids get clothes is when other people buy them for them. Everyone in my husbands family is concerned about it but everyone is too afraid to confront them on it because they will take the girls away from them too. The only time they get clothes if when family buys them clothes for their birthdays and christmas. Its to a point where my husbands family buy them about 6 outfits each as a gift because if they don't they won't have clothes.
I know kids can be stubborn about what clothes fit them and giving them up but this isn't that.
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
@vivereidescent That’s so awesome that you spend time with shelter dogs! It breaks my heart seeing animals without a home. When I was little, we lived in the country, and I literally made every stray a pet. My parents are big animal lovers too, and didn’t have the heart to turn them away either. We probably had 18 dogs at one point. Daddy fenced in an acre worth of land for them. 😂
@nopegoat Oh no! It’s hard enough taking care of kids solo, even harder when they’re not feeling well. Hope this is just a 24 hour bug, and he feels better soon!
I stopped at Starbucks for a PSL on the way into the office today and the cashier asked me if I wanted a free buttered croissant to go with it. UM, YES PLEASE. I had just finished eating a pumpkin spice scone I brought from home (just what a basic b I sound like lol), but I was doing such a happy dance and ate it in like 10 seconds. Heaven.
*TW*
Me: 32 │ DH: 35 Married 8/16/13 BFP#1 DS 11/13/16 BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18 BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
Today's lunch is baked cod w lemon sauce, fries and broccoli. I want it so bad. I am staring at the clock waiting for 12:30. I hope I get the good lunch lady who fills my plate up, not stupid Joe who gives me "healthy portions", f*ck your healthy portions Joe!!
@nopegoat Oh no! It’s hard enough taking care of kids solo, even harder when they’re not feeling well. Hope this is just a 24 hour bug, and he feels better soon!
Thank you. We dropped big brothers off at school and he came home and fell asleep on the couch. His fever is down for now but he's definitely not his normal spunky self.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@DuchessOfCambridge You're too nice! I feel like people just want reassurance without having to offer any support to others.
HR just sent out an email today saying they're enhancing their leave policy...effective July 2019. So bummed!! I don't know any details yet, but I'm assuming they won't let me jump on the updated benefits bandwagon even though I'll technically be on leave in July.
@sleepy33 Hope you get the good lunch lady. If not, tell Joe to quit being stingy with those portions! By the way, portion sizes I’ve been eating at dinner rival my husband’s. 😬
@msb615 someone started a one off post wanting reassurance of their pregnancy and I responded. It's nbd, but I feel silly responding at all since clearly that person doesn't actually want to be a part of this. She never intro'd or anything, ha. Oh well, maybe she read it and it helped!
When will I learn not to respond to one-off posts, especially when that is the first time the poster has ever participated on TB.
@nopegoat 4 kids on your own AND a farm. Do you have any help with the farm stuff? Or do the older boys help? Hope your little guy feels better.
H's job is weird. He'll go weeks without any travel (so local/office only) or with only being gone a day or so here and there to jumping from place to place and being gone most of the month. I have a pretty decent schedule going where the farm stuff is usually easily and quickly done though we are about to breed our goats and milking them again will be rather time consuming. Big chores like cleaning pens, worming and scheduled meds , hoof trimming, etc wait until my H is home and can help.
And yes all my boys have farm chores. My oldest two help me let everyone out in the mornings and helps me feed and put everyone up for the night. My younger two love feeding the chickens, ducks, turkeys, and geese and help collect eggs and fill up waterers.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
We've only had this farm (we have had animals in the past but nothing like this) for about 2yrs now. Not going to lie before then I had very little identity outside being a mom. I love this life! It's turned me into a whole new person and made me find several passions that I don't think I would have found otherwise. Photography, wildlife rehab, homesteading. It also made me realize how strong (mentally and physically) I really am.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Totally random, but whenever I read @DuchessOfCambridge posts, I legit visualize Duchess Kate talking in her British accent. I love it!
When my old BMB moved to FB, one of the women hadn't realized my picture was of Kate Middleton (to be fair, they are small squares) and thought I was a catfish because my FB photo didn't look anything like her I still find it hilarious. Sadly, I do not have a British accent though my FIL does!
@nopegoat Oh my goodness! I’m perfectly ok with an overload baby squirrel pics!
@DuchessOfCambridge I would participate! My hormones have been ridiculous lately. My husband is probably a bit worried about whether or not this is normal. He’s stopped watching Grey’s Anatomy with me bc I cry every time. Haha I know bmb usually do a “Why my pregnant self is crying”. 🤷🏼♀️
So I either got banned for the afternoon or there was some weird glitch that gave me an error message that I was banned. Either way. It was rough, I had to do actual work.
OK so did anyone else to that ring prediction thing that went viral on facebook? Where you can predict how many kids, their genders, and in what order you have each gender?
I ask because I did it all those months ago when it was blowing up all over fb. It always came out girl boy girl and then nothing. My MIL did it and hers came out boy boy boy girl which is correct. Well I guess my SIL with twins did it an it came out girl girl boy.
I did it again last night the first time in months and it came out girl boy girl again. Anyone else do it?
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
@psychobutthead That's insane about your brother and those poor girls. I did the ring thing too before my first, and I forgot if it worked or not. I think it did with me and my SIL?
@DuchessOfCambridge that made me LOL about that woman thinking you were a catfish and not actually Kate Middleton hahah
OK so did anyone else to that ring prediction thing that went viral on facebook? Where you can predict how many kids, their genders, and in what order you have each gender?
I ask because I did it all those months ago when it was blowing up all over fb. It always came out girl boy girl and then nothing. My MIL did it and hers came out boy boy boy girl which is correct. Well I guess my SIL with twins did it an it came out girl girl boy.
I did it again last night the first time in months and it came out girl boy girl again. Anyone else do it?
I did it years ago before any kids. It came back girl-boy-boy. I now have 2 girls. So....yeah.
What was crazy was that it was 100% accurate for my mom and her sisters for their children, retroactively.
Re: Randoms 9/17
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
Yeah i have never met two people more obsessed with having a certain gender.
Its really sad and im hoping they dont push their daughters away more than they already are.
It makes me so sad to just think about. They quit letting us see them around this time. We haven't seen them since they where 2 and we live in the same town.
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
I'm a huge animal lover & spend a good part of what little free time I have with shelter dogs🐾
@psychobutthead omg that's so sad about how they treat your nieces and your family! Crazy too.
I rarely curse (except in the car) but I did yell at a guy for being a f-ing jerk yesterday with DS in the car. The dude cut me off, and out came the word before I could stop it. oops🤷♀️
Esias Obert or Haakon Allen for a boy.
Beatrice Annemarie for a girl.
Im a teacher so my list is short to avoid naming my kid after a student. I know it will probably happen someday, but I’m doing my best to avoid it!
I know kids can be stubborn about what clothes fit them and giving them up but this isn't that.
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@nopegoat 4 kids on your own AND a farm. Do you have any help with the farm stuff? Or do the older boys help? Hope your little guy feels better.
HR just sent out an email today saying they're enhancing their leave policy...effective July 2019. So bummed!! I don't know any details yet, but I'm assuming they won't let me jump on the updated benefits bandwagon even though I'll technically be on leave in July.
@DuchessOfCambridge what happened? I think I missed it...
I graduated to 3 tacos from my usual 2 last night.
And yes all my boys have farm chores. My oldest two help me let everyone out in the mornings and helps me feed and put everyone up for the night. My younger two love feeding the chickens, ducks, turkeys, and geese and help collect eggs and fill up waterers.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@sleepy33 Glad we’re on the same page! That 3rd one was for baby anyway.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@DuchessOfCambridge I would participate! My hormones have been ridiculous lately. My husband is probably a bit worried about whether or not this is normal. He’s stopped watching Grey’s Anatomy with me bc I cry every time. Haha I know bmb usually do a “Why my pregnant self is crying”. 🤷🏼♀️
So I either got banned for the afternoon or there was some weird glitch that gave me an error message that I was banned. Either way. It was rough, I had to do actual work.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
Me ^^
I ask because I did it all those months ago when it was blowing up all over fb. It always came out girl boy girl and then nothing. My MIL did it and hers came out boy boy boy girl which is correct. Well I guess my SIL with twins did it an it came out girl girl boy.
I did it again last night the first time in months and it came out girl boy girl again. Anyone else do it?
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@DuchessOfCambridge that made me LOL about that woman thinking you were a catfish and not actually Kate Middleton hahah
What was crazy was that it was 100% accurate for my mom and her sisters for their children, retroactively.