@Clobert I have seen videos where people have their kids with them during labor but I can’t imagine anything more stressful! And especially immediately postpartum. My family lives in town, so DD will stay with them. I just figured that if I go into labor in the MOTN again, I’ll still have a few hours until we need to leave for the hospital. If they were three hours away, I would plan to have them come, since it’s likely you’ll still be in labor by the time they arrive, especially if they’re prepped and ready to go. And then have two friends as backups who could temporarily come care for her until family arrives if you really have to leave.
I’m lucky that my mom is 30 minutes away and my inlaws are 5 minutes away. I’m still nervous though, because although they all have babysat for him (a couple hours at a time) it’s a different story doing everything meals/nap/bath and bed. They are older and my kiddo is so high energy. I feel like it’s a lot to handle for a long period of time. I’ve hired a doula and the hospital is only 5 minutes away. If nothing exciting is happening I plan on sending my husband home to check in and hopefully do bedtime.
@Clobert my parents live a few minutes away and will be watching my kids. If they lived far away, I would see if someone could come out the week of my due date just in case
@Clobert We don't have any local family either. My mom is planning to come for a few days around my due date, but she can't take off work for long. I'm hoping and praying timing works out, but if not, we asked a close friend of ours who is retired if she could be on call to come watch DD. I told her she could feed DD whatever she wants and let her watch tons of TV, so I'm not super worried about it being really difficult on her. We live 10 minutes from the hospital, so MH can easily come home from time to time to check in on them. I will probably get a gift card in advance as a form of payment for her time and kindness. I plan to have lots of easy snack foods like granola bars, goldfish crackers, and applesauce pouches around so our friend won't have to worry too much about keeping DD fed. I'm not super worried about leaving DD, but I am worried about timing. Last time, my water broke at midnight before I went into labor, so I'm hoping timing works a little better so I don't have to call my friend to come over in the middle of the night!
I feel like a FTM again. I'm freaking out all over again because I can't visualize what it's going to be like when baby is here (exact same feelings as last time).
My problem is I CAN visualize it! I was soooo unprepared for how unbelievably HARD it was to have a baby the first time. The sleep deprivation, good god why doesn't anyone warn you enough about the sleep deprivation?! I thought I was going to die. I was miserable. Back to work at 8 weeks, the pumping, the washing, the cleaning, the endless nights....it's so hard. He didn't sleep through the night until 14 months old! And now KNOWING all this....I am terrified about how I will physically survive. At least the first 8 weeks I could keep putting him back to sleep (for his 30-60 min max) and then I could sleep in til like 10. This would give me maybe 5-6 hours total (broken up into like 8 chunks) of sleep per night. At least until work started. Now I'm going to have another baby to take care of so no more laying in bed for extra hours. I pray I have a better sleeper this time......
And my son is 17 months so he is totally clueless. If you ask him where the baby is he kisses my belly, and I try and point out babies when we are out or on tv. But I have no clue if he is putting 2 & 2 together at all. I do feel guilty that both these kids have to split my very limitted time....a few hours every evening. When I initially went back to work last time, the first few days I'd come home and my son would nuzzle me so frantically and want to be breastfed immediately, even if he just ate. It was just for comfor and it was really heartbreaking bc you realize how much they actually do miss you and it affects them as much as it affects you....
I know/don't know what I'm in for... When DS came home from the hospital he was 2 months old, but still a newborn in how he acted and needed to be fed. The every 3 hour feedings were hard, but it was so much worse when he wouldn't go back to sleep after the 2am bottle! I had to resign my teaching job and then stayed home for a year, so I didn't have to worry about work. This time, I have to go back to work in January and while I know the sleep deprivation will be bad... I don't know HOW bad it will be. One perk of not being able to breastfeed, I can drink allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the coffee.
What I'm not looking forward to just as much.... teething. Just when they start sleeping better, the teething starts.
@middleschoolmommy There are restrictions on coffee when your BF? News to me... I mean I dont drink more than 2-3 cups a day at any point but I don't think this was ever mentioned...
The excitement really hit me today. Maybe it's because it is a new month and we are all getting that much closer. I'm probably such a weirdo, but I love those last few weeks where every twinge or weird discharge (TMI) could be the onset of labor. Right now the next few months feel like they are going to last forever. I need to find a way to chill out.
I know/don't know what I'm in for... When DS came home from the hospital he was 2 months old, but still a newborn in how he acted and needed to be fed. The every 3 hour feedings were hard, but it was so much worse when he wouldn't go back to sleep after the 2am bottle!
Every 3 hours.....I'll take it! I was lucky to get an hour. I used to say they should give war prisoners newborns to take care of bc torture is the only way to describe it.
Bc I was breastfeeding I suffered all the night hell myself basically. My husband controls his sleep so well he wouldn't even wake up. So his friends/family would call him and ask how's the baby sleeping and he'd be all "ohhhh he sleeps great..." Meanwhile I looked like I was fresh out of a horror movie. Could've strangled him....
@lifesabeach85 I was told no more than 3 cups a day (before we found out I couldn't breastfeed). I needed a caffeine IV some days! I hated hearing "sleep while baby sleeps".
@Eveinshock that sounds awful! My best friend had to cluster feed with both her babies and I don't know how she did it! Since DH was working, I took the 11pm and 2am feeds and DH would do the 5am. DH definitely got woken up a 330-4am a few times when ds decided to stay up!
@middleschoolmommy I hate that saying too! If you’re not hallucinating the baby crying you’re too worried about how long they might sleep to nod off...
I’m terrified I’ll have another baby like DD2 — up every 2-3 hours for the first year, didn’t STTN until she was 3. And I have a husband who once literally slept through a tornado passing over our apartment, so sleeping through a baby crying is nothing for him.
Im really not looking forward to doing the new baby stage again....but I am looking forward to that over being pregnant, ha, so there’s that.
@runningyogimama DD was a really easy baby, so I'm pretty convinced that this baby is going to be just like you described your DD2. I'm crossing my fingers for you that this baby is easy on you. It only seems fair!
So my DS was born in the Summer, so for swaddling we did a short sleeved onesie with the swaddler (the summer infant velcro ones) over it. Now that I'm having a Winter baby, I can't figure out what to put on underneath the swaddler without over-heating? A long sleeve onesie and pants? The footie pajamas? Still a short sleeve onesie?
*Signature TW*
TTC#1 October 2014
BFP: November 2014, DS born via c-section July 2015
TTC#2 December 2016
BFP: 12/23/16- No heartbeat at 8 weeks, D&C 01/30/17
@offtoneverland That’s exactly what happened here! DD1 was overall easy - slept 12 hours by 6 weeks, only cried when she was hungry or needed something. Just super easy! And then the universe gave us DD2, lol.
@runningyogimama my DD sounds like your DD2. She was a really rough infant. Premature, desperately wanted back in my uterus. Colic, reflux, 4-6hr purple crying witching hour periods at night. Wouldn’t sleep unless skin to skin. Up every 1-2 hours. Didn’t sleep more than 4 hours at a time until almost 2. Everything with her had to be an exact science, or else it was a shit show. Everyone always asks, “is she a GOOD baby?!” And I was like....I don’t, I don’t even know what that means lol. That said, she’s a super easy toddler now. But fingers crossed this next baby is just the slightest bit less difficult, or else I don’t think I’ll be handling a 3rd
@highsteaks yes, totally this. My first was very, very difficult. Mix that in with some PPD and we were all a hysterical, crying mess 95% of the time. Thankfully, DS was a million times easier. I'm hoping this baby is somehow even easier than him.
DD was an easier baby in that she was very easy to sleep train and once we did that, she was a fantastic sleeper. During those first few months though, God the sleep deprivation. I remember swearing I could hear my breast pump saying "My nipples! My nipples! My nipples!" when it was running. DH and I eventually came up with shifts where he would take 4-5 hours, then I would take 4 and we'd alternate nights so that one of us was always able to sleep in a little. This time around I'm just praying praying praying that LO latches so I can breastfeed. I have no issue with giving her breastmilk from a bottle as well, but the potential middle of the night pumping is making me dread November.
@MouseMama817 You're a trooper! I definitely would not have had it in me to pump in the MOTN. I would usually pump at some point during the day/evening so DH would have at least one bottle ready to go for one of the MOTN feedings.
For us, it was like we got a brand new baby when DD turned six months. Part of the reason may have been the sleep training we did around 4.5-5months. Before that she would only nap 30-45 minutes unless she was actually latched on to my breast, wanted to be held constantly, would only sleep in the RnP and even there not great. Then, all of a sudden, she took long naps in her crib, started sleeping through the night 7-7, and loved sitting up and playing with her toys. The first six months were really really tough, and I'm pretty scared of going through it again, especially with also having a three year old.
So my DS was born in the Summer, so for swaddling we did a short sleeved onesie with the swaddler (the summer infant velcro ones) over it. Now that I'm having a Winter baby, I can't figure out what to put on underneath the swaddler without over-heating? A long sleeve onesie and pants? The footie pajamas? Still a short sleeve onesie?
Dr said 1 layer more than us. I think it depends the room temp more than the season. I had a Feb baby and heat at 73 I think. I put a onesie, light cotton pjs, and one of those cotton swaddlers. Nothing really wintery (like fleece) I just used more layers. This time I also found those same swaddlers with a zipper at the bottom which is awesome bc I don't have to completely unswaddle to change in the middle of the night. Sometimes the baby would fall asleep before I changed his diaper and I'd wake him up with the velcro!
@offtoneverland That’s exactly what happened here! DD1 was overall easy - slept 12 hours by 6 weeks, only cried when she was hungry or needed something. Just super easy!
This is how my new baby is going to be. I placed a special order for one just like this....
@mousemama817 I have so many memories from middle of the night pumping. DS slept pretty decently the first 4 months of his life (like 5 to 6 hour stretches were normal), but he ate a TON during the day. To build my freezer stash for when I went back to work, I pumped at 3am or so. It is so hard to do when everyone else is sleeping.
I’m pretty sure I have PTSD from my sons colicky days. He was such a hard baby. I couldn’t put him down and walk away for more then 1-2 minutes of his entire babyhood. I remember thinking that if i had another child to care for I don’t know what I would do. I remember very clearly thinking that we are one and done, and I would never go through this again...and here i am Im so scared this one will be just like my son.
Out of curiosity, has anyone else had their milk just not come in (at all) in previous pregnancies?
Mine never did last time and I'm wondering if the same thing will happen again. I've heard of people having low supply, but I've never met anyone else who just never had any (including colostrum).
It's not the end of the world if it doesn't (and maybe it's even better since I don't have to deal with the downsides) since I can't breastfeed while taking a couple of my medications that I take, so the milk would be wasted, but it would be nice to have the option to if I decided to go without those meds.
This time around I'm just praying praying praying that LO latches so I can breastfeed. I have no issue with giving her breastmilk from a bottle as well, but the potential middle of the night pumping is making me dread November.
Same! I really didn't mind EPing for the most part, but the first few months juggling MOTN bottle feedings and pumping was torture. I tried doing both at the same time, but it was a disaster. I'm so hoping I can figure out BFing this time mostly to avoid having to worry about that.
I had to triple feed ds the first 6 weeks of his life. I distinctly remember my pump singing "I think I can, I think I can" in the MOTN. praying so hard that baby is able to better bf this time around. Triple feeding is a special hell and I would love to not do it again. I'm also hoping this babe is easier on the sleep. We only got sleep if we co-slept, and I just got ds out of the bed. I am hoping this babe is a bit more laid back in the regard.
@wildrainbow Whoa. Triple feeding sounds like a nightmare. And you had to do that every 2-3 hours??
So, if I'm able to BF how exactly does the pump factor into that? Obviously if I'm away from the baby I would need to pump but I've heard mixed opinions on whether or not pumping when engorged ruins your supply. I get the argument that letting baby do the "draining" helps regulate your supply to their needs, but I got mastitis with DD and am not eager to repeat that experience. Am I supposed to pump on one side while baby feeds on the other or do I let one side stay engorged until baby is ready for a feeding on that side?
@MouseMama817 You only want to pump in the beginning just to take the edge off, but you want to make sure baby does the work. If you pump a lot in the beginning then you run into a hind/fore milk imbalance as well as oversupply. You supply tends to start regulating around 6(ish) weeks, so the goal is to try not to pump before then if you can.
And to answer your other question, yes, I had to do that every time he fed. He was a late term preemie and was expending the same amount of calories he took in from feeding. He didnt reach his birth weight until 6 weeks. It was hell, but worth it because after that he was a bf champ and gained like he should.
@mousemama817 just to offer another opinion because I know each breastfeeding relationship is different, both of my kids always ate from both breasts each feed. I would wear a Milkies milk saver cup on whatever side I wasn’t nursing from to catch leaking milk. That ended up helping my freezer supply a lot.
After each morning nurse, I would feed baby until full and then would pump for 10 minutes after to help build my supply. Most of the time, supply is greatest in the am so I always had extra. As I mentioned earlier, I also pumped once in the middle of the night to help build a large stash and also relieve middle of the night pressure. I dropped that middle of the night pump pronably around 2 months.
I rarely pumped for the first few weeks. They both cluster fed a lot so I let them bring in and establish my supply with that.
@wannaflickone So you'd wake up, pump (from both breasts?), then nurse (from both?), then pump (from both) again? Sorry, I'm super detail oriented lol. I almost feel like a FTM because I never truly experienced the breastfeeding aspect. The anecdotes help, thank you!
@mousemama817 I realized I typed that wrong after I posted so edited it. I woke up, nursed each side, then pumped off excess for 10 minutes. Usually could get a few extra ounces then so it helped and I don’t feel like it created excess supply. My body also regulates very quickly though with supply and demand from nursing.
@wannaflickone Ahhhhh okay that makes a lot more sense!! I was thinking holy bananas this woman had an intense supply. You also probably avoided mastitis that way as well. Looking back, I'm wondering if my early pumping sessions were long enough. I genuinely can't remember if I pumped long enough to drain. I developed mastitis about a week, maybe 9 days after DD was born. Another reason to limit all of those initial visitors! I wasn't comfortable locking myself in a room and pumping with a living room full of people.
@MouseMama817 Just another experience of BF and pumping but here’s mine. I SAH so I usually just wanted to pump enough so DH could give a bottle in the MOTN and if we were out or I went out. So only once, maybe twice a day.
I found the easiest time to pump was after a feeding when DD was napping or after she fell asleep at night because that was when I had time. I usually fed from both breasts and pumped from both too. There was always some left over for pumping even if she ate more than her fill. If anything it helped supply.
I started pumping at 1 week old and it all went fine.
My milk took over a week to finally come in due to all the bp and anti seizure meds they had me on. During that time of having to feed DD with a syringe she had poor neck and jaw control. Once we were able to try to nurse she had horrible reflux and no matter what position we tried, she hated nursing. Went to several LCs, we were miserable. She did so much better with anti colic bottles. It completely broke my heart, I still have such guilt and heartache that we didn’t have a breastfeeding relationship. I EPed for 8 months, every 2 hours, even during the night. I desperately wanted to make it to a year but once she began crawling and was mobile, I couldn’t be hooked up to the pump like that anymore. This time around, I don’t think I’ll have that in me. I hope we have a better breastfeeding journey this time around.
Re: STM+ Chat - Month of July
I plan to have lots of easy snack foods like granola bars, goldfish crackers, and applesauce pouches around so our friend won't have to worry too much about keeping DD fed. I'm not super worried about leaving DD, but I am worried about timing. Last time, my water broke at midnight before I went into labor, so I'm hoping timing works a little better so I don't have to call my friend to come over in the middle of the night!
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
And my son is 17 months so he is totally clueless. If you ask him where the baby is he kisses my belly, and I try and point out babies when we are out or on tv. But I have no clue if he is putting 2 & 2 together at all. I do feel guilty that both these kids have to split my very limitted time....a few hours every evening. When I initially went back to work last time, the first few days I'd come home and my son would nuzzle me so frantically and want to be breastfed immediately, even if he just ate. It was just for comfor and it was really heartbreaking bc you realize how much they actually do miss you and it affects them as much as it affects you....
This time, I have to go back to work in January and while I know the sleep deprivation will be bad... I don't know HOW bad it will be. One perk of not being able to breastfeed, I can drink allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the coffee.
What I'm not looking forward to just as much.... teething. Just when they start sleeping better, the teething starts.
Bc I was breastfeeding I suffered all the night hell myself basically. My husband controls his sleep so well he wouldn't even wake up. So his friends/family would call him and ask how's the baby sleeping and he'd be all "ohhhh he sleeps great..." Meanwhile I looked like I was fresh out of a horror movie. Could've strangled him....
Since DH was working, I took the 11pm and 2am feeds and DH would do the 5am. DH definitely got woken up a 330-4am a few times when ds decided to stay up!
Im really not looking forward to doing the new baby stage again....but I am looking forward to that over being pregnant, ha, so there’s that.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
TTC#1 October 2014
BFP: November 2014, DS born via c-section July 2015
TTC#2 December 2016
BFP: 12/23/16- No heartbeat at 8 weeks, D&C 01/30/17
BFP: 03/11/17- Chemical 03/15/2017
BFP: 04/17/17- Chemical 04/22/2017
05-10/2017 - RPL Testing/Septum Resection Surgery
11/2017-03/2018 3 Natural cycles / 2 TIC w/ trigger shot
BFP: 03/29/18, Rainbow Baby Boy Due late November/ early December 2018
me, circa 2015-2016:
This time around I'm just praying praying praying that LO latches so I can breastfeed. I have no issue with giving her breastmilk from a bottle as well, but the potential middle of the night pumping is making me dread November.
Mine never did last time and I'm wondering if the same thing will happen again. I've heard of people having low supply, but I've never met anyone else who just never had any (including colostrum).
It's not the end of the world if it doesn't (and maybe it's even better since I don't have to deal with the downsides) since I can't breastfeed while taking a couple of my medications that I take, so the milk would be wasted, but it would be nice to have the option to if I decided to go without those meds.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
So, if I'm able to BF how exactly does the pump factor into that? Obviously if I'm away from the baby I would need to pump but I've heard mixed opinions on whether or not pumping when engorged ruins your supply. I get the argument that letting baby do the "draining" helps regulate your supply to their needs, but I got mastitis with DD and am not eager to repeat that experience. Am I supposed to pump on one side while baby feeds on the other or do I let one side stay engorged until baby is ready for a feeding on that side?
Edited for grammar
I wasn't planning on BFing the first time around for the same reasons as this time, but it was still a disappointment that it just never happened.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
And to answer your other question, yes, I had to do that every time he fed. He was a late term preemie and was expending the same amount of calories he took in from feeding. He didnt reach his birth weight until 6 weeks. It was hell, but worth it because after that he was a bf champ and gained like he should.
is different, both of my kids always ate from both breasts each feed. I would wear a Milkies milk saver cup on whatever side I wasn’t nursing from to catch leaking milk. That ended up helping my freezer supply a lot.
After each morning nurse, I would feed baby until full and then would pump for 10 minutes after to help build my supply. Most of the time, supply is greatest in the am so I always had extra. As I mentioned earlier, I also pumped once in the middle of the night to help build a large stash and also relieve middle of the night pressure. I dropped that middle of the night pump pronably around 2 months.
I rarely pumped for the first few weeks. They both cluster fed a lot so I let them bring in and establish my supply with that.
I found the easiest time to pump was after a feeding when DD was napping or after she fell asleep at night because that was when I had time. I usually fed from both breasts and pumped from both too. There was always some left over for pumping even if she ate more than her fill. If anything it helped supply.
I started pumping at 1 week old and it all went fine.